A/N Happy National Lemonade & Raspberry Popover Days! Seriously, I'm not even sure what a popover is, unless it's the same as a turnover, in which case, yum. I like raspberries, though, and it's a gorgeous day to sit outside and have a glass of lemonade here in FL, so that's what I went with :) Also, Happy Avengers weekend. Saw it yesterday, loved it. RDJ and Hemsworth rule my little world. hehe

The draft is done and so am I! Seriously, I'm exhausted. I'm going to need a nap or two today, have no doubt about it. It was funny, for all the rumor and innuendo, the first round was fairly boring and predictable. None of the mega-trades came to pass. A few of the risky prospects slipped down the draft boards (I actually felt bad for Gregory being there until pick number 60) but other than that? It went as predicted. And on a braggy note (not that I have anything to do with it, but I'm proud), 11 Noles got drafted, taking our 3 year total to 29, breaking the record for most players drafted from one school during that span! I'm excited for my boys, proud for my school, and psyched because they should be trumpeting that to all the recruits that they're going after for future classes! Always a good thing!

Yesterday was the sports day of the year, apparently, with the draft, basketball and hockey playoffs, baseball, horse racing, and boxing all in one day. I can't stand the latter two, but it's cool that so much was going on. And if you haven't seen what Gronk wore to the Derby, do yourself a favor and Google it. Only Gronk! He sticks out like a sore thumb with all those well-dressed football players. hehe I want to hang out with that guy, for real. He'd be a blast.

Well, most of you were excited for Baby Girl Cullen. A few of you were downright distraught, which surprised me a bit, but it is what it is! Cockyback was getting entirely too comfortable with the idea of a baby boy. Had to shake him up again. As we've learned with our boy over the years, he takes a little bit to come around to things, but once he does, he's all in. And now, for some of that coming around...

Have a great week and I'll see you next Sunday :)

Getting Blitzed Chapter 34

Bella went back to the doctor's offices again with Kim while I sat in the waiting room and tried to process what I'd just been told. A girl. As in, a female. As in, fucking trouble. Girls were scary as hell. I didn't get them. I mean, I got them, obviously, but I didn't understand them. They were so fucking complicated.

Boys were easy. Our thoughts boiled down to about three things ninety-nine percent of the time: sex, food, and sports-not necessarily in that order. Girls thought about that and a lot more, like feelings and shit. And my daughter better not think about the first thing in any order. That was off the fucking table.

My phone was buzzing like a motherfucker. Everybody and their uncle knew that we had our big appointment today, and no doubt they were all chomping at the bit to find out what we were having. A girl. Em and Jasper were going to have a fucking field day. I knew better than to answer any of the calls or texts, though. Bella would want to be there when we told everybody. She'd probably have to say it for me, since I didn't know if I could say the words. A girl? How in the hell did that happen?

Obviously, I knew how it happened, but still. Cullens were supposed to be boys. That was the way it just seemed to go. Surely there were females somewhere in the family tree, but not recently. Why did I have to be the one to break the mold, each and every time? I mean, I was special, obviously, but a daughter? Somewhere, up there, someone was laughing their ass off at me. This was totally in some higher power's hands. I'd crossed the wrong woman somewhere along the way, and now I was being punished.

Where was Rainbow? We should have brought her in case of emergency, because I sure as hell needed to talk this shit out right now, and I couldn't do it with Reed Girl, despite what she'd said the other day. I'd seen her face in the doctor's office when she thought I was upset and didn't want a daughter. That was not the case. I mean, upset wasn't the word for it. Shocked as hell, yes. Scared? Fuck yes. Out of my depth? Without a fucking doubt. But I wasn't upset. I still loved our kid, even if she didn't have a penis. It was just scarier that she was a girl. Would Bella understand that?

She knew, of course, my history with females. And she knew that I'd certainly never had any female friends before she came along, let alone a girlfriend. Girls had been for one thing and one thing only until I met my Reed Girl. And now, for that attitude, I was being given a daughter. A daughter who would one day want to date a guy who might or might not be the same way I was. And then I'd have to kill him. I'd go to jail and get one of those Where is He Now? Features on ESPN, showing me in my prison jumpsuit. I'd be another NFL violent offender. A statistic. Fuck. How many fathers out there had wanted to kill me when I'd gotten done with their daughters?

No. That wasn't the case. I hadn't broken any hearts. The girls I'd hooked up with had known the score. Some had been a little bit clingier than others after the fact, but still. Even those nutbags had known. My daughter wasn't going to have random hook-ups. She'd have to stay home. We could get her homeschooled. And then the convent. Yes, that was a good plan.

