A/N Happy Super Bowl! Allow me a moment to rant that I spent a good 20 minutes writing my A/N and then FF decided I wasn't logged in and erased all that I had written. RAGE. Now, I start again.
What are your Super Bowl rituals? Do you go to or throw a party? What food do you eat? If you're not in the US, does your country show the game, and do you/will you watch? I can't do SB parties, too many people there usually are being social and I want to see the game. This probably doesn't surprise you to learn about me. hehe As for food, nachos and subs are my go-to, though I'm feeling pretty sluggish today and may stick close to home, forgoing my Jersey Mike's for something easier like Outback. We'll see!
I would be remiss if I didn't tell you all to google Conan O'Brien's video game challenge with Gronk and Marshawn Lynch from earlier this week. Funniest thing I've seen in ages. I laughed so hard I cried. And not only does Marshawn talk, he's actually funny as hell. Check it out if you want a good laugh.
I did a review over on FicSisters for the now complete, completely awesome An Introduction to Swirl & Daisy. Go over there and read it, or just skip my review and go straight to FF and read it. Easily one of my favorite stories, it was a 5 year labor of love for m81170. She's made an adorable PDF that has different writing for the different diary entries and yearbook signatures. The work she's put into it just floors me. So, if you haven't read it, I highly recommend doing so.
I don't normally respond to anon reviews as a rule, but this one stuck with me so I guess I will. The wedding will be in chapter 24 or 25, depending how wordy I get. While this is an E&B story, it's not just E&B. It's Edward's journey through life's changes, such as his new job in the NFL, being away from his friends, family, and his girl, and coming to terms with becoming a father. Exploring those reactions is important to me, from shock through confusion and fear, to excitement, to freak outs, to acceptance. And everything in between. Last chapter he finally had some excitement over the idea, so I think that's important to share, plus many of my readers wanted Charlie's reaction. I try to include that which is requested of me whenever possible. So, do with that what you will. We're getting there and I think every step they take is important. Time jumps can and will happen. In fact, Chapter 23 will be Edward's reunion with his Reed Girl.
That being said, I think this chapter is a lot of fun. It's one I've had in my head since I decided to write this story, and I hope you all enjoy it! And I hope we all enjoy the game this year. I think it's going to be a close one. I won't curse anybody by predicting a winner. I missed you all last week, but the week off was nice, too! I'll see you next week to talk game, wishes, and anything else that comes to mind. Have a great week!
Getting Blitzed Chapter 21
Practice the next day was brutal. The Raven's defense came hard and fast, so Coach had our defense do the same to me. JPP had me on my ass way more than I was comfortable with. I did enjoy seeing Colin, Brady, and the rest of my linemen get lit into by Coach, though. A visit to the massage table helped me be able to move somewhat, so I headed home without incident.
Once I got there, the front desk let me know I had a package. The books! It was about fucking time. I took that shit up to my place and tore into it immediately. Of course Rainbow went all apeshit about the fact that there was a box in the house, and the instant I had it open, she got inside. What was with cats and fucking boxes? I'd never know, but she could happily sit in one for hours on end. Fucking weirdo. Oh well. It kept her out of my hair.
"Where the hell do I start?" I muttered. Some of these things were fucking scary. Well, if I was being honest, all of them were. "Better start at the beginning."
I picked up What to Expect When You're Expecting. I may as well know what Reed Girl was going through, right? It was the least I could fucking do since I was miles away from her while she grew my baby.
The book started with the why I wrote and updated this shit, like I fucking cared. I flipped through, snorting when I saw the Before You Conceive section. A little too fucking late for that, people. For some reason, I glanced at it anyway. Had Reed Girl had a preconception checkup? I really fucking doubted that, since we weren't trying to conceive in the first place.
Did she have a prenatal practitioner? What in the fuck was that? Sounded like something Jasper would have dreamed up when he was high. Oh, an obstetrician. Fuck, we must have one, right? But she had one in Tallahassee, which meant I needed to find her one up here, since the kid would likely be born here. Where the hell did I find a good obstetrician? Eli had kids. I'd ask him.
"Easy enough," I told Rainbow, who was randomly chasing her tail around the box. Sometimes she was otherworldy smart, to the point that it was fucking scary, but other times she chased her fucking tail, even though she never, ever caught it. I didn't get it.
