I was going to put more song lyrics here
But I couldn't think of anything
Anyway. Here's the story all about how a merchant's life got flip-turned upside down
STAHL
C RANK
Anna: Step right up people! These are the rarest herbs in all of Ylisse!
Available to you for the once in lifetime low price of fifty silver!
Villager: I'll take five!
Girl: I'll take ten!
Soldier: Put me down for thirty!
Anna: Hehehe. Look at all that coin! And all for some lousy weeds. Wait 'til my sisters hear about this.
Stahl: What's the big commotion for?
Anna: Get in line Stahl!
Stahl: But I wasn't planning on buying anything.
Anna: Then move! I'm making a killing here.
Of course, sir! Coming right up?
Oh for you ma'am? I'll shave ten silvers off.
Why yes little girl, these do cure fever blisters!
Stahl: What? I mean, technically but you have to pair them with- mmph!
Anna: Pay no attention to the plain looking knight!
Anna: Aaaaaaaaand that's the last of it! Would you look at all that glimmering goodness?
Stahl: How did you sell all of those? They weren't worth even a quarter the price you were asking for.
Anna: Placebo effect.
Stahl: Huh?
Anna: Convince someone they need something and they'll buy it even if it's completely worthless to them.
Stahl: Isn't that a little morally suspect?
Anna: Not really.
Stahl: But-
Anna: Klink, klink, klink goes my pouch of coins! Klink, klink, klink!
Stahl: I don't think she hears me anymore...
B RANK
Anna: Another day, another haul!
Stahl: Hey Anna!
Anna: Hello yourself Stahl! You need something?
Stahl: No, but I think I might have something you need.
Anna: A bottomless bank account?
Stahl: Uh… what's a bank?
Anna: Nevermind that. Whatcha got for me?
Stahl: These!
Anna: … a pile of leaves?
Stahl: Yeah!
Anna: Uh… why would I ever need these?
Stahl: Don't you know Drake Flakes when you see them?
Anna: Drake Flakes?
Stahl: Yes, Drake Flakes! They're a special kind of leaf that only appears once every hundred years.
They slightly reverse aging to whoever sticks them to their face.
Anna: They do? How come I've never heard of them?
Stahl: That's because they only grow on the Mila tree in Valm and they're usually all taken by pilgrims.
Ever wonder how Lady Tiki always stays so young? These are why.
Anna: I see… how much?
Stahl: Five gold per leaf!
Anna: Hah! Noooo waaaay! Sixty silver.
Stahl: Three gold and thirty silver!
Anna: One gold!
Stahl: Two and a half!
Anna: One!
Stahl: It's my final offer.
Anna: Then I guess I'm not buying them.
Stahl: Fair enough. I just thought I'd give you a chance to buy some before Bob got a hold of them.
Anna: Wha-? Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop right there mister plain looking!
Stahl: Hm?
Anna: Did you say Bob? As in Bob the Feroxi Trader?
Stahl: Uh… Sure. Why?
Anna: His family are my family's biggest rivals!
Stahl: They are- I mean, yeah they are. I knew that.
He said he could sell them for a little over twelve gold.
I offered them to him for five and a half, but wanted to give you a chance as well.
I guess I have no choice but to go back to him. Since you aren't interested.
Anna: Me? Not interested? Perish the thought!
I believe the asking price was five gold, yes?
Stahl: I don't know. You don't seem very committed-
Anna: Six gold!
Stahl: Seven!
Anna: Six and three fourth!
Stahl: You have yourself a deal!
Anna: Yeeees! Take that Bob! I'm gonna make a killing off these and rub it in your face!
Stahl: (Well that was easier than you thought.)
A RANK
Anna: Stahl! Stahl!? Gods damn it where are you!?
Stahl: Did you call me?
Anna: Yes! You lying piece of pegasus dung!
Stahl: Finally figured out they were normal leaves, huh?
Anna: Bob said he hasn't even met you before!
Stahl: And you said those weeds were some of the rarest herbs on the continent.
Anna: What's that got to do with anything.
Stahl: Placebo effect.
Anna: I- Wha-? That isn't-
Stahl: Fair? Yeah. Lying tends not to be. Lesson learned?
Anna: That's just cruel!
Stahl: Lesson. Learned?
Anna: Okay, yes. Lesson learned. Learned after wasting over a hundred gold.
Ugh. That's going to take all month to earn back.
Stahl: Here you can have it all back.
Anna: …
Is this another trick?
Stahl: Have you REALLY learned your lesson?
Anna: Yes…
Stahl: Then it isn't.
Anna: Oh, thank Naga!
Y'know. As terrible as that was, you're a natural saleman Stahl.
Stahl: No I'm not. I felt terrible about it every second of the way!
Lying doesn't come naturally to me like it does for you.
Anna: Ouch!
Stahl: Sorry! I didn't mean it to come out like that.
