Chapter 1
Month 1
Another month of us barely seeing each other. I would have died of loneliness if it weren't for Jahee's weekly visit. She was really my only female friend other than a friend from my childhood who I saw occasionally but not often. On her last visit I wasn't feeling very good, I was very fatigued and a bit nauseous, but I didn't want to spend another day in that basement apartment alone, well alone with the paparazzi that was always hiding in bushes. Zen getting married was still considered a scandal. He told me not to leave the house without him, but sometimes I had to. He would be gone until so late, and there are things that we needed like groceries and tolietries that I couldn't always wait for him to be with. The only reason I still wanted Jaehe to come was so I'd have someone to talk to.

I looked much less polished then I usually did when I answered the door. I was wearing Zens shirt because I missed his smell and some ratty black jeans. Jaehee could tell something was off. "MC, what's wrong? You look tired." She put down her briefcase by the door as she took off her high heels. I attemped a smile. "I'm just tired, would you like coffee?" I was a bit shaky and unsteady I was so tired, I tripped up a bit and she caught me. "MC, you should go sit down. I can make us coffee, though maybe you could benefit from some tea?" I nodded as she walked me to the couch and forced me to sit. She brought me a cup of tea as I sat there my head pounding a little bit. Jaehe stayed longer then usual that afternoon. She even made dinner for me since she could tell I didn't feel well. "I have to go now, but Zen should be back in a few hours. Eat your soup and try not to get up, you might be getting the flu." She lectured me like I was a child as I just nodded as she left to go back to C&R. I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up to Zens smile.

"Hello my love." He kissed my forehead. "What are you doing in here and not in bed." He didn't even wait for an answer before he picked me up and started carrying me. "I had a headache and fell asleep." I whispered still drowsy as I held on to him. He put me down on the bed and helped me with my pants but left his shirt on as he kissed my temple before taking off his own clothes and crawling into bed and holding me close. "I'm sorry you're unwell, should I stay home tomorrow?" He stroked my hair and as much as I would have loved to have kept him home I knew that it'd be hard on the rest of the cast working with an understudy so I shook my head. "Okay, but if you need anything call the theater, I can find someone to stay with you." I shook my head again. This was no cause for worry but Hyun always wanted to make sure that I was okay, he put my health above his own a lot of the time which drove me crazy. "Okay go to sleep then." He stroked my hair until I drifted off. He was perfect.
Month 1-2

Three weeks later and I'd only gotten worse. I was sicker and exhausted all the time. There were days that I wouldn't get out of bed. Zen was in a panic. The only reason he was still going to work was because I forced him to. I wasn't going to have him lose his career or his lead role in the most successful musical he'd ever been in. "MC, I'm not arguing on this, I already told my director to put Shou in the show tonight, you're going to see a doctor and I'm going with you." Hyun had set up an appointment behind my back and taken a day off of work and I was angry about it. I shouldn't of been angry but I was. Along with everything else that had been going on I was a moody emotional mess. I burst into tears and just sat there on the floor crying angry tears and not knowing why. He sat next to me and held me tightly sighing. "It's going to be okay, I know you're scared but I'll be right there with you okay." He was just so kind and perfect and I didn't deserve someone so loving and patient.

He helped me up and led me outside. He'd had to swallow his pride and ask Jumin to lend us a car, he didn't want me on his bike until we knew what was wrong. It was alright I wasn't sure I could handle being on the bike anyway with how much I'd thrown up lately. Hyun opened my door for me, like the gentleman he was and I climbed in. He held my hand tightly, tighter then he normally would have as we drove, probably because I was still crying and he felt bad. I just wanted to crawl back into bed and I looked awful and felt awful.

He pulled into the hospital parking lot and then opened my door wrapping his arm around me as we went in. I stood in line with him waiting my turn to check in. "And what are your symptoms miss?" The receptionist gave me a warm friendly smile and as I opened my mouth Hyun the mother hen he could be jumped in. "She's been throwing up and has headaches and is dizzy and I can't lose her." The receptionist interrupted. "Sir. sir I need to speak to your wife, if you don't stop you'll be sitting over there." She pointed to the children's waiting area. He stepped back a bit. "I'm sorry, he's just worried." I wiped my eyes and hiccupped telling her the same thing Hyun had said. "Sir if you could take a seat for a moment, and you come with me miss?" " ." I responded shakily as she took me by the hand and he tried to intercept. I kissed his cheek. "I'll make sure they come get you if I need you okay." I sniffled as he went and sat down pouting.

A nurse came in and took over. She made me pee in a cup before she'd agree to get Hyun. He met me in the examination room after the nurse asked all the same questions, took my vitals, and made me pee in a freaking cup. I clung to him so tightly when he walked in. Even with as many times I'd been to the doctor I'd never been through that experience and I didn't like it. "It's okay, you're alright." He petted my hair for a bit while we waited. "I love you Hyun, no matter what I love you." I kissed him very lightly even not feeling well. That's when he forced me to lay down on the doctors table. He held my hand though. Sensing my nervousness.

