Good Old RE3 fun

by SheerLuck Home

However Jill wanted to see them burn on their way to Hell so she went back to the console, increased electricity output way high, grilling them all in a beautifully unified dance of pain; soon their heads all popped up one after another, a great finish to the macabre performance. The machine also fried and died. Now stepping over BBQ cadavers and puddle of dark blood. Crispy. Tasty

RESIDENTIAL EVILNESS 3: NAMASAS

As Raccoon Anus City descends into further chaos, Jill Valentine scribbles a few notes in someone else's diary she just randomly picked up, now mimicking typewriter noises with her mouth while writing the following: ''September 28, daylight. Somehow I'm still alive... Survived another day eating Chef Boyardee Beefaroni...''

Meaning she had already built some antibodies to the virus. Good job.

X+++++++X

The woman is brutally blown out of the building which triggers a cool tune, after removing bits from her face she then straightens surrounded by flames plus friendly neighbors that suddenly want to start a barbecue. Understandable, she really looks delicious. Jill promptly replaces a dislocated arm but decides she's not hungry enough for rotted meat, thus decimates them all with headshots. Take that fuckers. Now walking down the only available small corridor she avoids another guy that welcomed her with his warm puke. The human dodged and shoved him through a broken window in the same building, successfully impaling the zombie on shards now gurgling in frustration; giving her time to climb the dumpster blocking her path.

When she got to the other side, Valentine realized both left and right alleys were blocked by zombies partying; wanting to add to the fun, she aimed her M92F pistol to the right and fired three of them in the legs so they'd fall to make the remaining ones trip over the obstacles. Having halted that crowd for now, Jill faced left and shot someone's arm off, grabbed it and proceeded to beat them with it, chuckling at the slapping sounds adding to their protesting moans as they all bumped into each other's and fell backward.

Rotted friends from the first pack were now either crawling towards her appetizing ankles or were getting up. Not wanting to waste more bullets, the woman then urged towards the door in front of her, quickly noticing that the alleys in Raccoon tended to be way too narrow for anyone's survival in this infested city scenario. The heavy metal door flung open in the face of the zombie waiting on the other side, smashing her across the wall; Jill didn't notice since she was busy getting away from the offended monsters.

As she ran past a window, some dude tried to grab her but the woman expertly twisted out of the grip, then was out of the dark alley in no time. However it turned out that the arm belonged to one of the few survivors and he had been looking for help. «No wait don't go!» Well as he still stared toward where the woman had escaped to, trying to ignore the piss flowing out of him, he smelled something much worse behind him now. His screams of pain were like music to the nearby famished group out there who all tried to get through the window to join in the fun.

Shit luck pal.

X+++++++X

Fighting her way through the nightmarish, but oh-so-fun, streets; Jill ended up shooting a lot of civilians and police officers alike. She'd even recognize some of them despite their decomposed and damaged state; a couple of which Valentine felt no remorse at all after removing their worthless existence from this Earth. Whether it was by blowing their brains out like a pro, or shooting their limbs one by one watching them struggle to reach their precious food, or exploded them with conveniently well-placed barrels. Some of those fucks had been real assholes during her working months with the police force, and finally getting rid of them was a blessing mixed with being therapeutic; even if now it barely mattered since the whole goddamn town was dying.

Still, HA!

She'd just shot the last one of them, he fell down and stopped moving but the wise-one neared and shot him again, «Don't pretend you're dead.», he moaned once and really died this time.

Experienced gamers will know that right away, whether they are truly dead or not. Jill knows out-of-bounds things too. Like also liking that background tune while in certain parts of the city at the beginning: tun, tun, tuntun tuunn. Duuduu duuuu duuuuuuu...

Fucking good times.

Eventually Jill ended up face to face with another survivor, whom obviously was still alive only due to being a coward. Hey, perhaps he was Brad's father.

Valentine had just entered a warehouse to investigate the hell out of it too, and maybe find a Gatling gun; when some fat dude showed up from behind a storage container. His clothes were wrinkled-dirty and the expression on his features showed he was close to losing it, unless that was just his everyday face and style.

