A/N: I'm likely going on vacation after this, work permitting.
Not sure when I'll be back, but I've got a trusted friend to watch my account and keep the updates coming for awhile-ones that I've written out weeks in advance-so many of you should at least be provided with your fiction fix.
What's that? I sound angry?
Hmm. I suppose I am, given the situation...
...let it be known that I do NOT enjoy being called a dumb fuck.
That's actually worth noting considering my self-esteem's worse than Hashirama's...
Long story short, when people insult me, I don't write. When I don't write, I don't update. Simple as that. Spamming hateful words and reviews that reek of napalm will only make me clamp down all the more, you know. If you have a problem tell me in clear concise terms. Don't tell me to go jerk off in a sock or kill myself or hang my dog.
Bloody hell.
I hobbled home this evening to get smacked with vitriol and complains about "A Most Unlikely Beast" and how dark it got.
So lets explain:
A Most Unlikely Beast isn't the end of the Most Unlikely Series, he's just the second Act. An antagonist. One starting with the weaker iterations of himself and working his way up. He's in for a RUDE awakening if he thinks he can just trample the Nasuverse like some raging Berserker. As we've seen, that world tends to bite back. HARD. Furthermore that Naruto is not a traditional "Beast" in the Nasuverse sense, but styles himself as one, false though he is. Tiamat or Goetia would absolutely ruin his day if he tried to face them. So there.
A Most Unlikely Collection got shredded as well, via anonymous spamming and private messages. Not to mention jack all in reviews.
Have an update then.
Because I'm truly irritated.
There, now that we've gotten that out of the way...
Would someone be a dear and give "A Most Unlikely Rider" and "A Most Unlikely Shielder" or "A Most Unlikely Collection?" a review? Those are my babies and have some of the craziest characters in the series, yet they get so very little love, and well, it would make an ailing man happy, and I write better when I'm happy, you know?
Now lets go over the classes I've yet to cover:
Now I COULD go with the (True) Rider variant set outside of Fate Extra and other (False) Servant variations, not to mention the Grand Servants...but that's a bit much. Even for me. So lets settle for Gunner (Newcomer) Saver, (Being Written) Moon Cancer (Being Written) A Most Unlikely Master (True/Apocrypha) and finally...
...Grail!Naruto.
One that does the bidding of an uncorrupted Grail and tries to find out what the devil is going on with all these Servants.
They'll all meet sooner or later! Now enough chit-chat!
Have your long awaited update, and I...
...well! Time for a vacation~!
See you all later~!
"Who...are you?"
"Just a humble swordsman. No one special."
...I must disagree. You're exceptionally skilled with that sword."
"And you've got some small skill yourself. Less talking, more fighting!"
~Lancer vs. Saber!
Listen Well
"Are you alright with this?"
Naruto wanted to shout; to shake his head-shake Sakura!-and tell her this was foolishness. A mistake. Instead he held his tongue as she questioned him, idly watching her wrap a red ribbon around his right wrist. A favor of some sort. How quaint. The sight of it almost made him smile. Years of mental and physical pollution couldn't be undone overnight-even by the likes of him-but he wanted to believe he'd made a positive impact on her psyche, at least. He must have, and she on him, if he was letting her tie a bloody ribbon to his arm.
Yest, he liked to think he'd made an impact.
She was his Master. She would always "be" his Master, even if she transferred ownership to another. Part of him understood the theory behind it; Sakura was a gentle soul; she did not enjoy war, nor did she like to hurt others. That was rare enough. But to willingly-voluntarily!-give up ownership of a Servant was something else entirely. It endeared her to him all the more. In that moment, Saber decided. He would live for this girl. Die for her, if he must. Not because he believed her to be HIS Sakura reincarnated-he didn't!-but rather, because he wanted to help her. How long had it been since he'd genuinely wanted to help someone? She deserved so much more than a scummy swordsman like him, but he'd try to live up to her standards.
So he'd shrugged and said:
"Your will be done-
"Stop daydreaming and get out here already, Saber!"
'Why did I agree to this again? Oh, right. Because I'm an idiot.'
A lone blue eye drifted open irritably as Shinji's abrasive voice called out to him in the waning light. With a long suffering sigh born of dealing with entirely too many fools for one lifetime, Naruto reluctantly roused himself from thoughts and willed his body to manifest. Materializing from the aether in a shower of golden dust, he answered the boy's call. Slowly. If the brat was going to be an ass about this, then he saw no need to make nice with him. In fact he was debating killing him outright, or just letting a Servant "slip" by when he wasn't looking...