See the dentist? What the fuck did the dentist have to do with having a baby? When was Reed Girl's last appointment? I started firing off texts as I scanned the book.
Fuck. Did we have any genetic disorders? I mean, my mom was fucking crazy half the time, and God knew Emmett was brain dead, but could the baby catch that through my genes? I'd have to ask my Dad. He was sort of normal. Sort of.
My phone buzzed.
I take it you got Jasper's books. You're supposed to skip that section!
Maybe I was, but I hadn't, and now I had new shit to worry about.
Does your family have any disorders? I mean, your dad is a little stalkerish, but the baby probably can't get that, right? What about your mom? She has issues.
Modify fish consumption? Reed Girl wasn't a huge seafood eater, so we were probably okay.
The issues my mom has aren't the kind that are passed to a baby genetically. As long as we keep her away from him or her, we're golden. And there's nothing wrong with my dad.
Well, that was debatable, but I was all for keeping my kid away from Renee. Thankfully she wouldn't hit on her own grandkid, unless she got senile when he was a teenager and she forgot. Fuck. I couldn't let my mind go there.
I felt a bit of a pang when the book said we should go out and do stuff while we could, before the kid came along and chained us to the house. Fuck. I'd make damn sure that I took her all over the place when she got up here, after the season ended. And we were taking that damn honeymoon. That was non-negotiable.
I flipped through some more pages. Get to know your cervix? What the fuck?
Do you know your cervix?
This time, Reed Girl called me. She was laughing as I picked up.
"You're not supposed to read that section. It says it right in the front that you can skip to chapter two. I can't believe you're reading it anyway."
Fine. I didn't want to get to know Reed Girl's cervix, unless my dick hit it when it was sliding inside her. Then I wanted to know it intimately.
"Of course I'm reading it. I should know what you're going through."
"And I appreciate that. But the baby is already happening, so we don't need to plan for making it."
"I'd like to practice making it, at least." Couples wanting to have a baby had lots of sex, right? Seemed like I was getting gypped since we didn't get to do all the prep.
She laughed again. "We've had plenty of practice over the past couple years."
That was true. "Never enough, though, baby."
I ran across the prep for dads and stopped there. "Why the fuck would I have to go to the doctor? You're the one having the baby."
"That's to make sure you don't have a low sperm count, which clearly isn't a problem," she told me drily.
"I can't help it if I'm super manly." One time having unprotected sex, just one, and I'd scored a touchdown. Edward Cullen was just that fucking potent.
I skimmed through the rest of that shit. I was in shape, obviously. My lifestyle was fine; I didn't smoke, drank on rare occasions but that didn't mean shit right now, and clearly my sperm wasn't an issue.
"Looks like I'm all good."
Reed Girl giggled again. "I don't know. Maybe you should see the doctor just in case, make sure you're not one and done."
"Not fucking cool, Reed Girl. Don't make me think about more than one kid when I'm still wrapping my mind around the first one."
"You're right. I'm sorry."
"Guess I can skip the pregnancy signs thing, but how tender are your nipples?" Yeah, I made myself sound like a perv when I asked that shit.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Obviously. I asked, didn't I?"
"My boobs definitely feel heavier."
Well shit, they were heavier. Her bra had practically strangled those things over the weekend. That was one perk of pregnancy I planned on enjoying.
"Nice."
"Says you. I have to go bra shopping soon."
Bra shopping? "Fuck. Can it wait until I'm back in town?"
She laughed at my horny ass-of course she did. "Probably not, but we can always go again. I don't know if you'd enjoy it, though. I'll be shopping for comfort, not sexiness."
That sucked. But I could hardly point that out when she was pregnant. Oh, well. I'd take her bra shopping after the baby. That would be fun. And I needed to focus before I got hard and this call turned into something a lot more fun than discussing a baby book.
"I take it we have a good doctor?"
"We have a good doctor. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."
Shit. She sounded nervous. "What?"
"Well, I was thinking of scheduling an ultrasound for the week of the wedding. So you could go with me and see the baby. Is that okay?"
Was it? It had to be, right? I should be there to see my kid. "Yeah. I want to go."
"Okay. I'll make an appointment."
She sounded relieved. "Were you afraid I was going to say no?"
