Author's note at bottom, please read and review, it gives me life... Cause it's what a man strives for!
To-Love Ru is owned by Saki Hasemi and Kentaro Yabuki 'The MVP'
Spider-Man is owned by marvel
Why am I here?
No Literally, Why am I standing in some alleyway in boy's clothes? Ren is the one who wants to go to some stupid school on this stupid planet to see that STUPID girl... And I ain't the only asking... just I am not being a little bitch about it.
"Damn it, Run! You are wasting my time to see Lala-Chan! Why did you make us switch?!"
I didn't, you were the one to sneeze, jackass...
"Nevermind, just put me in control now, It is my destiny to meet with Lala-chan and ignite our flame of-"
Ugh.. Tuning THAT out, geez... I do NOT want to hear about how He and Deviluke are just meant to be together... I'm seriously lucky He can't hear my deep thoughts, where I can say what's really on my mind... to the only one who actually cares. Whoop.
I take a look around at my location, and I have to admit, It's a hell of a lot better my homeworld, that piece of shit... But I know it's a temporary thing, once Ren win's THAT girl's favor, We'll be going 'home'... Not that it was ever home to me, Hell crying in the cardboard boxes of Deviluke was more of a home...
Bad memories, go away! Ugh! Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, The location. It's just a road that scrunched up between buildings, really nothing special. Was I doing something?
"Run!" Ren's voice broke through again "You stupid idiot! I have to find-!"
"Excuse me, miss? Are you lost? On the way to Sainan high?"
Wow, I'm actually in awe that voice got Ren to shut up. Oh wait, the voice was taking to me? Huh? There's no one else here, Dear god, does my head have another voice?!
"Ma'am, I'm up here."
I heard the voice from above clearly now and... okay, what? I see a guy(?) in a red and blue bodysuit crouching on top of the wall in front of me.
Is that a thing on this planet? Oh wait, He asked a question. "U-Uh, yeah.." Dear lord, My voice is hoarse, how long has it been since I actually used my mouth to talk? Not as long as since stop listening to me.
"Well then, It's a good thing your friendly neighborhood taxi service is here to save the day, cause if my math is correct, you are late in about... 10 minutes of this 30 minute walk."
"WHAT?! DAMN IT RUN!"
"You said taxi service, right?" I said, ignoring the prick "What do you mean?"
Okay, He hopped of the wall and is wrapping an arm around my waist and-Wait what? He's leaping REALLY high in the air and.. Did his arm just fire something?
And now He's swinging, Like when THAT girl swung on that chandelier, but this doesn't feel like it would put me in a cast,,, and was... Just fun! "Yahoo!"
"Haha! Like that now, don'tcha? I don't give rides for EVERY pretty girl I meet."
Huh, Pretty?... Why is my face heating up?
"Oh! Here's your stop!" Uh? Stop? But I don't wanna...
"Thank god, I feel nauseous...For a man."
Even better now, I wanna do this for hours and... He has a nice heartbeat, really. Good chest too.
He touches down on a roof and removes his arm and claps his hands. "Okay, The door is unlocked, and down the stairs, look for the disciplinary committee and they'll have you set up and you can start classes... I'll be leaving.. Bye." He leaps over a railing and I was left in silence.
...Yeah right. "That guy seems like an idiot."
Says the real idiot, going after the explosive child. I walk down the stairs and try to look for this 'Disciplinary committee', maybe this sign can help?.. uh... Is it me or is everything REALLY... blurry? I mean I have get super close to the sign just to read the words and... Boy's bathroom. Geez...
Wait, is that a bee? Near my n- Oh no... Not again! I don't wanna go y-y-
"Ah Ah... ACHOO!"
Rito sat at his desk with a small smile, helping the new girl had made him feel really good inside, and depending on circumstance, maybe He can make a new friend if the girl was in his class. 'Maybe I should have asked her name, though it would have been if I knew who she was when I technically never met her. Oh well.'