"I was not, "spacing out" as you call it." despite his own inner turmoil, his voice remained as flat as he to stand beside his contractor. "I was meditating."
A blatant lie of course, but he wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of admitting his wrongs. Not to him. Not this...waste of space. As if sensing that thought, the fingers of his right hand twitched. Stubbornly, he stilled them. No. Not yet. As tempting as it might be to gut the little shit, it would arouse suspicion were he to perish by his blade. Best to let someone else do it.
Ah, but his false Master was talking now, and he tried to make sense of the endless animal bleat:
"On what?" the blue-haired boy asked as his Servant stepped past him, only to sulk as the blond ignored him. "Hey! I'm talking to you!"
An irritated snort floated past on the wind. "The past and the folly of boys too big for their britches."
"What did you say?!" Shinji jerked upright. "And call me Master, damnit!"
Shinji Matou wasn't much to look at; and Naruto had the rare privilege of being able to read one's soul. He did not like what he found there. Thin and callow, young and shallow, with grey eyes and blue hair like seaweed. There were redeeming qualities to be sure, but they were so steeped in muck and grime and arrogance as to be missed completely. But he was a patient man; he would give the boy three chances to prove himself. In the span of an hour he'd already wasted two; the first being that they should seek out a Servant once the sun set, not before.
The second was trying to make him eat an innocent's soul. He'd put a stop to that right quick and Shinji wisely hadn't broached the subject again. This idiotic insistence that he call him "Master" was grating on his nerves and moving dangerously close into third strike territory.
Despite his best efforts, a stray muscle jumped in the blond's jaw.
The smile that followed threatened to split his scarred face. "Are you worthy of being my Master?"
Shinj all but sputtered. "Of course, I am-
That same lazy azure orb drifted ponderously over his shoulder to regard his temporary Master for a long, piercing moment. It silenced the runt more than any attack ever could. To his credit, Shinji actually managed to meet his gaze but faltered almost immediately when the blond bared his teeth at him. Naruto noted that as a failure on the boy's part. Lovely. The boy lacked the will to stand strong in the face of adversity. Yet another mark against the Matou. Another reason to kill him.
"As I thought." Turning away from this waste-of-space he focused his attention on the trees beyond, gazing at the rustling leaves in the light of the setting sun. "Now make yourself useful and follow me."
"Why you...?!"
"Yes?" that blazing eye rounded on him again as Naruto turned to face him fully. "Is there something you'd like to say?"
"I...this isn't how its supposed to be!" Shinji quailed, but refused to relent, hands balling at his sides as his Servant waded headlong into the thicket., forcing him to follow "You're supposed to listen to me! I'm to give the orders! Not the other way around!"
A blond brow rose as Naruto peeled back a particularly stubborn branch among branches. "Am I? And what exactly have you done to warrant my respect, Shinji?"
The blue-haired boy jerked back as if he'd been slapped, and not because said branch had just smacked him in the face.
"Respect? I don't under-blech!" his hands flailed frantically, batting leaves out of his face. "What do you mean?"
"Its simple." this time Naruto unbent enough to lift a log out of the boy's path before he could trip on it. "If we're going to work together we need to trust one another. And you have to get rid of that chip on your shoulder, fast. You remind me too much of Sasuke by half, and that's not a good thing."
"Who?"
"Someone I had to kill. Someone you desperately don't want to be." As he looked on, Saber drew a blade and expertly cut through a tangle of vines. "Just listen, will you? Despite appearances to the contrary, I'm actually trying to give you some sound advice here." he paused, allowing Shinji to duck under his arm and the old blade it held for good measure. "Its important that you understand. Regardless of what these titles imply, I'm no servant of yours, anymore than you're a master of me. We're partners in this. Two souls working together to reach the Grail." a pointed look followed. "Do you understand?"
"But you're still my Servant." the boy put in mulishly. "You have to do what I say. Don't you?"
"No." Naruto bit out, fighting down a violent impulse, "I don't. I choose to."
"But I have these Command Spells!" he cried out, clutching at him.
"Which you received from Sakura." Naruto pointed out.
Shinji absolutely hissed; looking back Naruto couldn't have known it, but that was the worst possible thing to say. The one trigger that was sure to set the boy off. That bitch. He hated her. Loathed her. She was nothing to him. No one. Just something to be used. Any goodwill he might've built up dissolved in that instant. Had he known the horrors the boy had inflicted on Sakura he would've struck then and there; lopped the boy's head off without a second thought. Sadly, he did not, so some semblance of sense stayed his hand and stilled his sword.
