Chapter 4

It became something of a routine during the next couple of weeks; Hide visited the bookstore, talked to Kaneki and Hinami, helped out a little, talked with Kaneki about ghouls and anything else that came to mind, bought a book if something caught his attention, tried to avoid Nishiki, and dragged the time out before he had to leave again.

Sometimes his hesitation led to him and Kaneki having a coffee after the other got off from work, but never anything more than that and Hide still hadn't been able to make himself ask about that date. He would do it next time, the timing just wasn't right, it wouldn't be natural in this particular conversation, or Kaneki didn't seem to be in a perfect mood. There was always some excuse that convinced him to just do it next time.

There was also the looming thought of possibly ruining something good; they had a great time together, often talking late into the evenings, and Hide had started to catch himself thinking about the next time he could meet up with Kaneki even as he was still spending time with him.

Kaneki was in most of the days he visited and Hide didn't know if that was because he got lucky, or because Kaneki spent most of his days working in the store anyway. Hide hadn't dared ask yet—afraid that mentioning it would somehow break his luck and that Kaneki wouldn't be in the next time he came by.

Hinami almost always manned the register, and as the days went by she seemed to get over some of her initial hesitation towards him.

She was a constant during his visits, so much so that when Hide stepped into the store one day and found the register manned by someone he didn't recognize, he stopped short just inside the door. It took him a second to shake off his surprise and register the person's impassive look that still managed to convey irritation at a rather impressive scale. He also noticed that the intimidating gaze landed squarely on him as soon as he took a step through the door and Hide couldn't help but feel immediately vulnerable.

The gaze belonged to a young woman with dark hair covering one of her eyes and even though she wore the uniform of the store, Hide was sure he would have remembered her if he had seen her before—she was even scarier than the angry and rude man called Nishiki. She watched him walk up to the register with a scowl and then silently raised a hand to point to the left. Hide didn't have the guts to disobey, even though he silently doubted that she knew he was going to ask where Kaneki was. He walked to the left at a quick pace, following her silent order, feeling her stare at the back of his head the whole time.

To his utter relief he found Kaneki.

Hide didn't waste a second before asking in a rather breathless voice, "Thank god you're here, where is Hinami?"

Kaneki turned at the sound of his voice and Hide basked in the way Kaneki's face lit up as he spotted him. "Hide, hello! She's just taking a day off. Why?"

Hide sent a cautious glance over his shoulder; he could swear that he still felt the glare leveled at him even through all the shelves. "No real reason."

He heard a snort and turned back to Kaneki to see the other holding a hand over his mouth as he giggled. "Ah, I see you met Touka."

"So that's her name…" Hide muttered. "I think she already hates me, and we haven't even spoken a word to each other."

Kaneki waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "No, no, that's just how she is. She sent you my way, right? I think she likes you."

"Likes-?" Hide thought back to the hard stare and shuddered. "I highly doubt that."

Kaneki laughed again and Hide slumped down in a chair, hands covering his face in embarrassment. "Why are all of the employees here so scary?" He dragged his hands down his face and sent a teasing smile up at Kaneki. "Except you and Hinami, of course."

"I'm touched," Kaneki said with a slightly sarcastic tone of voice that did nothing to hide the slight blush that spread over his cheeks.

Hide felt a matching heat spread up his face and decided to change the subject before he said something even more stupid. "By the way, I finished the next chapter in the book you and Hinami recommended."

Kaneki took the bait and perked up at the mention of the book. "Oh? What do you think so far?"

"It's really good. Or, I mean, it's horrible but it's interesting! You get a real feel of how public opinion has shifted over the years."

Kaneki nodded. "It wasn't until a few years before I started working here that ghouls could even legally buy things in ordinary stores."

An angry voice suddenly cut them off, startling both of them and forcibly reminding them of the fact that they weren't alone in the store. "Did you say ghouls?"

Hide and Kaneki turned to see a middle aged man standing behind them, furrowed eyebrows and downturned mouth painting an almost comical picture of outrage. Kaneki smiled politely and said, "Yes?"