I was feeling marginally better about things when Bella and Kim reappeared. Kim looked a little red-eyed, and she was holding my wife's hand like she was her lifeline.

"You can call me anytime, day or night. And the team is on the road this week, so maybe you could keep me company? I need to do more shopping," Reed Girl was saying.

Shopping for pink, no doubt. Fuck. My mother, who was probably calling me right now, since I was vibrating again, was going to lose her ever-loving shit. She'd always wanted a girl. If I'd thought it was bad when I actually got a girlfriend, what was it going to be like when I presented her with a granddaughter?

"I'd love that. Really, thank you. I don't know if I could have done that alone."

Reed Girl hugged her. "You don't have to be alone anymore. We're here for you." She looked at me for confirmation of this fact, so I just smiled and nodded. I wasn't arguing with one pregnant chick, let alone two.

They kept yapping as we made our way to the parking lot. Another parting hug and promises to get together over the weekend, and finally we were alone again. I got the door for Bella and then went around to my side. Before I could start the car, she put her hand over mine on the ignition.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" See? I was smooth as hell. She wasn't going to be upset by my reaction again.

"I don't know. Maybe because you'd already had our son winning the Super Bowl in about twenty-five years, and now you find out that he's a she? That might have you a little off-kilter."

It was more like twenty-two years. My son was going to be an NFL prodigy. "We had a fifty-fifty shot. All joking aside, I knew that. Girls are cool."

"Edward Anthony Cullen. Look at me."

I looked her way; grateful I had my sunglasses on. She reached up and pushed them off my face, though. She knew I couldn't look at her and lie. Damn it.

"Now, I'll ask you again. Are you okay?" Her patient brown eyes bore into my skull. It was like she could fucking read my thoughts. I caved immediately.

"Of course I'm not okay! We're having a daughter. A daughter, Bella. Girls are fucking scary. They're moody and unpredictable. She's going to hate me because I won't let her date a guy like me. I'm being punished for all the girls I wronged before you came along."

I waited for the inevitable explosion, but all I got was a twitch of her lips. "Sounds like a country song."

See? Even Reed Girl was fucking unpredictable. She should be yelling at me, or crying or some damn thing. Not being all calm and semi-amused, even though she was often that way before hormones came along.

"So, you think you're being punished because you hooked up with a lot of women?"

"Of course! I treated girls badly, so now I'm getting a girl I have to worry about twenty-four-seven. What if a guy like me comes along?"

Reed Girl tilted her head and smiled at me. "Well, I imagine she'll have a really good time bringing out his softer side, just like I did."

I blew out a frustrated breath, and she reached up to touch my cheek.

"You didn't turn out so bad, Edward. And even if she doesn't luck out, like I did, we'll make sure that she has the tools to deal with whoever comes along. She'll have the benefit of both of our experiences to draw on."

I closed my eyes when she stroked her fingers up and into my hair. "I don't want our kid to hurt, ever. Not physically, like Danny, or emotionally."

"But she will, Edward. She'll fall off her bike and scrape her knee. She'll slide into second base and sprain her ankle. And yes, one day she'll get her heart broken by a boy-or girl… Who can say at this point? We can't protect her from any of that. All we can do is pick her up when it happens, dust her off, and help her get back on that bike, or on the field, or even into dating."

I relaxed into her touch. "It would be a lot better if we homeschooled her before sending her to a convent."

Reed Girl let out a little giggle. "If that's what she wants, that's what we'll do. But it will be her choice. Not her overprotective daddy's."

I opened my eyes and saw her smiling fondly at me.

"Tell me something. If we had a son and he fell off his bike, what would you do?"

I shifted under her patient gaze. "You know what I'd do. Just what you said. But it's different when it's a girl. Jesus, Bella, you fucking kill me when you cry. What do you think our baby girl will do to me?"

"I think she's going to own your heart in a way that even I can't. And that terrifies you. That's normal."

I took the hand that was stroking my face and kissed it. "You completely own me."

"I know." She leaned forward and gave me a gentle kiss. "And so will she. And any other children we have. You have an incredible heart with plenty of room for love, Champ. Discovering that was my favorite part of falling for you. Have as much faith in yourself as I do. You're going to be a great father to a wonderful little girl. She's going to love you, and every man that comes along will be compared to you. I almost feel sorry for them."

I had to smirk at that. "You should, because I'm going to scare them all away."

She laughed. "I look forward to seeing you try. Now, I don't know about you, but my phone has been ringing off the hook for the past hour or so."

I laughed. "Mine, too. Who first?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know damn well that if we tell anyone but your mother first, she'll find out and make us pay for it."

