"You, uh...wanted to see me?"
Sora stood awkwardly just outside the door to the guest suite, struggling to remember if there was supposed to be any sort of etiquette about entering the rooms of visiting aristocrats or not. From the slightly ajar door he could see a still-steaming kettle resting on a small tea table, surrounded by half touched hors d'eurvres.
He didn't particularly want to see this guy any more than he had to today- just watching someone doing his best all afternoon to flirt with Kairi made his stomach turn, but he couldn't exactly turn down the offer for no reason. Saying 'I flat out don't trust you' probably wouldn't go over too well.
There was still no answer from inside the room and he squished up his face in frustration. It wasn't that this Hans guy was...bad, exactly. After all, the thing he had brought to answer Kairi's request this morning had been, of all things, sincerity. While all the others had brought stuff like fancy jewelry, a pair of shoes, or desserts, with his hand on his heart, Hans had pledged to offer her complete honesty every day once he becomes her-
Sora shook his head furiously. He didn't even want to think about that.
Sure, proclaimed grandly in front of a crowd, Hans' answer was fine. Perfect for her, even. That was, if Hans was telling the truth. Because there was something about him that just felt...kind of insincere. Hans never really answered any questions she asked him, and was far too quick to agree with whatever she said, even when she was joking.
Ugh, that duke just didn't get her at all.
He worried though that maybe he was being a little unfair, and a little too judgmental. After all, he wasn't exactly unbiased about this situation. That, and it wasn't like there was really a decent alternative for her to choose. Between the suitors this morning, who else could she even pick? The stinky guy?
Regardless, Sora had already decided anyone who was going to claim themselves to be Kairi's fiance was going to get scrutinized to hell and back before he lent his approval, that was for sure. That was the main reason he had agreed to this weird request in the first place.
"We must speak one-on-one," Hans had said, "on matters of state."
Whatever that meant. But it would give him a chance to scope this guy out a bit more, and that was reason enough to agree.
Sora leaned a little into the door frame to check the room one more time, but still didn't see anyone.
"Hello? If you're not here maybe I'll just come back tomo-"
"Nonsense. Please, come in."
Sora searched out the source of the voice and met his gaze immediately. Hans was leaning back comfortably in one of the castle's many hand embroidered armchairs in the very back corner of the room, not looking in any particular rush to explain why he had suggested this meeting in the first place, or why he hadn't revealed himself sooner.
The both of them stared at each other for a moment, and all at once Sora felt like he was actually the one being judged. It was almost as if they were both playing a game of cards, and Hans was now seizing him up before lying down the first bet.
Well, if that was the way he was gonna be, Sora wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of feeling intimidating. He gave Hans a polite smile and strode right into the room.
"Sure thing!"
His cheerful call seemed to temporarily confuse the duke, who now sat up a bit more in his chair. Sora waited a moment then, after hearing nothing, decided to get things started himself.
"So, you said you had something to talk about? What is it?"
Hans gestured over towards the tea table, as if offering some, but Sora declined with a hasty hand wave. Who would want hot tea in the middle of summer? Maybe it was a Galbadia thing...
"Even if you don't want to drink, please sit. This won't be a simple matter to discuss."
Sora inwardly hoped that this wouldn't take too long; he wanted to at least see Kairi once more today. It was hard not to be a little jealous that Riku was getting to spend some time alone with her right now in the orchard. So not fair...
Shrugging, he plopped himself down into one of the stiff wooden table chairs and waited, bouncing his knee idly until Hans spoke.
"You are her personal guard, correct?"
Sora responded with a quick nod.
"And would you say you understand her well enough to answer a question or two about her?"
"Uh...I'll try."
"Then I must warn you, this matter will be both simple, yet complex."
Well that wasn't confusing at all. Sora tried not to give away his bafflement at the contradiction and just kept listening.
"Tell me, what is it that is troubling her? We spent the entire afternoon getting to know one another, yet no matter how many times I tried to ask she still refused to set a date for our Light Bonding. Does she find me that horrible?"
At the end of the day Sora knew he wasn't the most knowledgeable person when it came to girls, but even he thought it was pretty obvious what was going on with Kairi. Surely Hans couldn't actually be that clueless about it?
"Of course she doesn't think you're horrible. It doesn't have anything to do with you...she just isn't ready yet. Maybe give it more than a day to-"
"I see." The duke cut him off and abruptly stood up from the chair. He paced over towards one of the tall bookshelves, thankfully taking his judging gaze elsewhere for a while. "If that is the case, I have one more matter to discuss, if that is alright?"
Sora nodded, but realized that because now Hans was facing the books he couldn't see his answer, so he hastily added a "yeah" for good measure.
