It was a bright and sunny day in Murisuna, the sky was blue with no clouds in sight. Almost anyone living in Murisuna would agree on what this sort of weather would mean for them. It would mean their day would be filled with sweat, and they would all get the pleasure of having the sun slowly bake them at a nice temperature of over a hundred degrees. Yet despite the quite ridiculous heat, everyone went about their day. Farmers plow their fields, ranchers watch over their herds, hunters chase their prey upon horseback, and city folk did their jobs.
If one wasn't able to guess by the heat, Murisuna was practically one great big desert. The only exception to that being the snow-capped mountains up north. And as the paragraph above would indicate, people were actually stupid enough to live here. Farmers, cowboys, bandits, cultists, and some especially stupid people who thought it would be a great idea to try and rebuild civilization. These were just some of the people who called Murisuna home.
This story isn't about any of those types of people. Instead, it's about a weak and slightly fanatic child, and how he (quite literally) stumbled his way into saving an entire civilization.
Jeremiah ran up the hill as fast as he could, which was to say not very fast at all. His legs felt like they were on fire and ready to give up from underneath him, but he pushed himself, refusing to stop. As he ran up the hill, he couldn't help but regret leaving Father Caiaphes's side to try talking with other people in the caravan. Sure, Father Caiaphes was nice enough to let him go, (although he was a bit reluctant) saying. "Sure, go ahead Jeremiah. Just be careful not to get lost. Also… please just ignore any mean people Jeremiah." At the time, Jeremiah had been confused by that last request, but in hindsight, Jeremiah understood why he said it.
"Please don't leave me behind!" He yelled out between desperate gulps for air as he reached the top of the hill.
He couldn't see anyone for a moment, then he saw the caravan slowly melt into the horizon. He stared at their constantly shrinking shapes in disbelief. "They… they actually left me behind? Sure, they all acted rude whenever I tried talking to them, but they can't just leave me here, Father Caiaphes wouldn't let them." He stood there, hoping they would turn around for him. They never did.
Jeremiah had stood there for what seemed like forever, trying to grasp the fact he had been left. But once he finally processed what happened, he just let out a sad sigh. He had been left on the middle of a mountain because everyone else had to be superstitious idiots. Seriously, anyone with half a brain would realize the blight wasn't contagious and was just a birth defect. But apparently that whole caravan besides for him and Father Caiaphes were idiots, because they refused to even speak to him. Jeremiah honestly found it a little bit depressing, he had been so excited to go on this mission trip when Father Caiaphes first offered him. He had been looking forward to getting to see the world outside the monastery and getting to talk with other people besides the monks and the occasional trader. That wasn't even mentioning the part he was looking forward to most, getting to tell savages about the light of Christ.
But all of his hopes and dreams seemed to have been in vain. The outside world was just like the world around the monastery, nothing but rocks, dust, cacti and hardened, cracked, soil. Everyone was being rude to him, and if this supposedly civilized caravan were all too terrified of him to acknowledge his presence, how in the world would he convert actual savages?
So with all of this in mind, it was no surprise that he was pretty upset. He was so upset, he did something very uncharacteristic, he let out a yell. "Damn those idiots!" He then kicked the cliffside next to him, his anger quickly turned to pain and he let out a yelp.
He leaned against the very cause of his pain and rubbed his foot, his boot was now laying in the dirt. Once the pain faded away and he was convinced he hadn't broken anything, he felt ashamed. He had just insulted over a hundred people for no other reason than being ignorant and afraid. He could understand not wanting to catch the blight, he had it and could personally attest to it being miserable. He could even understand why the few people in the back of the caravan didn't slow down for him, they just didn't want to be left behind as well.
He bent his head down, closed his eyes, and prayed. "Please forgive me for being so quick to anger, and please pardon their ignorance, Adonai." He paused as he felt some of his guilt melt away, he then smiled. "Thank you, Adonai. I know this request is obvious, but please help me know what to do. Should I stay here until someone finds me, or should I try to catch up with them? I ask this in your Son Jesus's holy name, amen." He waited a moment for some sort of answer. He received one in the form of reaching a sudden decision, he would keep moving forward. He thanked God again and marched forward, (after putting his boot back on) his knapsack hanging by side.
