Walking back into the house I grabbed some eggs and sunflower seed oil, frying eggs and softly humming. I felt hair brush against my thigh and I looked down "hi baby girl, wide awake? I'll open the door" I strolled to the glass door and slid it open. She lumbered out, not as energetic as she would be, she sniffed and seemed to be searching. I placed the eggs on a plate and glanced over to her calling her back inside. She leaned on me as I made myself breakfast, she huffed and stared at the spot Penny's high chair would be occasionally leaving my thigh to sniff the area and come back to whine "oh I know princess, I miss her too." It's fascinating how they connect so quickly I rubbed her ear and grinned at her foot tapping the floor. "Let's get your breakfast" I took the raw meat, I left thawing out when I first woke up, and set it into her bowl placing it on the floor. She heavy heartedly eats. I ate my chopped fruit as weighty footsteps could be heard stalking down the steps "morning Jay made you some eggs." He yawned and nodded sitting down grabbing a fork.

He knocked on the table to get my attention "yes?" 'What is Neveah's wife?' It took me a moment to process the question, "oh she's transgender, meaning she was born with a girl brain in a boy body. She suffered a lot of what's called 'gender dysphoria' which is the need to change the body to match your brain." I sighed "usually you hate what you see in the mirror and become desperate to change things. Some even go as far as to hurt themselves to make themselves feel better" I trailed off. My right hand petting my scarred face as I looked at the faded scars on my left arm; such a tenebrific time. My chest started to feel weighted, like if I was being crushed, my breath became shallow as my head started to ache with the memories. I didn't even notice my eyes were leaking until I felt arms wrap around my waist and a heavy head rest on my shoulder. "I just don't understand what people think when they point out my deformity and make jokes, like totally I am not aware that I am hideous. Thanks for reminding me again and fucking again, thanks for making it so crystal clear that I am terrifying and no one would ever love me, thanks for making it so fucking clear that I am an abomination." His arms applies more pressure to my waist turning me so my back wasn't resting on the chair but on his chest now. "I tried to kill myself, several times. I was so unhappy, and I felt so lonely, it was impossible to talk to people unless they went out of their way to talk to me which was rare. I tried to make everything seem ok and that I was comfortable with myself but it's a lie. I didn't want my only friends to worry."

I turned and buried my face into his neck, taking in his musky scent that calmed me down almost immediately. His large hand rubbed my back, tracing circles as I held on for dear life, "has anyone ever told you Jason that you are a blessing?" I looked up to see him shake his head, "to me you are." I sniffled and finally pulled away, "I should get to work, I feel better after that good cry. You watch over Precious for me. Maybe later today we can go hiking if you are up to it." He nodded eagerly as I headed to my office.

When I finally sent the last email I felt relief never gotta look at someone in the face and still get money I perched on my chair relishing in the solace of mind. Concluding hours of work was an amazing relief, especially to my spine and wrists, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I remember the real estate man mentioned a calm stream out in the woods that had a doc somewhere. Would be a good place to let Precious play, good to explore aswell. I hiked to my room with pins and needles down my legs, hiding hisses of suffering. In the bedroom I put on a two piece Amy so graciously gave me, it was a simple jam purple string bikini that emphasized my plump figure. Covering with basketball shorts and a loose t-shirt, I grabbed my bag placing my phone, floating toys, and bug spray inside. I took to the stairs and whistled for Precious "wanna go for a nature walk baby girl?" She zoomed around the couch where Jason laid, I leaned over and patted his shoulder "c'mon big guy" he looked up at me and smiled at me. His gum showing through his cleft lip, such a pretty smile, so pretty I thought to myself "let's go to the nature walk we discussed earlier" he leapt out of the couch and hugged me softly. "Let's go big man" I chortled a little as he gave a happy vocalization. His deep raspy voice vibrated my chest and brushed my body with warmth, I grabbed his wrist and lead him out into the blazing sun and open backyard. There was a door at the very back of the yard, just a simple chain link gate door with a lock. I unlocked it and let those two out, Precious ran off "don't worry she's coming back in 3…2…" suddenly Jason was smacked into and toppled over. She barked and ran off again we shared a laugh, I aided him. The forest was quiet beyond cicadas and rustles of leaves, then there it was. The sound of slow water, I grinned, "c'mon, follow me big guy" I heard his steps crunch behind me as a doc came into view, I gave a blasting whistled and paws rushed behind me and ran into the creek. I walked at the end of the dock and started stripped down. I glanced back and froze, he was shaking softly, so softly but I could still see it. I pulled the wedge out of my bottom, I waved him over and his steps lagged majorly.

I leaned up onto my tippy toes and grabbed his face "look at me Jay, I'm here to save you if anything happens, remember I know CPR ok? Join me, it's very hot." He took a very deep juddering breath "it'll be ok alright? I'm here, got nothing to be scared of" a smile crept onto his face splitting open his cleft lip. He slipped off his tang top and jeans only keeping his boxers in place. I hung my legs over the edge "I'll see how deep it is first" I jumped in, I bent my knees making my head dip under. I stood up my head barely poking out of the water, I grabbed the edge and pulled myself up "it isn't too deep" I coughed as my nose burned. I swam out as Precious ran off the dock and slammed into me "for fuck sakes I'm not drowning stop trying to save me!" I laughed and splashed her earning a slap from her paw. I put my head down to swim away, I then hear a splash from under the water and I felt arms yank me up and hold me close. I felt his large hand pet my hair as he panted panicked, I softly smile and look up "it's ok, I am ok. Just wanted to swim away from her." I placed my hand on his heart and felt it beating furiously and I smiled softly "I'm sorry I made you scared" the water only went up to his nipple and I leaned up pecking his cheek. I wiggled out of his arms and swam around him "if you want to, I can teach you to swim. But first you'll have to learn how to hold your breath" he softly nodded.

