Author's Note: Before you read this chapter I just want you all to know that I am not a lawyer and do not know very formal proceedings. I tried to make it cohesive enough. Sorry if you notice any discrepancies.
I just want to preface that the next three chapters are not heavily edited and are pretty much just pieced together. I feel so bad publishing something so unfinished but I feel like I no longer have motivation to work on this. I loved writing this fic but as I grow up and get closer to college graduation, I just don't have the time to devote to this. I just want to give you what I have so that you aren't hanging on as well!
"Loki! Open the door!"
"Gamora? Nebula? What on Earth are you doing? It's late."
"It's seven pm?"
"Late..."
"We are here to get you- what are you wearing?" Gamora stepped in and eyed Loki up and down as she entered.
"Clothes."
"I can see that but- why are you wearing that."
"Yes? It's a Saturday… also, they are comfortable. These are my 'my kid is gone' clothes," Loki crosses her arms now, covering the shirt that she is wearing. It's one of Tony's that he had left here but Loki assumes it's the ratty pajama bottoms that has Gamora questioning her choices.
"Loki, you are in your mid-twenties and you act like you are in your mid-sixties! Tony happened to let us know that your mom had the boys tonight and you two were going to be here. Also… since apparently, you don't remember…"
Loki grumbled and silently swore to hit the man the next time she saw him. "I just want a quiet night; the trial is tomorrow."
"Yes, so that's exactly why we are going out. It's going to be very low-key, and not the pun is not intended. You will have time to wear ugly pajamas and lie around when Fenrir and Peter are in college. Shower, now." Gamora pointed.
Loki groans but listens, trudging up the stairs. She knows that the two women seem to be in a hurry so, just to tick them off a bit more, Loki takes her sweet time getting ready.
"Loki, I'm coming up there. You better be in some sort of clothing, I'm not afraid to kick your ass naked or not."
Loki just rolls her eyes, slips on a robe, and continues curling her hair.
Nebula is the one that opens the door to her room and by what Loki can tell, she is antsy and uneasy, though Loki doesn't think it's because of her.
"Happy Birthday, by the way," Nebula casually says as she flops down on to Loki's bed, phone in hand.
"Today isn't my birthday?" Loki says.
"It is."
"My birthday isn't until-" Loki quickly checks her phone. December 4th. Her birthday. "I forgot again. Haven't celebrated since before..."
Nebula looks over at her now, something in her gaze but it isn't pity. "We didn't celebrate birthdays while we were with him either Loki. Gamora just marked them down until she turned 18. I chose one when we left."
Loki nods, "What day?"
"April 27th. Spring seemed nice. New life and all that shit."
Loki turns around and the women make eye contact, nothing has to be said between them. It's understanding that connects the two women, causing them to be so close. Loki knows that if any person in the entire world knew what she was going through it would be Nebula. She reaches out and pats the woman's head, causing Nebula to sneer but the women both just laugh. "Where are they wanting to take me?"
"Out to this new bar... Xandar or something."
"Was this Tony's idea?"
"Yep."
"Asshole."
"Loki!"
"Hello Peter, how are you?"
"Uh, awesome. It's your birthday! Party all night long! Woo!" the man shouted, and it echoed across the bar. Gamora rolled her eyes and took her boyfriend's face in her hands.
"Chill out, Peter," Gamora said sternly, fondness in her eyes. Peter was an eccentric one, as were all of Gamora's friends. Quite the ragtag bunch of misfits but Loki enjoyed the chaos that followed them.
"Happy Birthday, Loki! You look so pretty tonight," came a sweet voice to her left, Mantis. "You are nervous, yeah?"
"Thank you, Mantis," Loki smiled. She wasn't sure why everyone called the woman Mantis, but the woman had continuously been one of the sweetest people Loki had ever met, which made her absolutely terrifying. The woman was one that Loki didn't like to be around due to the woman's uncanny ability to read Loki's emotions like a book. "Have you seen Anthony?"
Just as the words left her mouth, two arms wrapped around her waist. Loki stiffened for a second, her eyes growing wide as she swung around. "Hey-"
"It's me, it's me. It's alright, got caught up in the moment. I'm sorry babe," Tony apologized, and Loki could see the sincerity in his eyes. He quickly loosened up on his hold around her waist. "You look gorgeous. Happy Birthday Lokes."
"Thank you, this was all your idea, hmm?' Loki asked with a smirk on her face, pulling him back closer.
