Chapter 3

Hide went up to the cash register the next day and tried to quell his nerves. During the evening, night, and morning he had managed to convince himself that he had read too much into the previous day. He just hoped he hadn't made too much of a fool of himself while he had been at it.

The register was once again manned by Hinami, and she narrowed her eyes when she saw him before smiling somewhat thinly at him. She gestured to the back of the store as she looked back down at the book in her hands. "He's in the back."

Hide hesitated, taken aback by the small show of hostility from her, and realized that the two of them hadn't really introduced themselves to each other. He had simply barged into the store one day and asked about her big brother—no wonder she was feeling a bit hesitant towards Hide. Well, that wouldn't do.

Hide smiled and reached out his hand towards her, catching the way she tensed up momentarily at his sudden movement. "I remembered that we hadn't properly said hello. I think we've seen each other enough time to warrant a handshake, right?"

Her narrowed eyes widened in surprise as she looked down at Hide's extended hand and for a few long seconds she didn't move. Hide had just enough time to start screaming internally—standing in the middle of a bookshop with his arm extended like an idiot—before she carefully reached out her own hand and grabbed Hide's.

Hide relaxed as his smile widened. "I'm Hide! Nice to meet you."

Hinami smiled back with a small laugh and Hide breathed out a silent sigh of relief as the last tension of the moment dissipated. "I know. My name is Hinami. Nice to meet you too."

"Hello, Hinami!" Hide shook their hands with exaggerated enthusiasm and was rewarded with another laugh. A thought occurred to him, and before he could stop himself he blurted out, "Next time, maybe you could help me pick out a book?"

Her smile widened at this and Hide congratulated himself at his fast thinking at the same time as he tried not to laugh out loud—the two of them were so similar! Mention books and both of them were completely sold. "I would like that. Just tell me what you are looking for."

Hide stepped back and hoped she was as open-minded as her brother as he said, smile still firmly in place, "I'm looking for anything to do with ghouls!"

Hinami looked taken aback at the statement and Hide cursed his own carelessness. Off course she wouldn't be as open about ghouls as Kaneki was, almost no-one was. If she hadn't been hesitant towards him to begin with, this was sure to remedy that. Hide put his hands up in a disarming gesture and tried his best to smooth it over. "I'm sorry! That might have been rude of me? I'm just curious in regards to studying them."

Hinami didn't relax. "To study them?"

Hide nodded. "Yes, or, to learn more about them." How could he explain that they weren't simply the horrible monsters that most media made them out to be? He didn't want Hinami to think he was crazy. "I think it's important to learn about them, to understand."

"That's… Good." Hinami surprised him by saying. She hesitated slightly before nodding resolutely. "I'll see what I can find."

Hide had a weird feeling as if the conversation had just shifted from him trying to defend the morality of learning about ghouls to him passing some unspoken test. "Thanks?"

Hinami nodded and Hide didn't know what else to do, so he turned to leave to go and find Kaneki, before remembering something he had meant to ask. "Hey, by the way, how come I never see Kaneki behind the counter? Or anyone else for that matter? I know other people work here." And it would be easier to find Kaneki if he wasn't always half-hidden in the back, went unspoken but Hinami's look told him she had caught on to his real reason for asking.

Instead of calling him out on it, however, she shrugged and smiled. "I like it here. It gives me an excuse to talk to people."

"The others working here don't want that?"

Hinami shook her head without hesitation. "Not really, no. And it's just as well since they aren't very good at it."

Hide thought about Kaneki and his smile and their easy conversations and felt a sudden flare of indignation on the other's behalf. "I'm sure they would do fine!"

Hinami gave him a knowing look. "It's not only Kaneki, you know. But big brother is horrible at talking to people!"

"Hey! He talks just fine to me!"

"Yes, and I don't know if that says the most about you or him."

Hide gasped in mock outrage. "Are you implying that I'm not people?"

She shrugged, a teasing smile on her face. "Or that he makes an exception for you."

For some reason the first implication felt easier to handle.

Hide opened his mouth to retort, closed it again, and decided that the safest route was not to acknowledge her comment. "Uh, I'll go and see if I can bother Kaneki then?"

Hinami laughed and waved him off with a cheerful smile. "See you later! Have fun!"

Hide turned on his heel and hurried towards the back of the store. Just as she had said, Kaneki was there; busy unpacking boxes upon boxes of books. Hide stopped in his tracks as he saw Kaneki lift up a huge pile of books in one go, not struggling in the slightest. He felt his mouth go dry. Kaneki was definitely stronger than he appeared.

