Chapter 3 (2020)
Disclaimer: I do not own Inside Out.
It was very early in the morning, perhaps about 6 AM. NT Joy's alarm gently rang, and she rolled over in bed with a practiced, ladylike calm. She blinked the sleep out of her eyes and peered under the door. Noting that the space was illuminated, she could only figure that Director was up and preparing for the day- not a surprise.
NT Joy hesitated slightly as she recalled yesterday's anxiety attack, and a sad smile came over her face. However, she banished any morbid thoughts and instead opened her wardrobe, which was full of Crystal's real-life print tops. Like all of the emotions, she was disturbed but unsurprised by Crystal's mounting performance anxiety. Crystal went to a top high school, and was aiming to be at the top of her class. Whether she and the other emotions liked the anxiety or not was irrelevant- it would remain until Crystal got an appointment with a psychiatrist and Director struck a compromise with Crystal's mental health team.
She also knew that in order for Crystal to become her best self in the world, there would be a great deal of struggle and sacrifice. Director understood that very well, so she allowed Crystal to fret about and eliminate her undesirable characteristics without letting her get as far as full-out panic or self-harm. Anyways, NT Joy had the utmost faith in her creator's ability to propel Crystal's success. If there was ever a problem with any of Director's plans, it was a fluke to be immediately resolved.
She did wish the anxiety wasn't so disruptive sometimes. But she would flit around Headquarters, productive as ever, because Director had come to her and clarified her role in Crystal's well-being. "You cannot let Crystal descend into lonely angst, which your ND colleagues would have her do," NT Joy recalled Director commanding. "Your job is to show her the light in this harsh world, and have her spread that light to all of her friends in an appropriate manner."
And this NT Joy did. Sliding on a flowery top and spandex leggings, she exited her bedroom chamber, only to come face-to-face with her closest compatriot, NT Disgust. These two were the most vital to Crystal's success in the neurotypical world, and they had become best friends even before Director authorized them to come to Headquarters. Disgust was attractive, snarky and betraying no insecurity.
"Morning!" NT Joy called out brightly. "How'd you sleep last night, Fashion Girl?"
Disgust laughed and cast an amused eyeroll at her friend. "Pretty darn great," she lied, knowing her creator would want none of the Dream Duty dispute betrayed. "So what's up in your fun little world?"
NT Joy flashed a radiant, picture-perfect smile and said breezily, "Oh, I was just thinking about this weekend with Alexis!" Alexis was Crystal's closest friend from school, and she had invited Crystal to her family's mountain lake house that weekend. "I can't wait to see her family and the doggies!"
Last time Crystal had gone to the lakehouse, one of Alexis' dogs had curled up next to Crystal while her dad drove the family boat over some bumpy waves. It had been a real thrill, and Director had been thankful for the dog's comforting weight.
NT Disgust cast a sardonic look and said, "Well, let's just not touch the underside of the deck this time- the algae!" Her face quickly darkened and she added, "and let's not jump into the lake again when we can't swim, even with a life jacket. That felt like we were drowning."
Joy's smile disappeared for a second, and she reassured her friend, "You know that won't happen again. We will be fine."
Both sets of eyes flicked toward the control room, which they had now reached. To neither's surprise, a certain purple emotion had already taken her place at the center of the console as Crystal scrolled through Quizlet flashcards. "Good morning," she said, just before Crystal's dad called out that breakfast was ready.
"Morning, Director," both NT emotions chorused in unison.
Today was a quiz day- not quite as pivotal as a test day, but close, especially when the quiz was difficult. Crystal's quiz today was in English, a class where very few grades were put in the gradebook, so the pressure to perform well was high. Not one for idle chatter in these moments, Fear was all business from the moment Crystal had awoken. "NT Joy, come drive for me- I need to check that Ac/Plan has perfect worker attendance this morning. NT Disgust, please unload the deliveries from line T2," she ordered, with no sign of last night's weakness.
NT Joy took her place at the console and watched over Crystal's breakfast as she discussed the upcoming day with her family. Her friend stepped into a nearby elevator and disappeared downstairs to the Headquarters train station, soon to return with boxes from the secondary Train of Thought.
Even as the neurodiverse emotions filed into the control room, everyone was a mask of orderliness and control. Nothing could distract Crystal from her ultimate mission. No emotion wanted to see her get less than a 98% in English, and Fear would reprimand any who disrupted her machine.
Seeing as there was no need for Crystal to exhibit anything but neurotypical behaviors at school, the four NDs, with the exception of Sadness, who seemed deep in thought, retired to a side nook to read the day's Crystal Post. Flipping past the cover story on today's quiz and a secondary story on the visit with Alexis, ND Joy located a specialized column: "Is Partially-Hydrogenated Peanut Butter Worth the Nutritional Cost?" What followed was a very specialized analysis of the mind's perspective and specific memories of peanut butter, which the focused emotion dug into with glee.