"Do not give him all of the credit for planning this night, Loki. You offend me," Pepper said, appearing with three glasses in her hands.
"I knew there was a brighter mind behind this," Loki smirked and took one of the glasses Pepper offered her.
Ever since Loki and Tony had reconciled, Loki had made it her goal to make friends with Pepper again. It had been a long and tedious road, the redheaded woman was not one to ever cross but eventually with many wine and movie nights, the two had grown close once again.
"LOKI! SISTER! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! EVERYONE TELL MY SISTER HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
Loki groaned, hiding her face in Tony's neck. "Don't let the himbo brigade see me."
"It's too late there, babe. He's been so excited. You aren't going to get away from it."
"This is your fault; I had forgotten that it was even my birthday and now I'm here!"
"You forgot it was your birthday?"
"Yeah, I mean I hadn't really celebrated my birthday since… before. I just kept up with Fenrir's" Loki admitted quietly.
Tony huffed and nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to Loki's temple just as Thor arrived at their table.
"Happy Birthday, sister!"
"Thank you, Thor. You didn't have to tell the whole bar though. You are incredibly embarrassing," Loki laughed.
"Alright, alright, someone give a toast before we all get super smashed," Rocket shouted from somewhere to her left.
"To Loki, the most badass mom in the world, and the most badass person in this room, who we all love so much, especially yours truly," Tony said, and the room gave a laugh, holding up his drink.
"Cheers!"
The group all tipped their drinks back. A cheer echoing across the bar.
"Loki, come dance with me!"
With a shake of her head, Loki pulled out her phone checking to make sure that there were no texts from her mom. She quickly fired one off before Tony grabbed it. "Ah ah ah the boys are fine. Your mom just texted me that we are not to disturb their movie night."
"Anthony Stark, you are insufferable."
"Hey you think I'm fantastic."
"Not when you drag me out," Loki leaned in close, voice low and sultry, her lips close to his ear. "I thought it was going to be us two. I had a lot of things planned for us. No children and many, many hours of -"
"Loki! Shots with us!" Nebula said interrupting Loki and grabbing her arm. Loki grinned evilly, glancing back at Tony who seemed to be regretting all of his choices this evening. She laughed and followed her friend.
"Excuse me."
Loki was laughing at something that Gamora had been spewing off and turned around to the voice. Standing behind her, hands on her hips and looking extremely pissed off woman. She had bright red hair and seemed to be in her 40s.
"I'm sorry, are we being too loud?" Loki asks just as someone bumps into her from behind, making her topple over into the woman.
"You are the woman from the news, aren't you? The one who was kidnapped?"
Loki feels a chill run down her spine. She quickly turned her head to look for any sign of Tony or Thor or any of their friends but in a stroke of bad luck, they had disappeared. "I'm sorry? Why are you asking?"
"I just think that you are being irresponsible. You are out partying and drinking. Your son deserves better.
"I am sorry, but I think it would be wise for you to not bring him up. And I'm an adult that can make my own choices, just mind your own business, and please leave me alone," Loki tells her calmly and draws the bartender's attention. Loki is just on the far side of tipsy but assuming the conversation is over, orders another drink.
The woman, however, doesn't and taps on Loki's shoulder. "What did you do? Leave him locked in a closet again while you left? You should have let that baby go when he was born, selfish bitch. Unfit is what I think."
"Excuse me?" This isn't the first time Loki's been confronted by the public, especially with the trial so close. She understands that the public will make their own opinions of her and have their say. Usually, she has the wits to ignore it and move on but, Loki knows that she is vulnerable. There are people all around her and her head is feeling more than fuzzy. Loki quickly decides the drink isn't worth standing here and begins to head back to who she thinks is Nebula across the room.
"Slut, you ruined that poor kid's life. He will grow up without a father and hate you for the rest of his life. You should have killed him when he came out, it would have been a nicer fate," the woman finally quips and that makes Loki stop.