"Make me pay for it, you mean. You can do no wrong right now." But I started the car and turned on the Bluetooth, calling up my mother's cell.

"It's about time! What are we having?"

We? I didn't say a word, just gestured for Reed Girl to take the lead, putting my right hand on the stereo knob for safety's sake. I knew what was coming.

"It's a girl!"

Mom and Reed Girl both let out unholy shrieks. Luckily I flipped Mom down to minimum volume just in time since I had mad reflexes. Bella smacked at my hand and turned the volume back up, luckily after my mom's screaming had tapered off.

"Oh my God, I knew it! I just knew it! Finally, a little baby girl Cullen. You know, I wanted Edward to be a girl so badly that I dressed him up a time or two in the cutest little dress that I couldn't resist-"

"What the fuck, Mom?" Now I was yelling. Jesus fucking Christ. She put me in a dress?

"Oh, I forgot you were there."

Of course she fucking did. Now that she had Bella and her future granddaughter, I was nothing but the sperm donor. Put me right out to fucking pasture. I was done.

"It was really nothing, dear. I just needed to pretend for a couple minutes, take a few pictures, that sort of thing."

Pictures? "Where the fuck are those pictures? You better have thrown those out!" Maybe Dad had found them and gotten rid of them. He wouldn't stand for her emasculating his son that way.

"Who knows? They don't matter anymore. I have a granddaughter on the way. Bella, I saw the cutest little dress for Christmas for her next year. I'll buy one in every size so we're covered. It's green and red checks with this adorable almost tutu-like bottom. Oh! We can get her little ballet slippers to go with them!"

And they were off. It gave me time to ruminate on the fact that my mom had dressed me like a girl. Did Emmett know? Did Emmett have the pictures? No. Surely he would have used that shit against me by now. He must never know. I couldn't deal with that shit.

Mom kept up a constant squealfest the entire way home. Clearly she was shopping as we spoke because she was describing all these little girl outfits and decorating ideas to a fucking T. I'd have cut that shit off, but my wife was fucking beaming with joy and cooing along with every new description.

We got home, and I shot Bella a look.

"Mom, we have to go. We're home, and Edward needs to get back to practice; plus we have to make a few more calls."

"Of course! I'll just e-mail you some of these decorating suggestions. And pictures of the clothes. I'm so excited!"

"Sounds good! I'll call you back in a bit," Bella promised her.

"Bye! We're having a girl!"

Seriously, not a goodbye for her son. I was the forgotten child now.

"Who should we call next?"

Before I could even answer, Bella's phone rang. "Alice," she murmured.

She didn't even answer with a hello, just: "It's a girl!" and more shrieking commenced. Either Blondie was with her or Shorty made enough noise for several people. I wouldn't be remotely surprised.

And it took all of thirty seconds for my phone to buzz with an incoming text from my brother. All it said was: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Fucker. Just wait and see. Apparently all Cullens were not boys, which meant he could have a girl, too. I reminded him of that very fact with my answering text.

Not cool, bro. Not cool.

Ha! If karma with girls had anything to do with me having a girl, then Emmett was going to have twin girls at the very least. Maybe triplets or quads. He'd been a billion times worse than I had, and he'd fucking taught me to be like him. Double girl-juju on his ass. I pointed all of that out. He didn't respond, probably because he'd passed out in sheer terror. Or maybe he'd run off to get a vasectomy.

Meanwhile, Jasper got in touch. Apparently all four of them had nothing better to do than wait around to find out the sex of our baby. Fucking weirdos.

I'm so happy for you. Sugar and spice and everything nice! More kittens and rainbows in all of our lives. I'll paint her a mural in her room.

I didn't even want to see what the fuck he'd paint for my daughter. He actually was a decent artist, but it was dangerous.

Another text came through.

Seriously, congratulations. A baby girl is such a blessing. She's going to have every single one of us wrapped around her little finger, especially her daddy. You're going to be the most important man in her world. Nothing you do will ever be as important as that. And you're going to rock it. Call me later if you need to talk.

Okay, maybe Jasper could paint her a mural. I texted him thanks while Bella wrapped up with the girls with more promises to call back shortly. No doubt after she was rid of me, so they could talk about if I'd lost my shit or not. I knew those girls.

"Should we call my dad now or wait?"

"May as well get it done. He's probably friends with my mom on Facebook, and she's probably already posted that shit for the world to see, along with hiring a skywriter."

Reed Girl giggled. "She's excited. She's always wanted a girl."

I groaned. "Clearly." I shuddered. "Don't ever tell anybody about that dress shit. I can't believe she did that."

"Can't you? Don't worry, baby. Your secret life as a woman is safe with me."