She blew out a breath. "Not really. I just know it still hasn't fully hit you and I don't want to pressure you if you're feeling stressed."
Fuck. "Don't worry about me. You worry about you. I'm fine. I want to see the baby." Even if it was going to look like an alien or whatever. It would grow and get normal looking eventually.
Somehow I ended up on a page about birthing choices. "Do we have a birthing choice?"
The room thing was easy. You could apparently get a room where they did everything there and even let the baby stay with you. We'd be doing that. I wasn't having Reed Girl or my kid moved all over the place. I'd pay whatever so she could be as comfortable as she could be.
"Are you really ready to discuss the details of birth?" she asked.
It took me all of a second to decide that one. "Fuck no."
The words "home birth" had me flipping pages frantically. Fuck that noise. That would never fucking happen. We'd have to move if the baby was born at home. Shit would never be the same.
"I didn't think so." Even though she wasn't laughing, I could hear the laughter in her voice.
A question caught my eye. "It says that taking pills after you get pregnant shouldn't hurt the baby." Thank fuck. I hadn't even thought of that.
"I already talked to the doctor about that. He said we should be just fine."
"Good." There was enough shit to worry about without worrying we'd fucked up the kid inadvertently.
"Gross! Why the fuck are they talking about sexually transmitted diseases?" I was having flashbacks to junior high, seeing those words, remembering my father lecturing me about STDs and using visual aids. It was a wonder that I'd had sex at all after that horror.
"People with STDs can still have babies, Edward."
Gross. That didn't bear thinking about. I skipped a shitload more pages until I got to the First Trimester. Final-fucking-ly. Something that actually applied to us.
"Should we get all these tests done?"
"What tests?"
"The genetic stuff. Make sure nothing is wrong with the baby."
"Edward, I'm young and healthy. The baby will be fine. We don't have to have those tests unless the doctor is worried there's something wrong. Some of those tests can even be bad for the baby."
Well, shit. I didn't want that. "Okay, just checking. Our families are both kind of insane, you know."
She laughed. "They're not chemically insane, just naturally that way." She sighed. "I know your mind hops to the worst-case scenarios, but you need to rein it in. We'll worry about that which we need to worry about and not add to it. You can find all sorts of stuff in those books to scare yourself if you allow it."
Okay. I'd try, for her. But I was damn well going to make sure we did all we could so she and our son would be healthy.
"You don't drink much coffee, so we're okay there. You don't work out. Should you start?"
"So, you'll worry about me instead?" She laughed. "I walk a lot; there's no reason to stop that. And I can exercise, but I won't do anything extreme, since I didn't do that in the first place."
That was fine. "No smoking or drinking, duh." I skimmed over the drugs and shit. Not an issue. "No hot tub?" Well, there fucking went a honeymoon fantasy.
She laughed. "I didn't have any hot tub plans anyway."
"I did," I muttered.
"It's only for a few months. We can hit a hot tub together after the baby comes."
It would have to do. "There's a whole chapter on what you should be eating."
Reed Girl groaned at that. "Please, skip it. I can read that one myself."
Uh-huh. Right. "I really think I should get you that nutritionist."
"I can read just as well as you can. I'm sure I can manage."
Maybe. Still, if she wouldn't let me hire a nutritionist, I could still help out. I was going to find one of those grocery delivery services and order her the shit she should be eating. That was something I could do to take care of her, even from far away. At least then I'd be participating in some way.
I skipped the first four weeks stuff, as our baby was beyond that, but stopped when I got to the feelings section. I wanted to know what Reed Girl was feeling, even if she'd shared some of that with me. God knew she probably hadn't told me all of it. Drooling? Passing gas? Never mind. I didn't want to know after all.
"You're awfully quiet over there," Reed Girl observed.
"I was, uh, just reading the part about what you may be feeling when you first get pregnant. Changes that are happening already."
"Oh, boy. Are you sure you should be reading that book? I'm gonna kill Jasper."
Fuck. Not that I wouldn't like to see Reed Girl go off on Jasper. That shit would be hilarious if I was being honest. But I didn't want her to feel bad.
"Don't worry, it's normal. The book says so."
"Uh-huh. Let's just move along, okay?"
Fine by me. I wasn't squeamish and shit, and I knew my girl could let one rip every now and then, but I didn't need to talk about it either.
