The next morning, he has an early breakfast alone in the kitchen. He hasn't had much sleep and his meal consists of a strong cup of coffee and an apple. He wandered in the area where her bedroom is and sort of lingered on behind her door for a few minutes until he eventually walked on.
To his surprise, he recognizes her silhouette sitting outside. He should have known she would have an early morning. When he steps through the glass door the sun has barely arisen; the sky is still colored pink and warm orange.
He walks down to the pier by the lake.
Kat is gazing at the horizon, ironically sitting on the very bench where he mourned the news of her loss.
"Can I join you?" he asks.
Her eyes remain locked on the scenery before her. "Yes," she answers softly.
He sits beside her and gazes ahead. It hits him now how beautiful the view is he who had dreaded this place for months. Sitting by her side, now he can contemplate and see the beauty of the landscape.
He begins to gather the words he wants to say but she has already anticipated it.
"I'm not mad at you," she comments coolly, eyes fixed ahead. "I just had to say my piece before you said something we would both come to regret."
"So you don't want to hear me say it?" he asks.
"Not yet. Not until you are absolutely sure the person I am now —that I have become — is the one you are after." After a pause, she closes her eyes and adds: "You know, I've really tried to remember — for me, of course — but also for you. I know how much it means to you to get Natasha back but after learning more about the Infinity Stones here, I realize it cannot be undone."
She turns to look at him and her expression is tristful, apologetic. "It can't, Steve. And I am so sorry you have to go through losing Natasha again. But after this couple of days, I know I can't be her. I can't bring her back to you."
His eyes fill up with tears. Tears for Natasha and tears for her which blend together in a sullen haze.
She runs her hand over her cheek, wipes away a tear she has just shed.
"It's not your fault," he answers. "I never should have made you feel like you were inadequate…because you're not. And I'm sorry our visit here wasn't insightful."
"It was," she answers, clearing her throat and putting on a smile. "I like it here. And the mission was a new kind of thrilling I had never felt before — it felt good. I understand who I was and why I was that person better. I relate to her now."
There is a content grin playing on her lips. She then looks down and rubs her hands over her thighs. "But I also know this isn't my world anymore," she continues. "I miss Eliza and I miss the guesthouse."
She wrinkles her nose sheepishly like someone embarrassed to confess their guilty pleasure.
He reaches for her and squeezes it with a tender smile. "I miss it, too."
She cocks an eyebrow. "Really?" she beams.
He nods. "Really."
He stands up, glances one more time across the lake then turns to her, stretching out his hand. "Let's get you home," he says.
She wraps her hand around his and gets up. His lips delicately capture hers and he is filled by the soothing certainty all is right.
The following afternoon, they are in Louisiana. Sitting at the dinner table, next to each other — Eliza at the head — they eat dinner and smile at each other in unison both knowing in their heart it feels like they are back at home.
The next days go by as blithely. Before leaving, Clint made Katherine promise she would stay in touch, therefore every two days she goes to sit by the laptop and sends an email. Steve notices she often smiles while doing so — it seems she is not insensitive to Barton's sense of humor.
She also tells Eliza all about her stay in the compound, shares the tale of her first mission. Her eyes light up with excitement while Eliza watches her with a knowing smile peeking through her weary expression.
"And that is how two criminals without anyone's help."
"I'm not surprised," Eliza comments matter-of-factly. "I've always seen you as my superhero. You came and saved my guesthouse business, looked after me."
And as he listens, Steve sees the beautiful truth of it.
On Friday, a middle-aged couple checks in for the weekend in order to explore the area. The net morning, as Steve helps Katherine pick up the dishes that have been used, he chimes in the conversation and suggests a couple of sites to visit. Katherine eyes him with a cocked eyebrow. After the couple has put on their jackets and shot off for the day, she looks over the kitchen counter.
"Look at you," she says," you almost sound like a local!"
He turns to her and smiles. He walks over to the counter and leans over. "I had a good guide," he comments with a playful grin.
She rests her chin on the palm of her hand and smiles. He leans in and stokes her lips with his.
"I thought we could go horse riding today," she murmurs. "It's been a while."
His thumb caresses the side of her face. "I'd like that."
The following week, Steve goes to do some DIY in the backroom. His eyes fall on the canvas Katherine has left to dry. Half of it is unfinished but the first colors and the sketch done in pencil are enough to recognize the setting. It is the lake by the Avengers compound.
At the forefront, two vague figures sit facing the scenery. He smiles as he understands she has drawn a memory — a very recent one — which involves him, too. He stands in front of the canvas for a couple of minutes, contemplating the little details and the accurate choice of colors. He finds himself enthralled by her meticulous and vivid recollection of the scenery. Her eyes and memory absorbed every single detail with extreme acuteness and accuracy. And it make shim realize that her Black Widow skills are still there: her strong sense of observation, her pedantic perception of her surrounding, the discipline with which she utilizes them are all present, only used for different purposes. Katherine is what Natasha would have been if she had never been thrown in the secret intelligence world.
A thud coming from upstairs interrupts his thinking. He goes to resume his work and collects his tools when Katherine's alarmed voice call out a few moments later.
