Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. All rights go to the actors, writers and creators of the show "When Calls The Heart".

To all the readers: Thank you so much for all of your comments! I love reading them. We just hit over 100 so keep them coming!

(25/07/2018)

CHAPTER 11

The next day passed in a blur. Elizabeth helped Jack to get ready in his dress uniform. He couldn't remember where the medals and service ribbons went so she fixed that for him. He stood there straight, while she pinned them on and made sure they were aligned properly. He watched her carefully. It truly amazed him that he was married to this woman.

Elizabeth drove him to the service while trying to fill in the gaps in his memory. He knew he had been to a few military funeral services before but his memory was vague. Elizabeth told him about the honor guard and the folding and presenting of the flag but he remained blank.

When Jack arrived, there were a lot of servicemen milling around out the front of the church. Jack stayed with Elizabeth and she whispered to him some of their names and how well he knew them. A few of them approached him to say hello and Elizabeth took the lead using their names so Jack was able to follow her example. He tried to be friendly and follow their conversation but he was struggling at best. Elizabeth managed to redirect most of the conversation and ended up leading him into the church to sit down.

"Thank you Elizabeth" he said as he held her hand tight.

"It's fine Jack. You're doing okay" she whispered back.

Normally he would fall in with his fellow soldiers but he was more than happy to stay right where he was. He recognised Henry as he stood up to say a few words about Andy and Jack found himself staring at the large photo that sat at the front of the church. He couldn't help but think this could've been him. After all it was the same explosion that had stolen his memories. It had been so close. It could have been his photo up the front and Elizabeth could have been the one grieving for him. He had been feeling sorry for himself only moments before the service started but now this put it all into perspective. He squeezed Elizabeth's hand a bit tighter. She glanced up at him, tears streaming down her face. The look in her eyes told him that she was thinking the exact same thoughts. She leaned into him a bit more.

Afterward, they stood in a hall where refreshments were provided. Several men and women came and reintroduced themselves to him, which Jack was grateful for. Garry O'Donnell was one of them.

"O'Donnell?" Jack asked.

"Thornton. How are you going, man?"

"I've been better but I'm getting there. You are the first person that I've recognised."

"I can only imagine how hard that must be. Elizabeth asked me to spread the word about your memory issues."

"Thanks."

"It's the least I can do. How are your daughters handling it all?"

"They're fine. They actually understand better than all the adults I think" Jack said with a smile as he thought of the three of them.

"Well, that's good. Family life always suited you. At least that hasn't changed."

Jack grinned. "Do you have family?"

"Yeah. I have a wife and my son. He's six. Same age as Gracie. Milo is in her class at school."

Jack nodded.

"Jack, don't worry. It's all going to be a lot to take in. Let me know when you're ready and I can take you out to dinner with a few of our friends. We all miss you Jack."

"Yeah, its just I'm not the same."

"Of course you are" he said patting him on the shoulder. "You will always be the same man. Just different, that's all."

Jack nodded thankfully to him.

"I'll let you go Jack but I'm here if you ever need to talk or need help remembering anything. I was around a lot in the early days when we were training together."

"Thanks Garry."

"Your welcome."

Elizabeth drove Jack home and he sat next to her in silence.

"Are you okay, Jack?"

"Yeah, there's just so much to relearn. All of the army routines, my training as well as the people and their ranks. I don't know how I'm ever going to fit back in there."

"Your fellow soldiers understand Jack. You are one of the best and they all respect you. You were always a very patient man and a lot of the junior soldiers looked up to you. For that reason, everyone is looking forward to you returning whether you remember it all or not. You will make your way back up again."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Don't want to what?"

"Go back?"

Elizabeth had been concerned that would happen.

"Jack, until your memory comes back they can't deploy you again. For the moment you will be given a job on base that you can do with or without your memory."

Elizabeth pulled into the driveway.

"Is that what you're worried about? Being redeployed?"

"No, just trying to fit back in. I'm worried that I'm just going to be the odd one out. You know, drag everyone down."

"It doesn't work like that, Jack. You have a team. When Shane gets back, you will see that. He will take you under his wing. I'm sure of it."

Jack nodded and got out of the car. Elizabeth walked up to the house behind him. She opened the door and he told her he was tired and went upstairs. She checked on him later and found him stretched out, asleep on his bed. She closed the door and left him alone.