Hours passed by. The sun was slowly sinking behind a distant mountain range, casting the sky into shades of red, yellow, purple and blue. Jeremiah was utterly exhausted and his entire body ached. Despite that and the fact he hasn't seen the caravan since he saw them melt into the horizon, he followed their tracks.
He knew he would have to stop and rest soon, but he wanted to wait until it got too dark to move forward. So he kept marching forward, ignoring how his eyes were becoming heavier and heavier.
Eventually , the sun fully dipped behind the mountain, leaving the moon and stars the job to illuminate the world. Jeremiah was so tired, he almost didn't realize it was now night until the cold began to grip him. A not so well known fact about deserts is that they can become freezing at night. He blinked blearily and asked himself. "Where should I lay down?" His gaze landed on a conveniently placed cave and he found his answer.
He stumbled his way into the warm cave. It wasn't that large, only a few feet deep into the mountain. There obviously weren't any blankets or beds in there, only rocks and dirt, but he wouldn't complain. He slowly stumbled his way around the small cave, trying to find a good spot to sleep. Fortunately, on account of his half-asleep stumbling, he never noticed the giant gaping hole in the ground until he fell through it. If this happened at any other time, Jeremiah would either beg God to let him live or praise God for letting him come back to his true home. But Jeremiah was far too tired for any of that at the moment. So he just numbly accepted the fact he was rapidly hurtling down a black abyss and closed his eyes to rest.
Jeremiah's eyes opened, a distant light was coming from high above him but he could not see its source. Jeremiah blinked in confusion before noticing the rock ceiling, then he remembered what happened. "Did… did I die?" The question was a simple one, yet it produced so much joy in Jeremiah. One might find that disturbing, to be excited at the prospect of being dead, but Jeremiah viewed it from an angle that was alien to most people.
Ever since he had been born, he had been afflicted with the blight, his parents abandoned him at the monastery for that very reason. He didn't blame them for that, actually, he thought thanking them would be most appropriate. Even if he were to ignore how well the monks treated him, the wonderful opportunities to learn such things as ancient English and scripture, and the safety of the monastery, he would still thank them for abandoning him. Because more often than not, children born with the blight are killed as soon as their parents realized they had it. It's not out of hatred, or even fear of spreading the disease, most people just view it as a common courtesy, preventing their child from slowly dying a miserable death.
While Jeremiah had been blessed to only have a particularly mild strain of the blight, it still slowly ruined his insides, weakened his whole body, and marked him with its telltale signs. That's why he always found the idea of heaven so appealing, a new body that would never feel pain, and even better, to be so close to his God and king, his only hope! So yes, he would be happy if he was dead.
Unfortunately for Jeremiah, he was still very much alive, the pain that suddenly shot through his body proved as much. He let out a sad pathetic scream, that was quickly replaced by sobbing and violent coughing.
It took a few minutes for the pain to dull to a point that Jeremiah could even begin to think rationally. "So I'm not dead." His voice was shaky and a few droplets of blood escaped his mouth as he spoke. He noticed this, and knowing what had happened, looked down at his robes. He had managed to cough up blood all over his robes again. Despite that being a semi-normal occurrence for Jeremiah, seeing it just made everything seem even worse. He laid there and started to sob again. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't bring himself to care enough to stop.
While Jeremiah was perfectly willing to die, he wasn't such a big fan on slowly and painfully dying alone, inside some dark, cold cave no less. Eventually, after much crying, he realized what he had to do. "I'll have to pick myself off the ground."
He cringed at the idea, he knew that was going to hurt quite a lot. "There has to be something else I can do." He racked his brain for any other possible solution. As the seconds ticked by, he slowly began to realize he could only think of one other thing to do, it was stupid and he knew it wouldn't work. But in desperation, he cried out. "Can someone, anyone help me?" His cry for help echoed throughout the cave. He knew nobody would come, he was alone in the cave after all, but to his surprise, somebody actually came. "Where am I?"
