A/N: Dedicated to the people who drown with their demons.
Wise man close his mouth.
Mad man close his fist.
When anger and fear dries his mouth and constrict his muscles, he refuses to lose control. When the voices begin to blend into screeching screams, he refuses to lose control. When he forces his body to function on just a few hours of sleep, he refuses to lose control. When his muscles scream, when his nerves twitch in agony, when his veins throb in protest he does not lose control.
When the demons claw his mind and attempt to tear away his sanity he slightly whimpers, afraid his control is slipping.
He refuses to lose control.
—S—
The ocean is too heavy, too deep. Endless pits and dark shadows. When Sasuke drowns it's consuming, the immense pressure causes him, forces him to suffocate. The currents are unforgiving and harsh. Muscles ache and bones creak when battled against the tide. The current never recedes while his lifeline shortens.
Please.
Please.
He is an Uchiha. Born and bred. Fear is not forged in their DNA.
Sasuke is terrified. Afraid his lungs would fail him. Afraid the water would consume him. Afraid he would eventually bend and break underneath the pressure.
Inhale
Exhale
Inha-
—S—
Fugaku had seen a perfect opportunity and lunged towards it.
Clan leader; Opportunist, father and manipulator.
The following days become a swirl of chaos. As head of the Uchiha clan, Fugaku arranged a meeting amongst the elders of the clan with one sole purpose; to ban Naruto of all missions including any activities beyond the walls and jurisdiction of Konoha. The fox had unleashed, caused an opening to allow itself to possess the child again.
A risk the Uchiha clan was not willing to take.
The Akimichi and Aburame leaders lie through perfect white teeth and agree with the Uchiha's request. "This is for the boy's best interest" they say.
Itachi knows fear forces people to act unethically.
Shikaku Nara is a clever man- he understands the game of chess and recognizes when a predator sets its trap prior to attacking its prey. He knows the Uchiha's have an obsession with the need to exercise their power, but it is always accompanied with arrogance.
He is hesitant to agree to keep the Kyuubi on lockdown in the meantime. He knows a creature lurks within the walls of the Hokage's son. He knows the creature holds immense power. Yet when he looks at the child, he sees a boy eager to impress his father. A boy shunned by the village due to fear and in return has grown to resent them.
His gaze continues to flicker towards Fugaku during the meeting, only stopping when the man himself stares at him. He later agrees with the majority and states that Naruto Uzumaki no longer has the means to control himself nor the Jinchuriki, hence he does not have permission to leave the confines of the village.
Shikaku still wakes up panting between tangled sheets drenched with sweat. Still remembers the calloused palms covered with dry blood, jaw rigid and open as the Hokage brought Konoha to her knees the night of Kushina's death.
The guilt will eventually consume him. But for now, this is what is best for Konoha and her people.
It will take time to convince himself.
—S—
Itachi disappears during the day, only to return when night ascends.
Sometimes Sasuke envies the moon.
Fingers lace around a pristine tea cup, sipping the warm tea emitting floral scents. He watches from the corner of his vision as his mother bustles around the kitchen. Sasuke has always been aware of his mother's beauty; from her elegantly shaped brows to her high cheekbones. He wonders how someone so beautiful, so untainted could love someone so stained.
The thin shoji slides open dramatically and the air suddenly becomes heavy, an invisible weight straining against his lungs. His mother immediately falls silently, diverging her attention towards the unpeeled potatoes.
Fugaku's silence is both menacing and chilling. The shift in aura immediately disappears once his father leaves the room.
Only then does Sasuke remember to exhale.
"Okaa-san?" his voice cracks slightly, his temple throbbing.
She sighs in exasperation before bowing her head down, her chin leaning against her chest. (Her family is too broken, wilted roses buried in the dirt.)
"Okaa-san?" Sasuke pushes gently while unknowingly gripping the teacup even tighter.
She immediately composes herself before turning to face her son, her lips quirk up in an attempted effort to smile, instead her upper lip merely twitches.
"Sasuke" she breathes out.
(She knows he will have scars.)
"Your father has found it best that you no longer attend missions with your team for the moment, not until things settle down"
The teacup shatters underneath his grip.
Mikoto reaches out, pale fingers stroking his cheek.
He is a puppet dangling on loose strings.
—S—
The following days pass and Sasuke remains hidden behind large concrete walls covered with the clan's crest. He loses track of time, daylight morphs into night as the weeks become a blur. He spends nights twitching and peeling the skin around his nails. The tide continues to increase and Sasuke knows it's only a matter of time before he begins to drown.
He passes the clan's library, a room with stone walls and wooden floors. He has only stolen brief glances when the breeze causes the door to creak open, for it has always been forbidden for him to enter.
Itachi is an exception. (Itachi is the one with the crown.)
The door beckons him, urges him to open and enter, to consume information and uncover secrets. But he remains loyal to his clan and his father. Fugaku's Sharingan flares to life in the depth of his mind, the fear alone forces him to shut down his curiosity permanently.
"You need to start attending missions again Itachi, you cannot suddenly dismiss missions when Sasuke scratches himself"
He freezes when he hears his name, an unwanted chill travels upwards towards his skull.