"Yo Rito." Ken said, sitting in his assigned seat near Rito's "Where were you? I was waiting by the front gate for you."
Rito rubbed his spiky head "Oh, uh... I just got here a little early, sorry bro.."
Ken just flicked his arm "It's cool man. Hey, Where's Lala-Chan?" He said looking around for any sight of pink hair.
"Hello~!" Speak of the Deviluke, She shall appear. Lala came bouncing into the classroom, quickly followed by Haruna meeting up with Haruna's posse of pervy pals. Heh, Alliteration...
"Huh? When did you guys get so close?" Ken said confused, looking at Rito for answers who looked away
"Uh... Mikan, Lala and I went to the aquarium a couple of days ago... Lala set the penguins loose on Haruna-Chan." That was a pain, having grab every feathery friend and having to do it with battle damaged suit from Scorpion, At least He finished the patchwork yesterday so people would stop mentioning the hole in his butt.
"And thus, in only a few days, Lala-Chan has succeeded in the mission you've been on since middle school."
And Rito felt like a building had fell him "Yeah..." Rito slumped in his seat in depression, only thing missing is a raincloud.
Kenichi just laughs off at his friends misery as the teacher arrived and everyone took their seats
"Well, This is rather unexpected, But I will like to introduce you all to another new student."
Everyone perked up at this, surprised but very excited, they began to gossip with their friends while Rito gave a knowing smile.
"think it will be be a hot girl again?" Ken whispered over to Rito, having a little trail of drool down his mouth.
"Down boy, heel.." Rito joked, but shrugged "Most likely though, if science is to go by."
"Yay science!"
"You may come in now" Honekawa-Sensai called into the hallway wit the door opening to reveal... a boy. A boy with salt and pepper hair, red eyes and a Bishounen face that made all the girl, sans two, holler with the guys looking at them oddly today. The teacher ignored them or didn't notice "This is Ren Elcie Jewelria."
Ken looked over to Rito with a grave face "Science has failed me.."
"And after all my hard work.." Rito quipped, but was also confused. Two new students in the same day? That can't be coincidence...
Ren seemed to looked over the classroom with a bored expression, like He didn't really care. That was until He looked at their direction and made a show of marching over to them. The boys looked curiously as He walked past them and made a stop at the desk right behind Rito's.
Which was Lala's. He swiftly grasped her hands into his while gently gripping "I have finally found you, My bride..."
This sent shock waves thoughout the entire classroom: Random students gasped, Haruna blinked , Rito and Kenichi's jaws dropped at the revelation.
Ren had no hesitation on elaborating "Yes, Even if in an complex maze, you have led me to you with your shining beauty." He raised one hand to the sky "Even as a child, you personified perfection and as a fine young woman you have truly went beyond, My beautiful Lala-Chan!"
Rito's eyes widened as He processed the information: This guy knew Lala as a kid so He was an alien, but He didn't have a tail so Ren wasn't Devilukian, another race maybe? Did He had it cut off?
While the hero pondered his ears drifted to the sound of Risa, A.K.A. Dirty blonde say to her glassed friend "Ooo~ A mysterious from Lala-Chi's past? And a handsome one at that too?
Mio, The glasses girl, responded with "But Lala-Chi is with Yuuki, right? I smell a steamy love triangle? OR would Lala-Chi just take both at once?" For some reason, She drooled at the prospect.
"OoO~! I like the way you think!"
What the hell are they talking about!?
Lala who had been silent this whole made her peice of the conversation known "Uh... Do I know you?" She said with the upmost sincerity
Which only added to the whiplash such a statement could have caused: A dead silence only parted by Ren seemingly chocking on saliva as his head tilt as if he just got smacked by something.
He recovered as best He can and said while having his right hand cover his face "Haha... Well, I will not let myself be dissuaded by something as a lost memory," He removed to give a big oscar-winning smile... That was partially ruined by the tear in his eye "Because I am A MAN!"
Ken looked to Rito making an expression of 'Is this dude serious?'