Jeremiah was shocked when he heard the voice. It sounded like it belonged to a girl about his age, but he couldn't see where they were. "Can you please help me?" He cried out, his voice was pained but his relief was still evident in it. Instead of helping him up or even acknowledging him, the girl kept muttering questions to herself. Questions like, "How am I alive? Did our plan fail?" Jeremiah had no idea what she was talking about, but he was slowly starting to understand the girl wouldn't be helping him. So, with no options left, he tried to stand back up.
As soon as he moved an inch, his whole body flared in pain and he let out another pitiful scream. "I can't do this!" He cried. But despite his brain screaming that fact at him repeatedly, he felt something else begin to flow through him, something foreign, it made him feel like nothing would stop him from getting back up.
And before he knew it, Jeremiah was standing back up on his own two very shaky feet. "Are you alright? I'm sorry for not noticing you earlier, I was… busy with my own issues." The girl now sounded embarrassed and apologetic. Jeremiah was far too tired to get angry about being ignored earlier, so he simply mumbled out. "It's alright." He then looked around the room, hoping to find the girl so she could help him walk. But all he saw were the walls of the cave, a patch of the greenest grass he ever saw, and some weird yellow plants his brain dimly registered as flowers. Normally that would've excited him, he never saw a flower before, but he wasn't in the mood for that right now. Quickly giving up on finding her on his own, he asked. "Where are you?"
There was silence in the room, leaving Jeremiah standing in the middle of the room with trembling legs. Eventually, when Jeremiah was just about to give up and leave, the girl spoke up hesitantly. "It's hard to describe." The girl paused before adding. "I think I'm inside your head." Jeremiah's hand immediately shot up to his head, he couldn't feel any bleeding or bumps up there. The girl- no, the voice in his head, seemed to quickly realize how crazy that sounded and tried to explain how it wasn't. But it was too little, too late. Jeremiah was now firmly convinced he hit his head a little too hard in that fall, and he would now ignore that voice because to do otherwise would be insane.
So he slowly walked out of the room, using the cave's wall as support the whole time, while ignoring the voice's protests. Despite gripping onto the wall, every step he took was uncertain and felt like his legs were on fire. Yet he pressed on. After spending a good few minutes doing this, he reached the next room.
This room was much like the last one, except instead of a whole patch of flowers, there was only a single one. One that just so happened to be smiling and speaking to Jeremiah. But being fully aware that flowers can't talk, he just walked past it. Which was unfortunate, because if he had been paying attention, he would have noticed the flower's ever-increasing anger at being ignored. He may have even noticed the vine that was slowly creeping towards his leg. The voice noticed it and tried to warn him, but he was still refusing to acknowledge the voice's existence so he never noticed it until it was too late.
It all happened so fast. Jeremiah felt something coil itself around his leg. Before he could even register the fact this happened, the vine pulled him down onto the ground. Jeremiah' s face planted onto the ground. He then felt the vibe yank his leg, pulling him into the air. He heard a loud popping sound and screaming, it took him a moment to realize he was screaming. He blinked for just a moment, and when he opened his eyes he found himself being swung face-first into one of the cave walls. He could feel the way the rocks scraped and cut his face, but he couldn't feel any pain. He was then unceremoniously dropped onto the ground, his landing was far less gentle this time. He could feel one of his ribs cracking, but he dimly registered the fact he was in shock, so it didn't hurt too bad. He tried to look up from the ground, but he found himself barely able to see past the blood. It took him a minute to realize it, but he now faced to face with the flower. It's smile, once filled with innocence, was now filled with rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth, plus a little bit of sadism.
It said something to Jeremiah, but he couldn't hear it past the pounding of his heart. This seemed to enrage it further, and suddenly dozens of white pellets appeared all around him. He watched as these strange pellets slowly started to float towards him, the flower's cackling filling his ears. Then suddenly, the laughter stopped. He looked up and couldn't see the flower anymore. Jeremiah was now confused, tired, and thirsty. The voice in his head tried screaming at him a few times, but it soon grew quiet. Jeremiah was relieved about that, actually, he was relieved about something else as well. That was the fact he was getting to go to heaven today after all, despite the confusing and painful delays on the way. He closed his eyes, ready to accept death.