"Breaking the news? Already done, thank you very much." What a fucking process that had been. It felt like we'd told everyone under the sun we were having a kid. Even though nobody but Sammy and Coach knew at work. Fuck. When did I tell them?
"Ah ha! It says right here to let others baby you! That's what I keep trying to do." It was hilarious that it mentioned grocery shopping. I was taking care of that shit before the night was over.
"You're doing a good job of it, Champ. As expected."
I was glad she thought so. "Are you getting enough sleep? And are you sick every morning? It says here to eat in the morning, early. Have crackers or something by the bed and eat before you even get up." Damn it, I should be there making sure she did that.
"Edward, I'm sleeping as much as I possibly can. And the crackers are a good idea. I'll put some by the bed. I promise."
"Eat late, eat light, eat often. I really think you should be eating like all the time. Bring snacks to class."
"I can't eat all the time. I eat when I need to. I really think you should put that book away."
No way, no how. I was tackling this baby shit head on. I'd worry less if I knew it all. Wasn't that obvious?
Ginger. Ginger was good apparently. I wrote that shit down, along with the other suggestions I'd skimmed over.
"Tender boobs, puking, farting, drooling, swelling feet, crazy emotions-why do women do this shit?" Reading these books was either going to give me a new respect for the female race, or I'd want to avoid them all because they were clearly batshit for willingly going through all this crap just to have a baby.
"Because at the end of it, we get a tiny, perfect, sweet little baby, who we get to love beyond words. I'll endure nine months of insanity for sixty or seventy years of being mother to an incredible child."
Okay. Maybe so. Still, I could be glad it wasn't me having to go through all that.
"Don't even look at the call the doctor immediately if you experience stuff. You're just going to freak yourself out."
She was right. I'd probably text her every few hours to ask if she was experiencing any symptoms. But still, I should know.
"I should probably-"
"No. Skip ahead to the part that applies to us currently. That's what I'm doing. Reading so I know what's going on with the baby at each week."
That was a good idea. I could go back and read the other stuff later. Or not. The phrase "vaginal discharge" caught my eye. Fucking hell. Was there no end to the disgusting shit? Who knew that pregnant chicks were walking stink bombs, at all ends? Fucking gross.
"There's a section on how much weight you should gain."
"Just skip right over that, Cullen. I'll gain what I gain, and we'll live with it."
Right. There was an edge to her voice that told me I'd better do exactly what she said. Part of that heightened emotion shit the book kept mentioning. That, or she just didn't want me to say the word fat again. I knew better, though.
"Here we go! The third month." God, we were already in the third month. Thank fuck we only had one more to get through after that before she was with me permanently. Then I could monitor the food and the weight without her knowing about it. I could be stealthy and shit.
"We're gonna hear the baby's heartbeat?" I asked, because that was the coolest thing in the first paragraph.
"That's the plan. That's why I wanted you to be there for the appointment."
That was actually pretty awesome. I wanted to hear my kid's heart. I bet it was strong as shit.
"It says our baby is an inch long and about the size of an olive." Holy fuck, that was small. Scary small. How in the hell did an olive become baby sized in seven months time?
According to the book, the kid was actually starting to look more like a kid than an alien at this point. Thank God. Hopefully I wouldn't have to pretend that it didn't look weird when I got to see it.
"Muscles are forming! He's going to have a lot of them."
Reed Girl laughed. "I don't think our baby is going to come out with a six pack, Edward."
Who knew? "He's got Cullen genes, baby. Better be prepared for a parade of toddlers to be after him right from the start."
I skimmed the rest of the weeks. Week twelve would be when we got married. Apparently he'd be a plum by then. What was with the food comparisons? That was kinda fucked up.
Constipation, more farting, visible veins, more vaginal discharge…fucking hell.
"Looks like you're in for more of the same stuff this month," was all I said, because I wasn't a fucking fool. Also, right below that delightful list of disgust, it mentioned mood swings, irritability, and weepiness. I didn't need to set any of that off right now, thank you very much.
"Yeah, but I think some of the worst of it ends after the trimester. I'm not reading too far ahead. I don't want it all to run together."
That was a very good idea. I folded down the page and shut the book. Rainbow immediately hopped out of her box and took her spot on my chest now that a book wasn't in her way. I got a meow and a tail smack for my lack of attentiveness. Go fucking figure.