"She isn't your master now!" he held up the Book of False Attendant, granted him by Zouken. "I am! You owe me your allegiance! I'll make you obey if I have to!"
Another branch snapped back, striking the blustering boy in the face with a harsh crack.
"Don't be an idiot." Naruto reprimanded. "You can command me three times. What happens then?"
"Sh-Shut up!"
"So we're back to slinging threats, are we?" the whiskered warrior clicked his tongue. "I don't know what I expected."
The disappointment in that lone eye was almost too much to bear; if only because it reminded him of the same expression Zouken had given him all his life. Not pity. Scorn. As if he'd had such high hopes for him, only to have them dashed. Somehow, losing Saber's trust stung more than he would've liked to admit. He knew Sakura's-his!-Servant was strong, there could be no doubting that. But unlike a certain Rider, this one wasn't willing to tolerate him overlong for her sake. This one was all too willing to talk back, and as he'd proven earlier, strike him when necessary. Oh. He understood now. This one was still loyal to Sakura. Yes. That must be it. Was she laughing at him even now? Mocking him? It galled Shinji. Infuriated him to no end...!
"I said be quiet!"
...as you wish." came the reply.
Naruto bit back a groan but kept forging ahead, forcing him to keep apace lest he be lost in the dying light. So close! He'd been so close to a breakthrough. Now he wanted to beat the boy's brains in. Or, barring that, give him a good hard shake. Maybe that would knock some sense into him. Did he truly not comprehend the value of this lesson? Moreover, what he was trying to teach him here? If you wanted respect, you had to be worthy of that same respect. You had to earn it. That was the entire purpose of this. How else could they be expected to cooperate with one another? Granted, he didn't want to, but he was at least willing to try for Sakura's sake. But his patience was beginning to fray like an old rope and he could only endure so much.
When they finally reached a clearing he spun, seized Shinji by the collar, and flung him headlong into the dirt.
"ORAH!"
Watching the little idiot skid and skip along the ground gave the scarred blond more relief than a thousand kills. Oh. His head had struck an upturned rock just now. That looked painful. Pity it hadn't finished him off. Just as the boy began to rise, Naruto stepped in and planted a boot against his back, pinning him to the ground.
"Hey! Stop it! I said stop, Saber" the aspiring magus wailed! "What are you doing?!"
"Shinji Matou." the voice rose around him like a death knell. "You fail."
"F-Fail?" he squeaked the word out.
"Precisely."
Just like that, the boot came free and the poor boy scrambled to scrape himself off the ground. Instinctively he readied a retort, some waspish snipe at his Servant's expense. What he found waiting for him there stilled his soul. That lone azure orb wasn't blue anymore; no longer the placid color of endless oceans stretching into the distance. Somewhere between the time he'd been thrown to the ground and trod upon, its color had changed, somehow. Such a simple thing was relatively common in the magus world, but the sight of it stilled him all the same.
It was red.
Scarlet and slitted, the color of fresh blood, glaring at him now as though he were little more than an ant. Not the eye of a man or even a beast, but of something far greater glaring at him.
"What was that for?!"
"Shinji, Shinji, Shinji." with each declaration of his name, Saber shook his head. "I have only had one Master and you are clearly not her." those words slit the throat of his pride, bleeding it more surely than Zouken ever could. "Maybe I was a fool for trying to teach you anything, but now," His head gave a slight tilt, considering him as one would a bug. "Maybe I should just kill you, so I can go back to her."
Shinji stiffened.
"That slut? She's no good for anything but-
Samehada swept up under his chin, cutting him off with a lurch.
"Careful." the words were a purr as the barbed blade brushed against his throat, peeling at his skin. "I may tolerate you for Sakura's sake, but I'm not above letting you have an...accident. This is your last chance." the words damned him. "Keep your mouth shut, don't do anything stupid, and maybe, just maybe I'll keep you alive. For now. But if you make one more mistake...
Thankfully, it never came to that.
Without warning, a sudden surge of prana lit up his senses like wildfire. Coming from the south, but easily noticeable if one knew what to look for. And he was more attuned to nature than most. Shinj never noticed, he just kept braying on like a donkey. Naruto tuned him out and willed his senses to sharpen as his voice faded to dull static. His visible eye began to gleam golden as he tugged on the life of the world; asking, without taking. Offering a silent prayer to the world as he'd been taught in the later years of his life. Recognizing him and the unusual respect he displayed as a proper spirit, it responded happily and granted him all he needed.
After all, even in life Naruto had learned it was always better to ask rather than take. Still, it almost surprised him how...willing the planet was to part with his natural energy.