The man's anger only increased at this as he straightened up and took a deep breath before bellowing, "Does this filthy store support ghouls?!"

"We only sell books, sir, to whoever buys them." Kaneki was as calm as Hide had ever seen him and his respect for the other reached new heights. He knew that if he had been the one that had to handle such a customer, then he would have started arguing the minute the question arose. Hide decided to leave this interaction to Kaneki—he was the employee and was clearly better equipped to deal with the situation. Hide would just stay out of his way and—

"So you're okay with ghouls buying your books?!"

Hide had never been very good at staying out of arguments. Especially not if he knew someone was wrong and especially not if the argument was directed towards someone he liked. He raised an eyebrow and his voice as he asked, "Why wouldn't they be?"

The man whipped around to face Hide, an angry red blotching his cheeks. "Did you just say something?"

"Just tell me, I'm curious, why would it matter if ghouls bought books here?"

"I refuse to shop at a store that caters to that vermin!"

Hide felt taken aback; he knew that there were lots of people that hated ghouls, and this wasn't even his first time seeing it in action, but this was the first time he found himself on the receiving end of that hatred.

Before Hide had a chance to gather himself enough to come up with a response, Kaneki surprised him by stepping in; talking in a casual and friendly voice as he calmly looked the angry man in the eye. "We will sell books to whomever we please and if that bothers you then you are welcome to take your business elsewhere."

"I can't believe—I won't—" The man actually growled before finally managing, "I'll talk to the press about this!"

Kaneki kept his face perfectly polite—a picture perfect image of customer service—as he said, "Good luck and have a great day!"

The man stormed out, slamming the door behind him. As soon as the door closed it became clear just how tense Kaneki's posture had been as he let out a sigh of relief and relaxed again.

Hide felt another surge of admiration towards the other and he smiled, despite what had just happened. "You handled that very well. I'm impressed."

Kaneki gave a wry smile back. "Don't be, it's not the first time it happens and it won't be the last."

"Sorry for butting in," Hide felt the need to say since he hadn't really done anything except escalate things further. "He was being such an asshole; I couldn't just stand and watch."

Kaneki shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "Most do. Just stand and watch, I mean. So thank you for saying something, it was nice of you."

The fact that Kaneki was thanking him for saying anything only served to make Hide angry at himself. "Don't thank me. I've seen this scenario play out before without acting."

"Well, you did now."

Hide looked down, not feeling like he deserved Kaneki's seemingly endless compassion.

He was so causal about the whole situation. How many times had Kaneki had to stand up to an angry customer? How many times had he had to do it alone? "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, and besides, we're used to people like that."

"That doesn't make it okay." Hide found that his earlier anger had died down almost completely at Kaneki's words, but he still gave it a valiant effort. "I'm always surprised that people can act that way! How can't they know better? If only we had better education then we wouldn't have to—!"

Kaneki laughed. "You sound like an old man complaining about the state of education."

"This is serious," Hide said and was surprised at the pleading tone in his own voice, begging Kaneki to take this seriously—begging Kaneki to be angry at him.

Kaneki sighed. "Yeah, I know. But if we took it seriously every time, then we wouldn't do anything but be angry.

"I guess…" Hide knew that Kaneki was right and felt the last remnants of anger leave him as he gave Kaneki a wry smile. "Sorry, I just really didn't like the way he treated you."

"Thanks for worrying." Kaneki smiled before waving it off. "Now, where were we? You had started on the new chapter?"

"Yeah. Yeah I have!"

"Come on, let's go to the back. It's time for my lunch break anyway."

They sat down at their usual table in the back, Kaneki quickly making them each a cup of coffee from the coffee-maker hidden in the small break room before sitting down.

Kaneki took a sip of his coffee and released a sigh as he sank back in the chair. Hide placed the book he had gotten from Hinami in front of him and opened it to where he was reading—cradling the warm cup in his hands. It was peaceful where they sat, an illusion of privacy created by the bookshelves surrounding them on all sides.

The quiet was only broken by the sound of rustling paper as Hide turned a page and the soft clink of ceramic as either of them took a sip of coffee. Hide had just enough time to relax and put the earlier incident behind them, before Kaneki broke it.

