A/N Happy Football Day...or days, these days! We're winding up both seasons and it sucks, but we'll enjoy the playoffs, right? Congrats to fans of the Panthers and Ravens for yesterdays wins. Gotta admit I expected more from the Steelers, but I was worried about the lack of Bell. And it did hurt them, a lot. Ill timed injuries, the worst!

Congrats also to the Duck and Buckeyes fans. My dad and brother are on cloud 9, for now! Seriously, how a team beats Bama with a 3rd string QB still baffles me, but there's magic there. And yes, I'm aware that my morons finally lost a game. Apparently people think this is funny to tease me with, for reasons I don't understand because I don't think I'm one of those obnoxious fans that rubs people's faces in it. Maybe I am and just don't know? You tell me! I didn't watch so I didn't have to get too mad about it, so there's that at least.

On the bright side for me, my Bucs managed to lose again last week, though they tried far too hard not to to make me happy. I didn't have to go car shopping (thank God because they were there for 3 hours) so I watched at home waiting for the call to head to bros. Got it around 3:30 and there I was in the car listening to the end of the game rooting for my own team to blow it. I legitimately cheered when McCown threw the pick. And I'm not lying when I say that when Jimmy Graham got hurt, I immediately yelled, "Throw it to Colston" which they did, for a TD. I fistpumped. haha I probably looked like an insane person cheering away in my car, against my own team, but it had to be done.

Anyway, good to luck to all of you with surviving teams! I'm just gonna enjoy the little bit of season we have left and start looking ahead to next. haha Go figure! This week features an answer on a question some of you have, along with the return of the furball. She's baaaaack! I hope you enjoy and I'll see you next week!

Getting Blitzed Chapter 18

It seemed like the girls were gone for-fucking-ever. Of course, maybe part of that was the company I kept. Jasper and Emmett kept tossing baby name suggestions at me, which was driving me nuts. The kid wasn't even a kid yet; how in the hell could we name it? And I certainly had no names picked out. Maybe Reed Girl did. Didn't some girls know their baby names before they even had a boyfriend? Like Shorty and her wedding. I bet Shorty had her kids names all picked out.

"What does Shorty want to name your kids?" I asked, stopping Jasper after his latest suggestion of Marley-after his hero, Bob, of course. Not gonna happen.

He looked blank. "I don't know. How do I not know that? She's got to have names picked out, doesn't she? Wait, you can't use Marley. I want to use Marley. If Wife approves."

Like we were going to use his stupid-ass names anyway. Like I was ready to think about names. At least he was now thinking about his own kid's names, rather than mine. My kid. Fuck. I'd never get my head around it.

What I needed, more than anything, was two fucking minutes to myself so I could have the freak out that everybody kept expecting me to have. How could I have it with all of them watching and waiting for me to say and do dumb things? And I really fucking wanted to, but I couldn't. Yet. This fucking sucked.

My mother had called or texted approximately fifty times with updates on dress selection, time lines, and meetings she had planned with various places in town, as well as closer to Tallahassee. Since Reed Girl couldn't take a whole week off school, we'd be having our honeymoon in our own apartment. Not exactly what I had in mind, but at least I'd have some time with my girl. As soon as the season was done, we'd take a couple of weeks somewhere to be alone. That I would fucking see to, pronto. Give us something to look forward to while the chaos continued around us.

"I don't see what's wrong with Emmett," my brother whined, still pouting over the fact that I wasn't naming my kid after him.

"First of all, if you want an Emmett, have your own. I'm not naming my kid after you. Besides, you already have a cat named after you."

"Yeah, a lame cat." Suddenly my brother burst out laughing. "Holy shit! What's Rainbow going to do about this new addition? Don't cats kill babies? I totally wouldn't put it past her."

Fucking hell. More shit to worry about. Rainbow wouldn't…would she?

"Cats don't kill babies. That's an old wives' tale," Jasper announced.