It beat being actively rejected; he couldn't handle that with Shinji as his Master.
"Oh, thank god." he muttered.
"What was that?"
Naruto choked down the urge to strangle him again. "Nothing."
He'd had to bully Shinji just to come here in the first place, even then it had been like pulling teeth. After all, the boy had unknowingly given him a great boon by changing the battlefield. He'd already refused to eat souls back in the park to increase his power, yet thankfully there was another way to boost his strength. Even in this weakened state-he barely had enough energy to swing a sword with Shinji serving as his Master-he was more than able to draw from the abundant natural energy around him, the better to enhance his body and skills. Presently, he had enough for a good hard fight. Maybe more if he tore off the eye-patch, but that was an event he wished to avoid at all costs.
Thus when the clatter of hooves finally reached his ears, he was all too ready for a fight. One could say he was expecting it, even.
Astride a great white stallion she stormed into the clearing, sending Shinji shrieking for cover.
And by cover, that meant cowering behind his back like a craven.
He was not prepared for her to come galloping in on a horse with her Master clinging to her back for dear life. For it was most assuredly a young woman under that heavy plate. Armor could only hide so much. That she'd charge headlong through the undergrowth was a given considering their distance; she surged towards the two of them, utterly ignoring the possibility that the area might've been booby trapped well beforehand. Not that Naruto would ever do such a thing. He'd sadly had that skill sealed upon being summoned as a Saber; even had he deigned to do so, something told him she would've blitzed through them regardless.
"She's here!" Shinji's voice muffled itself against his back. "Don't let her kill me, Saber!"
"Will you shut your fool mouth?" Naruto hissed and hefted his sword. "You're a man, aren't you? Grow a spine!"
Shinji only clung to him tighter.
With a long-suffering sigh he stood fast as she rode around them.
Had he known her, he might've compared her appearance to that of a young girl named Artoria, but with more mature features. Clad in silver-blue armor that bore a great flowing cloak alongside a stern helmet carved to resembling a fierce lion with a mane, he didn't get a good look at her...at first. Imagine his surprise then, when she reached up and tore the helmet away from her face. Though she'd tied her long hair in a bun, she still projected an earnest aura despite the golden crown atop her head; indeed, those emerald eyes were full of life and emotion, yet composed. His gaze strayed to the weapon clutched in her right hand, a pale shaft of brilliance bound by white chords. It seemed to pulse softly as he looked at, responding to a kindred spirit.
The weapon...Lancer. She had to be. Or was she a Rider?
Thankfully, the Servant confirmed his suspicions not a moment later.
"Ho, there! Well met, fellow Servant!" she called out, restraining her mount as it reared. "I am Lancer! Might thou be of the Saber class?"
Naruto felt his mouth twitch in the beginnings of a grin.
There was something charming about her archaic speech; something that put a smile on his face. It almost felt familiar-as though he'd heard it another life-centuries past. Like seeing a long lost friend for the first time in years. No, more than that...but he couldn't rightly put his finger on it. Slinging Samehada's sheathed sword against his shoulder
"Well, if its classes were on about, you've got the right of it." smirking, he sketched a shallow bow and responded in the same, flowing speech. "I'm definitely Saber."
"Excellent!" A brilliant smile bloomed on that angelic face. "I have done battle with a dishonorable fiend already. It is fitting to see someone who stands his ground. I like that. Will you face me?"
A blond brow rose.
"You're a bold one, aren't you?"
Lancer sniffed, but her smile didn't wane. "I simply wish for a fair fight. An honorable duel," she clarified at his pensive expression. "Surely you can at least grant me that, Saber?"
Despite his best efforts, a short bark of laughter escaped the whiskered warrior.
"Fine, but don't cry when you lose, Goldilocks."
Gods, why did this feel so familiar?
Fun wasn't something one considered when wading into a life-or-death battle, but this banter...talking with her...it put a smile on his face.
Honor meant less than spit to him, but he had no intention of denying Lancer the battle she sought. Now if only her Master would looking at him as though he'd seen a ghost. The look rather reminded him of the first time he'd seen Zabuza; that ashen face, those wide eyes. He wasn't trying particularly hard to intimidate anyone. On the contrary, he was quite content at the moment. Perhaps his presence was simply that oppressive against humans as a whole. Hmm. Being on the other side of that horrified stare was enlightening.
Hmm. He'd have to remember this feeling.
Of course, Shinji chose that moment to start squawking again. "EMIYA?! Is that you?!"
This in turn riled up Lancer's Master all the more. "Shinji?! What the hell are you doing here?!"