"Are you done with your study soon? You've already bought all our books that could possibly be helpful." Kaneki spoke in a tone that managed to be both teasing and resigned all at once. Hide felt a sudden flare of hope that he wasn't the only one that didn't want their time to end and decided to be a bit bold.

"I don't think I'll ever be done studying this particular subject," Hide said with a wink, not acknowledging the fact that he was very aware that his reason for hanging around the bookstore—and in extension Kaneki—was diminishing in time with the remaining pages of the book in front of him.

"Oh my god." Kaneki hid his face in his hands, but not fast enough to completely hide the blush and the smile that spread over it. "Then, aren't you getting tired of asking me these questions?" His voice was less resigned this time, and more teasing.

"No, not really," Hide said with a shrug and a smirk, taking a slow sip of his coffee and relishing in the deepening color on Kaneki's face before raising an eyebrow in question. "Why? Are you getting tired of answering them? You don't have to, you know?"

"Why do you always ask me these questions? Is it really just to learn about ghouls?" This wasn't the first time Kaneki had questioned him about this and Hide guessed that Kaneki had some deep rooted insecurities about appearing too smart and bookish—at least if the bleached hair and edgy black nails were anything to go by.

"Well, you answer them, don't you?" Hide asked with a raised eyebrow as he crossed his arms over the table and drummed his fingers against the wood. Trying to steer the conversation away from his other reason for staying close to Kaneki—he wasn't that bold.

"Yes, I guess so." Kaneki tilted his chair back, balancing it on the back legs as he looked up at the ceiling. The cup of coffee that passed as his lunch was cooling down beside him. "Is it really such an interesting subject?"

Hide gave an incredulous laugh. "You're one to talk! You know so much about ghouls, you must have studied the topic before, right?"

Kaneki looked surprised at this for some reason that Hide couldn't understand. It wasn't such a strange question, was it? Kaneki allowed his chair to fall back down on all four legs as he shook his head. "No, I haven't really studied ghouls the way you do."

"So you learnt by simply reading books? That's impressive!"

Once again Kaneki looked surprised and this time it was accompanied by a frown. "No? I mean I have read a lot, but not really a whole lot about ghouls specifically."

Now it was Hide's turn to frown in confusion. "But then… How can you know so much about them?"

Kaneki's surprise turned to realization and then hesitation. He was quiet for almost a full minute before letting out a heavy sigh, casting a determined look in Hide's direction. "Well, you know a lot about humans, right?" Hide nodded in agreement, holding his breath as he waited for Kaneki to continue. When he did, it was a simple question. "Why is that?"

Hide gave a small laugh at the silly question. "Well, of course I do! I am—"

Hide cut himself off. Oh. Oh.

Kaneki looked at him with one raised eyebrow as if he was patiently waiting for him to finally figure out the obvious answer.

Hide blinked, opened his mouth, closed it, and tried again, "Wait! You're a ghoul?"

"Yes?"

"I didn't know you were a ghoul!"

"I thought you knew!" Kaneki said as he clasped his hands around the cup, nervously fiddling with the handle. "Why did you specifically ask me to help you out then?"

"I thought you were cute!" Hide blurted or before he could stop himself.

"Oh."

"And, you know," Hide stammered slightly, desperately ignoring the heat rising in his cheeks, "you seemed to know what you were talking about."

Kaneki gave an incredulous laugh "Nice to know that appearances came first."

"So you're a ghoul," Hide repeated, feeling slightly stunned. That explained so much! Hide felt like an idiot for not connecting the dots on what had been right in front of his face—literally!

Kaneki's smile died down and his expression visibly closed off. "Is that a problem?"

"No!" Hide hurried to say, trying to minimize the damage of his careless words, "It's really not! I'm just trying to figure out if I've been unknowingly rude to you in any of our conversations."

Kaneki relaxed and smiled again, "It's alright, you haven't." Kaneki paused for a second before continuing in a thoughtful voice, "Or, well, that thing with trying to take me out to a restaurant was kind of rude."

