Talyak - I did say MPreg in the description, so the test result shouldn't be the surprise. Wait for it...

Chapter 16

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"Congratulations," Yakomo-sensei said, without any joy. "You're going to be a father. Who is she?"

"What?" Joey stared, hoping he misheard her.

"Who left the sample on my desk?"

"Me."

"Who is the girl who gave you the sample?"

"It's mine." Joey sat heavily in a chair. "I'm gonna have a father?"

"Jounouchi-kun. Focus. Are you telling me that it was your urine?" He nodded. "Ok. Then, you're going to be a mother. We'll have to update your medical records. So who's the father?"

"Oh fuck!" Joey got up and began pacing. "I told him I can't get knocked up! I don't have ovaries."

"Jounouchi, I can't answer that. Maybe it was just an error. Tell me who your boyfriend is."

Joey shook his head. "I can't. He'll flip out. Besides, I'm not keeping it. No. No way."

"That's a decision for you and your family. But you have to tell the father. I've already called your mother. I believe she's on her way. You are suspended from school until you return with a doctor's note saying that you've seen an obstetrician. It's not a demerit on your records, it's just so we know you're not trying to hide the condition. Do you want to go back to class or stay here?"

"I'll stay here."

Mom came in livid. "Unbelievable! I even bought you condoms! I tried to be cool. I tried to trust you!"

"Kawaii-san," Yakomo-sensei got her attention, "Jounouchi is the one who's pregnant."

"What? Don't be stupid! Yes, Kat is Male Hermaphrodite, but he doesn't have ovum! He can't get pregnant."

"Mom," Joey wanted to say something to make her less disappointed, but he couldn't think of anything. "It was my pee."

She looked at him as the meaning sunk in. "Then the test must be wrong. We'll just go get a better test."

It was a long night. Joey cried through half of it. He dialed Kaiba's number twice but hung up before his ex could answer.

The next morning, Joey and his mom went to a clinic. They took blood and urine. They took an ultrasound. They took an x-ray. They did a sonogram.

The doctor joined them while Joey was still on the table. "Well, Kawaii-san, Joey-san. You are pregnant. It looks like about 15 weeks."

"But how -" Joey tried to sit up but couldn't quite.

"We're not sure at the moment. I can say that your records are correct - you do not have ovum so you could not be the mother of this child. But we will need a complete list of everyone you have had sexual contact with in order to determine how this occurred."

"It's a short list," Mom said. "You started dating Kaiba-sama four months ago, right?"

"...uh, yeah." He sighed. He did not want to bring this up. "And there was a girl, one time, before Kaiba."

"Katsuya!"

"One time, Mom," he defended lamely.

"So how many times does it take? You started dating four months ago, you're four months pregnant! How many -"

"Frequency notwithstanding," the doctor spoke over both of them, "you are likely the gestational parent. We need to determine who the biologicals are."

xXxXxXx

It was a management team meeting. All of the senior staff, the board, and even a few mid-level managers were in the conference room.

Kawaii burst in anyway.

She rushed past everyone. "Sorry about the interruption," she said casually, as if she weren't creating a scene. "I won't be a moment." She stopped beside Seto and dropped a thick envelope in front of him. "That's everything. You can drop it in the mail."

"That's everything of what?" Seto waved his own question away. "This is not the time or place. Come to my office later this week."

"No, I will not! You can fire me if you want, but you have been hiding from Katsuya for a month. We need the paternity results, now that's confirmed Kat's not the father. It has to be you."

"Paternity?" Finance interceded. "Kawaii-san, are you pregnant?"

"No, Minato-san, my son is. And Kaiba is the only possible father."

Seto hid his shock. "Unless you all have been lying to me, it is not possible for your son to be pregnant, and I have never touched your daughter."

"Yes, well, we are also trying to get maternity results because Katsuya isn't the mother either."

At the festival, Ishtar claimed that their sister was 'in heat'. Seto thought that was proverbial, but if she was in fact ovulating when Katsuya was with her, she was a Reverse. He stated that they had 'done' each other, but would never be more specific. She could have implanted an egg if what she'd 'done' was intercourse.

Which Seto then virtually drowned in semen. If that is what occurred, then they were lucky if it was only a single ovum. The 'wet dog' would be carrying a litter of puppies otherwise. Seto's puppies….

"This meeting is dismissed." Seto stood up abruptly and gathered his notes. "Kawaii, come."