Definitely some history there to be sure, but Naruto didn't care a wit for it. He only had eyes for the woman before him, and she him. Those wide green eyes were locked on him the moment they encountered one another on the battlefield. He watched her gently nudge her Master down from her mount's back and he promptly did the same for Shinji...though less gently. With a growl he shook himself free from the seaweed-haired boy and thrust him forward.
"You're giving me a headache!" when his Master tried to retreat he received a harsh chop to the head for his efforts. "Stand up already!" Naruto roared! "Fight your own battles!"
"B-B-But...!"
"I'm not telling you to fight Lancer! Fight her Master!"
Shinji perked up.
"Thy Master speaks the truth, young one." Lancer's voice rose in agreement as she prodded her own contractor forward with the butt of her spear. "Mine is more than capable of facing you in single combat. Is that not why we have assembled here?"
The boy known to him now as Emiya gave her a flat look of disbelief, but Naruto was more than happy to seize the opportunity.
"You heard her, runt." A hard shove sent him stumbling forward. "Go. Fight your friend. Try not to die." Samehada sang in his grasp as he leveled it forward. "This is my fight."
Shinji seemed to recover a bit at that.
What was he so afraid of? It was only Emiya. What could he possibly do? He wasn't a magus, not in a true sense of the word. He however, still had the book. Yes. He could use the shadow spell from that to kill him, at the very least. No...anyone in his way would die. Even a former friend. He could do this. He would do this. Not just for his wish, but for his ego as well; to prove that he wasn't a failure. Now that he knew he wouldn't have to fear Lancer's spear at his back, he felt almost...bold. Confident, even. Of course he did. He would only feel such when he was facing someone he thought he could beat.
"C'mon then, hero." he sneered the word, pawing at his Book of False Attendant like a lifeline. "Lets see what you're made of."
...I don't want to fight you, Shinji."
"Don't, or can't?"
"If it makes you feel any better, he tried to make me swallow the soul of some human girl. " Naruto called out with deliberate ease, despite knowing his words would land his faux-Master in a world of trouble. Shinji felt all the color drain from his face at what followed. "I think her name was...Tiger-something or other? I refused of course, but it really makes him a bit of a sleaze, doesn't it?"
Shirou's gaze turned vengeful.
Just like that, the confidence guttered out in Shinji. "Saber?! You traitor!"
Something hardened in Shirou's eyes, but Naruto didn't deign to listen to his response nor Shinji's shriek. Perhaps, had he done so, he would've heard something more interesting. Alas, he did not; by the time Shirou spun to attack Shinji he was already striding forward, heedless of his Master slinking off deeper into the woods. Credit where it was due, Lancer didn't spare her precious Master a second glance. She either had faith in him, or was too eager to do battle. He couldn't help but wonder which.
"You're not worried about him?"
"Shirou is an adequate Master and an excellent cook." the buxom blond declared from atop her steed. "I have full confidence in his skills."
Naruto blinked. "Can't help but notice you mentioned the cooking bit."
"A-And what of it?" she sputtered. "My opinion hasn't changed, no, not in the least!"
Was that a touch of heat in her cheeks just now? No. Surely not. Gods. She wasn't blushing...she actually was.
Naruto palmed his face, and his resolve faltered, if only for a moment. Despite being a grown woman, there was just something so...childish about her expression just now. She'd struck him as the painfully honest sort to begin with but this...this was just too painful. He almost couldn't bear to swing his sword at someone who genuinely appeared to be such a purehearted and genuinely good person. Well, in for a penny in for a pound. Might as well press the advantage while he could.
"I don't suppose I could convince you to get off the horse?" he asked her plaintively. "Its not really fair for me, y'know?"
Lancer's gaze turned heated-likely from his unintentional insult-but she made no attempt to oblige him. Fair enough. He'd expected that.
"And why should I grant your request?"
...I'd really rather not kill your horse if its all the same to you." he retorted honestly, stilling the ever-restless Samehada in his grasp. "Killing such a noble animal, no matter the cause, just feels...cruel."
Lancer actually paused to consider his words.
"As you wish."
To his initial dismay she did just that; both dismissing and dismounting said steed as she slid from its fading back to land before him with a solid clunk. Her lance pulsed again, burning brightly in the gloom. He raised his own weapon to meet it. There it was again, the fleetest feeling of nostalgia-as though he'd crossed blade with another such being before-gone as he grasped at it. Shaking himself and a passing sense of sorrow, he took a step forward. Then another. And another. By the third, Artoria was moving to meet him.