Hide snorted before he could stop himself. "Well, I'm so sorry for asking if you wanted to—" then he paused and his smile died down. "Oh god, you thought I knew you were a ghoul! You must have thought I was being super rude!"

Kaneki made a so-so gesture with his hand and Hide groaned. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know!"

"Yes, I'm starting to understand that," Kaneki said with a smile that threatened to turn into a laugh.

Hide opened his mouth to speak, "I—"

"Hide! Did you read the book?" Hinami's cheerful voice cut him off as she chose that exact moment to walk past them, eyes intent on the bookshelves in search of some elusive book, no doubt. This made her miss the way Kaneki tensed up at her arrival, sending Hide a hesitant look, but Hide didn't. It was then that he realized that Hinami was most likely a ghoul as well and that Kaneki worried how he would react when seeing her. He smiled at Kaneki before turning his attention back to Hinami, he would prove to them that they had nothing to worry about when it came to him!

"Yes! And I'm loving it!"

She smiled and the expression lit up her entire face. "I'm glad!"

Something caught her attention from the top shelf and she reached up and pulled a book down, looking it over with a victorious smile. "There it is! I have to get this back to a waiting customer, I'll see you guys later, right?"

Hide smiled back. "Yes! Don't work too hard!"

"Well, someone has to," Hinami said with a laugh and a pointed look in Kaneki's direction before she disappeared around a corner.

"Ouch. I guess that's my cue," Kaneki said before making a valiant effort to tip the last, cold, dregs of coffee into his mouth. Hide opted for pouring his last mouthful down the sink instead and as he sneaked a glance at Kaneki he was pleased to see that his expression had relaxed into something softer.

Hide packed up his stuff, but couldn't completely shake the worry of having made Kaneki feel bad, so he added, "I still don't think you could be scary. Not Hinami either, you know."

"Thank you?" Kaneki tilted his head and furrowed his brows as he sent Hide a concerned look. "That's a weird thing to say, you realize that, right?"

Hide nodded with a serious face. "As soon as I said it."

They held the silence for two seconds before they broke out into laughter. It felt good—laughing with Kaneki.

"You really don't care about it, do you?" Kaneki asked with wide eyes and a hint of a smile on his mouth, an expression as close to disbelieving as Hide had ever seen on another person.

"Nope," Hide said before tilting his head in thought and elaborating, "Or, I mean, I do care that it affects you. But I'm not bothered by it, if that's what you mean?"

Now, the smile on Kaneki's face was undeniable and if Hide chose to interpret the look in Kaneki's eyes as affection, then who was going to stop him?

As they started walking towards the front of the store, Kaneki slowed down and said in a quiet voice, "Thank you for not treating her any differently."

"Hinami?" Hide asked and Kaneki nodded. "But she isn't any different from before? I just didn't know about this part of her. If anyone has changed, it's me."

To his utter surprise and delight, Kaneki hugged him. His arms were indeed very strong, and he smelled like books, and Hide found himself fitting perfectly as he raised his hands to reciprocate the gesture—

"Get out of here if you're going to do that," came Nishiki's sudden voice from behind them and Hide froze where he stood. How did everyone in this store manage to sneak up on them all the time?

"You hug your girlfriend all the time!" Kaneki said indignantly as he released Hide, and then froze as he realized what he had said, face going from pale to flushed in the span of a second. "I mean—not that I think—I just meant—"

Nishiki threw his hands in the air and groaned, "Are you serious?!" He didn't wait for an answer as he walked towards the back, muttering all the while about shitty idiots and people nowadays didn't even understand what was right in front of them.

"Nishiki is right," a voice from behind them said and Hide turned to come face to face with the scary person Kaneki had said was called Touka. How had he not heard her arrive?! "Get out of here with that, it's bad for business."

Kaneki was by now blushing deep enough to turn his whole face red. "Sorry, sorry, it won't happen again."

Touka took a step closer to them and Hide found new heights of admiration for Kaneki when the other didn't back up at her approach. "It wasn't a suggestion."