"Say something else and I will rip the tongue right out of your mouth," Loki turns on a dime and immediately bares her teeth at the woman. "You've pissed me off. Obviously, since you care so much about my life and think you would have made a better decision. Let's put it all out there and then we can hear from you. So, listen close and pay attention, imagine you are taken at seventeen years old, kept in a small room and raped every day for seven long years. There is no one to keep you company other than your rapist and kidnapper. Imagine then finding out you are pregnant. You give birth at nineteen years old, alone, with nothing but a hastily put together birth kit made from what your rapist could get you. You give birth in a 10 foot by 10-foot room by yourself, screaming out for your family who you know you will never see again, for the Gods, for someone to make it stop hurting so much. You deliver your child on a rug and struggle to stay awake long enough to cut the cord and make sure he's breathing. When you look at them, you realize that you aren't alone anymore. So, what now, take a step off of your podium and tell me what you would do next,"
The woman is stammering, her face ghostly pale. Loki just takes a step closer, invading the woman's personal space, Loki towers over her and she can see the woman obviously shaking. The people around them have stopped dancing and are listening intently now.
"You think you know, huh? You watched the interviews, caught snippets of the news on your phone and made your assumptions? It's ballsy of you to approach me but fuck that. I'm fine with what you think of me, I know myself and what I've done. However, I will warn you once, if you ever bring up my son again it will not end well. If I even sense your presence anywhere near me, I will not hesitate to send you to the fiery gates of hell and not feel a thing. Walk away, now."
Loki feels a hand on her shoulder, and she turns to see Tony, face hardened and glaring daggers at the woman. "Loki."
"I want to go home," Loki tells him, quietly. Tony nods and pulls them away, leaving the woman stunned near the bar.
"Here," Tony quickly shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over her head. Loki turns around once to see the bartender kicking her out, her friends that she arrived with quickly shunning her.
"How long were you standing there?" Loki asks him quietly. Her heart is beating out of her chest and she's no longer feeling very well.
"Long enough, I was just coming to make sure you were alright when I heard her last thing…" Tony admits. "I'm quite upset you didn't punch her."
"She was horrible, wasn't she?" Loki smiles a bit.
"It'll be alright. Let's go home. We can stop by and grab Peter and Fen."
They quickly say their goodbyes and Loki has to reassure Thor several times that she is, in fact, okay. He seems to not really believe her but is satisfied after Loki assures him once more that she will call him in the morning.
Tony, who hadn't been drinking, drives them to get the kids. The two boys are already passed out by the time that they all get home.
"Mama?" Fenrir whispers from Loki's arms. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Yes, of course."
"Me too?" Peter chimes in from where he had been drooling over Tony's shoulder.
"Yeah, buddy, alright," Tony says.
It doesn't take long for the four of them to get ready for bed, all of them dead tired. Loki falls asleep with Fenrir wrapped tight in her arms.
"Oh Loki," a voice came from behind and sent shivers down her spine. She turns around slowly to face the voice. "I've been waiting a long time to see you Loki. How long has it been? Five years?"
The man looks no different than the last time she saw him. He holds something in his hand, and it takes a moment for her to realize that it's the bright red toy truck that Fenrir received his last birthday while in Room. The sight of it sends Loki's heart racing and she calls out to Fenrir.
"Fen?! Baby?!"
"Oh, he's gone, Loki. Your little plan didn't work… I did as you asked, buried him among the trees," Thanos tells her, his voice filled with
"No… we got out."
"You could only wish that you escaped, little one. You got him killed, Loki."
"No! You bastard!" Loki opened her mouth to respond but the man closed his fist around her throat, cutting off all of her air supply.
"I remember this look. Oh, it was one of my favorites. Grabbing you like this and shoving you against the wall. I am pretty sure that's how that bastard Fenrir of yours was conceived wasn't it? That was a lot of fun. I think about that night a lot," Thanos growled in her ear as she scratched at his hand, trying to fight her way out of his grip. Just as her vision began to blur and darken, he let go and sent her to the floor.
"Fuck you." Her eyes scan Room wildly, looking for anything. Behind Thanos, the door is wide open, and she makes a break for it. However, she only makes it a few steps before falling, when she looks down it turns out her feet are chained to the wall.
"Now Loki. Where are our manners? Now see I was going to take you with me, but I feel like you would just be more of a pain in my ass. You would howl and scream and never give in to what I want. I made a mistake last time not killing you." Thanos, in an impossibly fast speed, slammed her head against the floor, the ground rippling around her with the force.
Loki wakes up gasping, her eyes darting around the room frantically trying to place where she is. It's only after a few seconds that Loki calms enough to put the puzzle together. Peter is clinging tightly to Loki's shirt, his hair going in every direction possible. Fenrir is happily draped across Tony's chest, snoring lightly. Relief instantly washes over her and she reclines back into the pillows.