Jeremiah was surprised to hear something walking towards him, instead of some sort of heavenly bells or literally anything else. He was even more surprised to hear them speaking, although he couldn't quite make out what they were saying.
He opened his eyes and looked up, hoping to see an angel that would take him to heaven. Instead, standing there ready to claim his soul was the demon Baphomet. This immediately cleared up Jeremiah's mind and set him into panic mode. He hadn't dedicated his whole ( admittedly short) life to God, just so his soul could be stolen by a demon last minute!
He ignored the pain in his arms and desperately rummaged through his knapsack. He quickly found it, and with newfound strength, flung the whole bottle of holy water at the goat-man demon. "Begone, foul demon!" He yelled. It shattered on impact, drenching the demon with the holy water. But instead of immediately bursting into flame, the demon stood there unimpressed. Jeremiah wanted to scream in panic but passed out from exhaustion instead.
Today was supposed to have been just another day for Toriel. She would wake up, walk around the ruins, make sure to greet her fellow monsters, before going hunting for snails. After all that, she would finally check to see if any other humans had fallen down. She hadn't expected anyone to actually fall down, but she should've seen it coming. It had been far too long, about six hundred years too long, since a human last fell down, just to be led to the slaughter. But like a coward, she hoped no one else would fall down into this prison.
She was hunting snails when she heard the child screaming in pain. She could remember the panic in her heart as she ran all the way back to her precious daughter's grave. She could also remember the burning rage she felt upon seeing what that horrid flower was doing to that poor child. It hadn't been too hard to send that coward flying angel knows where. What was hard, was to see the child's reaction to her, fear and panic. He even called her a demon and flung a glass bottle of water at her before passing out.
Toriel idly glanced at her robes, they still had glass embedded in them. "I should probably take those out now." She thought to herself before shaking her head. "Not until the child wakes back up." She then looked back up at the slumbering child. He was in quite a bad state when Toriel found him, he was covered in so much blood that for a moment, she could only think of Chara. Thankfully, she was quickly able to pull herself back together and examine the child. She soon realized that the child's bleeding wasn't as bad as she feared. Most of the blood seemed to be coming from a cut on his forehead, it was rather deep but it wasn't anything healing magic couldn't fix. He did have quite a lot of broken bones, however. She could only guess that was caused by that fiend who had been trying to kill him. "I really need to find them before they cause any more harm." She couldn't help but smile slightly as she imagined giving that flower quite the fright.
Anyway, after giving his wound's a brief exam, she healed his wounds with her magic and carried him back to her home. The child had been surprisingly light, it turned out their robes were too big on the child, but they fit in such a way to make the child look bigger than they actually were. The poor child was actually as thin as a stick. She had wanted to throw those robes out, they felt like sandpaper, were stained with blood and had multiple holes in them. But she decided to just fold them and place them in a corner, the child may want something familiar after all. She would've washed the robes as well, but she wasn't quite sure if they could survive a wash. She left his knapsack behind the shoebox, she had been tempted to dig through it and see what was in there, but she decided to accept the child's privacy. She also scrubbed a terrifying amount of dirt and sand off the child's pale, milky white skin. Finally, she put Asriel's old clothes on him and tucked him into bed.
She had been quite lucky the child passed out when he did, if the child had been awake she wasn't sure if she could've gotten him to follow her. She knew she couldn't rely on the child being asleep forever, so she would need to find a way to work around his fear. Her heart ached at the idea the child may be terrified of monsters now, all because of that cruel flower. But a small selfish part of her thought that maybe for the best. If he feared monsters, he may actually listen to her and stay here with her. There would be no need for any more children to die that way. "They wouldn't have died if you did something to stop Him." She shook the sudden and bitter thought out of her mind, she had been doing her best after all. Thankfully, a knock on the door prevented any possibility of that part of her mind to make any comebacks.
