Chapter: 5

"Flare."

Wonder. Wonder and caution, was what she found herself feeling as she walked steadily down the hallway. She could sense a hole in her gut, there was something sinister about the silence, and as hard as she tried she couldn't shake of the feeling that something was awfully wrong.

The ten year old girl tucked a strand of her brown hair behind her ear and took a deep breath. The expression on her face was peculiar as she was debating within whether she should or shouldn't walk away. She shifted her weight from one foot to another, and so very gently, she turned the knob and pushed the huge door open. The room before her was one she had so rarely the honour of walking into, and its invitation was usually an indicator of something ominous.

Dark, was the only word she could describe it with. Ofcourse, there was no doubt it was beautiful, but so is the devil in disguise. The few rays of sunlight that were allowed to penetrate through the thick curtains were forked, and weakly lit the room. The scent was appealing, and so was the woman that sat comfortably on the club chair, smiling widely, her lips, a bloody red.

"What do you want?", the little girl spat. The tension she felt could be sensed form a mile away.

The blond woman fluttered her lashes. "Now, now Claire, that's not very polite."

The brunette sighed, obviously irritated.. "Why did you call me here?"

The woman's eyes widened as if out of shock. "Should there really be a reason for a mother to see her daughter?"

The girl smirked mercilessly, this was a game she had played many times before. "Let's drop the shit where we pretend you're my mother and we're a family and get to point."

"There is nothing your mother would have done for you, that I haven't.", the woman defended her case dully, boredom was visible on her face. She pointed to a chair, inviting the girl to sit.

The girl obeyed, cautiously, the words of defense already at the tip of her tongue. "Yes. You're right Ingird. My mother, too, would have never let me see my own father, she too, would have kept me prisoner here against my will for ten years, but I can't help but feel that she never would have spent her time plotting my death."

The woman rolled her eyes. "I have so many times told you, that your father is sick, I keep you in this mansion for your own safety."

"My father is sick, for the past fifteen years? Come up with a better excuse, I bet he's long gone and you're just putting up this act until the right time for your schemes shows up, and my safety, as far as it concerns you, is as farther from you as possible.", the girl said through gritted teeth.

The petite lady sighed, and gesturing with one hand brought the girl's attention to a goblet in front of her, filled with water. "Have a drink, you're obviously being temperamental."

The girl leaned back against the chair, her should felt heavy, as she wondered how she was able to live all of this for a whole decade.

"It's not poison.", the woman informed.

"Oh, I know. You can't kill me, not yet atleast.", she smiled bitterly. "I know you would have already if you could, not just me, all three of us I guess."

The woman's gaze turned into a glare as her true face was slowly exposed. "You talk too much for someone who isn't even older than ten."

"The truth stings doesn't it? Let me tell you one thing Ingrid, you might have Luca fooled and Katie's too young to know it yet, but I see you for the snake you are, and as far as my guess goes, our lives are tied to something important, something greater than your loathe for us.", the girl looked around. "Maybe all of this.", she said indicating the huge estate. "Maybe even more.", she shrugged.

The woman's jaw twitched. "You have a wild imagination there."

The girl lifted the goblet and sipped a draught. "I'll ask one last time, what do you want?"

The woman gazed at a distance. "You obviously don't need me in your life anymore."

The girl scoffed. "Skip me the drama and get to the point."

"Very well then, I'm setting you free, you can go, you can leave whenever you want, it's your choice.", the woman shrugged.

The girl's eyes widened. "You're bluffing.", she gasped.

"I'm not, I mean what I'm saying."

The girl swallowed hard. "And what's the price."

The woman chuckled. "Silly girl, there's no price, but, there is one thing you need to do."

"What?", the girl whispered.

The woman remained silent, as to search for the rigth words. "Just a signature, a written proof that you decided to leave, that you are no longer a permanent resident of your father's estate."

The girl narrowed her eyes. "That's all?"

"Yes.", the woman opened her drawer and produced a neat looking file. She flipped through the document and exposed a page which stated exactly what she had said. "That's all I need."

"You're playing games."

"I most certainly am not, otherwise wouldn't you have known?"

The girl held her breath, the offer was too appealing, she didn't want to call the shots, she wanted to take what was being given, she wanted to be selfish. "Is this the same thing you told Luca when you called him here earlier?"

The woman nodded.

"What about Katie?", the girl inquired.

"She's too young, besides, I doubt you would want to take her with you."

"I'm sure Luca would want to, he loves her."

"No, I did ask him, he refused."

The girl bit her lip. She wanted to say she didn't believe her, she knew her siblings too well, but she was tired, she just wanted to live the rest of her life for herself, that was all she wanted, freedom. She took the pen on the desk and without giving it another thought scrawled quickly on the document.

