No one knew who the cat belonged to, or how he had even come to live here in the first place. Some say he simply arrived one day, blew in like a bad storm. Or, as some theorized amid snickers, the castle itself had willed him into existence just to torment misbehaving miscreants. Most likely, someone had left a door open late at night and the cat had wandered in, finding chasing mice to be a lovely hobby and so was permitted to stay, even long after he had given up on rodents altogether. But that wasn't nearly as interesting of a story.
He didn't have an owner, so he didn't really have a name, but Kairielis had taken to calling him Doc Berlioz. He was certainly prissy enough to have a pretentious name like Berlioz. Most everyone else just called him Destroyer of Carpets. She decided to shorten this to Doc instead, and tack it on as his title just for fun.
Regardless of what he was called, his attitude was ever unchanging. Swipe first, ask questions later. He only really ever trusted people he knew the smell of and had decided were pleasant company. So Kairielis was safe, as were most of the more permanent staff members, but anyone else was fair game to his clawed judgment.
That was why this morning, she was particularly confused to be greeted at her bedroom door by the sour face of Berlioz, the puffy feline menace himself, slumped relatively contentedly within Sora's arms. One grumpy face nestled right below a bright one.
"Good morning! This guy really wanted to get in your room and I figured you didn't really want your rug all chewed up, so...sorry if I woke you."
He had an apologetic look on his face, a bit regretful at his perceived inconvenience, but it did nothing to dampen the cheer in his eyes.
In all honesty she had been up for a while already, she was just a bit lost in thought so the knock was actually quite welcome. That, and she was still too stunned by the relatively calm demeanor of His Kitty Majesty to really complain anyway.
"Ah...um...you can just set him down now."
Complying, Sora bent down to set the cat back on the slightly frayed rug by her door. Once free, Berlioz gave an exaggerated yawn, a stretch, and started immediately cleaning his face. Sora gave him one last parting scratch on the ears, to which the cat gave an appreciative purr.
How did he do it? He had a long way yet to explain how he was able to accomplish this feat so early in the morning and not be sporting extensive scratches down his arms, but she decided it didn't really matter. It seemed best not to question things with him.
She silently watched the cat waddle into her room, jump up onto his favorite chair and slump his fat rump down on a very well-loved periwinkle pillow for a nap.
"That really is odd behavior from him, you know. Just be careful next time, I don't want you getting attacked. He's more of a princess than me sometimes."
Sora tilted his head, bemused, over at the cat snoozing gently on the chair. "What's his name?"
"He doesn't really have one. But I call him Doc Berlioz. It stands for Destroyer of Carp—ah..."
She noticed Riku, finally, standing by the door, observing her closely and she cut herself off, realizing that the last thing she wanted to do was remind him of the awkward situation in which they met her yesterday.
Riku, she noticed, was somewhat suspiciously eyeing the frayed bits of rug in front of the door.
"Carp, you said? I wasn't aware they swam in this area."
"A-ah...of course they do! There's a very lovely Koi Pond in the east garden."
"Hmm. I see."
He clearly didn't believe her. What a way to start off the morning.
Shaking her head, she gestured off over in the direction of the temple. "Well, no sense in loitering around here. Off we go! I'm a very busy woman."
Good thing she could use the Light ritual as a distraction this time. She saw Sora's face light up as he remembered where they were headed. She also didn't miss the warning glance Riku shot him, and the subtle gesture for him to be quiet. No doubt he had already gotten a stern talking to about proper decorum in the temple.
It was a very serious place after all. Filled with very serious people. And water. Lots and lots of water, ready and waiting for her light to make it shine. Shine like the morning like bearing down on the three of them as they crossed the gardens to the sacred inner lake. She couldn't hide the skip in her step, the irreplaceable excited lightness of joy lifting her up to the toes of her feet. A whole new day, a whole brand new day. And they had both come back to her, just as promised.
So together they went, for her to do the same thing she had always done.
But it certainly didn't feel the same.
The cool water refreshingly lapped at her bare feet as she stood on the half submerged stone path leading out to the center of the deep pool. The surface appeared smooth and still, but she knew this was just an illusion, as she could hear the musical cascade of the falls as the very edges spilled out over the surrounding wall. Well, fall was more of an expression, considering that the water actually rose upwards through the various instrumental pipes along the outside of the temple. The castle scientists had long puzzled the reason why in some areas the water simply flowed...up, but as far as she knew, if they had figured it out no one had bothered to fill her in. But it certainly seemed like a decent place to build a holy temple of water, she couldn't argue with that. Taking advantage of this natural phenomenon, the architects of the temple placed various reeds and specially designed holes into the pipes winding around the temple, directing the flow of water as it flew upwards. The result of this work was a natural hymn constantly echoing through the very walls up into the sky. The water, upon reaching the pinnacle of its height, sprayed out into the clouds as a fine mist, often decorating the nearby lake view with arching rainbows.
She knew the tune of the lake music by heart, and had written her own words to match every changing note, just to give herself something to focus on as she completed the ritual. She sang it to herself sometimes, when she was feeling particularly peppy.
And despite feeling peppier than ever upon entering the pavilion, now that she was starting her procession to the center, she realized one simple problem. She was far too nervous now to mutter a single lyric.
She cast a glance back over her shoulder at Sora and Riku who were standing in the usual guard positions by the door. But unlike usual, she was ever the more starkly aware at the fact that they were staring at her. And Sora was smiling.
Oh gosh, he even just waved.