Thank fuck. If there was even a chance of that, Reed Girl would want to get rid of Rainbow. And I just couldn't. I needed Rainbow. Now more than ever, if I was being honest. I wanted her here right now so I could let out all this shit that was building up inside of me before I exploded.

"She needs to be up on her shots, which of course she is, because there are diseases that can be passed back and forth. And Bella can't clean the litter box. Apparently there's something called toxoplasmosis that can affect an unborn baby." Jasper looked up from his phone, which was apparently dialed in to all things baby. "The box is on you, Edward."

I shrugged. It wasn't like that was an issue. I'd had Rainbow alone for a few months now. I cleaned the box when I had to. Luckily, the housekeeper did a lot of that shit these days. I'd just make sure that Reed Girl didn't think about going near it.

"I still say Rainbow is gonna be pissed. She'll have to give up her room for the baby, not to mention having to share Edward." Emmett snorted. "Hell is going to rain down on you."

He was probably right. We'd long ago ruled out adding another pet for fear that Rainbow would kill it or at the very least traumatize the fuck out of it. I had a feeling Emmett Junior hid all the time because Rainbow had done something to him. Jasper's stupid cats were too brain dead to be bothered to hide, but they weren't normal either.

"The baby can take the guest room." Rainbow would still have her own room, and all would be well. Wouldn't it? Fuck. There was too much to think about.

"For now. But you can't raise a kid in that slick condo of yours. You need a yard and swing sets and parks and shit." Emmett nodded sagely. "You're going to have to move."

What the fuck? Now I had to move? I had to deal with a hormonal, pregnant fiancée, a wedding, a baby, a cat that might kill said baby, and now I had to fucking move? Not to mention the small task of quarterbacking an NFL team. It was too much. Fuck this noise. I couldn't do it.

I buried my face in my hands just as the door opened.

"Well, it's unbelievable but we just might…" Reed Girl broke off whatever she was saying. "What did you do?" she demanded.

I didn't even have the strength to lift my head to reassure her that I was okay. I wasn't. Apparently I'd never be okay again. Fatherhood. Who the fuck needed it?

"Nothing! We suggested baby names, and Jasper looked up information on whether Rainbow could kill the baby. I still say yes, even though the internet says it's not true. I was just telling Edward that you'd have to move so the kid could have a yard and all that good stuff. He made some strangled noise, and you came in."

"Thanks a lot."

I heard a smacking sound followed by a muffled shout from my brother. "Ow! What? I'm just trying to help, Rosie."

"You moron. He just found out five minutes ago that he was going to be a father. You don't have to have him worrying about swing sets when the baby doesn't even have legs yet."

"But-ow! Okay! Sorry, Edward."

I didn't respond. I felt Reed Girl's hand on my back and leaned into her, pressing my face to her stomach, where my kid was growing. Fucking hell.

"Everybody out. Wait for me downstairs."

"Is Edward going to be okay?" Jasper asked. "I was just trying to help. I told him Rainbow won't hurt the baby and that Bella can't change the cat litter. I didn't mean to make him worry."

"He'll be fine, Jaspy. You were very helpful, I'm sure. We'll just go down and wait for Bella."

Everybody moved out, apologizing along the way. I didn't bother to acknowledge them. I just let Reed Girl stroke her fingers through my hair.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone with them. I wasn't thinking."

Right. Like she needed to add worrying about me on top of her list of shit to deal with. I raised my head and looked up into her concerned brown eyes.

"No big deal. I'm fine."

She let out a short, disbelieving laugh. "Yeah, you look fine. I knew you were handling it way too well."

I was doing my best, damn it. I'd been okay until I'd started to worry that Rainbow would smother Emmett Jasper Cullen in his sleep in our new house in the suburbs with a big backyard and swing set. Fucking hell.

"Well, I'm sorry if it's a little overwhelming that we're having a baby, getting married, and now I have to find a new place for us to live. Not to mention worry about Rainbow killing our kid once we've had it! It's a little bit much to process, along with heading back to Jersey, leaving you behind, and trying to focus on the Raven's defense. Fuck!" My voice had gotten louder with each word.