Hide cleared his throat and did his best to look anywhere but at Kaneki's arms, visible by his rolled up sleeves.

"Oh, Hide! You came."

And now he had to look away from Kaneki's smile as well. Damn, he was weak. Hide settled for looking at the boxes on the floor, but couldn't keep his traitorous mouth from saying the truth, "I couldn't stay away." He snapped his mouth shut and tried to cover it up with an, "A—and I promised didn't I? So, do you need any help?"

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"I want to help. And it's the least I could do after all that you've done for me." Hide still kept his gaze resolutely focused on the boxes.

"Ah, alright, that would be great. Thank you."

Hide looked up at the sound of Kaneki's bashful tone and immediately regretted the decision–Kaneki's smile was still in place and it was now accompanied by a blush and it was dangerous to look at.

"Where are these going?" Hide hastily asked as he aimlessly grabbed a couple of the books from the closest box and almost tipped forward as he straightened up again. They were even heavier than they looked and he desperately tried not to think about how strong Kaneki had to be to lift them so effortlessly. Get a grip, Hide silently admonished himself, before you embarrass yourself further.

"Over here, let me show you."

They worked in silence for a couple of minutes before Kaneki broke it with a hesitant, "You know… I am just doing my job. Not that I don't want to help you, I do. But it's not really something you have to pay me back for."

Hide set down the books he had been carrying and turned towards Kaneki, deciding to be honest. "I've learned more from you during this short while than I did for months on my own. I just hope I'm not being obnoxious with all the questions."

"I'm glad I can be of help." Kaneki ducked his head as he smiled.

Kaneki was too kind, and the subject of ghouls wasn't something most people wanted to think about too much. "Just tell me if it ever makes you uncomfortable and I'll stop."

"I promise. Thank you, both for being considerate and for trying to understand." There was a bit more warmth in those words than Hide thought was warranted, but he had already made too much of a fool of himself during this conversation so he didn't say anything as he continued unpacking books.

—

The next time Hide entered the store there was a stranger behind the counter. He cast a quick look around for Hinami but couldn't see her anywhere. Well, talking to a new person it was then. Hide sighed and made his way over.

"Is Kaneki in?" Hide asked the man behind the counter, careful to smile and keep his voice perfectly polite—this was Kaneki's colleague after all and he wanted to make a good impression. The blond man looked up from his phone and his thick-rimmed glasses and styled hair made him look like a good fit for a more hip bookstore downtown. Hide had seen him around the store a few times but he had never talked to him, but he looked friendly enough. Until he opened his mouth.

"Why do you wanna talk to that idiot?"

"What?" Hide asked in surprise, feeling off balance by the sudden hostiity.

The man heaved a heavy sigh, rolled his eyes, and pointed down the aisles to the right. "He's in the back somewhere. Find him yourself."

"Nishiki!" Hinami came up from behind a bookshelf, arms leaden with more books than looked strictly safe and Hide almost felt week-kneed by the relief of seeing a friendly face. "We've talked about this! You can't speak to the customers like that."

Nishiki groaned and slumped down in his chair, turning his attention back to his phone, but not before muttering out, "It's their fault for always being so boring."

Hide raised an eyebrow and he suddenly understood why Hinami was the one who usually manned the cash register. She had not been exaggerating about the other employees not being very good at talking to people.

"I'm so sorry Hide," Hinami said with a pitying look thrown at Nishiki, "please excuse him."

Nishiki slammed his hands on the table as he got to his feet. "I can speak for myself!"

Hinami didn't miss a beat. "Well, maybe you shouldn't."

"I've told you that I don't want to man the register," Nishiki said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Hinami raised her eyebrows with an unimpressed look on her face. "That's no excuse to act like a child."

"Well, then, you do it!" Nishiki sneered and quickly made his way to a back corner where Hide had spotted him on a computer several times during his visits.

Hinami sighted and turned her attention to Hide, her gaze turning thoughtful. Hide had the distinct feeling that he should have followed the rude man's example and vacated the premise. Before he had a chance to excuse himself however, Hinami looked off to the side and took a deep breath before blurting out, "I was meaning to ask you, why do you ask for big brother all the time?"

Hide cleared his throat and hoped that his voice sounded cheerful and casual, and not strained and embarrassed like he feared, when he said, "He is very knowledgeable and he's good at helping me."

