Chapter Five
"I don't understand," said Tessa, leaning forward. "The demon was after the Pyxis?"
The four of them had gathered in the kitchen, hands wrapped around steaming mugs of tea. The Pyxis sat on the table between them, seeming almost diminutive and harmless. Clary suppressed the urge to grab it and throw it out the window. She imagined she could still hear a faint whispering coming from inside it. Shivering, she took a long sip of tea and glanced back up at the two people sitting across from her and Jace: Tessa Gray and Jem Carstairs.
"Yes," said Jace. "We were hoping you could tell us why."
Jem frowned. "Okay. Start from the beginning."
Jace began to recount the story in great detail, though Clary noticed he left out the Pyxis's effect on her. Not that she was about to correct him; she wasn't sure she could stomach all the questions she'd be asked about it. She let her thoughts drift, fiddling with the string of her tea bag. The soft whispering in the back of her mind seemed to grow. She looked over at the Pyxis; was it just her imagination, or was it glowing faintly? The whisper grew louder, the words indistinguishable, a steady hiss echoing in her head...
"Clary?"
A hand landed on her arm; she jumped so violently that tea slopped over the lip of her mug. Jace stared at her.
"Are you okay?" he said in a low voice.
Clary nodded, avoiding his gaze. "Sorry, I wasn't listening. What did you say?"
She could feel his eyes on her, but all he said was, "Do you remember anything else about the demon? Anything it said or did?"
She shook her head. "It wanted the Pyxis. That's all I know."
"But it said it had a master?" said Jem, looking back over at Jace. Tessa's gaze lingered on Clary for a moment longer before she turned to Jace as well.
"Definitely," said Jace. "It said, 'My master sends his regards.'"
Tessa's brow furrowed. "So, a male, then."
"Or someone who looks like a male," said Jem. "It could be an eidolon."
"An eidolon isn't smart enough to come up with a plan to steal a Pyxis by itself," Jace pointed out.
"Well, then, what do you think it was?" said Jem, not unkindly.
They continued to discuss, but Clary stopped listening. She let their voices fade into the background again, a quiet hum against her exhausted mind. The hissing inside her head grew. It was still unintelligible, but she could sense the demon roiling inside the Pyxis, spitting like fire.
"Stop," said Tessa suddenly. "Stop talking." They all looked up at her. She was staring at the Pyxis, her eyes wide. "Look."
It hadn't been Clary's imagination; the box was glowing, radiating a reddish-orange light. Clary drew in a shaking breath, her heartbeat quickening. Jace glanced over at her, his eyebrows drawing together, but before he could say anything, Tessa reached out and laid a hand on the Pyxis.
Instantly, the box blazed, with a sound like a bonfire erupting into being, and they all recoiled, shielding their eyes. Tessa cried out, snatching her hand back as the box glowed with a fiery, hellish light. The demon's laugh exploded in Clary's mind, loud enough to make her clutch her head in pain, gasping.
"Clary?"
Jace's voice echoed distantly, but it was drowned out by the booming voice in her head:
I WILL DESTROY YOU, CLARISSA FAIRCHILD.
The voice faded; Clary's eyes streamed as she pulled her gaze up to the others. Jace was watching her, his eyes wide. She nodded at him—I'm okay—before looking over at Tessa. She cradled her right hand in her left, her face a mask of pain. Jem, his hands on her shoulders, stared down at her hand in horror. It was blistering, blood bubbling in the wound, and the stench of burnt flesh spread through the air.
Clary's stomach lurched; she shoved her chair back, bolting out of the room and down the hallway. She made it to the bathroom just in time to throw herself in front of the toilet and vomit. Bile scalded her throat as she coughed up what remained of her dinner.
The nausea came in waves, and she sat in front of the toilet for several minutes, dry heaving. Eventually, the nausea subsided and she let out a soft moan, leaning back against the wall, her eyelids fluttering shut.
"Are you all right?"
Clary jumped, eyes flying open. Tessa stood in the doorway, looking down at her in some concern.
"I'm fine," said Clary guardedly. "How's your hand?"
"It was nothing magic couldn't fix," said Tessa breezily, going over to the sink and dampening a washcloth. She wrung out the excess water and knelt beside Clary, offering her the washcloth.
"Thanks," Clary said, taking it and wiping her mouth with it.