"Okay, I closed the book."
She chuckled. "Good. Now you know what's happening inside me. Probably more than you wanted or needed to know."
That was very fucking true. There was shit I just didn't need to be thinking about on our wedding night. Vaginal discharge was at the very top of that list. Shit, could I go down on her? Why wasn't that in the book? I needed a pregnant sex guide.
"It's important that I know what's happening, since I can't be there to see it for myself."
"We don't have that much longer until you're right by my side and I'm bothering you with late-night cravings."
I laughed at that. "I'll take cravings over morning sickness any day." Plus, there was plenty of shit open around here as late as you needed it to be. At least that was a positive to living in the city.
"Me too! I'm looking forward to it."
I knew she was. Reed Girl kicked all ass.
"But you're really feeling okay?"
"Yes. I'm tired sometimes, but that's normal, especially with all that's on my plate right now. I'm eating, sleeping, resting, and the gang checks on me in one form or another every few hours. You have nothing to worry about."
"Like you wouldn't worry if the roles were reversed and I was the one pregnant and alone?"
She sighed. "Okay. I get it. But I also know you're more than capable of taking care of yourself. And if you weren't, I'd send Jasper to take care of you."
That was a scary fucking thought. "You're mean, baby. It didn't say anything in the book about pregnancy making you mean."
"Well, irritable is close to mean, right? Plus, Jasper would take good care of you."
Too good. I had a quick image of him in a nurse's uniform offering me a sponge bath that had me feeling sick.
"Gross. You're the one I want to take care of me."
"And I will. I can't wait." Her voice got all breathy and sexy. Fuck yes.
I moved Rainbow aside because I couldn't hold her when Reed Girl was turning me on.
"Why don't you tell me just how you'd take care of me, Bella?" I dropped my tone like I always did when I used her name. She loved that.
"Well, I'd love to, but…shit." There was a noise, and I vaguely heard Reed Girl's voice. She said something like "right back." What the fuck?
I gave her two minutes before I started to panic. Where had she gone? Was something wrong? I thought maybe someone was at the door, but she wouldn't have dropped the phone for that. Had she passed out? The book mentioned being light-headed as a symptom.
I put my phone on speaker and started to text Jasper.
Get to my place, now. Call 911. Find out what's wro-
"Sorry."
"What the fuck happened?" I swear, I felt my blood roaring in my veins. Was I having a fucking heart attack? That would figure. I'd drop dead from a heart attack at twenty-one because my pregnant fiancée dropped the phone.
"I, uh, got sick."
Jesus fucking Christ. "You couldn't have told me?"
"Not unless you wanted me to puke in your ear, no. It hit and I ran. I'm sorry."
Fuck. I was breathing like I'd run wind sprints. "You scared the shit out of me."
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to."
Well, fuck. Now she sounded like she was about to cry. She'd gone from horny to sick, and I'd gone from horny to heart attack. Parenthood. So fucking fantastic.
"It's okay, baby. Maybe you should lie down for a while."
"I think I will." She sniffled. "I'm sorry I killed the mood."
Who cared about the mood? She'd nearly fucking killed me. But I wasn't going to tell her that. Not when she was upset already.
"You didn't kill anything, Reed Girl. You just get some rest and have a good dinner later, okay?"
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you, too."
I disconnected and shot a look at Rainbow. "That was a first." Never before had we gone from near phone sex to utter cockblock so quickly. The kid was already disrupting our sex life. Not fucking cool.
I took my phone and dialed Cody's Roadhouse in Tallahassee. We used to eat there almost weekly, and I knew my girl loved their baked potato soup. I did some sweet talking and offered enough money that they were willing to deliver. I got Reed Girl grilled chicken, soup, salad, and a fucking steak. She could eat any or all of it.
Then I got online and set up a grocery delivery service, ordering a bunch of fresh fruits and vegetables and other shit from the book. I was going to take care of my girl. She was my number-one priority and she'd just have to deal with me sending her shit right and left. Thank God for the internet. Her housekeeper would be starting later in the week. I was on top of shit.
I picked the book back up. It may have a ton of gross shit in it, but it also had answers as to what my girl needed. I'd power through, for her.