Reed Girl kept right on running her fingers through my hair, scratching my scalp lightly. She knew that I loved that shit, and yes, sometimes it calmed me down. Not now, though.

"First of all, I'm not sure where you got the idea that you need to find us a new place to live, but you don't. I love our place."

"But there's no lawn for a swing set," I muttered, which made her laugh.

"And we have some time before we need to think about that. There's a park right down the street if we want to take the baby out." There was? Who knew?

"Second of all, Rainbow is not going to kill our baby. She'll love him or her because we'll love him or her and she'll take her cues from us. We'll likely have to introduce her to the idea slowly, but she'll come around, especially if the baby looks like you."

"But there's just so much-"

"Yes, there is. And we have seven months to figure it out. And then plenty of time after that to learn and deal with what comes along. Do you think I'm not overwhelmed?" She shook her head. "I've spent two weeks worrying about telling you about the baby; now I'm jumping straight into wedding planning. All while I'm working on graduating. Not to mention needing to start packing so I can move. Then there's the dream job that I can't take, the well-meaning but annoying and loveable friends and family pushing weddings and now baby stuff, Heidi the whore, being away from you…it's a lot. A whole lot. But I'm trying to take each a step at a time and deal with it."

Shit. She had even more on her plate than I did. And I was making it worse for her. "Is it too much? We could just say fuck it and go down to the courthouse. Or wait. Did I push you into getting married now?"

She smiled. "No. I want to marry you as soon as possible. And I want a real wedding, even if the courthouse would be more convenient. The best part of having well-meaning and annoying family and friends is that they go to bat for you when you need them. Your mother could command an army, I swear it. And Alice is ruthlessly planning every little detail she can. Rose runs interference when she feels they're overwhelming me. Honestly, there's very little I'm going to have to do…or that I'm being allowed to do. Your mother was quite quick to make sure I wasn't on my feet too much, and that I was well fed and hydrated."

Of course she was. My mom could move mountains if she wanted to. "I'm glad they're helping."

"Me too. We couldn't do it without them. I still want to do it, and I know it's not what we planned, but I'm glad I'm going to be your wife soon."

That I could easily agree with. "Me, too, baby." I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my lap. "So, everything is moving ahead?"

She laughed. "At the speed of light. My dress is taken care of. Alterations will start immediately. Rose and Ali have theirs as well-not as much to do there, so it won't be a problem. Our mothers have dresses, and mine is on cloud nine."

I glanced at her.

"I told her about the baby. I'm not sure if she's more excited about the baby or for the fact that you're now tied to me irrevocably, at least financially."

Oh, boy. Fucking Renee. "She said that shit?"

"You know my mother. She has to think like the opportunistic gold-digger she is." Reed Girl shrugged. "She is happy about the baby for the baby's sake, though. That's about all I can ask."

No, it wasn't.

"Besides, your mother will make up for my mother's deficiencies as a grandmother and then some."

That went without saying. "She's probably already bought stuff."

Reed Girl laughed and reached into her purse, pulling out a little bib that said Grandma loves me. Naturally.

"It's safe to say that she's already planning a nursery for one of the guest rooms in her house. She knows that we'll decorate ours ourselves, but I told her she has carte blanche for her place."

Fucking hell. Decorating. More shit to think about.

Reed Girl took my face in her hands. "I know it's a lot to deal with. And I'm sorry that Jasper and Emmett threw extra things at you. But now is not the time to worry about baby names and moving. We'll name our child together, once we know what we're having. And we'll move when we're ready to move. We were never going to stay in our condo forever, but we have some time yet before we need to think about that."

Maybe, but there was plenty of other shit to worry about. "What about your job? You said you had to give it up? Why?"

Reed Girl sighed. "Could I go, play for a couple of months and then take several off to have the baby? Yes, likely. But do I honestly want to go back after he or she is born? And what about traveling? You have to travel for your job, and that's fine, but I can't imagine leaving a baby while I go to various cities throughout the state."