The man was coming out to do whatever but when he saw the intruder, he stumbled backward as his visage grew even more alarmed, «No, noNO I'm not going with you! »

Jill frowned, «...No you definitely aren't-»

«If I shoved my own daughter in the arms of those things to save myself and my last sandwich, what says I wouldn't do the same to you!? Wait-I didn't do that, stop putting words in my mouth!»

«The way I hear it you did your kid a favor; listen you delusional moron I'm not even trying to save you. I'll be on my way and you can just die here like you've planned on doing, see if I give a shit.», she then went towards the stairway to her left under surprised eyes.

«I TOLD YOU! I'm not LEAVING here!»

Valentine simply dismissed his presence as she kept ascending the stairs.

«Just GET AWAY FROM ME!», and he ran-faltered, broke-ankle towards the cargo container to lock himself in there.

«With pleasure...»

At least she didn't have to waste ammo on his ass.

X+++++++X

Shooting a couple more brain dead wanderers, Valentine entered the Bar Black Jack, the woman got there in time to witness a spectacle. She just sat at the bar and picked up a bottle before pouring herself some, then sipped calmly as Brad got assaulted by one of them; the head of a deer on the nearby wall was also watching silently.

Why is he wearing a bright-yellow vest though, so that we can locate him better to save his ass...? After seven seconds the observer scanned the counter for any peanuts, but the man's scream drove her attention back to the attack ahead; zombie taking a few bites out of him. Well someone won't be hungry anymore. Tired of hearing him struggle, pant and scream; she aimed then obliterated the monster's head, leaving Brad slumped over the counter with shock on his face.

Well, he always had that face in any situations really. And shit in his pants.

She sighed, «So, have you seen Chris's corpse around town yet?»

«He's coming !»

«Ohh I really wish you hadn't said that...», making a face before gulping her glass, «I don't care who you have a hard on for and I don't want to see him come.»

Brad's eyes shifted in his sockets and it really took him all his efforts not to run away this instant, «The monster is coming for us! He'll come, you'll see!»

«Also don't want to know about some fucked up fetishes you have about which animal.», she stood up, «Leave the animals alone; although if you happen to run into any mutated pets around, be sure to play with them. »

Vickers's only answer was to speed out the backdoor; literally right through it.

X+++++++X

Our barely-dressed hero was nearing the Police Station's main doors when she heard a rusty sound, turned around in time to see Brad run in through the front gate, with a gigantic pal on his heels. She dismissed Vicker's intense look of terror and smiled, «Oh hi, my name's Jill V-», his buddy suddenly grabbed him for a warm embrace followed by a purple appendage shot right through the man's screaming mouth.

Jill frowned, «Well if that's how you shake hands, I want none of that...»

The not-so-friendly tall guy effortlessly threw the corpse away with total disregard; his new target in sight, «S. .R. », the thing's voice warm and deep, as if greeting her towards a pleasant death he was more than willing to provide, and for free.

How kind.

«No stars tonight dude, sky's dead black: much like this whole city now. »

Suddenly Jill's vision became semi-monochrome and letters appeared in front of her eyes asking whether she wanted to remain and die or shit her skirt. She blinked, «...the hell was-» only to get smacked in the face by something very solid, «Ahhh!», then she got grabbed and lifted over just like Brad, «Noo! », but before the Tyrant could terminate a real brain this time, the woman poked him in his one available eye.

«Urgh!», making the beast stumble backward, losing grip.

Seriously that was his main weak point, why didn't anyone ever think of shooting that. With no ears and no sense of smell either I doubt he'd been programmed to search his targets by bodily odors. But author digress, it's a game after all.

Now free, her brain had recorded that this sweet gentleman is left handed; ''thanks, that's gonna help into killing him.'' Valentine rolled out of the way and promptly picked the unlimited M4A1 assault rifle out of her bra, didn't bother to stand up and aimed, «Got a friend too; say hello. », now filling the courtyard with shots and constant «Urgh urghurghurghurghurgh! » of her now-dancing enemy. Turns out the charming guy bled toxic purple grape juice: refreshing and scrumptious.