But Hans fell silent again, as if mulling over the proper phrasing.
"Kairielis is...a very headstrong girl. I was told she takes after her mother. Be this good or ill I haven't yet decided. And while she is very loving, there is still a great wall around her heart that she guards closely. She refuses to let many in. Despite this, somehow she has opened those doors to you. I can see she trusts you, and highly values your opinion."
"Really!?" The words slipped out of his mouth before he could hold it back, probably sounding far more happy at such a notion than he was supposed to be. He clamped his mouth shut again, inwardly wincing for letting his emotions take over.
Thankfully, Hans didn't comment.
"My opinion is not unfounded. This morning, I told her I would bring her sincerity, as my wedding gift to her. I know how valuable sincerity can be. I know what it is like in aristocratic circles, and sincerity is very hard to come by. No one is ever as they seem. They all are scheming, plotting, selfish..."
Maybe it was naive of him to think so, but Sora couldn't help but feel that this was a tad of an exaggeration and he wasn't shy about piping up, humming slightly in protest. Hans chose to ignore him again.
"Every one of us is out to get something. We have dreams, fueled by our own selfish desires. I'm sure there is something even you desire as well? Something you cannot have?"
Sora swallowed heavily as he heard Hans turn back around to face him. It was a painful struggle not to betray any hint of the thoughts dancing around his head. He did his best to stiffen both his back and his expression.
Nope, nope, nope. Don't think about Kairi. Don't think about her...
It was hopeless. She occupied every corner of his mind in some way. Her smile, that light floral scent that followed her room to room...
But he needed to say something to fill in the ever more awkward growing silence.
"I'm, uh...not sure if having dreams is selfish, though. Calling it selfish makes it sound like it's a bad thing to look forward to your future."
Hans smiled at him, but it was twinged with something far more menacing, and Sora felt his skin prickling just looking at it.
"Indeed. Dreams are wonderful. And true honesty is a blessing. Now, my point is that when I asked her highness if she had anyone in her life already who she felt she could trust, I couldn't help but notice her eyes linger on you before she answered."
Sora managed to choke down his exclamation this time, but couldn't stop the smile on his face. He forced himself to look down at his shoes, just to try and hide it a little. Also, it was nice to not have to look into that slightly unnerving smile hovering in front of the bookshelf any longer.
"Naturally she tried to deny it. Because, as I understood it, you knights are not meant to be anything more than just living swords and shields to her. Let alone a figure of trust and confidence. Now, your name was..."
The small kettle on the table was still steaming, and it was actually radiating quite a bit of extra uncomfortable heat. He wished he could go sit somewhere else.
"...Sora."
"Yes, well then, Sora...I find myself in need of assistance. I need to find someone she trusts and beseech them for aid, be they noble or not. Or even without a title. And it is a...sensitive topic. Would you be able to help me?"
The first bet of their unspoken card game had just been laid down on the table. Hans needed to find someone close to Kairi for whatever reason. As a princess who typically wasn't meant to have any friends, that would seem at first to be a pretty difficult task, if not an impossible one. But Hans suspected, correctly of course, that maybe things were not quite as typical between them.
Sora wasn't sure what to do. If he accepted the offer to listen to the request, he would basically be admitting that Kairi was breaking a few rules in putting her trust in him. But if he didn't, the conversation would likely end and he wouldn't be able to figure out exactly what it was Hans was up to. There was something suspicious about this whole thing, but Sora didn't really have a shred of proof beyond some shadowy glances and questionable word choice.
Now, before Hans was willing to reveal his hand, he was asking Sora to enter the betting pool. To put something of his own at risk in order to learn something new. There was some incredibly complicated mental game at work here, but Sora really wasn't cut out for poker. He had long since stopped even participating with the others after pretty much the entire barracks figured out he told lies just about as good as a fish could climb trees.
What would Riku do at a time like this? Right! Be vague! Agree without agreeing! Then he could always take it back if he needed to. If he could pull that off, it would be fantastic.
...If.
"What, uh...what do you need help with?"
Great! That wasn't admitting anything, and was pushing the question back on Hans to feed him some more information. He was kind of proud of himself. However, when he saw the duke his pride melted like an abandoned ice cream cone.
Hans had a vaguely amused smile, as if Sora had just uttered a weak joke. And that honestly made Sora kinda grumpy. So much for being secretly crafty.
The Duke crossed his arms. "...Are you saying that you are in a position to help me, then? I'd like confirmation before I waste both our valuable time."
Great, one question substituted for another. And a yes or no one, too. How was he supposed to be vague when answering that? The air in the room had gotten quite heavy and stale now too, so he really wanted to go yank open one of the windows. He inwardly chuckled to himself, wondering if maybe he should open it just in case he needed to go call for help.