She licked at her lips in hopes that it would help moisten the sticky dryness of her mouth.
Nope, still parched.
Instead, she fiddled with the sides of her skirt, while wondering if she should make up some extra flair and pretend that simply was the way it was always done. Just for fun. Tell them both it was required for all onlookers to do a dance number like a minstrel's jig around the center podium or something. Maybe she should tell them they had to pray too, or shout something triumphantly ridiculous into the air, a spectacular 'Callooh! Callay!"
It would be funny, but then she would have to deal with them, er...Sora rather, doing that every time. Riku definitely wouldn't. Besides, it would be a little cruel to try to make them do something so ridiculous every morning.
Maybe not, then.
Without realizing it, the entire time she had been thinking, her feet had been propelling her forward across the stone path, as if moved only by muscle memory. She came to a stop in front of the podium that rose up out of the very center of the pool where the water was at its deepest. But thanks to the stone path she was on, it never licked her higher than her ankles.
Nothing else to do but just free her mind and get this show over with.
Resting her left hand on the top of the faintly luminescent crystal set into the podium stand, she brushed her other hand briefly against the small stone hanging around her neck before placing it under a single running stream of water pouring down from the ceiling, just under the skylight.
The only stream actually falling.
Her fingers rustled through the water and she closed her eyes, feeling the round crystal under her hand grow a bit warmer, slightly slick with her sweat. She gripped it a bit more tightly, using it to keep her balance.
It was like second nature, performing Light Refraction. She didn't have to think about it, just feel the light inside of her burn, and flow out through her fingertips. Like usual, she tried to let her mind run blank, but felt the same disturbing thoughts that had woken her from her dreams this morning bubbling to the surface.
It felt like she was standing beneath a massive scope, being glared at by either something horribly malevolent, or worse, something that considered her predicament to be a trifling amusement. The Gods, if they were up there somewhere, were surely not beings she could understand. Seven beings, each supposed to be so distinct and care for the world in their own way, their names and depictions carved into the walls of every holy building, and even a few homes of the especially devout or superstitious. The grand Celestial Seven, who purged the darkness from the gardens long ago, keeping it a safe, beautiful land of peace. The ever considerate Celestial Seven, who granted her family line with the blessing of the light so they could always protect it and drive any creeping darkness away.
Their blessing. Or maybe their curse.
She tried to accept that there was a reason behind it all, but it felt at times like she was being toyed with. Why else would those deities have chosen to pass over her mother? Compared to her, Kairielis was clumsy, rash, easily flustered, not to mention her mother was downright womanly, elegant in all the right places, while she was, well…
A puny stick bug with a temper. That must be how the Gods saw her. Yet for some reason they chose her. It must be a joke. Kairielis shifted her bare feet on the stone floor, trying not to let her insecurities disturb her work.
But it still felt like someone or something was watching her. Someone far less friendly than the two knights keeping their eyes focused on her back as the pool of water around her slowly filled with bursting golden streaks of light. She hoped that her work, at the very least, would be appreciated among the two she knew for sure were there.
She took a few shaky steps out of the pool. The remaining droplets of water still sticking to her skin, filled with the twinkling glow of light now dancing about inside, slid off of her ankles and returned home to the lake. Not a speck wasted. The water, now filled with light, would eventually travel throughout the kingdom, spreading her blessing with it.
Without really knowing why, she lifted her chin and her eyes immediately searched for him. Maybe just because of how excited he had been yesterday. Or maybe because she was greedy for the praise. Whatever the reason, she found him quickly and beamed.
"This is Light Refraction."
She proudly gestured behind her, and expected Sora to start chirping off a thousand different synonyms for 'amazing' just like he had when they first arrived at the temple and he got his first look around the place. But he seemed so far moved beyond words that he could do nothing of the sort, his excited face frozen in a breathless gasp.
Oddly, it was one of the best compliments she had ever heard.
She saw Riku giving her a slight nod. "Nice work. Though, it is certainly a lot...flashier than I envisioned."
"It is a bit, isn't it?"
She glanced at the light shifting through the water, glowing and pulsing like lines of fireflies dancing through the night sky.
Snapping out of his stupor, Sora began rapidly shaking his head. "It's beautiful, and not flashy at all! The light is really kind and gentle, even when you look directly at it."
She couldn't help but notice that he distinctly wasn't looking at the water any more.
"I can tell it came from your heart because everything about it is just like you."
He did not just say that.
Gods, how am I supposed to respond to something like that?
She trembled a little at the knees, swallowing heavily. Surely he wasn't trying to...imply anything? He must have just misspoke or something.
Riku gave him a sound smack upside his head.
"Sorry about that. Sometimes he says things without thinking."
She had noticed.
But she was kind of secretly glad he did.
"A-ah, well..." Struggling to regain her composure, she brushed at her hair with her fingertips, suddenly questioning if perhaps she should have spent more time combing it this morning.
Before she could formulate any sort of response, she noticed one of the temple priests wandering in through a side door, clutching a broom. The priest tried not to make himself a distraction, and he resumed his task of softly sweeping circles around the stones, but Kairielis decided it would be best to get a certain knight off the premises as fast as possible before he did something ostensibly...forbidden.
"Anyway this is all finished now, so let's get on with the day shall we? As I said I'm a very busy woman!"
She quickly began marching towards the large main door, covered by the long wisteria trellis and was only relieved when she heard the two of them silently following her.
There was only one problem: she had no idea where she was going to go next.