Rito responded with an expression of 'Yeah... looks like it, that's the sad part.'
"But before I rekindle our flame, I must defeat the man most foul: Yuuki Rito!" Ren said pointing at!... A random student.
"I-I'm not Yuuki!"
"Oh, my apologies. There you are!" He said... pointing at another random student. He kept circling all the boys til He came up to Ken's desk, who had grown bored of the situation and was sketching himself on a boogeyboard while surfing. "I have you now, Yuuki Rito!"
"Close but no cigar, Kenichi Saruyama at your service." He said nonchalantly
Ren scowled before walking to the next boy "Are you He? Yuuki Rito?!"
The boy with spiky orange hair had his head propped up by arm with a bored expression "Oh no... You found me, Are you the world's greatest detective or something?..." Oh boy, He let his spidey out...
Ren glared at the boy and prepared to reach into his shirt before a loud harrumph caught his attention "Excuse me, but you have taken up half the class time, Ren-kun."
Ren halted his movement and blushed "Oh... uh... of course." He
Ken turned to Rito and flashed him a sketch: A crudely drawn Ren equaling A chicken plus a lollipop.
Rito couldn't help but agree with the equation.
Rito The bell rang, signaling the end of class as the student began to file out. Rito, Lala and Ken made their way out the door when they heard a charging sound
"Ta-ta-ta-ta-Ta?" Ren had tried to shove Rito out of the way of the door to lead Lala out but when He tried shoving him, Rito remained perfectly still. Angry, Ren put more strength into it and not getting any better result for a few seconds before, apparently Rito gave up and stepped out of the way, causing Ren to nearly trip as He adjusted to the new position
He straighten up and gestured to the door "After you."
Rito and Ken just stared deadpan as Lala nodded and walk on
Ren smiled as He allowed Lala to leave but was immediately replaced with a scowl as He turned to Rito before harrumphing and leaving with his nose in the air.
"What the perfect asshole..."
"Yeah.."
Classes went as per usual as with Ren trying to talk with Lala fruitlessly. When the next class ended, Ren stopped Rito while holding something
"Yuuki Rito, you have bested me in standing prowess but I shall demonstrate... My superior strength!" He said revealing what the item was: A copy of Shounen jump.
"Jump? What are you-"
*RIIIIIP!*
And with a mighty push of strength, Ren ripped the copy of shounen jump in half. allowing scattered pages to fall on the floor. He smirk satisfactory before turning on his heel and strutting away.
Rito stood in silence as He stared at the book "...What a waste of Jump," He bent over to pick up the scattered pages "And He doesn't even have the decency to pick- Hmm?" He stopped as He picked up half of the ruined book. It was his father's third and newest manga series, a take on a slice of life story with family elements, the one story without action in it. It wasn't really special compared to the other series but it was what his father wanted to dedicate his time to. But that wasn't what caught his eye..
It was the splash page to introduce the readers to the story with a bright vibrant cover..
And He was on it. Well, not him specifically but of Spider-Man carefully webbing up falling debris from the family, saving them. A caption reading 'Thanks to keeping the neighborhood friendly!'
He smiled, having found an upside to Ren's manga massacre
They had all stepped outside in their gym attire as the consensus on Ren was established by the guys: Ren was an asshole. Only to them however, He seemed to treat the girls way better, because He was a firm believer of 'All women are queens' which made all guys groan. Not that they had anything against women or anything...
It was just really cringey...
The boys took their places on the track and got ready for a run, when the run began, most of the boys had maintain a nice jog while huddled together with a few go-getters leading the pack.
Rito had intentionally made it his mission to get slightly above average in his run, the same as it was before. With his new speed and stamina, He could probably have done several laps by now but that would draw too much attention to him...
Which was what Ren was doing.
He was apparently going beyond his limits if the bloodcurdling screams were anything to go by, but we was currently leaving everyone with a junk in the dust . After everyone was done with the required amount, they stopped to look at Ren still going. It was honestly getting on all of their nerves.
