Ch 1
The wind blew slowly on the open plains as Jimmy made his way across the empty country. The wind was cold in the winter and the sky's were dark gray. Why did I do it? Jimmy thinks to himself as his horse walks the desolate land of the prairies.
Jimmy feels like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. He looks behind him to find nothing but emptiness. The dust and wind erases his footsteps from the earth.
He squints his eyes shut from the sand blowing in his face. This world is so cold he thinks as his horse walks on. Jimmy slumps over in the saddle. He closes his eyes trying to forget the nightmares of the past. He feels trapped in his own mind.
There is no escaping from reality, he thinks. He feels like he is lost and alone in the world. He pulls his pistol. Holding it in his hands as his horse walks, he looks at the cold steel. In his mind, the gun is the only friend that he has in the world. He looks around.
"I heard you." He says but there was no one there.
Jimmy looks at his hands. Why did he do it? That doesn't matter, what's done is done. There's no going back now. He rides on until he reaches Deadwood, South Dakota. He looked up at the sky. It's almost frozen in time, he thinks as he steps into the saloon. He steps into the darkness. He is greeted by the familiar odor of whiskey and cigars. He makes his request for a bottle of whiskey and finds himself at the back table in the room. He hangs his head not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. He faces the wall and consumes shot after shot. He takes a deep breath. The smell coming from the back room is calling to him. It called him into the darkness of his mind. He caves and walks in the room needing to escape. He takes himself out of this world with just a few puffs of smoke. He lays back against the wall as sorrow and regret consume his mind, eating at him, burning him alive. He pushes up to stand in uncertain of his next move. He staggers in the darkness. Jimmy's head spins as he barely makes it to the door of the saloon. He falls through the doors and lands on his hands and knees outside on the boardwalk.
"Get out the way you sorry drunk."
Jimmy stands as his hands shake from the opioids.
"You don't know me!" snarled Jimmy, "Get out of my face." He screamed.
The man pushed Jimmy down in the street. Jimmy drew his pistol. Before he knew what had happened, he shot the man in cold blood. He walks over to the dead man and leans in close.
"See what you made me do." He says. "You sorry now ain't you." He says standing while kicking dirt in the man's face. Jimmy reaches down and closes the man's eyes before walking to his horse.
"It's his fault." He says.
"It was his fault damnit." Jimmy screamed spooking his horse. He manages to swing up and turns his horse to walk out in the night. Jimmy makes it a few hours out of town before slumping over in the saddle and falling to the ground.
The next day Jimmy wakes to the rain hitting his face. He tries to sit up and feels a sharp pain in his ribs. He grits his teeth and manages to stand. His head was about to split, it throbbed. Even the gray in the clouds was enough light to make his eyes ache. His horse was about a hundred yards from him with it's reins tangled in the underbrush. Where am I! He thinks while looking around the unfamiliar landscape. Jimmy untangles his horse as the rain comes down dropping the temperature with it.
He mounts up on his horse and starts walking to nowhere . He becomes lost in the darkness of his mind. Jimmy's mind reaches its outer limits as he wonders through the realms of sanity. He drifts across the land for three days and three nights before coming to Steam Boat Springs. He walks in the diner and asked for bread and water, not wanting to spend any more money on food than he had to.
Walking across the street to the saloon, he finds himself at the bar with several other men. He sat at the end by himself. He paid for a few drinks and tried to stay to himself. He asked the barkeep for the rest of the bottle that was over halfway empty. He walked to the back of the room and faced the wall to drink by himself. He sat for hours drowning his sorrows before she walked over and sat down at his table. While sitting across from him, he held his head down using his rain soaked hat to cover his face from her.
"You trying to get lost cowboy."
"What's it to you? I don't remember asking you to butt into my business lady."
"You didn't hear me ask to sit down either did you." She cleverly replies.
"What you want?" He asked looking in her eyes.
"What do you want cowboy?" she says in return.