To a young child, an expansive field of sunflowers was many things. A golden sea blowing on the wind, in which one could never drown. A maze of twisting stalks, to dodge and slip between at full running speed. Or most vexing for those responsible for babysitting, it was secret place full of the best hiding spots.
Now that she was older, Kairielis was slightly pained to see that the sunflowers were a little bit too stubbly now to provide full body cover. And any maze would be easily solved just by standing on her tip-toes. But it did still remind her of a sea: golden yellow and shifting with every breeze. How long had it been since she last came to visit here? She couldn't really say. And why she had suddenly decided to venture here with her two knights? She couldn't really say either. Maybe because Riku had reminded her of the nearby Koi pond this morning.
But the air in the fields here was fresh, mildly sweet, and carried with it the distant whinging cries of the cicadas in the tall oak trees beyond. It was the furthest point she was allowed to go, without express permission from her father. Perhaps somehow she found it fitting to take these two unconventional ones here, right on the border between what was allowed and what was not. Perhaps egged on by the cicadas, those exceedingly loud insects who patiently keep their heads submerged, unobtrusive, until the one day they can burst free and sing loudly to the heavens as they seek the comfort and companionship of others, at least before, inevitably, their empty husks tumble to the ground, spent and broken, yet far from regretful.
They were so loud she could hear their hum in the afternoons, drifting into the castle on the wind. And while she was sad for them, knowing that their syncopated calls were heralding their own inevitable demise, she believed that at least for that short while they must be quite happy. Or so she hoped.
She slipped her sandals off her feet, her toes digging satisfyingly into the loam as she paced slowly towards the edge of the flowers. As a child, this was the best part. It was upon reaching this spot that she would then turn over her shoulder to give a cheeky grin to her guard before darting, giggling, through the stalks. She cast a quick glance.
He was waving at her again.
Oh, darn it all.
Running away from these two simply wouldn't be fun. She honestly didn't want to escape from them.
She waded, rather than ran, slowly, into the field, keeping one hand raised up over her head, protectively dangling her shoes as she tip-toed her way among the stalks to reach the small central hill that rose up like an island around the sea of flowers. There was a tall oak tree here, with just the perfect amount of shade for reading books on a lazy day. And there still remained, she was excited to see, a small worn plank held up by two thick ropes dangling from one of its branches. It wasn't the most comfortable swing, she remembered, but if it had been she probably wouldn't have spent much time apart from it, so perhaps that was for the best. She had sat there as a child, while her mother would rest under the tree with her harp...
This was where many of their silly nursery rhyme songs were written.
She took a seat, tentatively, forgetting to test the strength of the ropes first. Thank goodness it still held. Things could have gotten embarrassing quite quickly. It was a bit more...snug around her hips that she remembered, though. She flushed, and smoothed down her skirt a bit, still reflecting on the strange comments Sora had made this morning. From a cursory assessment of his words, one might have assumed he had called her beautiful.
But surely not.
She waited there a moment for her two knights to finish struggling their way through the flowers to reach her, and waved them up to the hill.
"Welcome to Rope swing Island, population: three humans, a tree, a handful of ants and one really loud cicada."
Just as she introduced him, or her, the cicada in question perked up its wings and hovered away in a hurry.
Sora watched it fly off with a frown. "Aw, hope we didn't chase him off."
"And in an instant, the population of the island was summarily decimated." Riku said, with the tiniest discernible grin as he leaned against the tree, his emerald eyes tracing the steady flight path of the insect.
She liked when he told jokes, he had surprisingly good delivery. Then again, he was supposed to be pretty witty so maybe it only made sense. Kicking her feet at the dirt below her, she swayed in the tiny plank swing. She didn't feel confident enough to push off too hard, not wanting to snap the ropes, or the branch for that matter. That would certainly make her feel dainty all right, bringing the whole tree down.
"Riku, why do they call you The..." she searched her memory for the correct name. "The Gallant Dawnbreaker, is it?"
"It is. I received that title after some events in Trabia Garden."
What a miserably vague answer.
"What were you doing all the way up there?"
It was pretty far from his home. In fact, she wasn't sure if there were even two Gardens further apart. Riku, she recalled, had said he was from Balamb, the tropical paradise in the south. She assumed Sora was from there as well. Trabia, in contrast to Balamb, was a snowy mountainous region that was mostly famous for its hearty roses and its even heartier people.
"Suffice it to say, the mountains aren't always the best location for a village. And sometimes the greatest enemy one has to face is a torrent of snow."
"So...you stopped an avalanche and saved a village?" She tried guessing.
"Nothing is going to stop an avalanche."
"What did you do, then? Where did the title come from?"
The way he leaned back against the tree lead her to believe that was all he was going to say about the matter. She scuffed her heel through the dirt again. Well that told her...not exactly nothing, but not much either. She glanced over at Sora who was trying his hardest to look particularly interested in the ants crawling up the tree. He would know the story behind Riku's title for sure. If she wanted to know, she knew she could pry it out of him.
That poor, innocent and defenseless boy.
She felt downright scheming as she laid the back of her hand on her forehead and leaned exaggeratedly back on the swing, clinging to the rope. "Oh my, this heat is really getting to me...perhaps you could go fetch me a glass of water, Riku? Pretty please? I'm soooo thirsty."
The knight in question looked like he had just eaten a sour lemon, his eyes glancing between the princess and his friend, not even needing to second guess exactly what her plan was.
"Right. And I suppose if I kindly suggest that you set Sora to that task you'll have a reason against it?"