Ugh, he really didn't want to get Kairi in trouble. But he couldn't think of anything else to say.
"I...I dunno. Maybe you should just tell me what the favor is first?"
A brief silence passed between the two of them, the only sound coming from the light fluttering of the curtains against the window.
"As a knight, you serve the kingdom, correct?"
"...Yeah." This wasn't a trick question, right? It didn't seem like it.
"Then surely you understand that it would be for the good of the kingdom for her bonding ceremony with me to be completed in a timely manner?"
Never. No way. It felt like a hot stone had just dropped itself down into his stomach, and Sora tried incredibly hard not to imagine this duke and his twisted smile being anywhere near Kairi. Even the thought of that guy's fingers brushing through her hair was too much to bear. He took a moment to steady his breath, considering how to offer yet another indifferent answer. But it was getting harder and harder not to let his feelings leak through.
"That's...what everyone says."
"I ask again, would you agree?" Hans wasn't going to let him off easily.
Once more Sora felt trapped. His head was starting to hurt, and he had no idea how to craftily sneak his way around this question. Maybe there was no way around it.
"I just...want what's best for her."
Unfortunately, that seemed to be the answer Hans was waiting for and he once more let a sneer spread across his face.
"Then you are the perfect person to help me."
Sora really didn't like the confident way the duke had said that, and clamped his mouth shamefully shut so he wouldn't say anything else he regretted.
"My quandary is this, Sora. As a figure that she can trust, if you were to suggest something I am sure she would listen. And, as you can see the value in expediting the Light ceremony, I'm sure you can also see reason in...urging her to move forward with it."
"W-what?" The painful rock in his stomach dissolved into pure, weightless horror.
"Simply: I need you to convince her to settle on a wedding date as soon as possible."
But once the question had clearly announced its presence, Sora didn't even need another second to know how to answer it. He felt like he could light a fire with the sparks snapping at the corners of his vision that was slowly tunneling towards the smarmy weasel in front of him.
"No."
"...No?" Hans actually looked slightly surprised at his refusal, which for some reason only made Sora even more upset about the whole thing.
"No! I'm not forcing her to do anything."
"I...understand, but please don't see it as forcing her. Sometimes women don't know what's best for them. I just want you to give her some compliments about me, loosen up any resistances she has."
"What's best for-loosen up...are you serious!?"
Ugh, could you get any more slimy!? Sora struggled to keep himself from doing something he would regret. How problematic would it be to start a fight with a duke? Probably pretty bad.
"You just have to tell her some positives about my character. Maybe emphasize what a good king I will be. She's very emotional though, isn't she? So maybe make sure to throw in some reflections on how kind and generous I am for good measure."
"So manipulating her, then? I won't do it. I won't lie to her. I'll tell her the truth that you're trying to trick her, though." He made sure to focus his indignation straight into that irritating, punch-able face. "Because I'm sincere. There's no way she will want to marry a creep like you once she finds out."
Hans didn't take kindly to the insult, and curled his nose up like he had just smelled something pungent. "I see. You tell her and then what? She has already signed the engagement papers. Her father's seal has long dried. No matter how much she moans and screams she can't change her mind now. We are already as good as married already. If you say a disparaging word about me what will that accomplish? Perhaps it will only make her miserable. Surely she would want a life in ignorance, rather than thinking I'm a…'creep' as you so elegantly phrased it."
Sora couldn't ignore the absolute smug disdain on Hans' lips while he was reciting that drawling nonsense. "What makes you think you know what she wants? You've barely even tried trying to get to know her at all!"
"What would be the point in that?"
Sora gawked at him, barely able to comprehend what he had just heard. "T-the point…?"
"All that matters to her kingdom is producing a viable heir. And all that matters to me is finally receiving what is due. I have put so much work already to get the crown that I'm starting to lose patience for this nonsense. I'm pursuing my dream. Looking to my future. The future of the kingdom!"
Hans slammed his fist heavily into the tea table, rattling it and tipping one of the fine china tea cups on its side. Luckily it was empty.
"You wouldn't believe the gauntlet I had to run through to even become the representative of Galbadia. I had to sabotage every single one of my brothers to fall out of favor with our father. That takes time. Effort. Then I find out the rules were changed last minute and now the victor wasn't up to Committee vote! Now I had to pass some ridiculous task and play all nice to get chosen by her hand personally..."
He smacked the table again. The serving platter lined with various cakes wobbled, and a few bite sized desserts splatted on the carpet.
"But I bit my tongue, played my part, and did the song and dance she requested. Thankfully the rest of those suitors were all jokes. But I've waited long enough! I'm done with the games!"
He sucked in a hefty gulp of air, and smoothed down a few locks of hair that had come loose during his eruption. Calmer now, he continued. "Her happiness isn't exactly a priority for the kingdom, so it isn't a priority for me. Wouldn't you agree that this is indeed correct? As an impartial knight, serving the crown?"
Unable to stand it any longer, Sora jumped out of his chair, the legs shrieking as they skidded backwards across the wooden floor.
"Not a priority!? How could anyone ever think that? Kairi is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. What is a stupid crown compared to someone like her!? Her smile is reason enough to make me thankful every day for every second I can spend with her. She deserves to be happy all the time, not just when it's convenient for the kingdom!"
Sora's fists were clenched so hard they hurt, and he only just realized that half or maybe even all of what he had just been thinking he had just announced, screaming, into the room. He wasn't supposed to say that. Not a single word of it.
His heart sank as he heard Hans laugh.
"So much for impartiality, I see. This makes things even easier for me now."
And so much for keeping his poker hand secret. Sora had just full on dumped every single card face up on the table, leaving no secret barred.
Hans lazily reached over to fix the unsettled tea cup from earlier. "And you're wrong. She's as two-dimensional as they come."
His fingers lifted up a small cookie that had fallen down onto the table cloth and examined it, amused. "She's pure sugar sweet with absolutely no substance. A goody-goody princess if I ever saw one."
The cookie practically disintegrated between his pinched fingers and he flicked the lingering crumbs at Sora's infuriated face.
"Take that back! You are seriously underestimating her if you think that just because she is a princess, that defines who she is! You...you should be ashamed of lying to her! Didn't you promise sincerity!?"
"I did. But unlike some people I have tact and poise about what I choose to reveal. I personally don't consider it a problem to...withhold certain information, so long as what you do say is truthful."
Sora just growled at him, wanting nothing more than to hurl one of the discarded biscuits that had fallen on the floor right at his stupid big chin. "You dirty snake! That isn't—that isn't..." His threats fell on deaf ears, as Hans kept snickering. "Why are you still laughing!? Do you think this is just some joke!?"
"I was just wondering that myself. It's so cliché it's nearly unbelievable." Any trace of amusement faded, and Hans' face was now deathly serious. He folded his arms across his chest and glared. The tension between the two of them was thicker than the frosting of the little cakes, upside down, smudging the carpet.
"...You're in love with her, aren't you?"
There was no reason to deny it now. Sora wasn't even sure if he could find it in his heart to try and lie about it anyway, so he nearly spat the rest of his answer out at the pathetic excuse of a man in front of him. ""So what!? At least I see her as more than just a prize."
"To your misfortune. Because no matter how much you pine for her, nothing will ever come of it."
Perhaps Hans liked to think of himself as some crafty fox, twisting his way into power because of all sorts of back-stabbing machinations. Or maybe he considered himself a viper, biting at the ankles of his enemies and watching the poison slowly take them. But Sora could only look at him and think how sad and lonely his existence must be, that he felt the need to trample every single person who crossed his path. That he was so blinded by greed he couldn't even see Kairi as anything more than a title. And even as Hans continued threatening him, Sora seethed with not only frustration, but also, strangely, sorrow that this was how things had turned out.
"You will be like a pathetic dog begging for scraps off my table. Because if you want her, you'll have to earn the privilege. You will convince her to move the ceremony ahead in a timely schedule. Sweet talk her into it. Do a good job about it and maybe I'll arrange for you to be her personal knight if that's what you want."
"...and if I still refuse?"
"If you refuse, I will personally make sure that you are exposed for your...pitiful feelings. You'll never see her again. That I can assure you. Neither sounds pleasant, but I'm sure scraps are better than nothing. It's more than someone in your position deserves."
Sora felt a crushing wave of hopelessness for a moment as he realized he was backed into a corner. No, he wasn't too bothered by what Hans was threatening him with, because the threats meant nothing; there was no way Sora was even entertaining the idea of not telling Kairi. Instead, his hopelessness stemmed from the realization that the secret he had long kept guarded was maybe the only path that could lead away from the dark future looming over them. He had to tell her. Otherwise there was no way out.
But this secret was going to rip the ground out from underneath Kairi's feet. It was going to shake the foundation that her whole life had been built up around. Part of him had hoped she would just remember on her own...
It was going to be painful. And the last thing he wanted to do was cause her pain. But maybe it was a better alternative than being stuck chained to this smarmy duke her whole life.
The same smarmy duke that was now sneering down at him with a frustratingly triumphant glare.
"It isn't wise to stand against your next king, boy."
Sora couldn't wait for Kairi to wipe that smug look off that guys' face with a feisty zinger or two tomorrow when she met him for tea. Narrowing his eyes, he made sure every speck of his disdain was visible in his expression. Then, he stiffly turned and marched straight towards the door, hurling it open with his whole body.
He only stopped briefly to yell back into the depths of the guest suite.
"You are never going to be king."
Hans' sea green eyes furrowed as they watched the knight disappear down the hallway. For some reason he had the distinct feeling that this boy was hiding a very dangerous, yet very powerful card up his sleeve. And this concerned him. Maybe the boy had a better poker face than he had thought.
Even didn't look up from the bubbling contents of his beaker, even though he had registered the creaking sound of the laboratory door giving way to an incoming visitor. Whoever had entered approached the table. The careful sound of their footsteps, able to navigate around the exact spots on the floorboards that squeaked, belied their familiarity with the room. No doubt it was a fellow researcher of some sort.
The bubbles in the beaker fizzled, popped and went out.
Sighing, Even finally turned to address whoever it was.
"Ah. Ienzo. Were my reports on the artificial rain not to your specifications?
"They were."
He huffed, swirling the contents of the glass around and gave it a few hearty flicks with his finger, but it remained inert. "Good. You know I don't have time for any of that bookkeeping nonsense."
"I am here for something else, but it needs your discretion."
"I'm listening..."
The records keeper behind him circled the long way around the laboratory table until he was standing opposite the current experiment. The curled looping tubes twisting between bottles hiding him slightly from view.
"Does the name Ellone sound familiar?"
Even nearly dropped the beaker. Shakily, he returned it to the stand and leaned across the table. "The project involving that...witch was meant to stay secret. It is foolhardy to pry into it further."
"So Ellone is a person then?"
Silence, accompanied by the frothing sound of various bubbling chemicals in the room, answered Ienzo's question. Because Even, gawking at the researcher with bulging, slightly twitchy eyes didn't seem collected enough to confirm anything himself.
"I'd consider volunteering a bit more information than that, Even. I can easily make funding your future projects a difficult endeavor."
His eyes bulged even more. "No need to threaten my work! I don't consider myself beholden to their ridiculous bureaucratic rules. So long as you understand the risk you're putting yourself into, I'll tell you whatever gets you out of this laboratory the fastest."
Ienzo folded harm arms across his chest, proving that for once he wasn't going to be taking notes on whatever the two of them would be discussing for the next while.
A small mouse scurried across the laboratory floor, checking for scraps or anything left lying around that would make a tasty munch-munch. But he should have known better, the kitchen was far better for those things. His little paws pattered on the clean stone as his nose twitched first left, then right, and he caught the scent of two crumb-droppers talking over a table only a short distance away.
The mouse wasn't interested in conversation. It wasn't interested in the garbled words spoken in hushed tones. Because the mouse had no idea what important royal secrets were being divulged in front of him in that damp laboratory that smelled slightly of sour milk.
"-she's being kept alive down there even now. Who knows if it will be necessary to use her powers again."
If the mouse could huff, it would have.
Not a single crumb!
"I should have seen something like this coming." Kairielis tried to hide the trembling of her hands by shoving them into her lap. "I knew he was hiding something, I just didn't realize it was that...despicable."
While it had come as a slight surprise, she wasn't altogether shocked. What had surprised her more was Sora suddenly darting up to her and Riku in the garden, winded, rattling off all sorts of things faster than was even intelligible. Riku had even jumped a little, ever so briefly tipping his hand towards his sword before realizing who it was and catching himself.
Once Sora had been calmed down enough to explain properly, his panic was understandable. She had been wondering if Hans would meet Sora's approval and now she had her answer. An absolute definitive, scream-it-into-the-air, thundering louder than thunder, 'no'.
From what Sora gathered from their meeting, the suitor she had chosen was a selfish, greedy, manipulative schemer who was more interested in a heavy chunk of metal for his head than anything to do with her. Sora seemed so determined to inform her of this, his face so genuinely empathetic and worried for her sake, that she felt far too guilty to confess she had already assumed Hans was a bit shady.
Sora hung his head contritely, as if he had anything to do with the situation.
"I'm...really sorry."
"Don't worry, I'm not ridiculous enough to shoot the messenger. I'm glad you told me."
Opting to sit down on the slightly mossy stone bench under the large oak tree, she gave the space next to her a little tap, urging Sora to join her. No, she wasn't supposed to do it but she didn't care. And Riku was looking far too enraged at the situation to protest, like he wanted nothing more than to be allowed into his own 'private meeting' with the duke.
Sora dropped himself down, after slight hesitation. It seemed like there were quite a number of thoughts tumbling around in that mysterious head of his, and he wasn't sure which to mention first.
"I...don't want you to have to live a lie anymore. I think...I think you deserve to know the truth about everything."
She noticed Riku's expression suddenly shift into one more of alarm than anger and she wondered if maybe there was something he had picked up on from Sora's words that she had missed. He marched over and yanked Sora up to his feet, dragging him a few steps away by the arm.
"Sorry, borrowing him for a moment."
The princess had no idea what her two knights were discussing in hushed tones with one another over by the rose bush, but by the way they kept glancing over in her direction it wasn't hard to guess the subject material. Both of them were passionately pushing whatever side of the debate they were on, and she wasn't clear who was winning. After a while, her two knights came back over to the bench, looking a tad flustered with each other but the matter seemed settled nonetheless.
Riku gave Sora a pointed look then briefly nodded his head to her. "I'm going to head back a bit early. If the duke is really that conniving, I want to try and get a few steps ahead so he can't muddle things up any further."
"Oh...are you sure?"
It made sense for him to go, but she was a little disappointed the three of them couldn't sit and talk for just a little bit longer together. She also didn't like the idea of the two of them having an argument and not patching things up first.
"The muddier the truth becomes, the more difficult it is to set things straight. Because sometimes the truth is more difficult to accept than a finely crafted lie."
There was something poignantly sorrowful in his eyes, but she nodded in understanding. This seemed to satisfy him enough, and he turned to leave, but not without mumbling something else into Sora's ear.
"Yeah...I know." Sora still looked quite somber and distracted by his own thoughts, which was also concerning.
She hoped the point of their contention wasn't too difficult to resolve.
And as she watched Riku disappear through the arched gate, she wondered why such a haunting fear was now hovering behind her like a phantom. She glanced over her shoulder, hoping to dissipate the feeling creeping up on her. The air had only grown more humid and it felt like every breath she took was laden with moisture penetrating her lungs and weighing them down.
As ominous as an approaching thunderstorm could be, at least it would bring rain. And wasn't it always meant to be the darkest just before the light could burst in to reclaim the sky? The storm would always rage at its worst before you could possibly hope to see a hopeful streak of color dancing above your head.
Or so they said.
She patted the stone bench next to her again, hoping Sora would once more join her.
"I hope that Hans didn't give you too hard of a time. If he did let me know, I'll make sure to tell the cooks to slip something spicy in his eggs tomorrow morning."
Sora chuckled a bit at this, at least, but he still looked somewhat more damp than usual as if the thunderstorm had already soaked him to the bone. He started nervously playing with the straps on his gloves. While part of the full uniform for all guards, those gloves were only really required for those who would be near her. She realized, somewhat wistfully, that she had never actually seen his bare hands before. And probably she never would.
"It wasn't...so bad."
His hesitation was adorable. Despite the somewhat somber atmosphere, she wanted nothing more than to bop him on the head for being silly.
Running a few fingers through her now loose and free hair, she continued to wait for him to arrange the ideas tumbling in his head. Meanwhile feeling glad she had been able to finally take down all those braids and curls. And the crown too, that thing was far heavier than it really needed to be.
She would easily chuck it over to Hans to keep if she knew that would send him skipping back home and out of her life. It was one thing to deal with a selfish fiance on her own, but the fact that Sora now seemed getting emotionally bogged down by it was troubling to say the least. If only things could go back to the way they were before: peaceful and quiet.
"Sora, um...you and Riku weren't fighting, were you?"
He smiled weakly into his lap and sighed. "No...it's nothing like that."
"But you were at least disagreeing about something."
He didn't answer this time. While this essentially confirmed her suspicions, she wasn't much closer to discover the actual problem. She had a suspicion that Riku was trying to offer advice that Sora wasn't heeding.
She squished up her face at him playfully. "You're moping worse than me."
It had been a while since she saw the slightest sliver of that smile of his. She had missed it.
"Sorry about that." He took a deep breath and stretched the cheesiest, beaming grin he could muster across his face. "How's this?"
Laughter had never felt so freeing and wonderful. Now she definitely wanted to give him that head bop.
He gave a big stretch and let his face fall into a more natural position, temporarily dropping his hands to rest on the top of his spiky untamed mess of hair. It was nice to see his usual carefree and happy self had come to visit again.
"So, uh...here's the thing..."
"Yes?"
"Well...it's a bit..." He ultimately couldn't settle on an adjective he liked best and shook his head, skipping over the thought entirely. "Back when I got chosen to be your guard, I was honestly really happy. I knew I needed to keep you safe but...I also hoped I could make your days cheerful and fun."