Viola dropped the girls back home and Elizabeth decided to walk them to the park. While Elizabeth sat there watching Halley pushing Gracie on the swing and Eve running up and down the slide, she had an idea. It wouldn't take her long and she had all the materials at home to put it into action. She called the girls over and told them all about it. They were so excited they wanted to start right away so the four of them hurried home.

"It's a secret though. We don't want Daddy to know so we have to be quiet" Elizabeth said as they walked.

They all nodded their heads excitedly at her.

"You know what a secret means, Eve?" she asked.

"Uh huh. No telling Daddy" she said with a grin.

"Good girl."

When they got home, Jack was still in his room. Elizabeth took the girls into the study and they pulled out what they needed and put it on the floor. Each of the girls was given a job and they set to work.

Jack didn't come out for the rest of the night. Elizabeth was worried about him but the project they were working on distracted her. After dinner, they all crept downstairs to the basement and hung it up on the wall.

Elizabeth went and checked on Jack but he was still asleep. She considered waking him but thought better of it. She went back to her room and went for an extra long shower before curling up in bed with a book.

As soon as Jack entered the basement early the next morning, something caught his eye. Covering the wall of the basement were three giant posters covered in colourful writing and glitter glue. The first poster had a family tree on it with photos of his girls at the bottom stemming upward to him and Elizabeth. He could tell that each of the girls had decorated their own photos and written their names. He smiled as he looked at Eve's barely legible handwriting.

Either side of him and Elizabeth, the branches stretched out sideways. One led to a photo of Tom and a boy underneath him. "Teddy 4 yrs" it said in what looked like Halley's handwriting. Above that there was a photo of his Ma with "Grandma Charlotte" underneath. There were branches next to Elizabeth that led to her sister Viola and Julie and their families. Above them were a photo of "Grandma Grace" and "Pop".

There was another poster with "Friends" scrawled across the top. There was a family photo of Rosie and Lee smiling with their kids. Halley had written the kids names and ages underneath. There were other photos of people and families that he didn't recognise, except for Abigail who stood with a man and a young boy. Elizabeth had written how they knew the person in each photo. Some said "teachers from school" or "friends from school". There was even "rowing team" under a photo of Elizabeth with two other girls, "Sarah" and "Jasmine". One of the other names caught his eye. "Shane" it said with "army friend" written next to it. The man stood with a woman holding a young boy and two young girls.

The last piece of paper was the biggest and had all his military friends on it. "Henry" was at the top and then there were a list of names and faces underneath.

Jack stared at all the pictures, reading the names and captions, working his way back across to the family tree. He looked down at Teddy again, seeing a vague resemblance to Tom.

His eyes were drawn back to Elizabeth's photo. She was an amazing woman.

Jack left the basement and went back upstairs. As he reached Elizabeth's room he stopped in the doorway and saw Elizabeth fast asleep with Eve curled up in front of her. He sat down on the other side of the bed and pulled his shoes off. He pulled the blankets up and slid into the bed, moving up close behind her. Elizabeth didn't wake up but he felt her shift back into him. He put his arm around her waist and she automatically wrapped her hand over his.

He inhaled the smell of her hair. She smelt so good. He closed his eyes and was concentrating on her breathing. For the first time in about ten days, he had the odd feeling that he had been here before. He tried to hang on to it but as soon as the feeling had registered with him it disappeared again.

He tightened his grip on Elizabeth and eventually began to doze off.

Elizabeth woke slowly to feel Jack up against her back, his arm wrapped around her waist holding her tight. She smiled, rubbing her hand over his arm. Then she froze. Wait a second.

The memories of the last week came flooding back. It had felt so natural waking up like that, she had forgotten that this was "new" Jack next to her. What is he doing in here? Has he remembered something?

"Jack?"

"Mmm."

"Did you remember something?" she said as she ran her hand gently over his arm.

"No."

Her heart did a dive. She had been so hopeful.

"Thank you for what you did downstairs."

That was what this was about.

"You're welcome."

Elizabeth shifted slightly so that she was on her back, being careful not to wake Eve. Jack's arm remained around her waist but she was able to turn her head to see him now. His dark eyes looked into hers.

"You are an amazing woman, Beth."

Elizabeth blushed but didn't look away.

"I'm not sure about that."

"You are. I know why I married you."

Elizabeth chuckled.

"Do you now?"

"Yeah." He leant in, kissing her gently and Elizabeth felt butterflies. He was coming back to her. She knew that much.

Elizabeth made pancakes again that morning so the five of them were sitting eating breakfast together. Jack noticed Eve was watching him silently.

"What do you say we go on a picnic today?"

"Yay!" Halley said.

"I might get one of Abigail's lunch baskets and we can drive over to the foreshore park."

"With the new play stuff?"

"Yeah." Elizabeth turned to Jack. "They just put in a whole lot of new play equipment and a water play area too."

"That sounds like fun, girls."

Halley and Grace were excitedly talking about what they wanted to go on first.

Jack cleaned up the breakfast dishes while Elizabeth helped them get ready.

Eve stayed downstairs and wanted Jack to pick her up.

"What's wrong, baby?"

She didn't say anything but curled into his chest.

After everyone was ready, they piled into the car, despite Eve reluctantly letting go of Jack. As soon as they got to the park, she was back in his arms. While his older daughters ran off to play, she stayed where she was, not interested.

Elizabeth came up to them and put her hand on Eve's back.

"Eve, baby, what's wrong? Don't you want to go play?"

Eve just shook her head and stayed where she was. Elizabeth just shrugged and led them over to a seat where they could watch Halley and Gracie play.

The three of them sat there for a while watching all of the children having fun.

Eve seemed to be interested every now and again but kept pulling back to him.

Gracie climbed to the top of a big net tower but seemed to get scared of the height and couldn't climb back down. She began screaming for Jack, even though Halley was next to her trying to coax her down.

Jack stood up and handed Eve to Elizabeth. As he walked toward Gracie he could hear Eve screaming for him as well. He looked back over his shoulder to see tears rolling down her cheeks and her arms outstretched to him. He stopped not knowing what to do.

"She'll be okay Jack. Go get Gracie."

Jack turned back toward the net tower and hurried over to help Gracie down.

Elizabeth had been watching Eve all morning. She was unusually quiet and clingy. Elizabeth had checked her temperature but she seemed fine.

When Jack handed her to him, she was surprised that Eve reacted the way she did. As Jack walked away she was screaming for him like Elizabeth had never seen her do before.

"Eve. What's wrong?"

"Daddy!" she screamed.

"Eve. Tell me what's wrong."

She was inconsolable. Elizabeth held Eve to her but the little girl was wriggling and trying to pull away.

"Let me go!" she wailed.

Elizabeth held her tighter.

"He's going to forget!" she wailed.

Elizabeth was surprised.

"What do you mean he's going to forget?"

"He'll forget me!" she kept screaming.

By this time, Jack had rescued Gracie, who was now back on solid ground and was running off behind Halley.

Jack jogged back to Elizabeth. Elizabeth let go of Eve who flew straight into his arms again. Elizabeth sat there surprised and her expression must have given something away to Jack.

"What's the matter, Beth?" he said as he sat back down next to her.

"Eve was screaming because she was worried that you will forget her."

Jack looked at her in surprise.

"Eve, baby?" he asked trying to tilt the little girls head up so that he could see her. Elizabeth could see just how scared she was.

"Why do you think I'm going to forget you?" Jack asked.

"Oscar said so."

Jack looked at Elizabeth puzzled.

"Oscar is Viola's oldest. Her cousin" Elizabeth whispered.

"I'm not going to forget you, Eve. I love you, baby. That's never going to change" he said.

"But Oscar said you lost your brain and you forgot everyone."

Jack smiled and nodded in agreement to Elizabeth, which made her laugh out loud. After all, that was exactly what had happened.

"Eve. You, Halley, Grace and your mom are not easy people to forget. I love all of you and I'm not going to forget you again."

"Really?"

"Really" he said. Eve sat there for a minute, her eyes drawn back to the play equipment.

"Okay I want to play now."

Jack put her down and she ran over to the smaller kids area.

"I see what you did there" Elizabeth said to him.

Jack tore his eyes away from Eve and looked over at her questioningly. He put his hand out and took her hand into his, their fingers interlacing.

"You didn't admit to the fact that you had already forgotten her once."

"I can't lie to her."

"But you just said that you're not going to forget her again. You don't know that."

"No, I don't" Jack said slowly. "But we would be pretty unlucky to have another setback like that."

Elizabeth nodded, her eyes locked on their hands.

"Beth, I did mean what I said."

Elizabeth looked back at him, his eyes were staring at her intently.

"What's that?"

"I do love all of you. I know you probably don't believe that but I know my heart still remembers you."

He pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed it. Elizabeth smiled and dropped her head onto his shoulder.

After a long day at the park, the girls crashed when they got home. Elizabeth sat on the lounge, a cup of tea in hand and her book. Jack came in and sat beside her. She put her book away.

"What's up Jack?" she asked seeing the worried look on his face.

"Can you tell me what happened to Doug."

"Jack, are you sure?" Elizabeth was worried. She had been dreading this conversation for a few days knowing it would come up soon.

"Yes. Please."

"Is this why you were so quiet yesterday?"

"Yes. I have to know."

Elizabeth nodded slowly.

Nine years before … (May 2009)

It was only one day after Jack returned from his deployment that he got the news. The other squad that was due to return a week later had taken a direct hit and received casualties. Jack had several friends in that squad as they all trained together, but none so close as his best friend Doug.

Doug and Jack had grown up together. They went to school together and decided to join the army together. Having Doug with him made the whole process much easier. Doug and Jack lived together for a while before they finally got accepted into the army in the same intake. They trained together, ate together and hung out together constantly especially after Jack and Rosie broke up. When Elizabeth came along things shifted between them a bit although Doug still used to hang out with them both quite a bit.

When Jack heard about the other squad getting hit, his concern immediately went to Doug and it was a whole day before they received word on who had been injured and who had fared worse.

Elizabeth got home from work to find Jack sitting out the front of her apartment block. As soon as she saw him she knew something was wrong. He held his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. She jumped out of the car as soon as it was in park and she was running to him.

"Jack?" she called.

Jack looked up. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot. He stood slowly and held out his arms as she wrapped her arms around his neck and she held him as his body was racked with sobs.

"Doug … didn't … make it" he managed to get out as she also began to cry. She stood there holding him for the longest time.

It turned out that Doug's squad had been out for a routine patrol and things had gone disastrously wrong. They had been ambushed. Doug and another soldier were killed and another three were injured. Jack knew all of the men involved.

Over the next week, Elizabeth became increasingly worried about Jack. He stopped eating and she was sure he wasn't sleeping. He stopped shaving and he had dark rings under his eyes. He didn't talk but tended to just sit there staring at the tv. How he was coping at the base, she wasn't sure.

Doug's funeral came around and although Jack cleaned himself up and stood next to Doug's mother at the service, Elizabeth knew he was just going through the motions. It was hard for her to watch.

Jack began to distance himself from everyone. Even when he hung out with Elizabeth, he refused to do anything except sit on her couch. She asked Lee and Shane to talk to him but Jack wouldn't talk. She asked him to go see someone but he refused. About three weeks after Doug's death, Jack was suspended from duty. Jack was lost.

He let himself into Elizabeth's place one Saturday morning, crashed onto her couch and turned the tv on. Elizabeth had one of her work colleagues over to do lesson plans. Liam was a new teacher who was taking over a maternity leave position. Fresh from college, he was struggling to pick up where the previous teacher left off. Since they both taught first grade, Elizabeth had offered to help him.

Elizabeth heard Jack come in and she wasn't surprised he didn't greet her. She understood he was grieving but at the same time she felt like he was just using her as a half-way house. Somewhere to escape to, but not necessarily to see her. She got up from the dining table and walked around the kitchen to find him.

"Jack?"

"Hi."

"What are you doing here? You were supposed to be away at training this weekend." Elizabeth stood behind the couch looking down at him.

"I got suspended."

"What? For how long?"

"Until I get it together. Whatever that means."

"Okay well I'm working for a bit, can you turn that down? Then I will talk to you."

He shrugged at her but turned the volume down. Elizabeth felt like she was reprimanding her teenage son instead of her boyfriend.

Elizabeth turned back and went through to the dining room. She sat back down and continued working on the lesson plans with Liam. Jack must have recognised a male voice in the apartment because he immediately came around looking for her. He stood at the entrance to the room looking between her and Liam who were sitting side by side at the table.

"Who are you?" Jack asked rudely.

Elizabeth looked up to see him standing there.

"Jack, this is Liam. He just started teaching the other first grade class."

"Hi Jack" Liam said standing up and offering his hand.

Jack didn't shake it but just stood there staring between them.

"Jack?" Elizabeth asked.

He looked at her and she saw a change in his eyes. His anger was evident.

"Jack?" she asked him again.

"How could you?"

"How could I what?" Elizabeth said standing and going toward him. As she got closer to him, she could smell stale alcohol. "Have you been drinking?" she asked surprised. Jack was not much of a drinker.

"What do you care?"

