A/N This is just a bit of silliness from me to you to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a fantastic New Year! I'll be back soon with another outtake, but this goes with the season and is inspired by my own torture of my cats. I hope you have fun with it! Merry Christmas! I love you all!

A Rainbow Christmas

What was this indignity? It was entirely unacceptable.

"Pretty, Rainbow!"

Yes, I was quite pretty. Gorgeous, even. And I didn't need anything added to my natural beauty.

"What are you up to, baby girl?"

Daddy came up and grinned at us. Finally. He would save me.

"I'm making Rainbow pretty."

Humph. I already was. Everybody knew it. I waited patiently for Daddy to correct Dani.

"She's very pretty now, baby. You did a good job!"

Now? What was that nonsense? I was always pretty. Did Daddy need his eyes checked? Maybe we should call the people doctor. Not my doctor. He was evil. And I didn't need any shots. No way, no how.

"Reed Girl! Check this out!"

Well, if Daddy wasn't going to save me, then Mommy would. Surely she would understand that I was perfection on my own and didn't need anything on me.

"Oh my God! Isn't that the cutest thing?"

Or maybe not. Why was everyone betraying me? Did I have to do everything myself? Fine. I was smart enough to get out of this on my own. Now how did I go about it?

I angled my head to the left, which tilted the abomination on my head, but it didn't dislodge. Rude. So I tried the right. It just went back to where it had been. Okay, then. This was more difficult than I expected, but nothing could keep Rainbow down. I would conquer this challenge. Rest assured.

Mom started with the flashy things again, cooing and laughing along with Dani and Daddy. Betrayal. Plain and simple. They were enjoying my pain. They would have to pay for that later. There were plenty of things they loved that could make their way into my special stash. Oh yes, they'd be losing things tonight, if I could ever get this infernal thing off my head.

"Oh, this would be cute. Add this!"

Mom plunked a ribbon-the one I'd been batting around before I'd been made to suffer this indignity-onto my back and started flashing the light at me again.

"It's so cute! She's a present! Sitting in front of the tree in ribbons and that Santa hat."

Hat? That's what was on me? I didn't know what that was, probably because I shouldn't have one on me. It itched. And it had strings, which I wanted to play with, but I couldn't because it was under my chin.

I lifted my paw, trying my darndest to get the thing off my face.

"I took it off my Santa doll," Dani said, clapping her hands.

Whatever the the Santa doll was was going to pay. It would be no more by the end of this day. Mark my words.

"What a good idea!"

No, it wasn't a good idea. It wasn't good at all. I raised my face and looked right at Daddy. He understood me in a way that they didn't. He would fix this.

"Meow!" I yelled in my angriest voice.

Daddy's eyes widened. "Uh-oh. She's p-i-s-s-e-d."

Mommy laughed. Clearly she was underestimating my rage.

"She can't be that mad. She actually sat there and let Dani put it on her."

That had been my foolish mistake. I tried to be gentle with the baby. Daddy told me all the time that I had to be good. And I was. I was the best. And yet I paid for being good by being forced to wear an itchy awful hat on my head. What was the point of being good if I was going to be treated this way?

"Bo!"

Hmm, perhaps the boy would help me. He was younger, more moldable than Dani was. That's right, boy. Pet Rainbow. Pet my head and knock the hat off. You can do it. I know you can.

"Pretty Bo!"

Yes, we'd established that I was pretty. The hat was not the reason, though. I just was. Mommy said so from day one.

Ethan patted my head, and the hat started to tilt. That's right! That's right, Ethan. You're officially my favorite now.

"Be careful, sweetie. You're going to knock Rainbow's hat off."

But that was the goal! Damn you, woman. Free me! I demand it!

I let out my most imperious meow. They all just laughed at me. This would not be tolerated!

"Better take the pictures while you can, Reed Girl. Rainbow's about to blow."

If he could see that, why wasn't he doing anything about it? Daddy and I were a team. He always said so.

"I know! She just looks so adorable."