There was a long pause before Tessa said quietly, "You're pregnant."
Clary looked up quickly; Tessa was regarding her with a knowing smile. "How did you guess?" said Clary, surprised.
"I was the same with both my pregnancies," said Tessa, smiling fondly at the memory. Clary wondered briefly how someone could smile fondly at the memory of puking a thousand times, before she remembered with a lurch that both of Tessa's children were dead. She supposed Tessa would want to cherish every memory she had of her children. "Well, less so with James," Tessa went on. "More with Lucie. They say if you have a lot of morning sickness, it means you're having a girl."
Clary shook her head, smiling shyly. "I have a feeling it's a boy."
Tessa held out a hand, and Clary slid her own into it, letting the other woman pull her to her feet. Then, much to Clary's surprise, Tessa hugged her. "Congratulations," she whispered, and Clary smiled.
After a moment, Tessa pulled away, beaming. "Well, we should get back. The boys will be waiting for us."
"You go on," said Clary. "I just need to rinse out my mouth." Tessa nodded, slipping through the door. Clary could hear her footsteps echoing as she went back down the hallway. Letting out a long breath, Clary turned towards the sink and reached for the tap handles.
Clary...
She froze, her heart skittering in her chest. It's your imagination, she told herself. You're just jumpy.
Clary...
"Stop it," she said aloud, squeezing her eyes shut. The hissing voice dissipated, and she opened her eyes again, staring at her reflection. She took another steadying breath, and then leaned over the sink to rinse out her mouth.
Jace glanced up, breaking off midsentence, as Clary returned to the kitchen. His eyes searched hers, inquisitive. She smiled tiredly at him, and he seemed to relax marginally. She slid back into her chair, slipping a hand into Jace's as she rested her head on his shoulder. The Pyxis, she noticed, had been moved across the kitchen. "What did I miss?" she asked.
"We were talking about how the demon got into the Institute," said Jem. "Somehow, this 'master' knew a demon wouldn't be able to open the doors to the Institute, and even if it could, it would die the moment it stepped on hallowed ground. It has to be someone clever and powerful enough to think of possessing a corpse and then using a glamour to trick Jace."
"It couldn't be...you know...him?" Jace jerked his chin toward the Pyxis.
Tessa shook her head. "You trapped his corporeal form. He doesn't have access to his own realm to be able to send demons."
"Do you think it could be a warlock?" said Clary. "It was a warlock who raised the Prince of Hell in the first place, right?"
"But the demon killed him almost immediately," said Jace. "It's not likely anyone else would know it had even happened."
"I agree," Jem said. "I think it must have been another demon. A Greater Demon, most likely."
"The problem with that," Tessa interjected, "is that we have no idea what its intentions are. A warlock might want to harness its power for a spell, but there isn't enough known about the demon realms to really understand why a demon might be searching for a trapped Prince of Hell. And if someone is desperate enough to try to break into the Institute, there's no telling what they'll do to get this Pyxis."
"You're saying this could happen again?" said Jace. A note of fear had entered his voice, but if Clary had not known him extremely well, she would not have noticed it. She squeezed his hand under the table, and he squeezed tightly back.
"It's entirely possible," said Tessa quietly.
"Then we have to get rid of it," said Jace immediately. "Let's throw it into a fire or something and be done with it."
"I wish it were that easy," Jem said with a sigh. "Given what it did to Tessa, the Pyxis doesn't seem to be hampering the demon's powers much. Even if a fire could kill it—and that's a big 'if'—you'd likely blow up half of New York with it."
"Then is there a spell or something that can destroy the Pyxis?" Jace asked, his tone desperate.
"Not that I know of," Tessa said apologetically. "And if we tried and failed, the demon could absorb the spell's power and make itself stronger."
"Well, what, then?" Jace snapped. "There must be something we can do!"
"Jace," said Clary softly, resting a hand on his shoulder. He passed a hand over his eyes, and when he withdrew it he was calm again.
"Sorry," he said tightly. "I just—after what happened tonight, I don't want to take any chances."
"Of course you don't," said Tessa gently. "We understand." There was a brief moment of silence before Tessa spoke again, slowly. "While the demon is in the Pyxis, we cannot do anything to it. But if we released it from the Pyxis..."