She nodded thoughtfully, as if she was judging his answer. Was this how siblings looked out for each other? Hide didn't know and hoped that she wouldn't try to stop him from spending time with Kaneki. The mere thought made something clench in his stomach he looked on with bated breath as Hinami pursed her lips and seemed to come to some silent conclusion. She gave a barely perceptible nod. "Okay."

Hide felt like he had missed part of the conversation as he frowned in confusion. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Hinami seemed to realize that she was still holding what looked like a whole shelf of books, and put them down on the counter before gesturing to the right. "He's in the back again."

"I'm not only here for him this time, remember? You promised to help me pick out a book the next time I came in."

Hinami's mouth formed a small "o" as she stood up. "I did!"

"If it's still alright with you?" Hide didn't want to pressure her into helping him if it would make her uncomfortable.

"Actually, I found the perfect book!" Hinami smiled as she ducked down behind the counter, coming back up again with a massive book in her hands.

"You didn't have to prepare for it! I didn't mean to create more work for you," Hide said, even as he smiled at her obvious enthusiasm.

She shook her head as she extended the book. "No, no. I like finding the perfect ones for our customers, it was no trouble."

"Well then, thank you." Hide grabbed the book before almost instantly dropping it. "It's so heavy!"

Hinami's smile turned a bit sheepish. "It's a bit big, but believe me! It's really good! And I think you would like it. Kaneki told me about the books you have been looking for."

"Have you guys been talking about me?" Hide asked as he carefully hefted the book under his left arm to get a better hold of it.

Hinami laughed. "He will never shut up about you!"

Hide was powerless to fight the blush rising in his cheeks at that comment and fruitlessly opened his mouth to deny it when a voice cut him off from behind, "Hide? Welcome!"

Hide whipped around to see Kaneki walking towards them with a casual smile on his face as if he hadn't just caused Hide to scream internally at his timing. Despite all of this, Hide couldn't keep a smile from spreading over his face as he greeted Kaneki. "Kaneki!" Had he heard what they were talking about? Hide opted for a tactical change of conversation. "This time I guess you had to go and find me for a change."

Kaneki laughed. "I guess that's only fair."

He looked at the book under Hide's arm and then at Hinami, a teasing smirk spreading over his face. "Are you seeing other bookshop employees now? I thought we had something special."

The words were spoken in an exaggeratedly dramatic tone. Despite the obvious joke Hide still felt disproportionally flustered by the comment and laughed awkwardly before managing to wrestle back some sense of control over himself. He leaned back, putting his hand against his forehead in a dramatic manner. "I would never betray you! What we have goes beyond a single book."

"Yeah, you've soon bought all of them," Kaneki laughed.

Hinami cleared her throat, "I'm still here, you know?" Despite her words, she was smiling as she looked at Kaneki.

Kaneki waved it off, still laughing. "Sorry, sorry! Come on Hide, I had a book I wanted to show you."

He reached out a hand and grabbed Hide's right arm, seemingly without really noticing, and Hide was all too happy to allow him to drag him away. Hide looked over his shoulder and gave Hinami his best helpless look while still grinning like an idiot. "Thanks again for the book!"

Hinami laughed as she shook her head. "I hope it will help."

"I'm sure it will!" Hide shouted with a laugh just as he was pulled around a corner and Hinami disappeared from view.

Hide turned back towards Kaneki and caught the other smiling at him. "What book did you want to show me that's so important that you had to pull me away by force?"

Kaneki laughed again—Hide would never tire of that sound—and didn't let go of Hide's arm as he spoke, "It's this great book that we got just last week, but we only have one copy left. It didn't come to mind at first, but I think you would like it." Kaneki stopped in front of a bookcase and started trailing his hand over the backs of the books as his eyes scanned the titles. The hand that was still restingon Hide's arm seemed to burn with unnatural warmth, dragging Hide's attention back to it again and again.

Hide couldn't stop smiling. This enthusiastic and happy version of Kaneki was impossible not to love—and the fact that he was this enthusiastic for a chance to show Hide something made him feel all warm inside, and the lingering hand on his arm only added to that heat.

"It's not really a scientific book about ghouls, but it is still good, and it is a good recollection of where we come from as a society, of how it used to be…" Kaneki trailed off as he stopped his search with his hand hovering over an empty space between two books. "Huh, someone has already taken it."

"I'm sure we'll find it!" Hide said, desperate for the good mood to continue, "I can read this for now." Hide inclined his head to indicate the book he had gotten from Hinami, still firmly clasped under his left arm.