Kairielis once more faked a swoon in her swing. "Oh, this heat is unbearable!"
Sora finally stopped observing his little ant friends. "If Riku doesn't want to go I really don't mi-"
She didn't even let him finish. "Sora might get lost! And you know your way around so well Mr. Dawnbreaker. So if you please..."
"I won't get lost!" Sora started trying to dart off towards the flower field.
"Stop!" She ordered sharply, halting him immediately in his tracks. "You're staying right where you are."
Sora remained stiff, frozen like a statue. And Riku sighed heavily.
He knew her plan. And she knew that he knew. The minute she had Riku out of the way, she was going to force the truth out of his companion who was far too honest for his own good. And there was nothing he could do about it!
Sora, meanwhile, had by now spun back around, his expression desperate, realizing that things were about to get a little difficult for him.
"Fine." Riku grumbled and glared ice daggers in the direction of his friend. "But if you tell her anything I promise you she's going to learn a...figment or two about you."
Kairielis had no idea what that meant, but Sora clearly did, as his face quickly drained of color.
"Hey, wait a minute! You can't-"
Riku's twitch of a smile seemed to indicate that he most definitely could. He offered a ridiculously over dramatic bow to the princess, who knew for sure he was doing it just to irritate her, then reluctantly stomped off to get her water, leaving Sora behind, in a state of absolute panic.
Kairielis watched him go with a huff.
He was far too cheeky sometimes.
"U-uh, so...uh...which do you like more, sunflowers or, uh..." Sora frantically searched around him. "Those...white flowers over there?"
He was pointing to a patch of daisies growing in a little bit of sun by the oak tree. But she wasn't going to let him distract her. She had him right where she wanted him.
"Sunflowers. Now, Sora..."
"Wh-what about...uh...oak trees or-"
"Spill it."
He shuffled a few steps away from her and started shifting his weight nervously back and forth between his feet. "But..."
She felt a little guilty making him suffer, but there was also something adorable about that helpless look on his face.
"If you don't tell me, I'll just sneak into Ienzo's record office later and read his books. I've done it before. So I'll find out the truth sooner or later. You telling me now just saves me the trouble."
He gaped at her, like he couldn't quite tell if she was bluffing or not.
It was a bit of a lie. While she had once slipped unnoticed into the records room late at night and rooted around, she hadn't been able to understand the filing system at all and found nothing of value. Nothing at least, that was worthy of the punishment she received after getting caught soon after. She would definitely never be doing that again. Sora didn't have to know that bit.
"But..."
He was still putting up a surprisingly strong, albeit not very verbose defense. She really hadn't wanted to play this card, but he left her with no choice.
"If you're worried about whatever Riku's blackmailed you with..." She fluttered her eyelashes at him devilishly. "I'll have you know, even if you choose not to say anything I can always simply claim you did. Then your secret will come out no matter what."
Another flutter of her eyelashes and his face started to redden.
"So there's really no need to hold back, is there?"
Oh, she felt pure evil, but it paid off. His whole face was flushed now, despite his attempts to hide it, and all his previous desperation was replaced by embarrassment and defeat.
"It's a bit of a long story..." He glanced up at her, perhaps hoping that this would put her off, but she just waved for him to continue.
"Don't worry about that. It's a bit of a long walk back to get to the kitchen for water."
With a heavy sigh, he plopped himself down onto the grassy hill and started his grand epic. A tale all about Trabia Garden, and why everyone called Riku 'The Gallant Dawnbreaker'. Kairielis listened intently to the whole thing, not even stopping to question when he would use some knight terminology she wasn't familiar with.
If she understood it all correctly, one remote village in the northern tip of Trabia Garden had one day inexplicably disappeared, leaving no signs it had ever existed. The villagers nearby on the other side of the mountains had assumed it was some curse, after having already investigated the whole area and hadn't found even the tiniest shred of clothing from their loved ones that lived there. They were set on having a night vigil of remembrance when Riku happened to stumble upon the situation while on an away mission. He explored the area and, just as they had claimed, the village had vanished completely. However, Riku also noticed that one of the overhanging mountains separating the two towns was significantly less snow-covered on one side and deduced the village hadn't disappeared, but had been submerged under several feet of snow from an avalanche. There had recently been a holiday, with loud fireworks, which may have been the trigger. Despite knowing where the village had gone, it seemed unlikely that anyone would still be alive. So the villagers left the matter alone. Riku, however, spent the entire day—alone and cold, digging deeper down into the snow to find the buried town. He never stopped, even when the temperatures sank into the dead of the night.
The surviving villagers, holed up, huddling together cold, yet still alive under all those feet of snow, apparently claimed that just as their hope had all but faded, a lone knight came bursting through the wall of snow, bringing with him the first beams of sun heralding the new morning. The first sunlight they had seen for days. And so they fondly called Riku their dawn breaker.
She wasn't sure why Riku didn't want her to know something that impressive. Either he was too embarrassed, or he really was that humble. It certainly wasn't information worth blackmailing his friend over.
"Thanks for telling me all that."
Sora gave a halfhearted shrug and flicked at a few spikes of his hair absentmindedly. "It's not like I really had a choice, did I?"
"If it makes you feel any better, because of my infinite generosity, I'll be sure to tell Riku you held your ground and didn't slip out a single crumb of information."
He laughed at this, and it lay unspoken between the two of them, but they both knew such a thing would be a futile effort. But while it would be fighting an uphill battle to tell a convincing lie, she was willing to give it her best shot. Just for his sake.