That ancient, peerless lance was now a star in her grasp, almost painful to gaze at. "Here I come, Saber!"
He dropped into a low stance, scraping the ground with Samehada. "Bring, it Lancer!"
All the world became motion.
Looking back, he couldn't say who reached the other first; only that someone did. At the last instant he shifted Samehada to his right hand called the Head Cleaver to his left; it proved a wise decision given that he nearly took Lancer by surprise and cleaved that pretty little head from her shoulders. Instead of spearing him through the heart as she'd intended, the blond found herself forced to abort her charge and seek shelter behind her almighty lance as his assault nearly hammered through her guard. Riposting, she danced away, leaving the looming weapons to crash headlong into the soil underfoot.
Undaunted, he spun and used the weight of Samehada as a springboard, launching himself back at her like a missile.
For her part Artoria didn't waver in the face of what she must've seen as a suicidal charge; she merely twirled her lance and stepped in to meet him in a blistering exchange of blows.
Sword met spear and neither yielded; rather they collided again and again until one finally tasted blood.
Her weapon found his face and tore a thin incline against his forehead before she realized she'd been had. It wasn't a charge at all, but rather a feint, one he ducked under and struck upward with his right blade. Caught at an awkward angle she could only try and angle her body away from the barbed blade.
She did not entirely succeed.
Lancer must've realized what he intended, but by then he was already upon her, Samehada swooping down like a hungry shark. Her serene visage narrowed in a grimace as the barbed blade punctured her armor and bit into her side; a raging blast of light burst from her spear and scorched his thigh before he pivoted aside, leaving the beam to gouge a dint in the soil he'd just stood on. So confounded was he by this sudden use of artes thathe nearly failed to dodge in time when she reared back and flung another blast at him. He batted it back with his blade, sending her tumbling into the dirt.
"Beams?!" he coughed, waving a plume of smoke from his lone eyes. "Seriously?! What kind of Lancer are you?! Moreover, what kind of lance is that?!"
This time, he noted a wariness to Lancer as she picked herself up, as she circled him. Not anger, but a touch of...concern.
"And yet you wield dual swords." the way her brow furrowed, it was almost an accusation. " 'Tis hardly fair."
"Not quite." Naruto straightened with a bemused hum, somewhat pleased by her newfound hesitation as she worked to maintain the distance between them. No doubt she was looking for an opening. "I wielded many swords while I was alive. In my current state-thanks to a certain Seaweed brat!-these are the best I can muster at the moment." Perhaps it was foolish of him to be so honest with an enemy Servant, but he'd always been honest; even as a Servant that malady hadn't left him, much to his chagrin.
She shared a grimace with him as their shared circle drew closer still. "I...understand. I cannot claim to be at my peak either. Far from it, in fact."
"I thought you said that boy of yours was an adequate Master?"
"He is." her head bobbed as the distant sounds of battle rang further down the path. "I simply require more mana than most...and he is not the archetypal magus."
His head bobbed. "I know that feeling. I've got a bit of a handicap myself. Not sure how long I'll be able to keep this up."
Respect dawned in those emerald orbs. "Then I shall not shame you by holding myself back!"
He surged in to meet her rush. "Wouldn't respect ya you if you did!"
He struck low, and she swung high.
In a single fluid motion his fellow blond parried and he in turned parried that parry. Armor bent and flesh buckled as each drew blood, but never said the world yield. Naruto caught himself grinning, and in turn glimpse a small smile from his opponent as they Once more their world dissolved into a storm of light and steel, near-divine weapons snarling against one another in a sinful sursurus of sparks. Her footwork proved half a beat too slow and he struck out with Samehada, nearly hobbling her and forcing her to leap over the barbed blade before deflecting the other.
"You're too slow with all that armor." he taunted.
Wrong thing to say, that.
"Ho?"
Rather than rise to his retort, Lancer retaliated by planting her feet and banishing more of her armor in an attempt to more more freely. Unfortunately in doing so, she revealed the flattering figure lurking beneath clad in little more than thin blue cloth and a red mantle. Saber felt his unsealed eye blink and despite years worth of training, caught himself staring for the merest of moments at her tall, curvaceous figure. Among...other things.
Holy hell, you could balance drinks on those.
"Why do you stare overlong, Saber?" Lancer inquired innocently.
...I'm not sure where to look." he confessed. Was she really that naive?!