Fear wasn't a fan of these types of stories- she would prefer that the newspaper be covered with socially popular topics, but she recognized that the neurodiverse emotions needed material to satisfy their strange cravings on obscure topics. For now, though, she ignored her colleagues and focused on getting Crystal ready for the quiz that would determine her fate.
A loud bell, 5 beeps on the note of G (as the Cello Island Mind Workers had one day noticed) sounded through the history classroom. Crystal rose from her seat, hurriedly collecting her belongings and catching up with her friend Sasha.
As it was before any quiz, Crystal's heart rate skyrocketed. She felt lightheaded when she used up even more of her energy on a conversation with Sasha. With a single finger, Fear directed NT Joy away from the console, and conversation ceased.
Crystal and Sasha arrived in English class and took their seats. Crystal recalled with longing all of the times that her teacher had begun class with creative journals rather than a quiz, but quickly banished those thoughts. This was here, this was now, and Crystal was going to perform well. She had to, or she would face the consequences. She shuddered once. Compared to her chattering classmates, Crystal's face was a mask of determined stone.
In the Mind World, Fear "powered up." As usual, video screens with different departments from Academic/Planning Island appeared, and the sound of the pencils of rows of Mind Workers filled the room. A large, red light flicked on outside Headquarters, enforcing quiet from all non-essential Mind Workers. Fear sat commandingly at the center of the console, her expression mirroring Crystal's. Her hands flew over the controls as she peered at Alan, stiff in his position on the Island.
Perhaps most importantly, a large screen with "15%" in the middle displayed next to Crystal's vision. Fear ignored this for the moment and instead raised her right hand for silence. All of the Mind Workers on the Island immediately stilled and raised their eyes towards her on their respective screens.
"Ac/Plan, prepare for departmental role call," she stated as most of the other emotions plopped down on Headquarters' couch, not needed at a time without social interaction. Her voice carried easily to the rest of the mind.
"Department of Study," Fear began.
"Present," replied a Mind Worker.
"Department of Elimination."
"Present."
"Department of Written Language, Section E." 'E' stood for English, since Ac/Plan had a department of written language for each subject, even math.
"Present."
The usual sensation of zipping energy filled Headquarters. Each and every assessment was something Fear and Ac/Plan treated as if it were a rocket flight.
Fear's roll call went on for the next few seconds. Then, the replies started to change.
"Department of Deduction."
"Standby."
"Department of Written Language, Section H." The disgruntled history department readied itself to discuss the historical setting of the class's book if necessary.
"Standby."
"Department of Elementary Arithmetic."
"50% power, Director." Only half of the department's Mind Workers were present, simply for the purpose of ensuring Crystal marked the multiple choice questions correctly.
The roll call came to a close as Crystal's English teacher began passing out the quizzes.
Fear gestured to the large screen with the number in the center. "At time equals zero, cognitive power is 15 percent, expected to climb to 60 percent and steady. All other metrics at zero, maximum metrics estimated at the following: Long Term Storage retrieval rate 7 memories per second, creativity quotient 2, analytical power at 45 percent capacity."
Most of the other emotions ignored these technical cognitive metrics- that was Fear and the Mind Workers' territory, and they were just eager to get the quiz over with.
"Thank you," Crystal breathed to a classmate as she got up out of the seat to retrieve her paper. The moment Crystal's back hit her chair, Fear's most forceful command to the Island came. "Engage."
The percentage on the screen rapidly began to increase as the Mind Workers conversed over the quiz questions, most of which were identifying who had said a quote- or who the quote had been said to- in the English class's required reading. Outside, the Island began to reverberate, all of the emotions feeling its literal brainpower under their feet.
Fear's heart rate slowed while looking at the questions. Yes, Crystal had studied all of this and more. Perfect. For the most part, Fear remained silent as Ac/Plan led Crystal to circle and write answers. She gave periodic updates on the metrics to Mind Workers who did not have the time to look at them. Eventually, she proclaimed, "CP at 60%. Hold steady," and Alan visibly relaxed his hold on a silver lever on the Island.
Only once did she give another command; when the Department of Study hesitated on who a quote had been said to, Fear said, "Proceed," sure that the department could reinvestigate that one later on.
Memory after memory of studying shot through the recall tube, projecting briefly onto the screen before either Fear or the Mind Workers dismissed it.