"Loki, are you alright?" Tony whispers to her, his voice rough from sleep.
Loki looks over at him but can barely make out his features in the dark light of the morning, "Yeah, bad dream. I'm fine. I think that woman from last night shook me a bit… Not to mention that today is the trial. I probably should get up and look over everything again."
"Loki, you've had everything memorized for a week."
"I know but today… facing him again... If I could run and never stop, I would."
"I know and I would let you. If my pretty face could survive prison, I would kill him myself. Just snap him out of existence and no one would ever have to deal with him again."
Loki can't help but giggle quietly but has to still when Peter's face scrunches up like he might wake up. Loki lowers her voice a bit to make sure he stays asleep.
"You will be perfectly fine, we'll all be there," Tony whispers and Loki feels his hand run through her hair and she leans into the touch and the room falls silent again.
"Anthony?"
"Yeah, babe?"
"Would you- would you want to get married?"
"To you?"
"Who else?"
"Thor. Turns out I've been dating, sleeping, and living with you to get at your hunk of a brother. Surprise, bitch."
Loki reaches over and smacks him. "I knew it. I guess I'll just have to go after Pepper, she's hot." They both laugh.
"But kidding aside, are you proposing to me?"
"I guess so, this feels right. All of us together here, doesn't it?"
"More than anything."
"Are you going to answer?"
"Oh, yeah. Yes, Loki Odinson, I will gladly marry you."
They lie together like that for a while longer, the morning sun starting to peek through the window. The room begins to lighten.
"Mama?" comes a soft voice. Peter. Loki's heart fills with love and she leans down to kiss his forehead.
"Good morning, darling," she says.
Peter curls up even closer to her and Loki wraps him in her arms. They have time, so Loki doesn't hesitate to let her eyes fall closed. Her hand and Tony's wound together.
Outside, the weather is more than dreary. Loki thinks it's very fitting. They are just now arriving at the courthouse and even from down the street Loki can see photographers and paparazzi stand outside waiting like a pack of wolves. She knows this is the closest she's been to Thanos since that last night in Room. A hand absentmindedly goes up to grab the braided hair strand she still has. From beside her Odin places a gentle hand on her knee.
"Are you ready?"
"As ready as I can be."
"Good," Odin responds before looking out the car window again. He reaches for his umbrella.
Loki rolls her eyes, of course he has no time for rousing speeches here. She can almost hear the wheels turning in his head. Loki takes the last few seconds to study her father, he has been looking more and more ragged the past few days but so has everyone else. They have been talking a bit more, but Loki knows that what happened to her still makes him unbelievably uncomfortable. Their relationship still is not 100 percent the same. Loki doesn't think it will ever be.
Their cars all park directly out front. Loki has Odin, Thor, and Frigga with her. In the car behind them is Tony, Gamora, Nebula. Thankfully, Pepper had offered to watch Fenrir and Peter for the day. Her mother and brother are uncharacteristically quiet as they prepare to exit the vehicles. All of them know that the walk from the cars to the doors will be quite an affair.
"Whatever happens today, I love you all," Loki whispers, her eyes trained on the doors of the courthouse.
"We love you too, Loki," Thor answers.
It happens so quickly that Loki barely has time to open her umbrella. She is pulled to Thor's side as he escorts her through the crowd that immediately surrounds them. She can hear questions being asked and Fenrir's name being shouted at her, but she just pushes forward.
"Inside, Loki," Odin says gruffly when they reach the door and she is almost all but thrown into the building.
The air in the building now is extremely tight and crisp. Odin immediately leads them all upstairs into a spare room across the hall from the courtroom.
"Loki," Tony greets, coming up next to her and intertwining their hands together.
"Anthony," Loki murmurs, biting one of her nails on her opposite hand.
"You'll be fine."
"Excuse me. You and your lawyers are requested in the courtroom. The proceedings will begin in 15 minutes," a man says and leaves the room immediately. The whole room shifts and makes their way across the hall. Loki knows it is going to be testimonies in the beginning, which she is confident in. There is a small room off to the side where Gamora, Nebula, Dr. Banner, Loki and Fenrir's doctor, Clint and Natasha, the first police officers who met Fenrir are staying while they wait to give their testimony
Luckily Frigga, Thor, and Tony are sitting directly behind them, along with Peter, Rocket and the rest of Gamora and Nebula's friends. Loki and Odin pass through the small gate and take their seats. In front of Loki is her papers and folders. There is a pitcher and glasses for water and Loki takes one, trying to still herself.