Fuck. "We could hire a nanny." We were doing that shit anyway, weren't we? But Reed Girl shook her head.

"I don't want somebody else raising our baby. I'm not saying we might not get some help. I'd be a fool not to consider that." She laughed. "But I'm not hiring someone to do it all for us." She put a hand on her still flat belly. "I'm excited to be a mom. I'm scared, of course, but I'm excited, too. I grew up with little parental supervision, as you know. I just can't imagine that for our baby."

No. I couldn't really imagine that either. "Are you sure you're okay with it, though? I mean, you worked hard with your music."

She smiled. "I'm sure. I've given it a lot of thought for the past couple of weeks, and I can still have my music. I'm going to throw myself into the Edward Cullen Foundation. So many schools have done away with music and arts programs. I want to bring that back. I think we can do a lot of good."

I had to smile at the happiness I heard in her voice. "You know that I'm more than ready to turn you over to Heidi, who, by the way, should be the least of your concerns." Yes, I'd paid attention to her worries. "Rainbow and I both dealt with her, and Coach knows about it now. If she does anything, again, I swear I'll see to it that she's gone." I wouldn't have Heidi upsetting my pregnant wife. Reed Girl didn't need to factor in to her list of shit on her mind.

"I'm not worried about her. If she comes near you again after the photo shoot, I'll be shocked. But if she does, I'll be there soon and I'll make damn sure she knows that you aren't an option for her."

"I'm not. And I made that pretty clear."

"I know, and I love you for it." She gave me a smacking kiss. "I know that this is unexpected and things are changing, but some of those changes will be for the better. Just you wait and see."

I hugged her to me. "I'm going to hold you to that." Reed Girl's confidence in me, in us, definitely made me feel a bit better.

"Just promise me that you'll talk to me when you're feeling overwhelmed. I don't want you shutting your feelings away just to spare me."

"I wouldn't do that." At her arch look, I laughed. "I wouldn't do too much of that."

"Yes, you would."

True.

"How do you feel about it? Other than freaked out, I mean. That's understandable and normal, under the circumstances."

I couldn't give her all of my feelings, since I didn't know what all of them were and she'd hate a couple of them. But I could give her some. "Honestly, I don't know how I feel. It's just surreal. Like I'm watching a movie of my life instead of living it. I'm just trying to focus on the now and on you." I felt like shit, but it was the truth. "The baby isn't real to me yet. I don't know."

Reed Girl smiled. "Of course it isn't. It's inside of me, and it's only real in concept to me right now. As it grows, it'll get real enough for both of us, I imagine."

Maybe. Hopefully. I didn't fucking know. "Probably. It's easier for me to just to focus on the wedding and stuff, to start."

"That works for me." She buried her head against my neck. "It's time for us to get back to reality, isn't it?"

I glanced at my watch. It was. "I hate leaving you like this."

She laughed. "Like what? Pregnant? It doesn't change anything at this point, Edward. I'm still going to school, playing my music, eating, and hanging with our friends. You're not missing anything."

"Just you," I said.

She kissed my neck before moving up to my lips. "And I'll miss you. But in less than a month, we'll be getting married. That's going to occupy all my thoughts for now."

I'd need to work on that, too. "Don't let them throw too much at you. If they do, call me and I'll set them straight."

"Count on it." She kissed me again. "Count on us. We can do anything. Even be parents. I know we can."

"I believe in you." Not so much me yet, but I knew Reed Girl could handle anything. She handled me, after all.

"And I believe in you." She stood and tugged me to my feet. "Now, it's time for you to go home and tell the other girl in your life all the things you don't want to tell me."

I opened my mouth to argue, but fuck, she was right. "I don't talk to Rainbow about stuff."

She laughed. "Yes, you do. You have from the very beginning. It works for you, and it's cute as hell. Give her a kiss for me."

"It's a head-butt."

She grinned. "Right. Head-butt her, then. Save the kisses for me."

Since it seemed the time, I gave her a big one. "I love you. Thanks for letting me vent a little."