Unfortunately, she had no idea that Riku was already leaning up against the tree behind her, having approached quietly at some point during story time.
"And what happened to your desperate thirst, Your Highness?"
She shrieked, nearly tipping herself off of the swing.
"Riku!? When did you-"
Rather than answer her question, he silently extended a cold portable water pouch and glowered. She sheepishly reached out for it, knowing she deserved any scolding coming her way.
"Thank you..."
Sora was also looking quite sheepish himself, flicking a few blades of grass next to him, trying to look anywhere but his friend.
"And as for you..." Riku analyzed him thoughtfully, before tossing a separate pouch in his direction. "Make sure you stay hydrated too. It's hot out today."
Sora caught the water lobbed his way, stunned. "You're not mad?"
"Not particularly."
Heaving a huge sigh, Sora flopped backwards onto the grass and tilted his head up to his friend, grinning. "Great! For a minute there I thought you were going to tell her about-"
"By the way, Princess, just thought you'd like to know that Sora still sleeps with a stuffed purple dragon he's named Figment."
It seemed like even the cicadas had briefly paused, shocked.
Oh gosh… she would have never guessed that would be the blackmail Sora was hiding from. But judging from the speed at which he hurled the water pouch back over at Riku's head she could tell it was something he had clearly wanted to stay hidden.
"I can't believe you said it!"
"I did promise you I would, didn't I? Aren't promises important?" His mocking tone didn't go unnoticed.
Sora ruffled his hair with both hands in frustration. "Yeah, but it's not fair! She gets to learn something incredibly awesome about you and then when it's about me you tell her something so..."
Unable to take it any longer, Kairielis finally burst into a fit of giggles. "It's cute."
She saw him freeze, blinking, processing what she had just said. But something wasn't quite connecting.
"I have a little stuffed unicorn named Buttercup that will always be my go to snuggle buddy." She confessed, hoping to make him feel a little better.
But, judging by the further horrified embarrassment spreading across his features, her words had the opposite effect.
"It's not...I don't..."
Riku was amused, at least. "Well isn't that nice, now you two have something in common you can talk about instead of me."
The poor thing was really looking defeated now. She gave him a sympathetic smile, wishing she could also give him a comforting snuggle just like with her unicorn.
I bet he's a lot warmer than any stuffed animal. His hugs must be nice.
The thought so carelessly popped into her head that she nearly gasped, her eyes snapping open wide. If that thought had been an object, she would have gladly hurled it so far away from her it would have gotten lost somewhere among the sunflowers. But unfortunately for her, forbidden thoughts like that tended to hang around.
And worse, they often sifted other thoughts to the surface with them.
She fidgeted, unsettled in the swing, feeling something suddenly ominous drifting towards her, but tried her best to ignore it.
"W-well no matter what Riku says, I think it's very sweet. Is Figment something you've had since childhood?"
"Y-yeah, basically...but no matter how old I've gotten I decided that I can't just leave him behind."
And before she had realized it, something worse had indeed sifted itself to the surface of her memory. Bringing with it a tremor of fear, a fragment of something long buried filled her senses.
-"I can't just leave him behind! Please! Let me go!"
The sour smell of rust.
Her hands, still clenched around the thick rope of the swing, gripped it even harder, her nails starting to dig into her own palms. But she suddenly felt light, dizzy, disconnected from herself, like she was a spirit floating above a puppet. Only looking in. The rope was now cold, clammy, stiff like metal. Immovable metal. Metal that was trapping her, keeping her from reaching out.
Ice cold against her hands.
The sour smell of rust grew stronger.
The warmth of the sun was gone.
Voices getting closer.
Shouting, shouting, through the dark.
The gnashing teeth of the rats, haggard with crazed, twitching eyes.
"I can't...leave him behind..." Her voice echoed his words back monotonously, sounding distant even to her ears. Trembling, her eyes flickered up to his, but she was barely registering his face.
"Please...don't...go..."
"H-huh?"
Everything was spinning, the world around her blending into waves of a golden sunflower sea. An emotion she couldn't explain rattled her heart, freezing it in place.
Terror. Pure anxious terror. She thought she could see concern spread quickly across Sora's features for a brief moment before she couldn't see him any more. The sparkling light of the sun flickering through the boughs of the oak tree danced in circles in her vision.
Something smacked her hard in the back, and her vision fell black altogether.
"-on't touch he-"
"But she's—t!-et-go!"
"-an't-eep-calm-"
She could barely hear the hum of voices above her, and something cool, cold, and wet splashed against her face. Uneasily, she let her eyes sway open to see everything above her that was still a mass of shifting fuzzy objects. There were two vaguely person shaped lumps hovering near her, and she tentatively called out the names of her knights, hoping it was indeed them. When she foggily heard their confirmation she relaxed again, at least knowing they were there.
As her senses slowly shuffled back into action, spurred on by the light trickle of water raining down on her forehead, she was able to piece together what had happened. It must have been another one of those horrid day terrors. A waking nightmare like the ones that used to plague her nearly daily for years after Darkfall. She had thought she was long past such things, but clearly not. This one had been so bad she had fainted straight away, thumping her back hard against the dirt below the swing.
Feeling much clearer headed, she blinked up at the now distinct forms of her two knights peering down over her. She dizzily sat up and waved away the next attempt of theirs to pour more water over her face from those travel pouches Riku had brought with him earlier. Tentatively she began a rough examination of her body, just to check. Her ego seemed to be the most bruised bit of her, thank goodness.