"Very well!" Heedless of his reaction, she surged in to meet him. Then I shall come to you! Prepare!"When she lunged at him again, he thought himself prepared; he was not. Rhongomyniad's speed had him on the back foot . Further back. Yet further still. With each strike he found himself retreating, until a stray thrust wrenched Samehada from his hand and forced him to cling to the Head Cleaver and fought for his dear life. Every attack found itself redirected, every assault flung back in his face as he slipped further
Damnit.
With each blow he felt his strength waning, more and more effort put into his blocks. His arms rattled against each successive hit. Sage chakra could only sustain him so long, and Shinji had no mana to give him. For all of his power, he simply couldn't fight if he lacked a steady supply of energy. Were he alive, he could've raged across the forest for hours. Days even. But as a Servant...well. He was being painfully reminded of those limits at this very moment. Still, he would go down fighting if nothing else, even if it meant-
"Saber!" Shinji's wrenching wail cut through the beautiful battle euphoria that had been building to this very moment. "Kill Emiya! Kill him now! Don't let him hurt meeeeeeeee!"
The weight of a Command Spell crashed down on him and Naruto snarled as he struggled against it. How in the hell had he screwed that up?! His guard faltered and he could only snarl as Lancer's weapon slipped through to pierce the point of his shoulder. That did it; the little shit wouldn't live to see the next sunrise. His death might wound Sakura, but it would be for the best.
But moreso, the little bastard had dissapointed him.
'Damnit. I warned him.'
With a blinding flourish he summoned Samehada and slammed it into the ground between him and Lancer. It did little more than startle her, causing the buxom blond to bound back half a pace. Saber made no attempt to pursue. A lone hand rose, awkwardly scratching the back of his head when she made no move to continue their fight.
"I'm terribly sorry about this, Lancer." he paused, sheepishly scratching at the back of his head. "But I'm going to have to put our fight on hold."
"Fiend!" she bristled. "I will not simply let you attack-
"I promise, I have no intentions of attacking your Master." his blade snapped up to intercept her lance with a shriek of steel, but only just. "You have my word. I just need to shut mine up. You're more than welcome to follow. If I take his life then you can take my head."
...as you will."
He didn't walk after his Master; he veritably bolted toward him.
What he found there nearly drew a smile from him; or it would have, if he hadn't been so utterly furious. Not only had Shirou procured a broken branch from somewhere, but he'd managed to reinforce it and beat poor Shinji half to death with it. No wonder he'd called from him. Kid's face was a ruined mass of swollen bruises as he lay against the ruined trunk of a tree, and Emiya looked keen on finishing the job. Naruto was rather inclined to let him, were it not for the Command Spell forcing his movements.
"Saber!" the Matou boy cried, seeing him! "There you are! Quick! Save me!"
...as you command, Master." Naruto muttered crossly.
By the time he realized his peril, it was too late.
"Emiya!" he bellowed. "Duck!"
The boy obeyed.
With nary a sound the Head Cleaver re-materialized and found itself lobbed forward in the same instant; a whirring discus of grey steel slashing into the Book of False Attendant, and then the arm holding it. Undaunted by this brief resistance it blazed onward to crunched headlong against a tree. An awful beat of silence pushed itself between the unlikely quartet. All the while this fool Master gaped at the severed stump that had once been his arm, ending well below the elbow in visceral red relief. As he continued to look on on in cold co the amputated limb sailed overhead and landed at Shirou's feet with sickening squelch.
The sound seemed to reactivate Shinji.
"Ha?"
Blood gushed from the wound like a faucet, yet he only continued to stare at the mangled lip in mute disbelief.
The screaming came all at once. "Saber?! What are you doing?! You idiot! I'm your Master!"
Naruto exhaled slowly.
"As I said before, I have only ever had one Master since I was summoned. And you are clearly not her." as the boy shrank back from him, he drew his blade anew. "I tried to teach you, boy. I tried to guide you down the right path. You did not listen." his tongue clicked in mild admonishment as the boy skittered back on all fours like a drunken spider. "You did not learn. I offered you sound advice. You rejected it. I told you the best way to fight, and you cast it aside out of reckless pride."
His blade had begun to hum audibly now.
"Worse, you tried to make me kill an innocent!" That ghastly voice shook the world like thunder and the blue-haired boy squealed like a struck pig, cowering. "HOW DARE YOU!"
Emiya dithered. "Should...should we just leave, or-
A lone blue eye rounded on him. "Stay."
Shirou gulped, but obeyed.
"No, MASTER," Saber raised his sword, his voice dripping with vitriol as he returned his attention to Shinji, "I don't think I'll be feeling any guilt about this whatsoever. Such a shame that an enemy Servant got to you before I could save you. Sakura will be so upset. Such a tragic accident, truly. She will mourn you, I think." he advanced on the bloodied boy, hefting his blade with eerie grace. "But she will be a better person with you gone from this world. And in that, your death will serve some purpose. Take some meager satisfaction in that, if you will."