"Absolutely not," said Jem immediately. "Releasing a Prince of Hell on purpose is a death wish."
"Well, we'd have to trap it somehow, obviously—"
"Magnus did trap it, earlier," said Jace. "He had it trapped in a circle of runes."
"Yes, but I don't imagine that would have lasted very long against a Prince of Hell," said Tessa. "We need something more powerful, something that will keep the demon contained long enough to banish him back to hell. And once the demon is gone, whoever is after it will have no cause to keep attacking the Institute."
"There might be something in the library," said Jace, pushing his chair back from the table and standing up. "If we start looking now, we might have an answer within a week—"
"No," said Tessa firmly. Jace stared at her. "The two of you have been through a dreadful ordeal tonight," she said in a gentler tone. "You need sleep. Especially Clary," she added, her eyes twinkling.
"What—" Jace glanced at Clary. "You told her?"
She smiled sheepishly. "She kind of figured it out."
"Am I missing something?" asked Jem in confusion, looking between them.
Clary hesitated, catching Jace's eye. He grinned, shrugging as if to say, if you want to. "I'm pregnant," Clary told Jem shyly.
"Oh!" His face lit up with surprise. "Well, congratulations to both of you."
"Thanks," said Clary. She smiled softly up at Jace, and he pressed a kiss to her temple.
"Well, like I said, you both need rest," said Tessa, smiling at them. "We can get started on some research tomorrow. In the meantime, I can try to fortify the Institute. Another demon shouldn't be able to get in without more Shadowhunter blood, but we can't be too careful, I think."
"I can help," said Jem. "Magnus taught us how to set up wards. Corpse possession or not, no demon is getting through those doors again."
"Thank you both so much," said Clary softly. They both nodded at her.
"Of course, there remains the question of the Pyxis," said Jem, glancing over at it with a frown. "We could find a place to lock it away, perhaps—"
"I don't want to just leave it lying around," said Jace. "It needs to be guarded in case a demon does manage to get into the Institute again. We'll take it with us."
Clary's breath hitched in her throat, and she swallowed painfully. The whispering in the back of her head had picked up again, faint but ominous all the same.
"Jace, are you sure?" asked Tessa cautiously.
"Yes." He exhaled slowly. "This whole thing is my fault to begin with. I should have killed the demon when I had the chance. If I hadn't trapped it in the Pyxis instead, none of this would be happening. It's my fault, and I should take responsibility."
"Jace," said Clary nervously, but he cut her off.
"Please, Clary," he said softly. "I want to make up for this." Clary knew him well enough to know what he really meant: that he needed to make up for it, to somehow atone for his wrongdoing. She also knew that nothing she said would convince him that he hadn't actually done any wrong.
"Okay," she said hesitantly. She read the silent thanks in his eyes before he crossed the kitchen, wrapped the Pyxis carefully in a dishtowel, and carried it back over to them.
"You're welcome to a room here, of course," Jace told Tessa and Jem.
"We'd appreciate that, thank you," said Tessa sincerely.
"There are a lot of spare rooms upstairs," Jace said. "We can show you to one, if you'd like."
"Don't worry about it. We'll find it ourselves," said Tessa, smiling. "Now go to sleep, both of you," she added in a chiding tone, shooing them out of the kitchen.
They headed back down the hallway towards the elevator in silence. After a moment, Clary felt Jace slide his hand into hers. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly.
Clary...
"I'm fine," she said, more sharply than she had intended. The whisper in her mind died away. "I just need sleep," she said in a softer voice.
They arrived at the end of the hallway, and Jace reached out with the hand holding the Pyxis to press the call button. Clary stared at the Pyxis, apprehensive; even now, she thought she could see it glowing under the dishtowel. The elevator descended with its usual thunderous clatter, and they rode it up in silence.
By the time they reached their room, all Clary wanted was to fall asleep. She changed into a tank top and pajama bottoms and dropped down on the bed, laying down with a sigh.
She heard the soft thunk of Jace setting the Pyxis on the side table before the bed depressed beside her and he crawled under the covers, pressing himself against her back and drawing her close to him. His hand slid down to rest over her stomach, and, smiling slightly, she laid her own hand on top of his, drifting off to sleep.