The woman's face had a serene look, and the girl could even see that she had somehow gotten herself in a trap, but she didn't care, because she knew that at the moment, she did what she thought was best for her, she was exhausted now, she didn't want to fight anymore.

So, as she stood and headed for the door her thoughts and conscience a mere blur, the woman smirked peripheral to girl's vision, it was an evil smile, one that represented pure darkness, and said, "You made the right choice Claire."

The girl sighed, because deep inside she knew she didn't. (Interval)

"You're exactly my type." The words echoed in my brain for the millionth time as I stared blankly at the ceiling of my room. What did it mean? And most importantly why did it matter? Why did I like it whenever images of his figure popped into my brain? Why did I smile involuntarily whenever his words played in my mind? Why did I google "what does it mean when a boy says you're my type"? Why did I feel a flare of hope when he was around? Why did I absent mindedly think of him while pretending to work? Why did I start to care how I looked and worry about my outfit? Why did the thought of him touching me sound appealing? Why did I walk faster in the halls, entertaining the thought of pretending to casually bump into him? Why did I hold my breath when he smiled? Why couldn't I help staring at his lips while he talked? And lastly why the hell couldn't I shake off the restlessness of going back to school since the weekend had started?

I shifted uncomfortably on the bed. The answer was one for all, and it was one that I found hard to admit, it had me chewing on the inside of my cheek. The answer was one and it was simple, I was into Killua Hayashi and that meant trouble.

Killua's P.O.V :-

I leaned my head against the headboard of the bed as I heard the loud exhales of the bare girl lying beside me. Exhaustion, disgust and mostly self-hate. These were the feelings that coursed through my veins and were bundled up in my chest. I blinked and all at once my aimless life played in front of me, all that I had lost, all that I had worked for, and all that I had left.

I took the packet of cigarettes from the side table and holding one between my lips, pressed the lighter's button, the flame appeared before my eyes, reminding me of the fire within me. I took a deep breath and let out a puff of smoke.

The girl beside me crawled into my lap, her auburn hair covering one side of her eye, as she quickly tucked it behind her ear. "Well aren't you a giver.", she said breathlessly as she ran a hand down my bare torso. Most people would referred to her as beautiful but as I stared at her face, it took everything I had not to hit her as hard as I could.

I managed to smirk. "Now that you've had your side of the trade, I expect you to give me mine very soon."

She fluttered her eye-lashes. "My, my.", she sighed. "Let go of work for a while babe, enjoy what life gives you.", she winked.

I clenched my teeth and glared at her, keeping the smirk in place. "Listen to me, very carefully Naomi, because I, don't like to repeat myself.", I said placing my hand on the head board. There was a small click and I showed her the little black metal flower in my palm, which I had just removed. "When I seal a deal, I readily do my part, whether I like it or not, but when others don't do theirs, and they try to play with me, I see to it that they are properly punished.", I closed my palm and after a second opened it again, showing her the black dust that remained of the flower. "I crush them."

Her lower lip slightly trembled as she got off my lap. "Don't worry, you'll have the keys in no time.", she assured me.

I smiled. "Now that's the kind of people I like to do business with. Make sure you stick to your word.", I said as I stood and pulled my underwear on. The fury and rage within me were killing me. Many things must be done, to get the job done. The words sounded familiar as they echoed in my brain.

I closed my eyes and the face of a brown-eyed brunette that had constantly been the center of my attention for the past two weeks flashed before me, and just like that, I felt my anger evaporate.

The way her lips twitched slightly when she talked, how she blinked furiously when she was embarrassed. How she twiddled her thumbs when she was confused. How behind that tough shell of hers, an empty and broken girl could be seen. How her eyes seemed to be telling so many sorry-tales but she kept her face composed. How the girl was more fragile than a petal but she acted hard-core. How the chocolate pools of her eyes were framed with thick and long lashes. How her lips lacked colour, just waiting to be kissed. How she never blushed, but her eyes betrayed her emotions. How it was clear that the girl had no idea just how gorgeous she was. How no matter what I did, I couldn't help but be drawn to her. She was my flare of hope.

Claire's P.O.V :-

There she was. The little girl with the coal black locks, smiling, her eyes gleaming. Her hand held out for me. She blinked a few times and then her expression was confused, the cheerfulness on her face slowly faded, until it changed into terror, fear, dread. I stared down at my hand, and there it was. The black dagger with its silver-edged blade, slowly its colour spread, until my whole form was dark, just a shadow. I looked up at the little child. I wanted to shout, wanted to warn her, "Run Katie! Get away!", but no words came out of my mouth. She kept standing there, trusting me, having faith in her sister, until it happened. In the blink of an eye, the dagger pierced through her heart, hot blood stained my hands. The girl didn't shriek, she didn't even cry, she just whimpered once and the one word that escaped her lips was, "Why?"