People begin to fill the room, some desperate to see the proceedings and Loki can hear her name being whispered among the crowd. However, before it can bother her too much a door to her left opens and the room falls silent.
Emerging from the door are two police officers and behind them, Thanos. He is wearing an orange jumpsuit and his hands are chained to his hips. His eyes immediately land on Loki and a grin spreads across his entire face. Loki feels like she wants to throw up.
"Loki," Thanos greets, a smirk crossing his face. Loki can hear shuffling behind her and Frigga whispering to Tony. Thanos goes to say something else but he is pushed forward to the table across the room.
"Move, Thanos," the guard says and nudges the man forward. Thanos moves but his eyes never leave the women behind him. Thanos is greeted by a man Loki knows to be his lawyer, Gast. The man has an ease about him but in the few times Loki had to meet with the man, she knows he is more powerful than he looks.
"All Rise for the Honorable Judge Lee."
They all stand, and the judge enters. "Thank you. Good morning, ladies, and gentlemen. Calling the case of Odinson versus Titan. Are both sides prepared?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Yes. Your Honor."
For a few moments more, the judge goes around and the proper people are sworn in. Finally Judge Lee has them all sit and then turns towards Thanos.
"Mr. Titan, what do you plead in today's proceeding."
"Not guilty, Your Honor."
The whole room livens up at this, even though it was fairly public that Thanos had denied his original testimony and changes his plea to not guilty. Loki has to keep from rolling her eyes. The court proceedings go on as expected. Gast and Odin battle each other with a fierce ferocity and Loki has worn her cheek raw from biting it in nervousness. Dr. Banner's testimony goes smoothly even though the man is more nervous, he stumbles through a few words, but she trusts the man with what he recalls to the court, revealing pictures of herself and Fenrir the day they got out. Loki hardly recognizes them in the pictures, they are both extremely pale and bruises litter their entire bodies. Dr. Banner speaks of Loki's mental health and what she and Fenrir had to go through to get back into society. By the end of this testimony, Loki feels confident. Clint and Natasha go next, both recalling that night that they found Fenrir and Loki. Loki hears more details of what Fenrir went through that day then she remembers hearing. After Fenrir left her. It's heartbreaking but she cannot be prouder of the boy. The room seems to come alight during Gamora's time on the stand. Thanos is more than annoyed and angry. However, Gamora handles herself with grace. She is not afraid to look Thanos in the eyes as she seals his fate. Nebula is however more agitated than Loki's ever seen her. She's calculated in her answers but the determination on her face shows. Thanos dismisses Nebula instantly, looking more interested in glancing at Gamora every few minutes. Peter, who had arrived not long ago has his arms wrapped tight around Gamora's shoulders.
"Are you prepared to call your next witness?"
"Yes, we call Loki Odinson to the stand," Gast states says and Loki stands, walks to the stand next to the judge, and is sworn in. Her hands shake so violently that she shoves them under her legs to stop them. Gast approaches her and Loki almost wants to gag. He smells too strong of cologne and Loki recognizes it as the one Thanos often wore.
"Please state your name and spell it for the record."
"Loki Odinson."
"How old are you?"
"I'm 29."
"What is your date of birth?"
"December 4th, 1989."
"Ms. Odinson, you lived with Mr. Titan for eight years? Correct? You have a son together?"
"I didn't live with him of my own free will. My son is not his."
"Your Honor, please direct Ms. Odinson to answer the question, yes or no."
"Ms. Odinson…"
Loki hesitates but at a small nod from Odin, she answers. "Yes."
"Let's go back to that day, Ms. Odinson. When Mr. Titan pulled up to your car, did you voluntarily get in?"
Loki pauses, snapping her mouth shut.
"You voluntarily got into his truck, yes or no, Ms. Odinson?"
"Yes," she whispers.
"Louder, Ms. Odinson," the judge directs.
"Yes."
"What happened once you arrived at the house?"
"He invited me inside."
"Did you accept this invitation?"
"Yes, he said the dog was in the backyard."
"You had a fight with your family that day, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Was this the first time you had fought with your family?"
"No."
"So, it would safe to assume that you could have been looking for an escape route?"
"No. It wasn't out of the ordinary for me to argue with my family. I didn't want to be kidnapped I didn't want to leave them."