He leaned back on the bench, using his arms to hold up his weight as he prodded at a long blade of grass with the tip of his boot. "Once I knew you had to get married I thought...er, I was hoping that at least one of those guys would also care about you. Not the title, not the status. Just...someone who wanted to make you happy too."
How was he always so impossibly sweet? Though maybe just wishing her to have a fiance care about her wasn't such a ridiculous desire. It was almost the bare minimum. She briefly considered the situation with Hans and felt bitter. Why was this day so awful? And Sora was right. If only there had been at least one decent option. Just one!
She saw his face out of the corner of her eye. Her chin trembled.
There was one. But he was infuriatingly off limits.
Sora must have seen through her false show of poise and he scrambled to try and find a handkerchief in case the tears started coming again. Gods, she really must be a mess today if he had thought to keep one ready like that. He gingerly offered it over, taking extra care to pinch it only at the far corner with his fingers so she could grab it easily.
"I'm sorry. Today has been...not the best."
"Don't worry about it."
The pattern on his handkerchief was surprisingly cute, embroidered with what looked like small representations of characters from a children's play. Well, maybe with him such a thing should not be so surprising at all. She almost wanted to change the subject and discuss the funny little baby monsters around the edges of the cloth, wondering where he got it from, but she knew there was still something important he had left unsaid.
"So...um...if there's anything else, please don't worry about telling me."
Rather than answer her directly, he shifted a bit on the stone bench, as if somehow the rock a few centimeters to the right was any more comfortable.
"Yeah...see, I thought it would only make you sad to know the truth, but after everything today I think it's maybe better for me to confess everything. All the things that I should have told you sooner. Riku said it was a bad idea, but...it's too important."
Confess…?
She tried not to let herself get too flushed at the thought. Or too hopeful. He didn't necessarily mean anything romantic, but that didn't stop her heart from kicking up into an excited dance. There were far too many things swirling in her head now. Why would him confessing make her sad? What had he been holding back from telling her? Was it something more serious than his deep dark secret of a cuddly stuffed dragon?
She tried speaking, but ended up starting and restarting herself so many times she couldn't even phrase a single sentence. Instead, she only questioned his name softly, letting the rosy tinge on her cheeks speak the volumes she couldn't manage.
And it seemed she had sucked the words right out of him. He stammered for a moment, thrown off his canter, and had to pause to regain his thoughts. But he pressed onward, clearly resolved to say his piece.
"First, about that Hans guy...honestly, he's not right for you. He's just not. Like I said, I wanted you to find someone who cares about you properly. And I know you already signed the papers, and I know it's your fathers' orders, but I won't let them make you give your heart to someone like that. That guy...he doesn't care about your feelings at all. He doesn't love you like he shou-"
"-like you do?"
She greedily pounced on the opportunity, not wanting to wait another second, breath baited, for his confession. Sora's entire face flushed with color as he gawked, shocked. In the dimming light of dusk, quiet and tranquil, he had every opportunity to deny it.
But he didn't deny a thing.
It wasn't long before he started to smile again, and laughed with carefree abandon towards the sky. Such a wonderful sound.
"I really am horrible at keeping secrets, huh? Maybe...it's wrong for someone like me to care about your future, but I just can't help it."
While the Duke of Galbadia had trumpeted sincerity, it was all just for show. If she ever needed to know the real meaning of the word, all she had to do was look into the deep blue eyes of the one sitting right next to her now. Eyes as endless as the summer sky.
He clenched his fingers around the edge of the stone bench. "Ever since I first met you, I dunno what it is but I felt like it was more than chance that brought us together."
Warm giddy bubbles filled every corner of what was once hollow inside of her. Nothing else in the garden mattered right now. She didn't care if anyone saw her, beaming back at him with nothing but adoration in her eyes. Everything inside of her wanted to scream out her feelings and it took every ounce of grace and control she had to resist.
When she finally managed to speak it was, shaky, slightly breathless.
"I'm...still a little embarrassed you first saw me trying to put out that fire like a complete idiot..."
He tried choking back another laugh, but it didn't work. And while that memory was still something she didn't really like her thoughts dwelling on, if it made him smile, even just once, then maybe it wasn't so bad.
"You know, before I walked in that door I was super nervous...and maybe it's a bit mean to say, but the minute I saw you like that it was actually a pretty big relief."
She rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Why? Because then you knew there was no way you could make a mistake any worse if you tried?"
"No! No, nothing like that..." He waved his hands in front of him in panic, trying to back track. His rush to do so almost tipped him backwards off the bench and he teetered clumsily for a moment to regain his balance. Sora was the only person she had ever seen trip himself while sitting down. And now that she thought about it, this wasn't the first time he had done it, either.