I screamed. At the top of my lungs I screamed. Warm tears were wetting my cheeks but I screamed. As I awoke from the nightmare all I could do was scream. How could life at once, turn all my dreams and hopes into nothing but regret and pity. The door of my room flew open, both my parents hurried to me, their expressions concerned and worried. I burried my face in my hands.

Maybe they were consoling me, speaking words of comfort. But I couldn't hear them, running in my mind were the images of the black-haired girl. My breath was stuck in my throat and my gut telling me once again that darkness was soon to come. I didn't know how long I stayed there, frozen, but it seemed like an eternity until my alarm clock beeped, scaring me to death.

I could feel my eyelids crashing heavily with each other. Each sound around me was louder and echoed a million times. The events revolved around me in a blur, maybe I splashed water on my face, maybe I just assured my parents I was going to make it on my own through the day, maybe I tripped somewhere, and before I could know how, I was walking in the school hallway. It took everything in me to walk straight, and I felt like I was about to collapse in any moment.

Fear, fatigue, I felt cold sweat on my forehead. There would be a moment my breath would stop and after a few seconds, it would come back in a rush. I desperately struggled to keep my eyes open as I walked staggering to my locker. My eyes would eventually tear up and the bags under them made it hard to concentrate on each pace. The pile of books in my arms suddenly felt like it weighed five times more and my brain was unsuccessfully battling as I was on the verge of unconsciousness. Every figure and person around me looked a bit blurred and faded and each movement drummed in my ears.

As I finally made it to the metallic little door, I saw a figure leaned casually against it. I blinked a few times to make out the face and sighed. Screamed, internally. He should not be here.

Killua raised his eyebrows as he saw me approach. "I see we're looking sturdy this morning."

His voice burned like venom in my ears, like hot metal sticking to my skin. I closed my eyes. Don't do something you'll regret Claire, so I just kept quiet, my temper was so not in check.

"What? Did you sleep with your dog?", he said making a disgusted face.

I clenched my teeth and dropped the books to his feet.

His expression turned confused as he watched repeatedly between my face and the dropped items.

"Just shut the hell up!", I shouted. "Just shut that bloody hole, I can't always put up with this shit of yours, I'm human for heaven sake! I'm not perfect like you, we're not all fucking idiots who win people's hearts just with a wink! I'm just... I'm tired, okay? I just.. can't", my voice broke. "Get out of that royal bubble of yours for once, just—just stop, okay?"

He watched me with a serious expression, which made me realize the surroundings were silent, a bit too silent.

I looked to my sides, everyone in the hall was completely frozen, staring with shocked faces at us. Hell, fuck. I let my voice slip a bit too loud. My eyes humidified on their own, and something told me it wasn't because of the lack of sleep. People were staring at me. I staggered a few paces back and took deep breaths looking at Killua. I looked once at the books scattered on the floor, deciding it was better to leave them there. I spun around and fleeted out, falling twice on the wet grass. I wiped the tears with the sleeves of my shirt and sat down on the pavement, my eyes still begging me to shut them.

For seventeen years of my insignificant life, I had never caused a scene, never raised my voice that loud, and never and I mean never been actually noticed, even though notoriously, by such a large number of people. I could feel the guilt flood furiously in my heart. I was, for lack of a better word, a despicable human being.

People say your habits become permanent once you turn forty, for me, that had an earlier impact by just a few decades. I was the kind of person who put ketchup on her macaroni and cheese once and didn't like it but still followed the same pattern twice just to prove a meaningless point to her brain. I was the one who always made the same mistake multiple times. I was, in other words, an utter and absolute idiot.

My past was blemished, big time. My hands weren't clean, and when the consequences were hard to take, I ran. That's what I did, I ran away. People would think I might be some kind of nonpareil saint, worrying over something so small, but I just couldn't afford it, I just couldn't render myself any more miserable by letting these small flaws stain the folio of my life some more. It wasn't an option, a choice, or part of my once in a year agenda, it was an exigency, there was no turning around or screwing up some more.

"You're gonna bite it off.", I heard a soothing masculine voice call.

I turned around to see Killua standing at my side looking cautiously at the gray stained sky.

I sighed. I couldn't explain the appease his voice sent in my heart. "What?"

"Your lip, you're gonna bite it off."

I laughed once wiping the tears from my cheeks as I realized how hard I had sunk my teeth in my lower lip.

He sat down next to me. "Here.", he said handing me a square little wrap.

I blinked a few times. "What's this?"

"Chocolate."