She made her way to the door and opened it. She smiled when she saw the little ghost floating there, multiple bags of groceries floating beside them. "Hey… I got your groceries Miss Toriel." The ghost's voice was hesitant, but Toriel wasn't. She grabbed the bags and replied. "Thank you Napstablook, how much were you out?" The ghost managed to blush at the question. "I wouldn't worry about it miss Toriel... I probably got all the wrong stuff." She was about to tell them that wasn't true, but they vanished before she could say anything else. She then closed the door with a sigh before making her way to the kitchen.
She had wanted to make the child a pie for when he woke up, but she wasn't comfortable with the idea of leaving the child alone. Luckily, Napstablook had been in the ruins and heard about the injured child. Toriel was honestly surprised, but thankful, by them working up the courage to ask if they could help. So she asked her old friend to get her some cinnamon and butterscotch, among some other ingredients. While a pie might satisfy a child's natural sweet tooth, it wouldn't be entirely healthy for that rail-thin child to only eat pie, even if it was a snail one. So she also asked Napstablook to get some veggies and meats as well, she had a child to bulk up after all.
(NEW AN) So I re-read the first couple paragraphs of this chapter, and I didn't like them at all. I also don't have a full/strict plan for this story, just a collection of ideas, so there was a few contradictions between chapters. So I decided to just rewrite the parts of this chapter I didn't like. I have lots of ideas I wanna try to use in this story, but I'm not sure if I'm going to use them all. So here's a list of slight potential spoilers just in case I don't end up using them. 1. If it isn't obvious, the surface has experienced a nuclear war in the distant past. 2. The region known as Murisuna is made up of the former states of Arizona, New Mexico, and bits of southern Utah and northwestern texas. Also a good chunk of Sonora is included. 3. Monster magic isn't actually magic, it's just a form of energy. 4. Monsters are most definitely not mutants, just wanted to make that clear. 5. The blight is a form of mutation. Here's Some of the primary effects of the more severe strains of blight. Cancerous growths, hair loss, peeling skin, internal bleeding, weakening of the bones and eventual total organ failure. Almost all forms of the blight cause Albinism.
Hope you guys enjoy the new version of the chapter. Please let me know if you like the new one better. God bless.
Ps. You guys really need to watch jo-jo rabbit, it may actually be my new favorite movie.
(Old AN) You can skip this if you want, because this basically me giving a little backstory on myself and what the main OC is. So, I've always daydreamed while working for as far back as I can remember. I also liked to read fanfic out to work as well. Eventually, I figured since I spend so much time daydreaming, I should try writing so that daydreaming can be productive. I would say its been about a year or two ago since I first started writing.
When I first got started, I had an idea for a novel, but I kept finding myself making major changes to the story. Eventually, I realized I should practice writing way shorter stories first, instead of starting with a novel. So I started doing writing prompts on Reddit, in the hopes that people would comment on whatever I wrote and give me advice. I did pretty good there, even made one that got over a thousand upvotes. I also made a few short stories on Reddit as well. But during all this, I would keep trying to write this novel, but I would get barely into it before rewriting major portions of it.
Eventually, I wrote that Brightburn/ stranger things crossover that I'm still afraid to reread because of how cringey it probably is now. But I don't regret it because I got some pretty good advice and got some experience in writing a multi-chaptered story. Not long after writing that fanfic, I came up with the idea for another completely original story to post on Reddit. I got the first draft of all ten chapters nearly done but I couldn't stop day dreaming about this one scenario. What if one of the characters from that first attempted novel replaced Frisk in undertale. So against better judgement, (I still need to finish my other story's first draft) I decided to write the first chapter of this.
I debated which character to write about, mainly debating between the main villain of the story or the one I ended up picking, Jeremiah. The reason I picked Jeremiah is honestly kind of stupid, I picked him because it would change the story of undertale less than the villain would. Yes, I'm lazy but I have to finish my other story. So being perfectly honest, this story may not be updated for a while, probably not until I finish my other story.
Please leave a review and let me know what you think of this story. Also any advice on my writing is highly appreciated. Also just passed my G.E.D tests today! I should be getting it tonight, Thank God! (: