So, there's another engine called Edward, but I keep getting him confused with Thomas since they're the only two smaller engines with the same shade of blue. Supposedly, Edward is one of the few engines who isn't an asshole in this show, and that's because he's actually older…and kinda cute in my opinion.

Anyway, Edward was older and smaller than all the other engines(except you, Thomas), so he was constantly depressed for not being used as much. And being the huge dickhead he is, Gordon's gonna exploit that depression.

So, Gordon's like, "You're nothin' but a limp-dick fucker, dude."

And Edward's all, "At least this limp dick got more pussy than you when I was your age."

"Fuck you!"

"That's not such a bad idea."

Eventually, Edward got enough pity out of a driver one day to get taken out for some work, and his mood flip-flopped faster than the shoe with the same name. He rambles on about having more jobs that night, and he totally fuckin' ignores everyone screeching at him to shut up.

When they all wake up the next morning, Gordon's all, "Alright, ya assholes, watch how real engines get riches and fuck bitches!"

But Edward's too much of a nice guy to give a shit, and he goes about his day of shunting trucks. That's another reason why Edward is, and always will be, more tolerable than everyone else. He's not in it for money or sex, he just wants to do his job knowing that it'll make someone else's day better.

Anyway, Gordon rolls by and he's pissed because he's not only not pulling fancy coaches, but he's also pulling a dirty-ass goods train.

And Big Blue's like, "For fuck's sake, I shouldn't be stuck doing this shit! I'm supposed to be the biggest pimp in town, not that fat, flabby, Abraham Lincoln wannabe!"

But Gordon eats his words when he can't get halfway up a huge hill, so they ask Edward to come help and push him.

So, Medium Blue's like, "What's wrong, bro?"

And Big Blue's just all, "Were you not paying attention? I can't get over this hill 'cause this train's too fuckin' long."

"Seems to me that you just need to work out more."

"Work out more?! Bitch, if I got any bigger, my boiler would literally explode! You ever seen a steam engine's boiler explode?! It's fucking horrible!"

"Yes, I've seen it firsthand. It happened dozens of times during Train War 1."

"Wait, you're a veteran?"

"Uh, duh!"

So, Edward pushes Gordon from behind and screams at him until he pulls his own weight, and they finally get him over the hill. But he fucks off without saying thank you, and even though Edward's a little pissed off, he still chooses to avoid confrontation.

His driver then tells him, "Don't worry, dude. He may be bigger and stronger than you, but at least you're not the one with performance issues."