I demonstrated and have him duplicate me, it took a couple of tries and him whining about his burning nose for him to finally get it. "See now if you are in trouble with the water, hold your breath until I come." He nodded, "now for doggy paddle, watch how Precious paddles, forcing her head up while kicking her legs. It's very simple but a slow way to travel" I laid him onto my hand in an effort for him to float. He panicked of course, thrashing and vocalizing fear, I had to force him onto his own defenses and that did the trick. Shoving him into the water and suddenly he was paddling to the dock "you can do it Jay! Just like that keep going!" Once he gripped the dock and yanked himself up, mooning me in the process, I cheered him giving him my best praises while he panted on the dock smiling softly. "Pull up your boxers babe, you're letting it all hang out!" I giggled as he wriggled his way back into his boxers. I sidestroke towards him and uplifted myself onto the dock, barely dodging a racing Precious who splashed into the water once again. "Wasn't that fun?" He nodded, "wasn't that scary when you had someone helping you right?" Another nod, I leaned my head on his shoulder as he wrapped a muscular arm around my waist.

"I bet it's still scary, I don't blame you. I'm still the same with fire" he heaved me closer, my breast pressing against his lower rib cage. "Small controlled fires I am good with, but big fires like a bonfire or barbeque I can't do. I'm trying to get better at it but it doesn't help that what comes with those big fires is social gatherings which is also hard for me. I've been separate from proper social interactions for so long that it's hard for me to really talk to people I don't know. Good luck with keeping a conversation as well, and don't get me started on confrontation or standing up for myself." I felt his chest rumble and I cracked a smile "I just feel like when people see me I scare them off or they are just disgusted with my appearance." He made an annoyed noised and held me close, I softly grinned and hugged back "wanna go back home Jay and watch a movie?" I felt him nod on my shoulder and I stood calling Precious and getting dressed.

I never realized when I fell asleep until I shot up with pain, I was lying in a hospital bed what? How did I get here? Mama was there holding my hand my right hand smiling at me "¡tu puedes, tu puedes mi hija!" Do what mom? What can I do? It was then I noticed the leather strap in my mouth and I was baring down with pain. I look down and see my bloated abdomen, a doctor pops up between my propped legs "you are starting to crown Ms. Esperanza, just take a deep breath and push" push what the fuck? What in god's name is going on! My body took control and bush the grapefruit sized mass out of my canal, I felt like I was being ripped in half tears streamed down my eyes as I screamed into the leather probably breaking my mother's hand in the process. Oh god when the hell did I get pregnant? One more push and I felt relief, the weight in my hips and lower back left, my belly deflated, and the leather was taken out of my mouth. I panted in joy, but it soon stopped when I heard nothing, no crying just silence. I forced myself to sit up "doc? My baby?" Mama looked worried as well, "doc?" She repeated with her thick accent. It was agonizing minutes before he responded "I'm-I am so sorry Ms. Esperanza, he… is responding at all, he's a stillborn" my chest felt heavy and my stomach churned. My head started shaking "n-no it can't be" he sighed and let me hold the baby, my son, it was true, no movement and he was getting cold fast.

It all faded to white and I was standing, I fell to my knees smashing my fists to the ground "why! Why god why!" The memory still fresh as I sobbed into the nothingness. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder "shh, it was only a nightmare" her voice was soft and so nurturing that I instantly stopped crying. It sounded like my mother almost. I slowly turned to see an elderly woman, her platinum blond pixie cut framed her sunken face, her baby blue sweater felt soft against my bare back. Her eyes a bright hazel, the one my son had, I reached out and palmed her cheek making her smile "I am very much real darling, a spirit if you will. My little Jason has spent a lot of time with you hasn't he?" Is…is this "Pamela? Pamela Voorhees," "the one and only" "so Jay is not a schizo hearing voices?" She giggled and shook her head, "I am attached to my son. Because of his isolation he could hear me better than if he had a more" she paused and took a breath "conventional life." I slowly nodded, trying to understand, her ghost was real and he can really hear his mother? "Why did I have such a horrific dream, were you trying to warn me about something? Was this your doing?" She gave a sympathetic smile "every woman has those nightmares when they plan to have a family. I did too once, and no it isn't my doing. I came when you were sobbing and whimpering on the couch and Jason was desperately trying to wake you. He's worried sick." Guilt rushed over me, I'm sorry Jay I looked at her again, "it's better to talk about it Mireya. What are you worried about when it comes to having a family with my little Jason."

I was stumped, what was I concerned about that gave me such a horrific nightmare? Then it hit me "I guess since he is a serial killer. I mean I lived in gang filled areas, you kill a gang member and his homie comes and hits you where it hurts. Some of my friends were shot dead because of their mom, dad, or older sibling gangbanging. What if a surviving victim from his past finds out about him having a family and wanting revenge? That put me and the kids in danger. What if they take on his murderous tendencies? Jason is sweet but I am sorta aware that he may just snap and kill me and the kids or his kid will snap and follow in their father's footsteps. I know if I don't want that to happen I could just leave him but I am already too deep and I don't want to leave him because….because" I stumbled on my words. "You love him, don't you" I felt my face warm up as I nod and I felt her arms wrap around me, "don't worry, that's all he'll need to heal. Just some love. It's time to wake up now." I nodded and let go, closing my eyes.

I slowly opened them to feel strong muscular arms wrapped around me "h-hey big guy, it's fine I'm here." I turn his head towards me and planted my lips onto his. I smiled as I felt his muscles relax and hear him sigh through his nose "it was just a bad dream."