After Ren finally stopped, He smugly announced to the class that He had done so more times than Yuuki Rito in the smuggest way possible "Aha! I have completed the 100-meter dash before Yuuki! Victory!" Only the girls seemed polite enough to applaud.
Rito sighed, wiping his forehead of a bit sweat "Sheez, what a blowheart..."
Suddenly, a towel was presented to him. He looked to see Lala smiling at him "Here you go~!" Smiling, Rito took while muttering a thanks and wiped his face.
Ren trotted along towards the two while smirking "Well Lala-Chan, How was it? Am I manly now?"
Lala tapped her lip with her finger while looking to the sky for for a second then at Rito before replying with "I don't really know...:
Ren once again began to hack his saliva before swallowing "W-Well.. That is fine, something like that will not get to me... Because I am a man!"
Rito cringed really hard, was He trying to make that a catchphrase? Cause it was just terrible...
Ren dug right into his shirt while smiling and pulling out his wallet. "A man... with a purpose! Allow to demonstrate the purpose of my resolve." He opened the wallet and showed a picture. It had two children: One was a smiling pink haired girl and the other was-
"Are you wearing a dress?"
The second child was, apparently, a boy with salt and pepper hair in a dress. That made something Lala's mind click "Ahh~! Now I remember! Cry-baby Ren!"
Rito looked at her like She had sprouted a second head while Ren smiled "Yes, Lala-Chan had made many comparison's to me being a girl but had answered my marriage proposal when we were children with that If I became a man, she would become my bride!"
Rito stared at the boy for a moment before turning to Lala "Seriously?"
Lala simply shrugged "I don't really know, it has been a long time since we've been together..."
Ren ignored that and pointed at Rito "Do you see? Our bond runs deep in our heart, you cannot even begin to compare!"
Rito frowns but can't really argue against childhood friendship... but was that even right? Lala doesn't even remember the guy and He has all this planned..
The bell rings signaling the next period, a study hall. Lala and Rito changed into their uniforms and walked "Haruna is inviting me to the library, wanna come?"
Rito sighed "Can't, I have to repair my web-shooters from that fight with scorpion and begin work on the tracers I'm working on." He whispered
Lala looked a little disappointed but understood, "Okay, I'll tell them you said hi." She said before walking off
Rito made his way to a lab and pulled out his materials he needed for repairs and construction. The web shooter was mostly fine but the spinneret He used to fire his webs was completely melted, so He had to make a new one here, along with the mechanism He planned to shoot his tracers with. The spider tracer will have a plenty of parts from various items, He had earlier went to a dumpster and as able to find a plethora of thrown away calculators he could used to assemble the tracer with a few long life batteries from a corner store. Now as He began to file out the piece He need for the spinneret, He realized He needed a way to USE the tracer...
His ideal method would probably look around for a broken smartphone and just sync it with that but the odds of finding a phone like that in the trash was highly unlikely especially in japan, He couldn't exactly use his computer as he couldn't lug that desktop all over Sainan... Maybe... Maybe He could be like Iron man And use a interface! That could work but... Where exactly would get materials for something like that?
"Yuuki Rito!"
Oh great, just what He wanted... He shifted the webshooter back to his bag as He turns to face the voice "Yes Ren?"
Ren glared and crossed his arms "How could you leave Lala-Chan all alone?"
"She isn't, She's with friends. Look, what do you want?" Rito said really wanting the other boy to leave so He could work
"That isn't all I had to say, true.. What I want to know is why Lala-Chan seems to hold you in high regard when I'm obviously the more superior."
There He goes sucking his own Popsicle again "I'm just being a friend, nothing more or less."
"When I finished my run, She gave you a towel. When We had lunch, She sat with you and not me."
"So what?"
"I will make her realize I am the person She should be with, not some weak insolent earthling.." He said with a certain venom.
Rito glared "Whoa, pretty big words huh?"
Ren matched it "It would be much easier for all of us if you give Lala-Chan to me, this world hardly suits her."