I poked her side while she laughed uncontrollably. "Very funny, woman. Suck it up and call your dad. I'm late."

Coach might give me shit, but he'd understand. He had a daughter himself.

She put us back on speaker as her dad's gruff voice came over the line. "Hello."

"Hi, Dad!"

"Bells! How was the doctor?"

She glanced at me. "It was good. We're having a girl."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and I waited to see how he'd handle it. He'd been even more excited about a future NFL grandson than I'd been.

"That's great, Bells. She's going to be as pretty as her mom, who was the prettiest baby ever born."

Christ. She was going to be pretty. Between Bella's genes and mine? She'd be gorgeous. Fucking hell. I'd have to beat the boys off with a stick. I really did need to look into homeschooling. Or all-girls schools. Although, I'd met some girls who'd gone to those in college. To say those girls were out of control was an understatement. Nope, that wouldn't work.

"How's Edward holding up?"

I shook myself out of the image of me fending off a horde of horny teenage boys.

"I'm good, Charlie."

He laughed. "Bullshit. You're scared shitless. And you should be."

Some fucking pep talk.

"That's real helpful, Charlie."

"There's nothing scarier than having a little girl, except when it comes to having to let her walk out the door with the man you know is going to take her away."

I was going to hyperventilate. I couldn't fucking breathe.

"Dad. She's not even born yet. You don't need to fill his head with thoughts of her dating or getting married. And, if I recall correctly, you practically handed me to Edward when you met him. You'd have had us married that first weekend if you'd had your way."

That was true. That calmed me somewhat. Then again, Charlie had been in love with my athletic skills and celebrity. That most certainly wasn't going to impress me. No, whatever fucker sniffed around my daughter was going to have to be pretty fucking astounding to impress me. He'd have to be a prince or a president or some shit.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Well, that was different."

Reed Girl laughed. "Sure it was. We have plenty of time to work up to boys and dating, Daddy. No need to jump ahead fifteen years."

Fifteen? Was she insane? "Twenty at the least. Maybe thirty. It won't be an issue because I won't let it be."

Charlie chuckled. "Don't worry, son. I'll get you a gun when she hits her teens."

"Okay, no more boys and guns. We've gotta go, Dad. Edward has to practice. We'll talk to you soon."

"Beat the Rams for me! My Hawks need to maintain their lead in the division."

I laughed. "Sure, Charlie. I'll take care of them just for you."

"That's all I ask, son. And don't worry; I'll help you keep the boys away."

Reed Girl shook her head, but I smiled. "I'm counting on it, Charlie."

We signed off, and Reed Girl rested her head on my shoulder. "You're not freaked out again, are you?"

I shrugged. "Not really. Maybe a little, but realistically I know it's not going to be an issue for a long while. And when she hits her teens, I'm still going to be playing football, which means I'll have fifty-two big, scary teammates to help me intimidate whoever comes along. Not to mention your dad, my brother, Jasper, my dad, Blondie, Shorty… We'll be good."

Reed Girl laughed. "God help her. She's going to have a pretty intimidating wall around her. It'll take a special guy to even try to get through."

"Nobody will dare."

She kissed my cheek. "We'll see."

"Did you want to call your mother?"

She shook her head. "She's the one person who hasn't called or texted today. I'll give her a call later, but I'm sure she's doing her own thing. It's fine."

I pulled her into my arms. "I'm sorry she's so self-centered."

"I'm not. I have more than enough people who are there for me. I learned what not to do through her, and your mom has taught me about the type of mom I want to be."

"You're going to be a great mom, baby. Though, I wouldn't emulate my mom too much. She forgot I was alive there when she heard she had a granddaughter on the way."

Reed Girl giggled. "Maybe for a minute, but she'll remember soon enough. You've given her the best gift she'll ever get. You'll be the favored son, at least until Emmett does the same."

That was a good point. That kind of ruled. Emmett would be jealous as hell.

"I would say we should call your dad, but I know he's working."

I snorted. "No, you know that my mother has probably already told him. I bet she texted his ass while she was talking to you. It's all good. I'll let him give me shit later."

Sure enough, my phone vibrated with an incoming text from my father.

Congratulations, son. You've made your mother's, and my, day. We're so happy for you. I have to get back to work because your mother is in the process of bankrupting me while she buys up every baby item ever made. My granddaughter is going to be the most unspoiled, spoiled child ever. And she's going to rule us all, you the most. I can't wait. I'll call you later.

I showed the text to Reed Girl, and she smiled. "We have a wonderful family."

"We do." And I expected all of them to help me keep the boys away. It was on all of us, now. It takes a village, right?