His father is hostile. Sasuke can almost hear his jaw cracking in anger.
"You know it was more than that. Danzo does not suspect anything, Shisui completed the mission successfully."
He senses his brother anger, hidden behind walls and locked doors.
"You spoil him. Both you and Kakashi, don't think I haven't noticed, he's a fucking Uchiha. He should be able to-"
"He nearly died! The only person who had survived such an attack is Orochimaru! A god damn Sannin!"
Itachi's breathing is harsh. Sasuke can envision the lines between his brows deepening.
"Don't you care? Don't you have a sense of-"
Crack
The sound of bark crushing echoes throughout the household. Sasuke freezes. His mind screaming at him to flee but his body remains stiff as if rooted to the very ground beneath him.
"I grabbed your brother's dead weight from Kakashi's arms. It was I who saw him on the verge of death. Know your place, Itachi Uchiha."
The silence is loud and Sasuke does not dare to breathe. There's a shifting of limbs, the floor creaking beneath a heavy weight.
Cotton grazes smooth skin.
"Your ANBU duties will commence in 72 hours."
Breathe.
When his father sends one of the maids to fetch him, it sparks the fear in his chest. Her smile is gentle, lines forming at the corners of her mouth. "Your father requests your presence in his office"
She gently places her palm on his shoulder reassuringly.
Sasuke fidgets underneath his father's intense stare, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Fugaku is a man who radiates power and demands respect. There is an aura that surrounds him that causes younger children to stare in awe. There is a shift in the wind when his presence is known in the village, the uneasiness amongst the civilians is evident.The authority his father releases is thick and heavy, it wraps around Sasuke's mind and forces his gaze to remain on the carpeted floor.
Moments pass before his father shifts a pile of paperwork to the side of his desk.
"I spoke to Hatake today, you will no longer be participating in any activities concerning Team Seven"
Something pierces his chest. It twists and groans until it's buried to the hilt. In the distance he hears a low drumming sound. His lungs begin to fill with water.
Sasuke stares at him in disbelief, lower jaw unclenched.
"W-what?" he stutters.
Fugaku's arrogance is a blanket that conceals all the cracks and secrets within himself. The darkness he consumes is a fracture of the dreams that torment his mind. He remains steady, a sturdy wall that defends what is rightfully his.
Mikoto is a woman who endures. She washes dirty plates, changes crinkled sheets and wipes accumulating dust. Her husband creates a fantasy like world where the game for power is a smooth journey. He envisions a day will come where the Uchiha's will fulfil their rightful place by the Hokage, even if the compound is located far east, furthest from the village. Isolated and alone.
Always alone.
She hovers near the door, fingers intertwined with each other. Fugaku's gaze flickers to her silhouette. Sasuke immediately turns and for a brief moment Mikoto sees her son's mask slip. For the first time in years, she sees the real Sasuke.
"Team Seven no longer exists."
It takes all of Mikoto's self-control to not scream right then and there. She wants rip her hair and yell until her throat is coarse. She knows her husband's bluntness and lack of emotion is making this much more difficult than it needs to be.
"Sasuke" she says between a forced smile "it's for the-"
He grits his teeth in an effort to keep silent as a surge of anger rises in his chest. A bitter taste flares in the back of his throat as he struggles to keep his dinner down. His rage churns and bubbles while begging for destruction. His wrath consumes all rationality as ferocious waves begins to engulf his sanity.
He holds his breath as his body submerges underneath the tide, thrashing his legs in an attempt to rise above the water. His lungs burn as they beg for oxygen, head throbbing.
He is drowning.
"How do you know what's best for me?" he hisses at his mother, nails digging into his palm.
Fugaku shifts in his seat. "That is your mother you are speaking to"
Sasuke twirls in order to face both parents. They are stones that endure hurricanes and forest fires, both are jagged and rough. "How could you?" he pushes.
"Sasuke, please" Mikoto pleads. She pleads like she did when she begged Fugaku not to harm Itachi. She pleads like she did to the elders of the clan when they attempted to take Itachi from her while he was still suckling her breast.
(She knows pleading is useless, yet she continues.)
Fugaku is man of pride. It's his pride that allows him to snap.
"You heard me." he hisses, face hardening.
No. No.
Sasuke is a self-repairing puppet. There are strings weaved in his mind and in his soul. He knows it will take him years to untangle himself from the webs. It wears him down and engulfs the fraction of sanity left.
His façade finally crumbles. There is something in his blood, something crawling. His veins are on fire as his vision momentarily darkens. His father is the gasoline. His mother is the wind.
He briefly notices his mother's jaw clenching and unclenching. He witnesses the fear in her eyes, watches as she attempts to approach him. But Sasuke is numb. His senses abandon him as he becomes an empty shell.
Drowning.
"No" he whispers. Bile burns the back of his throat as the current grows stronger but Sasuke holds on. His strings loosen.
Fugaku suddenly stands, causing piles of paperwork to flutter around the room. There is a bitter taste in the air as Sasuke naturally takes a step back.
"Remember that before anything, you are an Uchiha. You will not defy orders and you will not argue back!"