"But it could have been possible that you didn't want to go home that afternoon, was looking for something else to do. Is that right?"
"I just wanted to help the dog."
Gast pauses and goes back to his desk, checks some papers before turning back to Loki.
"Ms. Odinson, don't you think that if someone was raped, they would try to escape? Call someone?"
"I couldn't escape. The door was metal and had a keypad, we saw it in the picture."
"Don't you think that if someone was raped and held against their will, they would try to escape?"
"I did try to escape."
"Did you? From Mr. Titan's account you seemed perfectly happy to stay with him."
Loki recoils, pulling back a bit as Gast leans closer into her. The cologne is overwhelming, and Loki can't help but cough. Loki looks at the judge.
"Mr. Gast, please step back."
Reluctantly but with a smile, he does. He goes back to his desks, looks at a few papers and turns back to Loki. "You haven't allowed Mr. Titan's son to visit him at all while in prison?"
"He's mine! He isn't Thanos'." Loki says loudly, obviously bothered by the questioning. She can't take her eyes off of Gast who relishes in the fact.
"You had a DNA test didn't you not? Who is the biological father of that child?"
"He's not the father, he's a rapist."
"That's not an answer! Did those tests prove that Mr. Titan is Fenrir's father?"
Judge Lee taps his gavel once, lightly but the warning comes across. "Ms. Odinson?"
"Biologically, yes."
"You say that Mr. Titan didn't care for your son, but the truth is just the opposite. You refused to let Mr. Titan be a father figure in his life, you kept him in a closet every time Mr. Titan came to visit with him, isn't that right?" Gast asks, voice loud and it makes Loki flinch. "This wardrobe right here in the pictures we can see blankets and pillows and drawings. Is this where you kept him all day, every day?"
"Objection, your Honor. Speculation," Odin stands and shots.
"Sustained. Choose another topic, Mr. Gast."
"I have nothing further," Gast says, as he walks back to his seat but it's clear that Loki is more than shook up.
Odin stands now and gives her a slight nod; Loki takes it as reassurance. They've rehearsed this part a thousand times. Loki takes a deep breath and looks at her father.
Her father takes a few steps forward. "On February 23rd, 2006, Ms. Odinson, how old were you?"
"I was 17. I was a senior in high school."
"You were a senior?"
"Yes, Avengers High School. I skipped a grade."
"A mere child during this period," Odin points out to the jury. "The afternoon of the 23rd… what made you decide to walk home. Did you not usually get a ride home with your brother?"
"I had Science Team practice that afternoon and my brother, Thor, had football practice. We had fought that morning, so I didn't really want to sit and wait on him, so I decided to walk home."
"Ms. Odinson, on your way home what did you do?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary. I followed the same path I always take home. It wasn't uncommon for me to walk home."
"You never made it home that day, did you?"
"No, I didn't. I was only about two streets away when I heard a truck come up behind me."
"Can you describe the truck for us when you finally saw it?"
"It was an older truck, red and the paint was chipping off in some places."
"What happened then?"
"I remember it stopping next to me and the man shouted at me, I was scared and dropped my book. When I turned to look at him, he was crying and beckoned me over. I went."
"What did he say to you?"
"He told me his dog was sick and he couldn't lift the dog into his truck without hurting him. He needed help."
"And you believed him?"
The room at this point stills, she knows that this is where all of the contention lies in this case. She reaches forward for her water and takes a small sip before nodding. "Unfortunately, yes, he seemed convincing and I was caught off guard. My brother and I had argued, and I was angry."
"Did he invite you in the truck?"
"Yes, I told him that I needed to go home first, and he got more upset, started crying again. I did what he asked and got in."
"And then what?"
"He drove to his house, and we made small talk. I felt that something might have been off, but I was so preoccupied with the fight my parents and I had that morning it didn't register. I remember we got out and he parked his truck on the side. I kept my backpack on me, but I ended up accidentally leaving my phone in the truck. He invited me inside and I agreed but when I asked about his dog, it was when he got defensive. He told me that it was in the backyard. I took a step outside and when I didn't see the dog again, I tried to leave. The next thing I remember, I was in Room," Loki explains, and her eyes drift down to her lap.
"What do you remember?"