"Like We discussed with big papa, She is her own person and She likes it here." His sense kicked in, He saw the telltale signs of a punch about to be seen, so He able to easily dodge Ren's pitiful right hook
Ren, flustered, turns to the exit "No matter! I will succeed Yuuki Rito, that I am certain!"
Rito sighed going back to work "Yeah right, over my dead body.."
After school, Ren waited at the gates for Lala-Chan but She did not arrive for some reason. He waited until dark until He made his trek to his ship which was his base of operations.,It just on the other side of a park so He took a walk though it. He began to see various couples appear as id to mock him, HIM! This day was not going according to plan...
But inside of the negative nancy, the inner personality inside had never had a better day ever! It wasn't just because Life had finally took the silver spoon out of Ren's mouth, okay, it was mostly that but also the fact that the world was more interesting than She had given it credit for. That boy tho... Yuuki Rito was it? He looked rather cute but sadly had to hang out with Deviluke, so He probably wasn't that bright.
Ren sighed "Okay seriously, why are their so many couples here?!" He looked to the left, He sees a couple walking hand in hand, to the right was a couple... Locking lips?! He picked up the speed to get out of this hell hole.
"Maron!"
He turned his head to a voice that shouted and saw a girl chasing after a dog, a familar one at that? "Isn't that the class rep?"
a second passed by "Yeeep"
Well it was the same way, so he'd do the manly thing and help capture the creature. He managed to catch up to the class rep as the creature to use the restroom on a nearby tree. They were near the West entry point to the park, not too far from his ship
"Finally caught it?" Ren made himself known to the girl who turned his way
"Oh, Ten-San, am I correct?"
Ten nodded "Why yes, class rep."
The class rep stood up holding the creature "Oh my name is Sairenji Haruna."
He nodded "Very well. Little hyper isn't it?"
Sairenji laughed weakly "Maron goes crazy when he sees a butterfly, I'm sorry if we bothered you."
"Not at all! A man doesn't let a mere distraction get in his way!"
Sairenji nodded, tighening the grip on the creatures leash "Well, I hope you have a-"
"Fire! Help!"
Screaming from down the the road and and glowing light caught their attentions, as Maron makes another break for it.
"Oh no!" Sairenji said, running after the creature.
Ren, out of curiousity followed the girl who ran down the street as they stopped in the middle of the road, with the animal parking at the light. The light blinded Ren for a moment as He covered his face with his arm to dampen the effects. After a moment, He let it fell and He sawed the source
Ren looked at the building in shock. The entire complex was burning, and while the fire department was putting it out, it looked ready to collapse in any moment.
"Please let me in!"
Ren, Run and Haruna's attentions were pulled to a screaming voice, a woman who was in tears
"Please my baby's in there, you gotta let save my baby!"
"No! The building will collapse in any second!"
"Please!"
"Oh No..." Both the girls gasped as Haruna covers her mouth, Ren looked away whether to look away from the grieving woman or to simply not watch the inferno continue, He didn't know but one thing was clear. That baby was lost no matter how much that woman pleaded.
"Please!"
"Look! Up there!"
Ren turned to see a random civilian pointing to the air, which He followed to a rooftop to see.. the red and blue weirdo from earlier? He was swinging by now? What was He doing here?
The woman caught sight of the figure and with the last of her strength, screamed "Save my baby please!"
The figure lined his shot in way to care swing to the top floor, breaking the window and entering the blaze. Everyone on the ground waited with baited breath as time seemed to drag without sign of the figure. Ren looked on suspense while Run gave a comment
"He actually went in..."
Ren scoffed "He's a deadman..."
Haruna turned to Ren with a leveled stare "No He's not.."
Ren, taken aback, turned his eyes back to the top floor. There was no way that fool could actually find the kid, He was going to die trying, no doubt. The moment the entire floor flared only proved his point...
Until the figure leaped from the window with a spin, cradling a bundle of blankets. He held an arm out and fired a line to slow his descent to a light tap, the mother from before ran to the man as She took the bundle as the figure said "No worries, your baby's fine."