Maybe it's his father's spinning Sharingan or maybe it's the way his outrage has caused his mother to stand between the both of them, either way it causes the fear in him to thicken and fold.
"Fugaku" Mikoto is stern. She is a boulder between two raging oceans; she will protect what is hers.
"You defend his arrogance and disrespect?" he hisses back at his wife.
Mikoto remains firm "He is yet to learn, your own father told you that a Shinobi must be-"
"Do not twist this into one of your philosophical lessons! He needs discipline!"
She does not dare to argue, instead she remains standing, her posture rigid as clenched fists hide behind her back.
"Move" Fugaku's Sharingan is spinning again, a kaleidoscopic of crimson.
"No"
His father grabs her by the wrist before single-handedly pushing her towards the wall. In a flash, Sasuke is between the two, his own Sharingan spinning to life.
"You have no right" he seethes through clenched teeth.
Fugaku is a man of power. He is the Wicked Eye Fugaku. He wields Katanas and rises shinobis. He unites clans and moulds the best of Shinobi's, Itachi is proof.
"You dare activate our bloodline in my presence?"
Sasuke knows his fear is evident, yet he remains rooted. The two tomoes of his Sharingan spinning wildly. His father's stare rips through him and only then does he witness the Mangekyou's true form.
"Fugaku" his mother's voice cracks. Sasuke is surprised when he sees his mother's eyes gleaming red. He reminds himself that his mother is a true Uchiha.
Sasuke does not dare to breathe. The air is heavy and his father's sudden rage is causing the room to spin.
"Mikoto. This will be your last warning"
"It is against the clan's law to use the Mangekyou against another Uchiha" Itachi's voice is thick, as if caged behind high metal walls. He remains standing near the entry of the office, pupils narrowing.
Fugaku has visions and dreams. Money and power are pieces of a puzzle that once joined together, will create the ultimate prize. This is not one of them.
His father is quick to retaliate "It is against the clan's law to deny and disrespect the head of the clan" his holds his wife gaze before he glances at Sasuke.
"You will do what I say"
"You have no right" Sasuke hisses back, knuckles whitening.
His mother remains rooted between her husband and son, shoulders rigid as her posture remains hard.
The slap stings his left cheek and causes his eyes to sting. It's the shock that forces him to stumble back. In a blink, his father suddenly stands before him, arm still raised while exhaling loudly.
Silence envelops the room.
Sasuke is the volcano that has spent years brewing, he has yet to explode.
Fugaku does not lower his hand, his fingers visibly twitch.
Mikoto stands near him as her Sharingan rotates.
"You will never lay a finger on my son ever again"
Fugaku blinks before lowering his arm. His jaw unclenches as if to scold his wife, to yell at his sons or to tell the cleaners to do a better job.
"He is also my son"
The sound of flesh slapping flesh echoes around the room. Fugaku's cheek instantly flames red.
"Then treat him like one" she hisses back at him.
Itachi immediately stands between both parents. Both are boulders; both are worn out by the raging seas and cackling thunder.
"Leave" Itachi says through clenched teeth.
Fugaku stares at his son, eyes impassive as his Sharingan fades. He spares his wife one look of remorse? Anger? Mikoto does not bother to notice.
Only when Fugaku closes the door shut behind him does she breathe.
"Itachi, please leave"
Her eldest raises an eyebrow, mouth open but she immediately gestures with her hand to stop him.
"Leave"
Sasuke ignores his brother light grip on his shoulder, eyes remaining on the floor as his cheek throbs.
"I'll be outside" Itachi whispers to him before leaving.
Mikoto finally faces him. Her youngest is the forest fire which consumes all the living and dead creatures alike. Uchiha Sasuke is a reckoning that the clan did not prepare for. Yet, she does not care. Between the clan and her sons, Mikoto chooses her children.
She intertwines her fingers around his neck and cradles his face before wrapping her arms around him. He clings onto his mother's clothing, desperately keeping his tears at bay. He buries his face into her shoulder, inhaling deeply.
Lavenders and roses.
"He does love you dear, he just can't show it"
Sasuke shakes his head against his mother's embrace. The compass tilts and he is not oblivious.
"You are an Uchiha"
A painful sounds erupts from his lips, a strangled like sob.
"You are Fugaku Uchiha's son"
Mikoto's fingers grip onto her son's shoulders, forcing eye contact
"Above all, you are my son"
She sees a broken boy on loosened, rotten strings. Eyes that hold back a river of tears and fear of the unknown.
Mikoto's youngest son will be the reckoning the Uchiha clan deserved.
—S—
A/N: Frank Ocean- Wise man
Fugaku's reasoning to not allow naruto on any missions is to keep the Kyuubi in check. He does not see a creature surrounded by a human made of flesh and bone. He merely sees a dangerous asset that needs to be controlled and contained before anyone else can. He knows that if the fox was to unleash beyond the walls of Konoha and causes irreversible damage, villages would revolt and demand Konoha to take action and Fugaku isn't willing to take that risk.
Mikoto is a badass woman and I wish we had more insight into her character. She was an Uchiha after all.