"Just go away and leave me be. I don't need or want anything from you."
"You ain't gonna find what you are looking for in that whiskey either."
"I just want to kill my conscience." He says looking down at the table.
"I can help you with that."
"You don't even know me. How can you begin to help me?" Jimmy huffs taking a shot as he was staring into the bottle of whiskey.
"You look like you're coming undone. I got what you're looking for."
She pours a white powder on the table and split it into two lines.
"What the hell is that?" Jimmy says looking around.
"It's what they give babies when they cut their teeth. It numbs my mind." she says leaning over one of the lines. She takes a deep breath, snorting half the powder off the table. She leans her head back and closes her eyes. She looks back at Jimmy.
"Just let it go. It's your turn."
Jimmy looks her in the eyes as he leans over and snorts the powder in his nose. He closes his eyes as the rush takes over.
She stands and walks behind Jimmy putting her hands on his shoulders. He held his eyes shut letting go of his fear and anger. She leans down to his ear.
"Follow me." She says with a devilish charm in her voice.
"Why do you do this?" Jimmy asked as he stood up.
"To escape the demons that haunt me." She replies grabbing his hand and leading him to the opium den in the back of the saloon. They walk in and sit down.
"What's your name?" She asked as she drew some smoke. "I'm Chey."
"I'm Jimmy." He says taking a hit from the mouth piece.
She takes a second hit from the bong. Smiling at Jimmy, she takes one more before passing it back to him .
"I feel...good." Jimmy says leaning back against the wall taking a fourth hit.
"When I'm out there on the plains, I feel like I'm suffocating. It feels like I'm losing my mind. I just want to be fine." Jimmy says taking a hit and passing it back to Chey. "The bad part is, I like living this way. Nothing seems to ever be right. They give me reasons and I don't let it go. They try to fuck me over so I take my time to be unforgiving and I can't let it go until I go too far. Then I got no reason. They drive me into the darkness. I kill them everytime."
"I have an insatiable love for the dead." Chey says looking into Jimmy's eyes. She pulls smoke from the bong, leans over and puts her lips on his, blowing the smoke into his lungs.
"I killed a man once just to sit by him without saying a word for two days. You have black soul, Jimmy. There's a monster in you." she says.
Jimmy takes a long drag from the mouth piece closing his eyes. His mind wonders away to a murder. He sees men standing in a room with a woman. He feels helpless standing in the corner not able to do anything but watch.
"Jimmy." Chey says touching his face. Jimmy opens his eyes looking at her with a blank on his face.
"I want some more of that powder." he says softly taking long slow breaths.
She slowly digs in her pockets before leaning back against the wall. Jimmy's eyes blur from the high he is on. He smiles as he turns his head to look at Chey trying to get his eyes to focus. He can hear his own breathing. He feels his heart beating hard in his chest. It pounded in his ears. He wants to move but his body won't budge, his arms are heavy. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes as he drifts away into his thoughts. His mind goes blank as time stands still. He opens his eyes so see a blur of light. A person walked by him. It was in slow motion before his eyes. What the fuck am I doing here? Fuck, it don't matter . Fuck this is good. He takes a long deep breath. He feels the weight lift off his shoulders. He blinks his eyes. There's a demon inside of me, he thinks. It wants to come out. Jimmy feels just like Jekyll and Hyde. There's so much anger inside I must be deranged.
"You are." A voice says plan as day. Jimmy blares his eyes open. Who said that? I just want to live my fucking life. There's a demon inside me, he thinks.
Hours later he comes to from Chey shaking him. She puts the mouth piece in his lips. He pulls and swallows down the smoke. She takes a drag and slides over by Jimmy as they fade away. They come to later that night.
"Chey, let's go. We are going to smoke our souls away. The devil is in the next room." Jimmy says as he laughed.
They make their way to the door and outside in the blackness of the night. Jimmy leans over and vomits. He's washed down with sweat.