The other emotions emitted a small sigh of relief. Fear was never this silent during a quiz unless Ac/Plan was fully assured in its knowledge. The two Joys gave each other a high five, but Fear wasn't relaxing yet. As if she ever did.
A few desks away, Crystal's friend Sean struggled to answer the questions. He had forgotten about the quiz and had only been reminded this morning by Crystal herself. Whereas Crystal had studied for over an hour, he'd hoped his existing knowledge would suffice.
Sean's mental preparation for the quiz was nothing like Crystal's. School was not a passion of his, so his academic preparation did not take place on an island but rather inside a processing center near Long Term Memory. His emotions didn't communicate with the center, either. They only interfered if they were sure some Mind Worker had gone bananas.
"Oh jeez," Sean's Disgust commented as Sean turned the paper over to view a cryptic quote. "Who said that…?"
"I dunno, man, I just want us to get back home so we can practice clarinet," Joy replied with longing.
His emotions stared out the window at a musical Personality Island. Only Anger noticed the processing center's mistake. "No, Sarah didn't say that, Catherine did." He pressed a button on the console. Sean erased the name "Sarah" and replaced it with Catherine. Satisfied, Anger turned away from the console as the processing center looked over Sean's answers again.
"Oh, school," sighed Joy. "Thanks, Anger."
"At least it's not math!" laughed Anger, and as the "m-word" came out, a tiny spark detached itself from the top of his head.
"Do you think this might lower our grade? Should we have studied more?" Fear asked shyly.
"Sean knows enough on here to get a B, and come out with an A average in the class. He will be fine," said Joy. "An A is an A, that's what matters. Our Sean is a smart guy already and he doesn't need to be hitting the books for hours."
"Like Crystal," remarked Disgust. "She keeps making sour faces when she gets, like, a 95. She's so extra!"
"Yeah, so extra she can barely practice cello. But, as Sean says to her, we all have our passions and dislikes," Sadness reminded them.
Anger conceded the point internally but not externally. "All I can say is that her emotions must be quite the interesting bunch."
Yep, Sean was definitely a smart guy.
As Crystal successfully answered every single quiz question- including the one that Ac/Plan had stumbled over before- she raised her hand for her teacher to come take the quiz. Fear rattled off the ending cognitive power metrics before the teacher grabbed the quiz.
"Completed," Fear concluded, "predicted high A. Well done, Ac/Plan. Return to normal activities. I will be contacting you later."
The video screens disappeared, and only Crystal's main screen remained. NT Joy returned to the console as the rest of the class had their quizzes collected and Crystal's teacher told the class to give him a minute to get coffee.
Crystal turned to Sean and asked, "How'd it go?"
Sean grimaced, "Eh. Not so good. I didn't know a lot of those. But I'll be fine, I didn't study because I was at a clarinet masterclass last night. Like it's whatever." He shrugged and smirked at Crystal. "How'd you do?"
Crystal crossed her fingers. "I think I did well. I studied for almost an hour. Quote identification is a rough one, so I needed to study lots!"
Another classmate turned around and regarded Crystal a bit desperately. "Do you even know how to do the lui/leur objects in French?!" she exclaimed. "He said someone got a 100 on that test even though he taught it so badly, was it you?!"
Fear let a rare smile show through as NT Joy answered. "Yeah, it was. I can help you! Text me! But he's not a great teacher, so I understand," NT Disgust helped Crystal add sheepishly.
The classmate said, "Okay, thanks," and started chattering about her French teacher with Sasha in the desk next to her. The discussion quickly turned to clothes as both girls showed off their new jean shorts. Fear made a mental note to assemble a committee so that Crystal could participate in discussions on this topic.
At last, the teacher re-entered the room, closed the door, and started going over the day's lesson plan. Fear pressed a few buttons on the console, and Crystal stopped talking, sat up straight and picked up her pencil. Academic/Planning Island started bouncing again outside as Fear called out mentally to Alan.
Ready to raise our hand more than anyone else and show him what we've got? Fear asked.
You bet, Alan replied, and a smirk formed on Fear's lips as she began assigning the other emotions tasks to complete.
The class went on. Crystal's order went on. She was in her element. For now.
Phew, that was a long chapter! Please leave a review or message me about any aspects of this you don't understand. I know it is heavy in technical terminology, forgive me- my neurodiverse emotions love all of those details.
I really think this chapter begs one question: is Crystal truly human, or is she just her perfectionistic Director's puppet with a thin layer of neurotypical small talk on top? Fear not- the next chapter will address this question as it delves into Crystal's past (I decided not to address that right away) and the neurodiverse emotions, the five she was born with.
Wash your hands, stay at home when possible, stay safe, and stay tuned!
~Crowgranger916