The woman opened the bundle and smiled, cradling the item inside, which was the baby. "Bless you, oh bless you Spider-man..."
"He... saved the kid..." Ren was taken aback by the man and his abilities "Who...is he.."
Haruna smiled "That is Spider-Man."
"Spider-Man..." Run said, tasting the name on her tongue "Not bad.."
"Spider-... Man! Of course! That is it, Sairenji!" Ren had a epiphany and was elated at the new information, so much so that He reached over and took Haruna's hands into his own "I have solved my problem! Thank you!"
"Oh! Uh... You're welcome?..."
"There he is!" Suddenly cops from all over came on to the scene and pulled their firearms out at Spider-Man
"Don't let him get away!"
"Hey hey hey! No need to cr-..." Spider-Man held his hands up as and survey the cops aiming right at him, until his eyes drifted over Ren and Haruna, where He simply froze. He kept a firm gaze on them for a few seconds, completely ignoring the cops until He leaped into the air, still ignoring the now firing cops.
Ren simply stared at the impressive acrobatics of the Spider-Man as He maneuvered from the gunshots.
'Of course, It all makes sense now! It isn't that I am not manly, It's because Lala-Chan must have had her definition of manliness elevated!'
"Somebody shoot me..."
Rito lay on his desktop face down as his friends online looked at the boy with pity.
Harley was the one to break the silence "Hey, maybe it was just a misunderstanding? Where were they anyway?"
Rito made a sound of a dying cat as He didn't move an inch
"Dude, seriously?"
Rito groaned again "Luv-Luv park... near the front gates of..."
...
"...Friggin engrish." Ned and Harley said
"That make-out joint? Sheez..." Ken said, not liking the pity Rito was surrounded in. But it wasn't like He could do anything about it "Hey, wasn't this guy like, REALLY crazy about getting Lala's attention?"
Rito raised his head in an instant "Yeah... That lying salt and pepper motherfucker!"
He has some explaining to do!
Ren sat on his bed and as He searched the Earth's internet to the various videos it possessed, all pertaining to one subject
"Of course! How could I have been so blind!"
All the video's were of one subject: Spider-Man in various points in his impressive, albeit short, career. One video was of him catching a car, another showing him disarming a gunman, another of him webbing criminals and another of him swinging away from police. There were other less interesting ones of him helping kids across a street, saving a balloon and getting a cat from a tree but those hold no interest to him. Spider-Man being a MAN was all He desired to see. "
"Yeees, I have heard of the Spider when King Deviluke had announced Yuuki Rito as the 'Prime candidate, bleeh," Ren had to hold in his vomit at the thought "But I gravely underestimated the man He truly was! Luckily He wasn't the candidate or I would've had to break a sweat!"
But one thing bothered him.
Ren rewatched the videos where Spider-Man had fought opponents. Each and every fight... all of Spider-Man's movements, He had seen a glaring flaw. It was all non-lethal. A man shouldn't do such things so halfheartedly; The king of Deviluke didn't, his father laid waste all the hapless creatures below him and so will He...
"Don't worry Spider-Man, you may continue your pursuits however fruitless they may be, because an even truer man will arrive...
"Yes... I, Ren elcie Jewleria will become!-" He smirked "Superior!"
And thus my itch for wasted potential has been finally scratched. To some who read so far could tell, yes, some characters are fusing with that of traditional Spider-Man characters. It was been known Saruyama is this universe's Harry Osborn And I'm setting up Ayako Fujisaki as a felica hardy-Ish-type. It is to give a bit (Or a lot) more of a personality to the cast and those who lack proper characterization or anything to set them apart.
And Ren is the type of person who keeps asking why doesn't Batman kill all his enemies.
Ren feels like an obvious setup for how his journey will lead him, but Run is Really based off an interesting idea by Guigo2000, I find a depressed Run more interesting than happy cute girl issue #31