She was standing in a barren wasteland. The smell of sulfur stung her nostrils, and her lungs filled with hot, dry air that tasted of smoke. Around her, the world was red, dusty with loose, rust-colored gravel. In the distance, she saw the flickering of a blazing fire.
"Hello, Clarissa."
She spun around and immediately stumbled away from the creature before her. He was vaguely humanoid, fifteen feet tall, with skin the color of blood. His scarlet eyes glinted. Somehow, Clary knew his name.
"Beelzebub," she breathed. Her heart began to pound very fast.
The demon grinned at her, showing rows and rows of pointed teeth. "How lovely to finally see your face," he said in a rasping voice that seemed to echo inside her head. "I must say, the inside of your mind was dreadfully dull. Though, of course, we are still inside your mind."
He swung an enormous arm through the rock formation beside him. Clary threw her arms up over her head, expecting rocks to rain down on her, but the formation simply disintegrated into mist, blowing away on the hot wind.
She let her arms fall back to her side. The demon leered at her. "What do you want from me?" she snapped.
"I?" He chuckled, the sound like grating metal. "I want you to suffer, of course. I want you to know how much power I have."
Clary swallowed. "Why?"
"Because your idiot husband trapped me," Beelzebub snarled. "Truthfully, I'd rather torture him, but you Nephilim have a nasty habit of protecting yourselves. I cannot touch his mind. But you..." He grinned at her. "You have a weak spot. An Achilles heel, of sorts—that little thing growing inside your belly."
Clary drew in a sharp breath, her arms wrapping across her stomach as she shrank away from the demon. "Don't touch him."
"Oh, I won't," said the demon with a smirk. "As long as you carry that child, your mind is open to me. And I intend to destroy every part of it." He chuckled. "What will your dear Jace do as you slowly go mad? He'll blame himself, of course. I won't even have to torture him—he'll do it to himself, hating his own existence for causing your doom." He exhaled delightedly. "That's the problem with you mortals. You all carry your weaknesses right...here."
He stretched out a long forefinger, pressing it to Clary's chest, just over her heart. She cried out, collapsing to her hands and knees as the demon's finger seared her chest, like a white-hot poker burrowing into her flesh.
Beelzebub grinned, and all around her demons seemed to materialize out of the shadows, prowling towards her, enclosing the two of them, and she heard her name whispered on the wind over and over as pain flared in her mind and Beelzebub began to laugh...
...Clary...
"Clary—"
...Clary...
"Clary—Clary!"
Her own scream pierced her ears. Beelzebub's laugh pounded through her mind incessantly; it felt as if her head were being cleaved in two.
Someone was shaking her, shouting something, but her own shrieks drowned it out. Pain blazed in her head like an inferno, and she curled in on herself as she clawed at her head, the demon's laugh like needles inside her skull.
Distantly, she heard the door crash open; voices mingled above her. Through her screams, she heard someone shout, "Take the Pyxis!"
There was a scraping sound, then receding footsteps. Her head throbbed, but the pain was beginning to lessen, the demon's laughter subsiding. A sob wracked her body as she curled further into herself, her nails digging into her arms.
"Clary..."
Someone stroked her hair, pressed a kiss to her forehead. She gasped for breath, shaking uncontrollably.
"Shh...it's okay...it's over..."
Her head pounded, and she whimpered, but the pain slowly ebbed away. She lay there for a long moment, breathing raggedly. Then, shuddering, she peeled her eyes open. Jace's face was an inch from hers, pale with terror. His golden eyes were wide, staring at her. "Clary..."
"I'm okay," she whispered. Her throat felt raw and scratchy, and her chest stung horribly where the demon had touched it. She took in a trembling breath and slowly pushed herself to a sitting position. Her limbs shook violently, and she drew in another long breath. "I'm okay," she said with more conviction.
Something flickered in her peripheral vision, and she glanced up; Tessa was standing in the doorway, her hand half-covering her mouth. "Your chest..." she whispered.
Jace sucked in a breath, brushing aside the strap of Clary's tank top. Clary looked down and was unsurprised to see the imprint of a finger, three times the size of a human fingertip, scorched into her skin, just over her heart. The edge of it encroached on her marriage rune, though she was relieved to see that it was still intact. The burn pulsed, glowing as if it still contained the embers that had created it.