Both Sora and Riku looked rattled, but not entirely confused. She assumed they already had her terror episodes explained to them, but it was probably still a shock to see. Besides, she hadn't had an episode that strongly in years. What could have brought it on?
"You're...okay, then? Do you need a doctor? More water?"
She saw Sora's fretful eyes examining her over and over again and she hastily adjusted her skirt, realizing how sloppy and unkempt she must look.
"Yes. No and no. In that order."
While Sora was doing his best to swallow his obvious concern, she noticed Riku was regarding her with a still, collected calmness, analyzing everything with his sharp, owl-like eyes.
"You aren't showing any outward signs of heat sickness. It must have been what they called a day terror, then?"
She nodded, embarrassed, trying to keep her face hidden from them.
"We were briefed about such things, but I never expected to see one arise so suddenly."
"Me either..." She huffed, through gritted teeth.
Why couldn't things like this just stop, already.
Despite Sora's hesitant protests for her to rest a little longer, she gripped the swing dangling in front of her to use as a ballast to stand.
"I'm fine. Really. Maybe a little headache, but that's it."
"Even if that's the case, I think it would be prudent for you to get out of the sun, at least." Riku gestured back to the nearest section of the castle. "The East Wing is close by."
He made a good point, but still…
That was the East Wing. That meant…
"I'm not sure if I should intrude there. It's...I mean..." It was sometimes hard to voice complaints that were more based on emotions rather than anything sound or reasonable.
Sora put a hand over his eyes so he could look out towards the part of the castle in question. "Intrude? On what?"
"It's more of a her."
"Well, whoever it is, I'm sure she would understand if we told her you were feeling sick!"
Of course Sora would say something like that. But Kairielis wasn't sure what the lonely girl in the East Wing would understand. If she understood anything.
Though maybe...maybe this time would be different?
She gave Sora a halfhearted nod.
"It's worth a try..."
They patiently waited with her while she regained her balance, and began shuffling over towards the castle. She really did feel a lot more sick than usual after a day terror. Like her legs were made of wet paper. Maybe because this one had hit rather suddenly. Maybe it was the heat. But she realized even if she hadn't wanted to see her cousin today she really didn't have much choice in this state.
As she slowly wobbled her way across the field, her eyes focused on the castle looming ominously ahead of her. Thankfully, neither Sora or Riku had a single complaint about the snail-like pace she was moving at.
"So, um...who is it that is in here anyway?" Sora finally got around to asking.
She was wondering when he would do that.
"My cousin. Namine." She hesitated. "But...there's something about her you should probably know first..."
Both of her knights still seemed too stunned for words, shifting their focus from one girl to the other. She wasn't surprised in the slightest. Nearly everyone had that same reaction the first time they saw the two cousins near one another. It was clear: they looked far more like sisters than cousins. Eerily so. It seemed the most likely reason was that Kairielis got the same features from her mother that Namine had gotten from her father.
The shape of their faces were nearly identical, and while Namine had a much more frail, sickly body, they could be easily indistinguishable with the right clothing and something covering their hair. Kairielis had always been jealous of her cousins long shimmering tresses, the same pale yellow color as afternoon sunlight. It was angelic, perfectly matching the deep ocean blue of her cousins' eyes. She remembered more than once sitting hours under the harsh rays of summer sun in a desperate attempt to bleach her hair the same hue. She wanted to look just as fair. No such luck, obviously.
Other than their similar appearance, they also almost shared a birthday, with Kairielis being exactly 3 days older. 72 hours only had decided that her cousin was summarily spared the curse of the light.
A mere 72 hours. Though that wasn't to say her cousin didn't have a curse of her own.
As a child she was sweet, maybe a little shy. But ever since that horrible time of darkness she never was the same. No longer spoke. Barely registered anyone's presence. Couldn't even walk. She was just...blank. Like her whole personality had been shredded, and she was the molted shell left behind.
She would sit in her wicker rolling chair in the East Wing for hours, silently staring, blinking. At least, only when she wasn't twisted over in spasms and screams, reliving events from the past that long haunted her. Like the same day terrors that used to fill Kairielis' mind, but worse.
It was painful to think of what horrible things that must be playing through her cousin's head to keep trapping her so, even after all this time. Kairielis wanted nothing more than to drive those inner demons of hers away, and get back the precious cousin she used to share so many memories with. Namine was her first friend. Her...only friend, really. But no one really knew what happened to her during Darkfall. She had been hidden away somewhere for her own safety, and when she was discovered again she was already changed, traumatized and broken.
But now, for whatever accursed reason Kairielis' mere presence was often a trigger for those deep buried fears in her cousin's mind, and often the sight of her face would send Namine spiraling back into some dark, sad place. Any visit longer than a few moments would turn that poor girl into a mess of writhing agony and tears.
So she stayed away. Avoided the East Wing, where her cousin often sat in the ivory room with the many bay windows adorned with long draping curtains, her eyes staring vacantly outside. Avoided looking at the twisted forms of the nightmares scratched out on the sheets of sketch paper that her cousin produced almost compulsively, as if she was trying to force the visions out of her head by pinning them down on paper.
She loved her cousin. So she stayed away.
Yet every now and again she hoped Namine would get better. That one day they could chat and play like they used to. Well, maybe doing more grown up things than stuffed animal tea parties or decorating all the stone columns in the castle with daisy chains.
She cast her eyes out across the room at her long lost friend.