"Oh! Right! Hinami gave you that?" Kaneki asked as he let go of Hide's arm, tilting his head to try and get a look at the book's spine. Hide tried not to think about how cold his arm felt at the loss of contact.

"Yes! I asked her to help me pick a book out," Hide said as he grabbed the book from under his arm and held it up to help Kaneki get a better look at it.

Kaneki laughed as he read the title, shaking his head. "That's great! It's actually the book I was looking for!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Well, it must be a great book if both you and Hinami would recommend it."

"It's an old favorite of ours." Kaneki had a fond smile on his face, eyes distant, as he spoke. "I actually used to read it to her when we were younger."

Hide raises a brow at the massive book in his hands which title consisted of three words he wouldn't have been able to understand the full meaning of until he started university. "That's impressive. And cute," Hide added as his thoughts turned towards a younger Kaneki patiently reading the big book to Hinami.

Kaneki blushed and waved him off, turning towards a small table in the back, "Come on then, let's start reading."

"Now?"

"Did you have something else to do?"

"No," Hide was quick to say, before adding, "You're not working?"

"It's fine. I'll get up if a customer needs me."

As it was, nobody needed his help, and Kaneki and Hide were left undisturbed in the back of the shop as they read. Hide suspected that it had more to do with Hinami looking out for them than cheer luck.

They settled into a comfortable almost-silence; Hide reading the book he had gotten from Hinami and Kaneki reading his own book, they only paused to offer each other the occasional comment or question. Kaneki's shift had ended an hour ago, but neither of them made any attempt to move.

The further he read in the book the more gratitude and horror Hide felt towards their current society; both for ever having been as bad as it had been, but also for rising above that and becoming something better, even if it was far from perfect. The book detailed daily lives of ghouls during different time periods, with a main focus on the time before the Great Reformation that happened a couple of generations ago. Hide had a general understanding that the lives of ghouls before had been worse than they were now, but not that it had been this bad. Hide felt a wave of frustration at just how much they chose not to teach in schools.

He had to take a short break after reading a particularly gruesome part and looked up to find Kaneki already looking at him. Hide smiled and raised an eyebrow as he half-jokingly asked, "You said you read this to Hinami when she was younger?"

Kaneki looked a bit sheepish at that. "I skipped most of the violence."

"Good call." Hide nodded, but couldn't keep from commenting, "It's… an interesting book to read to a child."

Kaneki's face turned sad and his eyes distant. "It's to remind us of how it used to be, so that we can avoid ending up there again."

It was still not something Hide would ever choose to read to a child, but he kept that comment to himself. He was sure that Kaneki had his reasons; maybe someone in their family was a politician or maybe they were ghoul activists, there could be a hundred reasons as to why and Hide didn't know. The fact that Hide didn't know this about Kaneki irked him, but he had a feeling this wasn't the time for personal questions, so he simply nodded and meekly said, "I'm all for that plan."

—

It was getting closer and closer to dinnertime and after the third time Hide was pulled out of his reading by his own stomach grumbling he gave in and put his book down. He waited until Kaneki did the same before asking, "Do you want to go to the barbecue down the street and eat?"

Kaneki frowned at the question. "That's not really in line with my… dietary requirements."

Had Kaneki mentioned something about his diet? Hide felt shame fill him at the thought that he hadn't been paying attention to something Kaneki had said. Was he a vegetarian?

"Oh, right. Of course. I'm sorry." If it was something Hide should already know about, he couldn't very well ask about it now; that would just be rude. "I… forgot."

"It's alright." Kaneki smiled at him. "It's actually nice with someone forgetting about it for once."

That was a bit of a weird comment, but Hide guessed that you wouldn't want people to constantly be thinking about how you differed from what they considered to be the norm, even if it was something common like a dietary requirement. Hide cast about for something safe, desperate to try and smooth things over. What had he seen Kaneki eat or drink before…? "Do you want to go for a coffee?"

"That would be nice. Sorry for the trouble," Kaneki said with a blush and a smile and Hide smiled back, happy that he hadn't made a fool of himself twice in as many minutes.

"No worries! Let's go." He started packing up, happy that he got to spend some more time with Kaneki and willing to wait a bit for his dinner to do so. Hide vowed to himself that next time he would muster the courage to ask Kaneki out on a proper date.

Kaneki smiled and got to his feet. "Yes, lets."