"I remember the first thing I saw was the skylight. It was still light outside, so I don't think I was out for a long time. I just remember my head hurting so bad. It took me a few moments to actually compose myself, when I sat up, I realized I was on a bed, but all of my clothes were gone. I was wearing this like smock of some sort, white and it smelled old. When I tried to get up, I realized my wrist was handcuffed to the bed."
"You were handcuffed to the bed?" Odin asks, voice tight.
"Yes. They were strong, real ones."
"Was anyone in the room with you during this time?"
"No, I was alone."
"Can you describe the room?"
"Yes, it was very small. There was a toilet and a bathtub across the room. There was a wardrobe and a small side table next to the bed. There was also a small kitchen area."
"What did you do next?"
"I began to look around the room for anything to tell me what happened. My phone was gone as was my backpack. I tried to break the cuffs and ended up making my wrists bleed. I screamed as loud as I could for someone to help."
"Did anyone come?"
"No. Not at first."
"How long was it before anyone else finally entered the room?"
"I don't know. I was in and out. There was nothing else to do but sleep. I remember when he came in, I was starving."
"Who entered the room?"
"The defendant."
"Can you point them out?"
"Yes." Loki leans forward a bit and points Thanos out. "It was him."
"What happened?"
"He came over and sat on the bed with me and put a hand on my leg, he just told me that I belonged to him and could never leave. I couldn't believe I was so stupid. He at one point reached across me to unlock the handcuffs. So, I bit him and kicked and screamed. He pinned me down then and told me if I ever touched him like that again he would kill me. I told him that I hated him and that I wanted to go home. He said, 'You'll never leave here unless you are a good girl for me.' He then hit me.
That was when the first time he raped me. I tried everything to get him to stop. I dug my nails in his face, hitting him as hard as I could, screaming. He was much stronger than I thought. He ripped off the clothes I had on. I begged and pleaded with him not to touch me, but it didn't work." Tears stream down Loki's face. Across the room, she meets eyes with Tony and even though he knows the entire story of what happened to her, she can't help but feel ashamed.
Odin's voice brings her back to the present. "When you use the word rape, you mean he forced you to have sexual intercourse with him?"
Loki stills again and looks down at her hands. Even though every detail of the first night is embedded in her brain, hearing them, and speaking them into fruition again, sends her spiraling for a moment. Deep down she knows Thanos is probably getting off on all of this, seeing her struggle and speaking of what he did to her. Thanos isn't remorseful and she knows, either way, he'll get what he wants.
"Yes."
"And you physically tried to prevent him from raping you."
"Yes, I fought tooth and nail."
"What happened after he raped you?"
"He got up and left, I remember crying myself to sleep."
"Did this happen every night?"
"No, there were nights he didn't come to Room. There were nights he just sat and watched TV. I never knew what he was going to do. Others he would come in pissed off and I knew it wouldn't end well. He would leave me more food and other things the less I fought him off. I was weaker at that point and very sick. A few weeks after that attempt was when I realized I was pregnant."
"So how long was it before you became pregnant?"
"About a year and some change? I made marks on the walls. Like I said, I was unbelievably sick, throwing up everything that I ate. I could barely get out of bed. I begged him to take me to the hospital, told him that I wouldn't say a word to anyone. I was dying, or at least I thought. He just continued forcing stomach medicine down my throat. It didn't work. He came in with a box one night and threw it on my lap. A pregnancy test. He made me take it in front of him and when it turned positive, he just left me there. I was stunned. A million things ran through my head. I was only 18, pregnant by a man who kidnapped and raped me."
"What did you do?"
"I wanted to kill myself. What kind of monster would I be to bring an innocent child into that room? I knew they would probably never get to feel the sun on their face or grass under their feet or rain on their skin or have friends or see birds and trees. Even I had started to forget what those things felt like. The more I debated, and days became weeks. I became attached I suppose. I would have someone to talk to, someone that loved me unconditionally. I was selfish.
"I sat in front of the TV for days, I only got a few channels but luckily one of them was one of those medical shows you know. I just remember sitting and watching hours of it, paying close attention to whenever there was a baby involved. Not very practical I suppose but it's all I had, and what I remembered from Sex Ed in high school. I tried to prepare myself because I knew I would have to do it alone. Growing up, you hear the horror stories about what it's like to give birth, but they always said you were surrounded by people you love, that it is worth all the pain, you can get an epidural if you need it. I didn't have that luxury in Room. All I could do was track the days. Every week I would ask for something else I needed."