Hinami sent them a questioning look as they made their way outside.

"I think she sent us outside to give us some privacy."

"You think so well of her."

"She's not mean, she just cares a bit differently."

"I agree with you there," Hide laughed before patting Kaneki on the arm. "I'm sure she's great when you get to know her."

Kaneki hesitated, looking from Hide's hand that just retreated from patting his arm, to Hide's face, and then away. Before Hide had time to comment on the sad expression on his face, Kaneki spoke in a quiet voice, "Well, if you want to, you are always welcome to come by the bookstore again."

Hide furrowed his eyebrows and tried to remember if he had missed something. "Okay? I'm planning on coming by tomorrow though. If that's fine?" Had he said something really bad? Maybe he had been rude and Kaneki was just too polite to mention it, but now he didn't want to see him anymore.

Kaneki looked taken aback. "You still want to come by?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Hide asked, still afraid that Kaneki wasn't going to tell him that he truly didn't want to see him again, but he was starting to feel like he was missing something obvious in this conversation.

"Well… I thought…" Kaneki trailed off, shifting from foot to foot and keeping his eyes averted.

"If you don't want me to, then I won't!" Hide was quick to assure the other, but he had a creeping suspicion that this had something to do with the whole being a ghoul business. He didn't want to intrude, but if he made Kaneki uncomfortable by being here, then…

His doubts were quickly swept away by Kaneki's instant, "No!" Kaneki took a deep breath before repeating, in a calmer voice, "No, I want you to come."

Hide felt relief course through him as he smiled and nodded, "Then I'll see you tomorrow."

Kaneki copied the motion and nodded his head once as his face flushed a dark red. "Sorry about that, I didn't mean to make you feel forced to come by."

"Nah," Hide smiled and reveled in the butterflies taking flight in his stomach at Kaneki clearly stating that he wanted him to come back, "I like it here."

Kaneki gave a half-strangled cough and croaked out, "So, did you want to buy any of the other books? You have soon bought all that even mentions ghouls!"

"I guess I have..." Hide said, trailing off. When he had read them all, what excuse did he have for coming back here and meeting Kaneki?

"I could—" Kaneki started before hesitating as he looked away, "I could check if we can order some more books about ghouls. There is apparently a high demand for them." Kaneki looked back at Hide at the end, giving him a smile that he no doubt wanted to be teasing but came out more genuine than anything else.

Hide perked up at this; Kaneki was actively trying to create excuses for Hide to spend more time in the bookstore, more time with him! He had no chance of dimming the wide smile that spread over his face as he answered, "That would be a great help! I'm tired of trying to find decent bookshops, and besides," Hide paused to aim a broad smile at Kaneki, accompanied by an obnoxiously obvious wink, "I like the service here."

The effect was instantaneous as a pretty blush crept up Kaneki's throat and spread over his cheeks as he ducked his head down to try and hide it. "Hide! You can't just say stuff like that!"

Hide laughed and it felt like the most natural thing in the world when he gently grabbed one of Kaneki's hands in his and said, "I can if it's true." He felt empowered by Kaneki's reaction and took a deep breath before continuing, "Come on, I don't think they want you back in there anytime soon. Do you think they would forgive you for taking a break for another coffee? An official cup of coffee this time."

Kaneki paused and glanced from their joined hands and up at Hide with wide eyes, blush still visible on his face. "Is that your way of asking me out?"

There was no use denying it now so Hide nodded with a wide smile, "Yes!" He internally cringed at how squeaky his voice came out, earlier calm nowhere in sight.

Kaneki snorted, but he was still smiling so Hide guessed that was a good sign. "That was really unclear!"

"Is that a no?" Hide asked with a raised eyebrow and a racing heart.

"No! I mean, yes, I mean—" Kaneki blew out a breath in frustration as the blush came back full force. Hide did his best not to laugh as Kaneki shot him a warning look before taking a deep breath and trying again, "I would love a coffee. An official coffee. With you."

"Great! It's a date-date!" Hide exclaimed with a wide smile, barely believing it himself.

Kaneki smiled back, bright and happy. "I guess it is."