Anna: No. You're right.
But when I said you're a natural I meant at pitching an idea to a customer.
Stahl: Oh. Thanks! My dad's an apothecary, so I guess I picked it up from him.
Anna: Is he now?
Tell you what, how about we make use of what's left of those weeds?
Stahl: How're we gonna do that?
Anna: You said it can be used to cure fever blisters, right?
Stahl: Yeah, but only when mixed with another herb.
Anna: Well how about you make up a potion and I'll sell it?
You can take home, say, seven percent of the profits?
Stahl: Twelve!
Anna: Ten!
Stahl: You got yourself a deal!
S RANK
Anna: Enjoy your purchase!
Wow. A lot of people really need a cure for fever blisters. What kind of town is this?
Stahl: I see the potions are selling well.
Anna: Yup! They're flying off the shelf faster than I can restock them.
Stahl: I'll make a new batch up when we get back to camp.
Anna: Well look who's being a dilligent partner!
Stahl: ...
Anna: Something wrong Stahl?
Stahl: Remember how I said I was going to go buy something yesterday?
Anna: Yeah…
Stahl: Well, this is what I bought.
Anna: Ooh! Such a pretty ring! Who's the lucky girl?
Stahl: Well, she's standing right in front of me.
Anna: Huh!?
Stahl: Anna; you may not be the most honest woman I've ever met.
In fact, you aren't even close.
But you're the most energetic, and beautiful.
And you're the only one I've ever loved. Will you marry me?
Anna: … This isn't a trick like with the leaves, right?
Stahl: What? No!
Anna: Oh. Well in that case I accept!
Stahl: Really?
Anna: Stahl, you're the only man that can keep me on my toes. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with.
Now let's get back out there and make some money. I want a wedding covered in coin!
Stahl: A mountain of coin, coming right up!
SULLY
C RANK
Sully: Oi, twig!
I said oi!
Anna: I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
Sully: No one else's around, so figure it out.
Anna: What's got you so grumpy?
Sully: Whatever the hell it was that you were doing in that last battle!
Anna: Uh. Fighting?
Sully: Looked more like floundering to me.
Anna: Hey! I'm not that bad!
Sully: Please. A priest could do a better job with an arm tied behind his back.
Anna: Ohoho! I've got a coin pouch that says otherwise.
Sully: Is that a bet?
Anna: Well it's not like I'm just handing over a coin pouch for no reason.
Set up a sparing match. I'll show you what I can do!
Sully: Har! This'll be fun to watch.
Anna: I'll be the one laughing when I walk away with twice what's in that pouch.
Sully: We'll see about that, skinny.
B RANK
Anna: Ugh… I think my bruises have bruises.
Sully: That's twenty more push ups!
Anna: I hate you.
Sully: Less whining more training!
Anna: But my… everything hurts.
Sully: Don't complain to me. You wouldn't even need to do this if you hadn't lost that match.
Anna: He was almost twice my size!
Sully: And I had to deal with a swarm of tome wielding wyvern riders in the last battle.
And you're a trickster. Next time try being more tricky.
Anna: Tricky?
Sully: I'm a soldier, not a damn dictionary. Now keep going!
Anna: Ugh!
One! (Big dumb exercise freak)
Two! (Making me do this when I could be making money)
Three (Next time you want an elixir I'm making you pay double)
Sully: Aaaaaaaand… you're done!
Anna: Sweet merciful Naga…
Sully: Wimp.
Anna: Slave driver.
How many more times do I have to do this?
Sully: As many times as I damn well please.
Anna: Oh… I think I'll just die now if that's okay.
Sully: Go right ahead. I need to plan out your regimen for tomorrow.
Anna: *tortured groan*
A RANK
Anna: *huff* Aha! *puff* I win!
Sully: Gotta admit. I'm impressed.
Anna: *heavy breathing*
Sully: You okay down there?
Anna: Just slowly dying.
Sully: Enjoy it. That was your last exercise.
Anna: Yes! Freedom!
Sully: (Well she recovered quickly)
Anna: I need to snuggle up next to a coin pouch.
Sully: You can have this one.
Anna: *gasp* really?
Sully: Sure. If you can beat me in a sparing match.
Anna: Okay.
Sully: Huh? I thought you'd- Ghrk!
Anna: How's THAT for tricky?
Sully: *uncontrollable sputtering*
Anna: I win. Thanks for the money.
Sully: *cough* Anna! *choking* You can't just sucker punch me like that and walk away!
Anna?
Damn her eyes! She hits line a boar... Maybe I shouldn't have made her do so many push ups…
In West Ylissea, born and raised. Killin' risen, that's how I spent mosta my days
Sorry-not sorry
Decided to do Stahl and Sully in the same post cuz I could.*
Drake Flakes are part of a balanced breakfast.*
Next up: Donnell