At the moment, at least, Namine seemed to be tolerating her presence. Her cousin sat rigidly in the wicker chair, a stack of her precious sketches clutched on her lap with shaking fingers. In order to keep herself as unobtrusive as possible, Kairielis had taken a seat by one of the large windows in the corner, draping the long sheer curtain over her body as an extra precaution.
Her legs felt wobblier than a pudding being carried on a serving platter. It was good that she was able to sit down inside here briefly, out of the sun, but there was no telling how long Namine would be able to tolerate it. The moment she felt stronger she would politely excuse herself.
The faint metal clanking that was steadily approaching from behind the far door let her know that Namine's personal guard was returning back with the cold drinks she had rushed off to fetch. It was awkward enough having to confess what had happened in the sunflower field to her, but Beatrix, The May Rose, being ever prudent, knew not to pry for too many details. Beatrix also knew that extra cold water, with a hint of peppermint had always helped the princess feel better after such things, and had rushed off immediately for some.
There was a soft rap on the door, and Riku, realizing Beatrix would have had trouble opening it while balancing a tray stacked with a pitcher of mint water and several glasses, opened it up for her, greeting her in the process.
"General Beatrix." He tipped his head towards her.
"Former General. I'm her personal guard now, so there's no need for such formalities."
Beatrix smiled towards the tiny girl in the chair, and set the tray down at the table next to her. Doing his own part to help out, Sora started separating the glasses and filling them from the pitcher.
While Kairielis didn't know Beatrix too well herself, she knew that she had once been a decorated, well renowned General of the royal army. Nearly everyone knew her name and feared her sturdy but elegant strength. There had been so many rumors ranging from the outlandish to vindictively cruel about why she so suddenly renounced her position to watch over Namine instead, but no one really knew the true reason. Kairielis liked to believe it was out of compassion and whatever metrics with which Beatrix ruled her own personal sense of duty. She was also glad Namine had someone strong yet kind to watch over her.
Once the water was poured, one glass for everyone in the room, Sora walked one over to where Kairielis was waiting at the window. He outstretched the cup in he direction, but she could only stare at it. How was she supposed to take it when his hands were already wrapped around the whole thing like that?
"Um..."
Realizing his mistake, Sora stuttered out an apology and set the glass carefully down next to her on the sill. Meanwhile, Beatrix was attempting to offer one to the shivering girl with beautiful blond hair who was still pawing at the papers on her lap. Namine barely seemed to register it, so Beatrix tried coaxing it into her hands for her.
Sora tipped his head to the side, watching this with absolute curiosity.
"You can...touch her? Do you have special powers too, Beatrix?"
The most common misconception. She wasn't surprised that Sora assumed that because Namine was a princess as well that the same rules applied to the two of them. Beatrix gracefully set him straight.
"Namine does not carry the Ability. Such restrictions on touch apply to only one...Her Highness, by the window."
Still prudent, Beatrix knew fully well not to say Kairielis' name out loud. That was something else that very easily throttled Namine into a nightmarish fever dream.
"Oh...so it isn't a problem for me to talk to her?" Sora approached the table cautiously.
Beatrix lifted her heavy eyelashes and nodded, albeit hesitantly.
"Of course, but I wouldn't get your hopes up. She isn't particularly responsive."
From that smile on his face it was obvious he wasn't too bothered and probably hadn't even paid much attention to Beatrix' warning at all.
"She doesn't have to say anything. I just wanted to keep her company and try to cheer her up a little. Kai-er...I was told a little bit about the situation on the way over here."
Namine was still refusing to acknowledge the water, so her guard set it back down at the table with a resigned sigh then backed up, letting Sora approach the small wicker chair.
"Just mind the rules about names, please. And...try not to look too hard at the drawings. They can be a bit disturbing, to say the least."
Kairielis could see her cousin's back begin to shake lightly and she tensed, worried that a panic attack was incoming. But the shaking was followed by a light scuffling sound of pastels being scraped across paper, and she realized her cousin had resumed her drawings once more.
Still cautious, Sora glanced towards the pile of sketches. "Hey, Namine. We haven't met before, but I know..." He paused, trying to find a way to phrase what he wanted to say without using Kairielis' name. "A friend of yours. Maybe...we can be friends, too?"
Nothing but the sound of wax scratching against paper.
He tried giving her a carefree smile. "You really like drawing, huh! Mind if I look?"
Riku cleared his throat in warning, but Sora paid him no mind.
This time, rather than nothing, Namine blinked up at him from over her parchment, paused, then returned to her work. Taking that to be permission, Sora started looking over some of the sketches that had been already discarded all over the floor, around the legs of her chair.
Kairielis already knew what sorts of things were waiting for him. Gruesome, horrible things. Such macabre material would often draw in a curious eye, then subsequently repel it with feelings of disgust, shame or even anger. Sora seemed like a fairly innocent one, and she wasn't quite sure what sort of stomach he had on him. She figured he would end up needing to avert his eyes quite quickly, and may fall into the same set of emotions.
But Sora seemed to be experiencing none of that as he continued scanning the pictures in awe.
"Wow! These are really good!"
Beatrix nearly choked on her water. "Truly?"
"Well, yeah. I could never draw anything this good. You can really see a lot of detail."
"They aren't too morbid for you? You don't have to be afraid to be candid. They are all quite haunting scenes."
"They are a little scary, yeah..." He tipped his head to the side. "But it isn't really fair to dismiss them, because it's how she is expressing the reality she had to live through, right? Besides, they aren't all bad! See? That one is definitely a rainbow!"