"What the hell..." Jace breathed. He brushed dry blood away from the wound, his fingers shaking almost imperceptibly. "How did this happen?"
"It's nothing," said Clary quickly, pulling her tank strap back onto her shoulder. "I'm okay, Jace, really—"
"You're not okay," said Jace vehemently. "Nothing about this is okay." His eyes dropped down to the still-glowing burn.
Clary put her hand against his cheek. After a moment, he covered her hand with his, bringing his eyes back up to her own. "I," she said very clearly, "am fine."
"You're hurt," Jace whispered. "He hurt you."
"Well, luckily we have healing runes," said Clary, smiling softly. Jace didn't return the smile, but he seemed slightly calmer. He reached past her to open the drawer of the nightstand, taking out a stele. He sat on the edge of the bed and began to carefully ink an iratze next to the burn. Clary glanced up; Tessa was still hovering in the doorway. "You can come sit down, you know. Plenty of room."
After a moment's hesitation, she crossed the room and sat down on the other side of Clary. "Are you sure you're—"
"I'm fine."
"How are you this calm?" Jace demanded as he finished the iratze.
"Well, one of us has to be," Clary said. She heard a soft noise and looked up to find Jem in the doorway.
"I put the Pyxis in a closet in the east wing," he said. His eyes fell on Clary's burn. "By the Angel..."
"Don't worry," said Clary dismissively. "This is just a glorified sunburn."
"Er—" Jem looked at Tessa for help, but she just shrugged. Jace's lip quirked up at the corner. "Well, it looks like it could use an iratze," said Jem.
"I already—" Jace broke off, his brow furrowing. "What the..."
Clary looked down at her chest. The iratze had faded to a pearly white—but the burn was still there, looking just as new. Jace caught up the stele and drew another iratze, closer to the burn this time. For a moment it shone blackly on Clary's skin—and then it faded, dissolving like mist.
Swearing, Jace slashed another iratze with such force that Clary had to suppress a gasp of pain. Again, the rune sank in and vanished like it had never existed.
"Jace, stop," said Clary, grabbing his hand as he made to draw the iratze again. She tried to pry the stele out of his hand, but he was clutching it like a lifeline. "Jace," she said again, softly.
"Why isn't it working?" Jace snapped, flinging the stele away. It hit the opposite wall and shattered, falling to the floor in pieces. Clary took Jace's shaking hands in hers and squeezed them tightly.
"This is a powerful demon we're dealing with," said Jem. "It has magic we don't know of. Magic that seems to be blocking the effect of runes."
"How?" Jace demanded. "How did—how did any of this happen? Why does the demon keep affecting her like this? Why isn't the Pyxis drawing away its power?"
"I—" Jem paused. "What do you mean, keep affecting her like this?"
Jace met Clary's eyes, swallowing visibly. She stroked her thumbs across the backs of his hands.
"It's okay," said Clary softly. She turned to Jem and Tessa. Her heart had begun to flutter nervously, but when she spoke, her voice was steady. "Earlier, when I was fighting the demon, I grabbed the Pyxis to protect it. And he got into my head, somehow. He...he made me think I was having a miscarriage." Her breath hitched as the memory gripped her, but she swallowed hard, pushing it away. Not yet, she thought, glancing at Jace.
Tessa let out a quiet, "Oh," her eyes softening.
"And I touched it too, just a little while before that," said Jace. "But nothing like that happened to me. I felt a little like I was in a trance, but I wasn't hurt like Clary was. So clearly the demon is affecting her differently than the rest of us, but I don't know why." He looked at Jem, whose brow was furrowed. "Do you?"
"I couldn't say for certain," said Jem softly. "But I might have some idea. I've seen this before, albeit to a lesser extent." He sat down on the edge of the bed beside Tessa. She slid her hand into his. "Shadowhunters undergo the protection ceremony when they're born," Jem said, "but before that, they have no protection from demonic influence. What tends to happen is that the mother confers some of her protection to her unborn baby, leaving her own mind vulnerable to demons."
"You're saying this is because of the baby," said Jace. Clary glanced at him, trying to read his face, but it remained impassive.
"Yes and no," said Jem quietly. "It's because of the baby that the demon is able to access Clary's mind, but it's why he wants access that's bothering me. That, and what he has to gain from it." He turned to Clary. "I need you to tell me exactly what just happened. Everything you can remember."