"Jack! You never drink like that!"

Sensing this was a bigger problem than she originally anticipated, she immediately turned back to Liam.

"I think we better do this another time Liam. I'm really sorry."

"That's okay. Thanks Elizabeth." Liam must have seen the look in Jack's eyes as he grabbed his notebook and hurried out of her apartment as fast as he could. Jack glared at him as he left. It wasn't until the front door closed that he erupted.

"You're cheating on me?!" he yelled.

Elizabeth looked at him in surprise.

"No" she said slowly.

"What was that about then?" he said angrily.

"I told you we were doing lesson plans." She spoke in a calm tone.

"I saw you kissing him."

Elizabeth's eyes went wide.

"No, I wasn't Jack."

"I know what I saw" he said angrily.

"No. You don't. That's the alcohol talking."

"I know what I saw" he said angrily. "How could you? I loved you."

"Loved me? What does that mean, Jack?" she fired back.

"I can't believe you!" his voice grew louder. "Right under my nose!"

"Cut it out Jack!" she began to yell back.

"How many were there while I was away if you're kissing a guy right in front of me?!"

"JACK!" she yelled at him, her eyes welling with tears.

"No! After everything that's happened I can't believe you. Are you sleeping with him?"

He had crossed the line. She hadn't even been with Jack in that way. Elizabeth snapped.

Her hand whipped out and slapped him across the face hard.

He pulled back stunned.

"How dare you! Just because you are upset about Doug's death does not mean that you can behave like this. I'm sorry about what happened but feeling sorry for yourself is not going to bring him back. He's gone. And he'd be ashamed of the man you've become."

"Elizabeth, I …"

"No Jack. Get out!"

"Beth .."

"Get out! Go pull yourself together."

His head dropped as he walked away.

"Well that all sounded pretty intense."

"Yeah, it was."

"So we broke up again? Did we break up a lot?"

"That wasn't a real break up?"

"It sounded like a break up."

"No, it was more of a break."

"What's the difference between a break and a break up?"

"Breaks aren't permanent. I knew it wasn't over between us."

Elizabeth didn't hear from Jack for two weeks. She had talked to Lee and she knew that Lee and Jack had met up but that was all she knew. Elizabeth had been really worried but Lee assured her that Jack was working through things. She left him alone and waited until he was ready.

Friday night, two weeks later, she was sitting at home eating dinner on her own when there was a knock at the door. When she answered it, Jack was standing there. He was cleanly shaven, his hair had been combed and he looked much better than when she had last seen him.

"I'm sorry" was all he said before she put her arms around him.

He held her close and they stood there, frozen in time.

Eventually her hands glided through his hair and his hands squeezed her tight.

"I got help, Beth" he murmured into her ear.

"I know. I'm sorry that I couldn't."

"But you did. The thought of losing you, shook me awake. I'm so sorry. What I said last time. I …"

"It's okay, Jack."

"No, it's not. I was horrible. I took everything out on you. I know you would never do that. I love you so much. I am so sorry."

"I love you too, Jack."

She took his hand and led him into the apartment. She sat down on the couch and he sat close to her, still holding her hand.

"I've been seeing the psychologist at the base, Frank. He's a really nice guy and an ex-serviceman. He gets it – all of it."

"That's great Jack."

"He told me everything I already knew. The same things you had already told me. Truthfully, Doug's death brought back all of the feelings I had when my father died and they seemed to compound inside me. Frank also told me that my behaviour toward you was on purpose. That I was pushing you away, trying to protect myself."

"But didn't that just make it all worse?"

"Yes. He's helped me get rid of the anger. I had my suspension lifted yesterday."

"That's great Jack."

"Out of everything though, my biggest regret was how I treated you."

"Jack, it's done. It's in the past. We have to move forward. But next time you need to let me help you instead of shutting me out."

"I want to make it up to you."

"Oh really?" she said smiling at him cheekily. "How are you going to do that?"

Jack leant in and kissed her. She had missed him so much.

"I'm never letting you go again" he said.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

She pulled him down toward her and his lips eagerly devoured hers.

"So how did you know it wasn't a permanent break?"

"Because I knew I was going to marry you one day. That was just a challenge."

Jack thought about what she said.

"So what about now?"

"The amnesia?" she asked.

He nodded.

"It's just another challenge I suppose. If we face them together, they will make us stronger."

"You are already a very strong woman, Beth."

"Well we have faced a lot of challenges" she said laughing.