He gestured to one of the drawings scattered near Beatrix' feet and she eyed it suspiciously.
"I suppose it is."
Sora smiled down over at the girl in the wicker chair, still drawing away as if she couldn't even hear the conversation about her art happening just next to her.
"Namine, I'm really glad that despite all the sad things you've seen that you still have some happy memories in there too."
Kairielis almost giggled at the baffled expression on the former General's face. Clearly Beatrix wasn't used to his particular brand of positivity.
"I hope you can draw more of those some day."
Shifting in her chair, Namine seemed to be putting the finishing touches on her latest drawing, but rather than just let it slip down to the floor like usual, she gripped it with both hands firmly and held it out in front of her. Sora tipped his head to get a better look at the picture held aloft on display for him.
His face erupted into delight and Kairielis now really wished she wasn't stuck back by the window so she could see it too.
"Is this...me?"
No response. Namine just kept the picture held aloft, silently.
Rather than let that dampen his spirits, Sora spun back around, gesturing at the drawing with an eager finger. "Riku, look! This person kinda looks like me, right?"
"...Maybe."
She figured that if Riku was giving a response as hesitant as that, the picture was probably pretty accurate. Which was...strange to say the least. As far as she new Namine had never drawn anyone specific before. Just faceless figures. Leaning a bit further out, she tried even harder to catch a single glimpse of the page.
Namine finally released it from her grasp, letting it flutter down to the floor so Kairielis reluctantly shelved all hope of being able to see it. Sora fumbled, trying to catch it before it landed on the ground, but the artist had already moved on to drawing something else, seemingly just as disinterested as before and paid no attention to him when he tried to hand it back to her.
"Um, Namine..." He set the drawing back down on the table and, tentatively, gently, rested a hand on the side of her shoulder. "Thanks for drawing me. Is it okay if I keep it?"
It was sweet the way he kept trying to talk to her, but her cousin didn't give a response. She never did. But something was unusual with this boy. It was obvious to anyone who met him. And maybe her cousin had seen that too. Namine's hand violently trembled, sending her pastel skittering to the floor.
"Ah! Sorry! Let me get that for you."
Sora bent down to scoop it up from off the tiles when both he, Riku and Beatrix froze in synchronized alarm. It was Beatix who managed to speak first.
"N-namine...did you just...?"
What? What just happened?
Kairielis hadn't noticed a single thing from where she was sitting. But now that she was paying much closer attention, her ears slightly pricked at a very light, barely discernible sound. She closed her eyes and strained.
Faintly, like the jingle of a bell, she could hear it.
Namine was speaking.
And not only that, but she was only repeating one thing. A name. His name.
Stunned, Kairielis almost jumped to her feet, but only managed to snag herself on the curtain when her knees wobbled underneath her, still not ready for her to stand. Namine talked so infrequently that it was only ever because of something important. And not only that, but she definitely couldn't remember Sora even telling her his name. How had she known?
Terrified that her cousin was about to fall into another one of her nightmares, she hastily opened her mouth to call out for Sora to move away from her. But only a small gasp could pass her lips before the remaining words froze instantly in her throat.
Because her cousin wasn't having a fit; far from it.
Namine had somehow managed to fling herself at the boy kneeling in front of her, wrapping her arms tight around him as she clung, as if desperate. All he had been doing was searching for a wayward crayon, and instead had found a girl wrapped in his arms.
Sora's face was pure panic as he flipped his attention rapidly between Kairielis, Riku, Beatrix, and the girl firmly nestled against his chest. She kept softly repeating his name, as if it held some special unwritten meaning to her.
What could possibly be going on? What would have prompted such a reaction? So many people had spent countless hours trying to break through to her, but all it needed apparently was one clumsy boy with an endearing smile. One silly yet sweet boy...
Kairielis gazed at the strange sight with an uneasy mix of emotions sloshing around her already uneasy stomach. Namine's face was so...content. At peace. Something that Kairielis had long since wished would come to her cousin. But for some reason she felt...far from happy.
And more than anything she had never been so starkly aware at how much a difference a mere 72 hours could make. Perhaps then she could have been the one who was...
Since when had this room gotten so stuffy? It must be the dust. She needed a fresh breeze. Now. Diverting her attention from the sobering display in front of her, she began to fiddle with the window latch.
It jiggled, but stayed put.
She inwardly groaned. One more check back at Namine confirmed she wasn't quite done with her snuggle time, so Kairielis promptly decided she must not have been trying hard enough and wrenched her whole body against the stupid, stupid, broken thing.
She didn't care if it drew attention to her. She just couldn't care right now.
The lock finally gave way with a snap. She hurled the window open in desperation, shoving her face greedily into the fresh breeze to drink in its comfortingly cool embrace.
Unfortunately the thoughts and fears circling her head refused to be blown away.
She was jealous. Over a stupid, stupid boy.
Instead of relief, all the wind brought with it was the scent of sunflowers, and the winging chirping of the cicadas. From their song, she once more heard their fervent assertions that they were happy, content to be only temporarily free in spite of their rapidly approaching end. Unperturbed by their unavailable clash with destiny. Glad they could find a love or a companion, even if they could only touch but one time before their deaths set them apart.
So it was all the more haunting, and her heart stuttered in fear.
I am NOT a cicada. She tried to comfort herself, wishing she could scream it out at the chorus outside.
Their cries continued unabated.
...am I?