Clary felt her breath hitch. Jace studied her; he was probably the only one who could see the fear behind her façade of nonchalance, just as she was the only one who could ever see the insecurities he often hid behind sarcasm. "You don't have to do this right now," he said. "Not if you don't want to."
"I'm sorry, but she does," said Jem gently. "We can't risk her forgetting anything. Any little detail could be important."
Jace looked back at Clary, and she nodded, taking a deep, steadying breath. Slowly, she recounted her dream, telling them about the red landscape and everything she could remember about the demon's appearance—and then she stopped abruptly.
"Clary, what did the demon say?" asked Tessa gently.
"I..." She glanced at Jace again. The demon's words echoed through her mind. He'll blame himself, of course. "He didn't say anything. He touched me—here—" She laid a hand over her heart. "And then I woke up. That's all that happened."
Tessa surveyed her closely. "Clary, are you sure there wasn't anything else?" she asked carefully, but before Clary could say anything, Jace cut in.
"That's enough," he said sharply. "She doesn't need to relive it over and over again. What she needs is for that burn to be cleaned and bandaged, and then she needs to rest." He stood up and pressed a kiss to Clary's forehead. "I'll be back in a minute," he said softly. He slid his hands out of hers and left the room.
Jem looked at Clary carefully. "Clary," he said tentatively, "I don't want to cause you any more pain. But if there's anything you're leaving out at all..."
Clary hesitated. The knowledge inside her burned as painfully as the burn on her chest. He'll blame himself...he'll blame himself...
No one can know.
"I told you everything I remember," said Clary. "I just..." She swallowed hard and gave a smile that she hoped looked more real than it felt. "I think I want to go back to sleep. Pregnancy's got nothing on surprise demon attacks."
"Are you sure you're—"
"I'm great," said Clary. "Seriously, don't worry."
"We'll stay with you until Jace gets back," Tessa said.
"There's no need," Clary said. She felt like she was about to break open, but she kept the smile on her face. "I'll be okay. Go back to sleep, seriously."
Tessa and Jem exchanged a glance, but said nothing else as they got up.
The moment they had left the room, closing the door behind them, Clary crumpled in on herself. Her whole body shook with silent sobs. The pain she had been trying to ignore overcame her, and she felt it all at once as if it had been dropped onto her shoulders. It wasn't just the burn on her chest—her heart and mind ached with the knowledge that she was being used as a weapon against Jace.
Her only consolation was that she could protect him. Jace couldn't blame himself unless he knew that the only reason the demon was attacking Clary was because Jace loved her.
To love is to destroy.
Fire surged through Clary's veins. The demon wanted to destroy Jace through his love for her—to hell if she was going to let it.
She would not let Jace put his walls back up. Not when she had spent so long knocking them down.
There was the sound of approaching footsteps, and Clary hastily wiped her tears away, composing herself. Jace reentered the room, carrying a tray stacked with supplies from the infirmary. "Where did Tessa and Jem go?" he asked.
"I told them to go back to bed," said Clary, keeping her voice light with a great deal of effort as Jace sat down beside her and set the tray down on the bedside table. He dipped a towel into a bowl of water and began to clean the burn. "I figured this whole nurse thing was going to get incredibly sexy, and that might be awkward for them. I mean, they were born in the Victorian era."
"Well, if you didn't want them to know we've had some sexy times, you probably shouldn't have told them you're pregnant," said Jace, sounding much more like himself as he grinned at her.
"It's one thing for them to know we've had sexy times," said Clary. "It's another to witness them."
"And exactly what kind of sexy times did you think we'd be having?" Jace asked, arching an eyebrow.
"This kind," said Clary, leaning in to kiss him. His hands stopped in their ministrations, dropping the towel into her lap, and she felt his lips part under hers. She smiled against his mouth. "This is very sexy," she murmured.
"Clary..." Jace pulled away, his gold irises nearly eclipsed by his pupils. "Stop making jokes for a second." His eyes searched hers. "Are you sure you're okay?"
She brushed her lips against his. "I love you," she said.
"I love—"
"But if you ask me that again," she continued, cutting him off, "I will kill you."
He gave a small smile, picking the towel back up. "I'll take that as a yes."
A/N: If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a review! Thanks so much for reading :)
~4L