We waited for what felt like an eternity. I swear I even fell asleep for a few minutes waiting on a doctor to come in. Eventually someone did. He introduced himself as . A scary name for a doctor right? He also looked ancient and he wasn't smiling. That made him all the scarier. "So we ran a few tests, and we know the cause of your condition. For some it may be good news, for you two however…." He looked directly at Hyun. "You're the actor from that soap opera and you're barely getting over the scandal of your marriage correct?" Hyun nodded. "But it was worth every horrid second, because I get to have the most beatufiul woman by my side every day." Hyun squeezed my hand tighter glaring at the doctor. "Please can you just tell me what's going on and if I need to be hospitlized?" I shot up looking panicked. The elderly doctor sighed. "I recoginized your husband because my wife and daughter are big fans, and my daughter Jaylynn was quite upset when she found out you were married.'' "STOP DAWDLING." I snapped at him waiting for him to get to the point. I was getting quite angry. "Well young lady, you are expecting a baby. I'd say you're about six weeks maybe 7 or 8 at the most. I'll leave you two to talk about your options."
He stood up and left. I bit my lip. This could destroy my husbands entire career. Celebrities weren't even supposed to get married. Even minor ones like my precious Zen, and and and a baby? That was 100% out of the question, right? I could already feel the tears coming down before I looked at him and and he was he was smiling? He looked over at me and saw my tears pouring down my face. "My darling, what's wrong? You should be happy." I looked away and faced the wall. "The doctors right Zen, this this baby and I could destroy your career." His face fell. I never called him Zen anymore because of our intimacy, but I had. His eyes flashed so hurt for a minute. "What do you mean, you don't believe in me! You don't think that I'll still get parts! Look at me, I'm one of the most handsome men in the country! I'm strong and beautiful, and I still got parts after we got married. I'll still get parts! I'm going to go smoke. I need a cigarette." He stormed out.

I walked out of there in a zombie like state. When we had gotten married Hyun was still working a lot, but there were threats on my life and people were often outside of our home saying awful things. What if they tried to kill my, no our baby. I found him outside. I tried to wipe my face. "Hyun?" I kept my distance. He threw his cigarette down and stomped on it before taking a deep breath. "I shouldn't have yelled at you babe, I'm sorry. Let's go home and talk about this like rational adults." He stood up, and walked to the car forgetting that I'm a lot shorter then him. He realized that I was pracically having to run to catch up and he stopped and waited taking my hand this time. "I'm sorry I was lost in thought, I was careless." He kept looking at me sniffling. He looked guilty and I wanted to stop but I couldn't. He opened my car door for me and I climbed in.

He drove unusually fast even for him, which made me nauseous again. "P-p-pull." I didn't finish my sentence before I puked all over the floor of the passenger seat and my favorite sneakers. That's when something unexpected happened. Hyun started to laugh as he pulled into a McDonalds parking lot to help get it cleaned up. "I guess you hate that filthy rich cat loving bastard too." He wiped his eyes and smiled. "Come on I'll help you get cleaned up babe." He came around opening the door. He held his hand out for me. There were a few outside tables and he carried me to one and then took off my shoes and socks then threw them in the trash. "Don't worry I'll get you another pair." He always did his best to take care of me, even though we didn't have a ton of money. We were comfortable but far from rich. I didn't like us wasting money on anything unneccassary but I just nodded.

He went in and bought me a bottle of water and brought out a ton of napkins and went and did his best to clean out the car before carrying me back and placing me in the back seat instead so I didn't have to try and avoid the vomit. He drove slower the rest of the way. It was appreciated to say the least. He once again carried me inside because I no longer had shoes on. "Do you want to talk first or do you want a bath?" He was smiling now. It was a relief. "Let's let's talk. Then I can take a bath." He nodded, placing me on the couch.

"Alright MC, go ahead and tell me what you're afraid will happen. I know in a way you said we can't have this baby. Tell me why please." He had both my hands in his looking a bit sad. "Do you remember when we first got married?" He nodded letting go for a moment to push a piece of hair out of my eyes. "Well do you remember the angry rabid fans? The reporters?" He sighs. "Of course I do my love. I know it was awful for you." He pulled me into his lap rubbing my shoulder. "I'm worried that that if I'm pregnant it'll be worse, and that you'll get fewer jobs. I know that you're incredibly handsome, amazingly strong, and wonderfully talented, but people could start to judge you based based on me." His face fell knowing I was right. "Well, let me ask this MC, do you want this baby?" I bit my lip. "I would love for us to have a child, but I don't know if it's worth us risking your career." He nodded understanding where I was coming from. "You know, it's okay. I've had a fairly successful career, and this doesn't necessarily a death sentence. It's not common but other actors have done this to. We'll get through this, and if it does affect my career, I'll get another job. I promise that no matter what, our family will be taken care of, believe it or not MC, I want this baby to. I want a family and I want to correct the mistakes my family made."

I nodded still biting my lip. "Let's keep it a secret though, at least for right now. We'll tell our friends when we have to." I put a hand on my stomach and my heart fluttered. I was going to have a baby. A son or a daughter, a combination of me and the love of my life, and he wanted this as much if not maybe more then I did. "Let's go take a bath."