I looked at him in disbelief, in that moment I felt a huge lump in my throat, I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him how thankful I was, but instead I masked my emotion by saying, "Pinch my ass, you are sharing chocolate?"

"It's good for your mood.", he said rolling his eyes.

I shifted it in my hands. "Thanks.", I sighed. "And I seriously can't believe I'm about to say this but I'm sorry, I know I acted like a total asshole."

"And?", he asked pleased.

"A moron.", I sighed.

"And...?"

I glared at him. "Trust me, this ends here."

He laughed. "Just cherishing the moment. Well, atleast we got something out of this."

"What?"

"We know you give out a great amount of shit when your mad or sleep deprived, so let's not push those buttons again."

I loured at him and stood up. "Seriously, you are the fucking reason God made the middle finger.", I said yawning.

He rolled his eyes. "So, wins people's hearts with a wink, eh?"

"What? No, I didn't mean that... I was.. you.. shut up.", I burried my face in my hands.

He chuckled, amused. "It's amazing what good looks can do.", he said raising his eyebrows.

I yawned again. "You're a bitch Killua.", I said rubbing my eyes. "I mean not like a bitch bitch, because that's.. I mean like a dog, but that doesn't sound insulting 'cause it looks like I'm calling you pal, like what up dog, pal, yo whatever, sort of like a male bitch... if that's okay with you.", I said sitting back down, my legs felt numb.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, it's okay with me."

I stretched my arms and blinked a few times. My hands started working on their own and removed his hands from his lap. The sleep deprivation was getting to my head. "Do you mind?", I said placing my head on his lap and yawning.

"I..I..", he stuttered. "No.", he cleared his throat. "Ofcourse not."

I hummed. "Thanks.", I said closing my eyes. I could smell his scent, vanilla and a mixture of different manly odours, overall, very appealing.

Killua might be the most awkward and goading person I knew. At that moment, though I was barely concious, I felt a small flare of heat in my chest, a feeling I was not familiar with, but it made me happy. Maybe I had read about it in books, was it fondness? Or gratefulness, or maybe both, or something even more. Also there next to him, I felt safe, safe from my nightmares, safe from the guilt, safe from the dark. The two sides of my brain were caught up in a wrangle, one liked him and the other wanted to beat the shit out of him. I just shrugged that off, and let myself slide into unconsciousness.

"Oh, my God.", I gasped as Killua and I walked towards the hallway. "I missed a class."

"So, what?", he said casually as he walked with his arms crossed behind his neck.

"You don't get it, I missed a class! I... what time is it?", I asked greedily.

"Eleven sharp."

"Oh, no, I missed two classes.", I barely whispered.

"Actually, you missed three.", he informed me.

My mouth fell open. "But.. you... how could you do this to me?"

He glared at me. "Oh, so I held your head in my lap, on the cold pavement, while you slept for three hours and this is what I get? Yeah, how could I possibly do that to you.", he groaned.

We both remained silent and gazed at each other. This was one of those "awkward" moments. He blushed, and since I couldn't, I just looked away.

"I've gor P.E.", I mumbled.

"Me too.", he shrugged.

It was ten minutes later that I was seated on the bench in my gym clothes, we had tennis today. My nails dug deep in my palm. For all the times I fell and embarassed myself in gym, I should've gotten used to it by now, but no.

I saw a tall figure, standing next to me. Killua, hands in his pockets wearing a grey shirt that was only a shade darker than his hair. "You didn't change.", I informed him.

"Oh, no. Really?", he asked, his voice lacking emotion.

I glared at him.

His dull eyes met mine. "I don't feel like it.", he explained. "The teacher gave me off.", he shrugged.

I looked back at the gym instructor. Aha, of course, opposite sex to Killua meant Killua doing whatever the hell he liked. I felt like I was going to explode. "I don't get it! Fucking.. how come this is called the justice system?", I whisper shouted.

Killua's eyes brightened and he smirked. He walked closer to me and gently patted my head, like one would do with a mentally retarded child. "You're so naive."

"What?", I glared at him.

He got down on his knees and his hands went to my shoes.

I looked down and saw that the laces had been tied together. Naomi. The name flashed in my head at once.

He slowly untied them and explained, "See? Half of the time, you don't even notice what's going around you.", he smirked. "You're naive.", he said triumphant.

I bit my tongue, resisting the urge to stick it out at him. "So, if you're skipping P.E, why the hell are you here?"

He bit his lip. "I heard, you have certain skill in sports."

My eyes widened. "No, no, you—no, I—", I rubbed my temples with my fingers. "You can't."

He just smirked in response.

So, as I walked to the tennis court, racket in hand, trembling, all I could think of was, curse you Killua Hayashi.

As a flare of heat manages to light up my heart

like a fresh breeze from the window as I forget my past.