Then he moved.
And Shinji squealed.
"Nononononono PLEASE-
"You're shit at dying, you know that?!"
With a roar, Saber brought the blade down on Shinji's head with all the force of an avalanche.
No sooner had he done so-no sooner did he feel the tenuous connection between them snap-than his world burned with prana. It flooded him from head to toe, refreshing his beleaguered body, soothing the minor wounds he had endured at Lancer's hands. It felt like waking up from a long nap. Only Sakura's sorrow shackled him, kept him from laughing outright. She'd be upset about Shinji of course, but she had no way of knowing-proving either!-that he'd been the one to deal the final blow. He'd never admit it, even if she forced him to use a Command Spell. His will remained ironclad, and he waited for her to call him back, to ask for an explanation...
"Ah, much better!" the words were a roar. "I feel alive again!"
...it never came.
When he turned, he found Lancer wasn't smiling, not anymore.
"Why did you slay him?"
"Because he interfered in our duel." Naruto shot back. "Because he was an idiot; a stupid boy who grew too big for his britches. Because I had to. I'll not apologize for it, if that's what your asking. My true Master may not like what I did, but she'll thank me by the time this war is done. Now then! I'm feeling much better, Lancer. Care to continue our duel? To pickup where we last left off?" He raised his blade, beaming with an air of bloody menace. It won't go the same way as before, I assure you."
For a moment, it looked like she wouldn't, as if she'd simply retreat.
In the end, she readied her lance and pushed Shirou back.
...if you speak the truth, I will assess it for myself."
Grinning like a shark, Naruto beckoned.
His smile was pure menace.
"Come at me."
A/N: Ho boy.
Two powerful Servants going at it, and Shinji's dead. Boo hoo. Don't think anyone will mourn him. Although Naruto did TRY to knock some sense into him. Note to future Masters: if you tell Saber to kill an innocent, he's going to turn around and kill you. At the end of the day Saber!Naruto is actually quite polite...unless he's force to fight.
Now I'm sure many are wondering who has what in this war, so here's some clarification:
Sakura= Naruto (SABER)
Illya= ? (BERSERKER)
Shirou= Artoria (LANCER)
Bazett= ?
Rin= Emiya (ARCHER)
Zouken= ?
Souchiro= ?
Kirei= Gilgamesh (Previously the Archer of the last war)
There.
Three empty spots yet remain.
Vote on 'em if ye daaaaaaaaaaaaaaare~!
Let it not be said that I don't listen to the fans.
Gods know A Most Unlikely Lancer got me chewed the hell out for making Naruto a girl. I ain't doing that shit again. I'll be honest. I'm a little upset. I don't get paid to do this, and my writing time is all but reduced to a few hours a day. So when I have people calling me all sort of ghastly names...well. A man gets a bit angry. (EDIT) Thankfully I've had most of them taken down by now, but those words still linger and I admit, my enthusiasm is a bit...colder now.
Now back to the 'ol double shift, once again, with only an hour in between.
Looking forward to reading your reviews when I get back.
So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review, Would You Kindly?
And enjoy the previews!
Potential ones, at that.
Which do you like?
And now as promised and hinted in "A Most Unlikely Assassin" Avenger (Gorgon) makes her debut next chapter:
Hmm, wonder who her master is?
*whistles innocently*
AND GUESS WHO?!
(Previews!)
"No no no! You're not listening! You don't understand! Chacha is Chacha! She doesn't need to be anyone else!"
Illya groaned.
...why does she have to be my Servant?"
Gilgamesh grinned.
"Ho? You're willing to face me?"
...for some reason, I feel like I have to stop you."
Harsh laughter greeted him. "Such spirit! Do entertain me...while you can."
He retaliated by tearing off the eyepatch; his reward was the widening of those red eyes as he revealed what lay beneath.
Then he found himself buried in a wave of scarlet mana.
"Why defend her?!"
He didn't wave in the face of their fury.
...because I made a promise." then he struck back.
Gorgon snarled.
"I'll take my time with you."
She wasn't prepared for him to sheathe his blade.
"Sorry, but for some reason I just can't bring myself to hurt you anymore tonight."
Least of all for him to simply turn his back and walk away from her. For that was precisely what he did.
...what are you doing?!" Medusa sputtered, rearing back on her tail. "Stop! Come back here! Get back here right now!"
R&R~! =D