"Steve!" she yells from upstairs.
He puts everything down, runs through the door, across the living room to the staircase by the entrance door. Rushing along the corridor, he catches sight of Eliza's bedroom door wide open and finds Katherine leaning over her unconscious body. She looks up at him with an anguished expression.
"Please get the doctor right off the Johnson's farm!"
And he heads out and jumps in the Chevy with a racing heart.
Steve is silently standing by the window, arms crossed over his chest as he watches the doctor examining Eliza who is lying in her bed, Katherine sitting by her side, holding her hand tightly. Eliza's face is pale and haggard and he notices how her hand is lying loosely under Katherine's grip.
The doctor is quiet, swapping instruments to auscultate her with an unreadable expression.
After several minutes, he eventually puts all the equipment back into his case and stands up.
"I told you you were alright," Katherine comments with a light-hearted tone which is only betrayed by the grim look in her eyes.
"I need to speak with Eliza for a moment," the doctor says.
Katherine frowns and glances at Eliza who nods at her softly. She pats the elderly woman's hand tenderly before letting it go and heads out into the hall, followed by Steve.
They both stand across from each other, leaning on the wall. The silence is daunting.
After minutes which seem to drag on, the doctor eventually steps out and pulls the door behind him. Katherine immediately stands back up and turns to him. The doctor's face is somber.
"Her pulse is low and she had labored breathing. She's very weak."
Kat nervously bites her bottom lip but nods thoughtfully. "Ok, I'll tend to her. Maybe her medication needs to be changed."
The doctor rubs the spot above his eyebrow and clears his throat.
"There's nothing that I can do, Katherine. It's the end."
Steve glances away and folds his arms.
Katherine shuts her eyelids as she seems to process the information. She shakes her head and babbles.
"What do you mean it's the end? We'll just take her to a hospital where can be done to help her."
"Eliza knows and she's at peace with it. She doesn't want to spend her last moments in a hospital."
Her eyes fill up with tears and she bites her cheek. "How long?" she asks with a hard look.
"Not long," he answers softly. The cruel truth begins to sink in and she looks over his shoulder at the closed door. The doctor puts a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Katherine. We will all be. Eliza is a beloved member of our community. But we must respect her wish."
She stares at him blankly then steps past him to the door. She wipes her hands across her cheeks, takes a deep breath in and puts on a well-crafted smile. She turns the knob and walks in.
Several hours later, long after the doctor has gone, Kat leaves Eliza's bedside to make her food. She asks Steve to take over and says she won't take long.
He walks into the bright room, pulls the chair closer to bed and sits down. Eliza is lying against her pillows with a collected and calm expression.
"It's a beautiful day," she comments musingly as she gazes towards the window. Her breathing is ragged, although hardly noticeable. "I guess that's how I've always wanted to go. Some people would rather depart on a rainy day — they say so they won't leave with any regret— but I personally it's a bit too dramatic." She chuckles softly.
The corner of his mouth curls up into a small grin. She eventually turns to look at him. There is a playful look twinkling in her eyes.
"This is the moment when I'm supposed to tell you to take good care of my Katherine and to always make her happy — especially the next few weeks — but I won't do any of it. I know you will not fail at this task."
His throat tightens. "I promise I won't," he says quietly.
They move on to lighter talks, filled with shared smiles and laughter. Eventually, when their private moment soon comes to a close, her expression turns serious but tranquil.
"I'm glad I met you, Steve Rogers," she says with a grin as she lays her hand on his.
He leans forward, covers her knuckles with his second hand and smiles.
"It was my honor to meet you, Eliza Miller."
A couple of hours later, the light-hearted chuckles have vanished from the house. The rooms and halls have been invaded by some heavy silence. Katherine is sitting on the bed, holding Eliza's hand. The woman hasn't said a word in a while: she just gazes peacefully through the window.
"You know when I came back after five years and that Robert was gone, I was scared," she begins musingly. "When I dusted, everything was dark. No heaven or any other place. Just nothingness. I feared death was only some kind of switch that flips off and that I would never see Robert again."
Her daunting words echo through the room. Yet the tone of voice is devoid of worry; on the contrary, it is calm and composed.
"But now that I can feel it is the end, I can feel how different it is from that moment I was dusted. And now I know that I am on my way to meet with Robert. He's waiting for me."
Katherine's eyes fill up with water.
"I'm not ready for you to go," she murmurs and her voice breaks. A tear rolls down her face.
"It's okay. You were here for me, like a loving daughter, when I was all alone and I am relieved to know that you won't be when I go. That is the only thing that would have held me back."
Katherine buries her face into Eliza's hands, trying to muffle her sobs. She holds her head back up and looks her in the eye.
"I love you," she cries.
Steve is watching from the corner in the room where he is standing. He quietly mourns the loss of a friend and his heart breaks at the sight of Katherine's grief.
Eliza smiles with the fond look of a mother. Her head slightly sinks into her pillow and her eyes close slowly forever.
Katherine's sobbing fills the room.
Author's note: The next chapter is the final one! Thank you so much for your sweet reviews — they always make my day!