That had been established long ago. The flashes continued, and then a light shone on me.

"I'm videoing it."

Whatever that meant. It was clear that my entire family was enjoying my suffering and that I'd have to free myself. First things first. The ribbon wasn't tied on me; it was just sitting on my back. I could take care of that easy enough.

I turned to the left again, trying to catch it, but that didn't work. Nor did the right. So I was forced to go in circles, appearing to chase my tail like those simpletons that Chelsea brought over to visit every now and then. They were so going to pay for this indignity.

And what did my family do as I tried fruitlessly to free myself from the torture devices they'd inflicted upon me? They laughed. Dani and Ethan clapped and giggled. Rude.

I shot Daddy the evil eye.

"Sorry, Rainbow. They're loving it." Daddy shrugged. "My hands are tied."

No! I was the one who was tied. I couldn't believe Daddy was ignoring my pain and suffering for their enjoyment. Didn't he know who was the most important here? It was me! I made that clear to them every single day. How dare he forget?

I let out a growl/yell combo that let everybody know that the fun was over. But they just laughed some more. Clearly I'd been taking it too easy on them lately. They thought they were in charge. Foolish family.

I turned to the left again. I still couldn't reach the ribbon. Damn it. Okay. Time to think, Rainbow. You're smarter than everyone else. You can get out of this. If only I could reach just a little bit more…Darn it.

Okay, if I couldn't get it off with my paws or my mouth, and they were going to be rude enough not to help me, I needed to use something or someone else. Nobody else was here right now besides the betrayers, so it was up to me.

I looked around the room, and if I could laugh like they did, I would let one out now. I had it! I walked over to the bench they sat on when they gave the pretty sounds and rubbed my head against the legs. That was it! The hat was getting loose. Just a little bit more, this way, and that way, and yes! Victory is mine! You can't keep Rainbow down, silly humans!

The hat fell around my neck, the ties having loosened but not completely coming off. That was fine because now I could reach it with my mouth. I yanked once, twice, and on the third pull, off it came. I was free!

Well, I was mostly free. I rolled onto my side and arched my back against the chair thingy. One rub and yes! Rainbow wins, just like always! Take that, family!

I stood and glared at them. They were still laughing, for some unknown reason.

Daddy reached over and picked me up, cuddling me to his chest, which was where I belonged. But I was mad at him, so I didn't cuddle like I usually did. I shared my displeasure with a yell and a paw to his chin.

"I know, Rainbow, but you really did look cute."

Duh. I always did. I didn't have to wear silly itchy hats and ribbons to be cute. Ribbons were to play with. Actually, the strings on the hat kind of looked like fun. I might have to play with that later, once I hid it in my stash. They weren't getting that thing on me again.

"You're a good girl, Rainbow."

Mommy patted my head. I turned away from her. She'd laughed at my suffering.

"Looks like we're in trouble," she told Daddy.

Yes. Yes, you are. And just because Daddy is holding and petting me, and it feels good and right, doesn't mean I'm going to forget what you've done to me. There must be retribution. Vengeance is mine.

"She won't stay mad for long, will you, Rainbow?"

Daddy lifted me so I could see into his face. It was a good face and I liked it, a lot, but I was still mad. I wouldn't be coddled into forgetting. I wouldn't be…

"Such a good girl."

And then Daddy put his lips on top of my head. He didn't do that often, but he had to know I couldn't resist it.

"Thanks for tolerating Dani dressing you up, Rainbow," he murmured in my ear. It felt good. "You never let me down."

Of course I didn't. We were a team, even if he forgot it and let me suffer.

Daddy stood and took Dani's hand, carrying me with them.

"Come on, princess. Let's go put the hat back on Santa."

I put my paw on his face. Really? No more hat?

He did that thing where he showed me his teeth, in the nice way, not the way I did to the other cats.

"I've got your back, Rainbow. Always. Merry Christmas."

We were a team again. Perhaps I would spare his shoes. Perhaps. Merry Christmas, Daddy.