"It's...hard to say why I felt that way. Partly because I figured maybe you wouldn't be too strict on the rules, but also, I guess I was happy because despite all the hard things you've had to go through, you were still really...spirited. You didn't let the hard times win."
"'Spirited' is a nice way to put 'clumsy', isn't it? You don't have to sugar coat it, I'm a big girl." She gave him a playful huff, a mock haughty expression on her face. "Go on, admit it."
He hummed a little to himself, as if considering only in jest. "...Are you sure?"
Alright that did it, she was going to give him the most hoity-toity expression she could manage! She stuck up her nose a little higher. "I demand the truth and I'll not take anything less. What was it you really thought about my spirit, hmm?"
And Sora's smile had never looked brighter.
"Your spirit is what I love most about you."
Time froze.
"L-lo...y-you..." Every semblance of pride crumbled from her face and she felt her heart thump wildly in her chest. Each beat filling her with dizzy, burning heat. "W-what are you...saying?"
He tipped his head to the side, playing with his gloves again with a suppressed grin on his lips, suddenly looking like a huge weight had been lifted off of him. "Something I probably shouldn't. But I can't help it."
She couldn't help it either. Her head was throbbing like she had the most wonderfully pleasant headache imaginable. Kairielis lifted her chin, proudly revealing to him exactly what his words had done to her heart. Her cheeks were flushed, burning red. Her eyes wide and full of yearning. She was done with being coy. Done with hushed thoughts whispered only in her dreams as fragile and elusive as a drifting soap bubble.
She felt so dizzy. Warm. Her whole body tingled like even the tiniest part of her was dancing towards the inevitable. It was getting to her. She didn't want to fight it. Her body began drifting slowly, ever closer towards him.
"The two of us...have a big problem, don't we, Sora?"
The current pulling them together was rapidly picking up momentum. In the time it had taken her to gently sigh his name, they nearly collided. Whatever barriers that Sora might have put up to prevent himself from breaking that one, ultimate taboo, were crumbling to dust. He struggled, visibly, as if he wanted nothing more than to finally feel the warmth of her skin.
She also wanted nothing more than that. But the lingering threat of the consequences prevented them from crossing that final impenetrable barrier.
"Because...maybe...just maybe...I also..."
Facing together on the stone bench they lingered, their breathing close enough to collide and embrace in the air. Miming what they both fervently desired. She thought every forbidden thing, as hungrily desperate as a starving soul who had found an oasis of water in the desert. She hoped that somehow he could look into the depths of her eyes and hear her.
If she had been any other girl in the world she would have already flung herself forward, nuzzling so intensely into him it would have likely sent them both tumbling off the bench into the soft grass. She wanted to feel his arms envelop her, his hands clutching her shoulders, her arms, and anywhere he could cling as they snuggled as close as they possibly could. She wouldn't care one bit if they got covered in dirt, or if she got grass stains on her dress. She wanted to pin him down and kiss him so hard he wouldn't be able to say anything coherent for hours.
If only they could remain in that tender moment for longer. But as her body yearned to reach for him, she was only all the more reminded of the cost.
This was wrong. It felt so right but it was wrong.
Clatter-clack.
Somewhere in the garden, a bird had taken off flying from a branch, bouncing it enough to strike a nearby window.
The sound broke the spell between them. She dabbed at her eyes to catch the growing swell of tears before they fell, appreciating the soft touch of his adorably childish handkerchief. She gazed at the embroidery, at her trembling hands, anything but the face she pined to see, lest she get pulled back in and do something she would regret.
"Sora...I really am happy, just knowing how you feel. But...we've discussed this before. I know Hans may not be perfect, and like you said, he might be all wrong for me but I don't really have a choice. I won't be the first person in history to have a purely political marriage so even if he doesn't care about me, it's what I have to do."
Sora slammed a fist down onto his thigh and stood up, circling around to just in front of her, kneeling so she couldn't hide any longer from his eyes, sparkling and resolute.
"No. No you don't. I refuse to just sit and watch you continue to be endlessly lonely and miserable. Not if there's something I can do to help you."
"Help me?" Her tense fingers clenched his handkerchief even harder. So much so it was almost painful. "I already told you, even if you offer me a way out I can't-"
"Do you trust me?"
It was such a simple question. Simple, but loaded with so much meaning it was incredibly difficult to answer. The answer itself wasn't difficult, it was answering that was the problem. After a moment of struggle, she managed to nod.
He was focused directly on her. And only her.
"This is...this is going to sound crazy, okay? But I need you to listen and trust me...it's about time I told you all of this."