"Always. I love you, too. Thanks for letting me do the same and for not running for the hills when Jasper and Emmett got a hold of you."

"Those assholes. I can't wait until they go through it. I'm going to laugh at their sorry asses."

"As well you should. You'll know the ropes by then and can lord it over them."

Yeah? That was actually pretty cool. "I'll do that." Something to look forward to, at least. That and the wedding. The rest…we'd see.

Xoxoxoxoxox

I hadn't even closed the door before Rainbow launched herself at me. I dropped my shit right there in the hallway and carried her to the couch. She head-butted me the whole way, and when we sat, I buried my face in her soft fur.

"Fuck, Rainbow. Do you know the weekend I had?" I mean, most of it was good. Reed Girl and I had lots of sex, which rocked. And I won, which also rocked. But then, the bomb hit.

She purred and rubbed against my face.

"Sure, you're happy now, but will you be when a baby is in the house? A screaming, pooping, cock-blocking little baby that will take time and attention away from you." I pulled her away from my face and looked her in her golden eyes. "You won't kill it, will you?"

She meowed, which I hoped was a no.

"See, here's the thing. It's not real to me. Like, the concept of the kid, I get. But the reality? That one will be here in seven months? I can't imagine it."

Rainbow just watched me with steady eyes. And because it was her, and she couldn't tell anyone or judge me for it, I admitted the big thing I hadn't admitted to Reed Girl.

"I don't love it yet. Am I supposed to? Like, you hear you're going to be a father… Shouldn't a light switch go off, and you love it before it's even here? It's like that in movies and TV and shit. Reed Girl loves it. I can tell, even though she didn't say so. Does that mean I'll be a shitty parent? Will she love the kid and I won't, so it'll grow up to hate me? See, I'm calling it an it. That's wrong, too, isn't it?"

Rainbow put a paw of support on my cheek.

"And Reed Girl will love the kid more than me. That's just the way it goes. And if she does, will I resent it? Will we fight? Will the kid run away from home and Reed Girl blame me? Maybe she'll leave me because I don't love our kid. She should leave me if I don't. There's something wrong with me, isn't there?"

Rainbow nipped my chin and gave me more head-butts.

"All right, but you're biased. You love me. I get it. And I learned to love you, even though I don't say that shit because you're a fucking cat. So, if I can love you, I'll love my kid eventually, right?"

I looked at Rainbow expectantly, and she meowed again. She agreed. Of fucking course she did. She always agreed with me.

"Reed Girl believes in me. Jasper does. Hell, even Blondie does. And I'm the first to believe in me most of the time, but right now? I don't know. And I hate fucking feeling that way."

I was Edward fucking Cullen. Confidence was my middle name. Where was it now?

"It's going to be okay, right?"

Rainbow meowed again before burrowing into me, burying her head in my neck.

"Yeah, I'd kind of like to hide away right now, too."

Unfortunately, it wasn't an option. I had to unpack, watch some game tape on the Ravens, and hit my e-mail for the billion or so messages that were sure to be waiting from Mom. I wasn't going to let all the wedding stuff fall on Reed Girl's shoulders. She had enough going on in her body without that added to it.

"Do you believe in me, Rainbow?"

She purred and burrowed in closer.

"You'd better be cool with this kid. God knows I'm going to need someone on my side through this whole parenting thing." A parent. Me. It was unbelievable. I was supposed to have years to get used to the idea. Not months.

"We're fucked, Rainbow."

She purred away, blissfully ignorant of what was to come. Lucky cat.

"Your life is going to change just as much as mine is soon enough. You'll see. Reality is coming, Rainbow. For both of us." Hopefully we would both be able to deal. Hopefully.

A/N I hope you won't be too hard on Edward for not loving his baby yet. I feel like unexpected fathers need a little time to come around to that. Insta-love wouldn't feel real to me, at least, though I'm not a dude. Anyway, obviously he'll come around. He's already doing the right things, even if he doesn't think he is! He'll get there!