Beside himself with grief, CB leaves Barry to propose to Lainey, knowing he's truly lost her this time.

~.~

"Please forgive me, I know not what I do

Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you

Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through

Please forgive me, if I need you like I do

Please believe me, every word I say is true

Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you."

~Bryan Adams, "Please Forgive Me" (1993)

~.~

Outside Bistro de L'Amore, CB threw open the door to his Jetta, almost ripping it off the hinges, and sank down in the driver's seat, slamming the door behind him. He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and cried. He cried his eyes out. He cried harder than he ever had in his entire existence. He'd just lost the love of his life to the love of her life.

CB thought he felt something pass silently between them at the restaurant, when he looked into Lainey's eyes. But the second Barry entered the room, he lost her to him - again. He cursed himself for not confessing everything to her, for not fighting for her, for being selfish just once in his life. God, he was such a loser with a capital L. Why did he always have to be the good guy? Good guys never got the girl in the end.

CB looked up from the steering wheel and peered through the blur of tears at Bistro de L'Amore. Through the windows, he could make out Barry, who was now on bended knee, asking for Lainey's hand in marriage. He frowned, and an Earth-shattering sob cut straight through him.

He sighed, his heart breaking all over again. It was too late. He had truly lost her this time.

Digging the keys out of his pocket, CB cranked the engine and sped away. He left his heart with her that night, knowing he'd never be able to love another woman again the way he'd loved - the way he still loved Lainey Lewis.

~.~

CB managed to drive himself home to his apartment, peel off his clothes, and take a cold shower. He'd had several moments on the way home and even in the shower when he thought he was fine, but then he'd picture her face or a memory they'd shared and burst into tears all over again. At least, in the shower, his tears were immediately washed away, down the drain, never to be seen again.

Oh, stars, it hurt. It hurt him deeply, but he had to carry on. CB had to hold his chin up, be a man, and finally move on. Dear God, he'd said it enough over the past few months. And he owed it to Amy, though some part of him didn't have the strength, nor the will, to go through with their date this weekend. He just needed some time, some time alone to figure out what he truly wanted. If he even wanted a girlfriend right now at all. What he wanted was Lainey - her friendship, her love, her body, her everything. And he just couldn't have her. And it fucking hurt.

CB dried off from his shower and pulled on a clean pair of pajamas, the ones decorated with little cartoon cowboys and horses. He laughed, remembering how Lainey had once scolded him for wearing such childish clothes, though she'd prance around her apartment in her Hello Kitty pajamas and her Betty Boop slippers. Oh, how he longed for those days, back when they'd lived together. Things were much less complicated then, and he'd been so damn happy, happy just to be close to her.

A pounding on his apartment door soon roused him from his fond memories.

As he headed toward the door to answer it, CB wondered who could be visiting him this late in the evening. Maybe it was Paul from upstairs finally returning his cake plate.

He opened the door, and to his surprise, there standing in the doorway was Lainey, tears streaming down her face. He thought she'd be happily engaged to Barry by now.

"Lainey!" CB exclaimed, immediately concerned. "Is everything okay?"

"I broke up with Barry," she said, sniffing away her tears. "It was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do." The last two words barely came out before she burst into tears again.

No matter how terrible he'd felt losing Lainey to Barry, nothing could compare to the pain he now felt seeing her so upset.

"I'm so sorry, Lainey. C'mere."

He immediately pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly to his chest. His heart ached for her, and somehow he felt he was the one to blame for this whole fiasco. Maybe she really wasn't ready to marry Barry after all. But he had to admit though, he was thrilled that of all the people she knew, she'd come to him.

CB let her cry for several minutes, the sound of her sobs muffled by the flannel fabric of his pajama shirt, until she finally pulled back.

"May I ask why you two broke up?" He asked, reaching up to wipe away her tears with his thumbs. Her eyes were red and swollen, but she was still beautiful to him, more beautiful than ever.

"I just told him that I felt like we've drifted apart and the whole distance thing has been tough, you know?" Lainey confessed, peering up at him, half-smiling, "and… I told him I had feelings for someone else."

"Really? Who?" CB's heart lurched in his chest, and he hoped with all the hope he had left within him that the one she had feelings for was him.

"You… dummy," she said shyly, sniffing, and looked away. "But I know you've moved on and I just had to tell you to see if-"

Before she could finish, CB pulled her to him, planting a firm kiss to her lips. Lainey kissed him back, passionately, and lifted up on her tip-toes, running her hands up his arms and into his damp hair. Oh, stars, how he'd always wanted her to run her hands through his hair. And the feel of her lips pressed against his was the most wonderful, unbelievably mind-blowing sensation he'd ever felt. It was better than even his wildest dreams.

Lainey broke off their kiss to take a much needed breath and placed her forehead against his.

"I'm so sorry I broke your heart and that I just didn't realize how much you wanted to be with me," she said. "Can you ever forgive me for being so blind?"

"I already forgave you a long time ago, not that I ever blamed you… I should've just told you how I felt from the beginning." He closed his eyes, relishing in the moment. "How I still feel."

"I love you," Lainey blurted out and opened her eyes.

CB's heart thrilled at those three little words, its broken pieces melding back into one. He wondered if he was dreaming, if he'd only imagined her saying it.

"I want you, CB, and only you."

"You sure?" CB asked, holding his hands under her chin. He barely registered the fact that he was crying again, but this time, they were tears of joy. "I'm not a doctor like Barry… I can't give you fancy things like expensive cars and diamond rings."

"Charlie Brown, what makes you think I care about those things?"

"Because I know you, and you do." He laughed.

"You're right. I do," Lainey admitted, rolling her eyes. "But I'd trade all of those things… just to have you."

"Oh, Lainey… I love you too." He smiled through his tears. "I've always loved you."

They both gazed lovingly into each other's eyes, not able to hold back their need any longer, and their lips hungrily crashed together.

Lainey slowly pushed CB back into his apartment, her lips never leaving his, and kicked the door shut behind them.

THE END

~.~

I hope all the pain was worth it to get to this HEA. Man, this was VERY difficult to write and almost broke me. I think I typed through blurry eyes for most of this - both happy and sad tears. This fic is actually how I want Season 2 to end, though I know it probably won't happen this soon, and they're probably going to jerk us around for at least another season. But this is my dream! Hope you liked it and thank you as always for reading! ~ Dazzy xxoo