"What do you mean you asked for things you needed?"
"Thanos had a rule that on Sundays he would bring me one additional thing, a "treat", along with groceries. Sometimes what I asked for wasn't feasible for him but most of the time he provided. I had to be very careful. I asked for vitamins and rationed them out the best I could, not knowing if he would get extras."
"Did the defendant ever seem excited about you being pregnant?"
"He didn't visit as much during this time. I wasn't very able to… to do what he wanted me to while pregnant. At night, however, he used to talk about how he wished it were a girl and ask what I was going to name her. I just prayed to every single damn god I could think of to make it a boy, even though I knew the dangers of that as well. He told me several times that if it were a boy, he'd take him, that he'd let me get attached for a few years and then give him away. He was scared of a boy. But I feared if it were a girl, it would be far worse."
Loki goes on to explain to the jury the day that she gave birth to Fenrir. She keeps herself from crying, but she can hear her mother sniffling a few feet away. There are others in the room that are crying too.
"The first year was the hardest. He was a fussy baby and I didn't have the best things to care for him with. I was so scared he was going to get sick. Thanos didn't pay much attention to him, but whenever he would come in, I would put Fenrir in a makeshift crib in the wardrobe. Fenrir was mine and mine to me. It got much easier when Fenrir began to talk and walk. I didn't sleep much, constantly scared Thanos was going to make good on his promise to take him away. We slept at night with me wrapped around him, trying to protect him as best as I could. He was a wonderful toddler. He listened and was curious but there wasn't much to be curious about or get into. There was only Room. I decided I wasn't going to teach him about the outside world or about the life I had before. For him, there was only that little room. There was no way to make him understand while lie a foot behind the walls we were trapped by. We grew up together. There were days that he taught me just as much as I taught him. His laughter filled the room. He saved my life, long before I helped him escape."
"Can you describe your attempt to get Fenrir out?"
"Yes, I knew I had to try something. Fenrir was growing more and more curious about Thanos. He didn't understand what was going on. There was an incident when Fenrir left the Wardrobe where he slept while Thanos was in the room. He was so scared, and I knew I had to get him out. I had to try…" Loki goes on to explain the first attempt to escape. The feeling of failure and fear. The second attempt comes directly after, the crying and screaming from Fenrir as he rolled out from the rug in practice.
"I never expected to escape. I just had to sit there, and hope Fenrir remembered what I told him. That he would… get away with ease. Fenrir had trouble remembering my name, I was just his ma. I gave him a note that explained who he was and that I was his mother. I just hoped that they would be able to get him to my family."
"You didn't think you would escape?"
"No, I fully expected Thanos to come back angry that I had tricked him into letting Fenrir go. Which he did. A few hours later, the door opened to someone else other than Thanos. I was able to step outside for the first time in seven years."
"Thank you, Ms. Odinson. I conclude my time."
Loki stands and goes to sit back next to her father, hands shaking wildly. There are a few things discussed further, more evidence shown before the judge dismissed the jury to deliberate in the back. There is no telling how long it could take. Loki is quickly ushered back to the room they had begun in this morning by her father.
"You let yourself get flustered," Odin snaps when they enter the room. Loki stops and turns to look at her father.
"I'm sorry?"
"We talked about this, Loki. You let him get into your head," Odin raises his voice. Loki's mouth drops. "You need to just brush Gast off. You looked a fool."
"Odin. Stop it, enough," Frigga interjects, her face confused at what brought the sudden onslaught against her daughter on.
"Are you serious? Tell me you aren't serious," Loki scoffs. "I'm sorry that I was a little overwhelmed seeing him again. It's not fucking easy. Not to even mention that Gast was drenched in the same cologne that Thanos used to wear. You are the biggest asshole I've ever met in my entire life."
"Don't speak to me like that, Loki," Odin shouts. "You should have been more composed. We went over all of those questions, you let your anger get the best of you. The jury is going to tear you apart!"
"You are the biggest dick in the world, oh my god. You are batshit crazy!" Loki is yelling. "What's done is done. Just leave me the fuck alone. A normal fucking father would have told me, 'Hey Loki, you did a great job, I'm proud of you.' or 'There were a few stumbles, but it will be alright'. Just stop. Don't speak to me again, Odin."
Loki is sure that people can hear the screaming from outside and just slams herself down into one of the chairs near the windows of the room. It isn't long before Tony joins her.
"You did wonderfully."