After a few seconds of being mercilessly tickled, the Nemesis fell on his face. «...so soon...? » , genuinely disappointed by the fun being so short-lived. Valentine was curious as to what he was and how he'd came to be, so she went closer to examine it. Not far from there, Brad had pretty much done emptying himself of blood due to his heart not pumping anymore, but who cares. The woman stood above the beast and examined from afar the cables coming out of his back and disappearing through his collar bone... when he woke from his very short nap, rising up and screaming «Wuuuuaaarrrrggghhh! », fingers hooked into claws, palms upward like he wanted to taste blood.

Jill dodged his renewed attempt a at grasp, lifted her weapon again and then started a series of shots-in-the-face interrupted by dodging; repeat that five times until she ended up near that pool of red blood then slipped on it. «Oh shi-»

Her finger pulled the trigger so bullets flew in an upward arc as she fell, killing a few crows flying overhead. Kaw, kaww! thus one flopped dead on Nemesis's head then rolled to the ground, Tyrant didn't care only focused on eliminating this small threat and then he could go have a little snack somewhere.

An additional one minute ensued where bullets were fired, Jill dodging or getting smacked in the face, manly groans and ''urghh!'' were heard, until the tall B.O.W. fell flat on his face for a real nap this time. He also dropped a bag of chips.

The victor popped it open, «Thanks for ensuring that my gastric juices don't turn on me next, so that an additional sweet-wrestling with you later can occur. », she also snapped pictures of him from her invisible phone. Quite a real trophy. Just like that Yawn back then at the mansion.

Good times those.

Before entering the station, she now had time to look at what had become of Brad, seeing his face had been decimated, «Quite an improvement there. » Then fumbled around his pockets for anything of help, since he had never been really helpful in either games or books anyway. To no surprise, Jill found nothing but dried up clipped nails, for some weird reason, and a creepy photo of Rebecca Chambers licking a basketball. With a sigh, she discarded both objects on his cadaver and moved on: there were some tiny bits of chips left inside the bag but Vickers couldn't eat them.

Unlike the remaining crows which converged on his tasty tissues.

X+++++++X

The police station's overall stench was worse than the one lingering outside, and equally filled with contaminated. The adventure-seeking S.T.A.R.S. went from gory rooms to rooms, exterminating everything that moved and blowing locked doors open with endless firing. FUCK those days in the Spencer Mansion lock-picking goddamn doors while trying not to get eaten, saving bullets and swallowing back her vomit. Now doors didn't laugh anymore.

Up to this point, the many faces of those who had died, stuck in the same position for ''all eternity'', still made her chuckle sometimes. Some were horrible, if anything was left of them that is, and others were just hilarious. Like this dude, don't know his story, how it developed or what killed him exactly; but his face portrayed deep regret. «Yup, that's a face full of regrets ...»

Maybe just because he looks like Silvester Stallone...regretting something that'll weight on his soul for all eternity.

Not needing freakin' keys to open any doors, Valentine then investigated one of the lockers; subtitles told her that 'someone has made quite a mess in here'. Scoffed, «You think so? What about the rest of the office...», she turned around to glance at the total mess of wrecked bureaus with bullet holes everywhere, coated with blood and corpses all around.

Adding to all this unorthodox moment, exploring around the precinct with the background vibe was funny in its own because from time to time there was that quick-loud noise that made it seem like someone was slamming a door shut somewhere.

In the next room she tore apart three guys wandering aimlessly, then when faced with a woman with her blouse open, «Sorry ma'am, we're currently closed. », her left arm savagely ripped off before bouncing off the nearby wall, the blood trajectory doing a nice round line mid-air as the limb spun sideways towards the floor afterward, roughly sending her to Zombie Heaven too.

Sad though that she had not run into the porky chief Brian Scumbag Irons yet; he too was in dire need of a couple of rounds in the balls, then in the face. After all that she had learned about the gross dumb fuck, the Umbrella part plus the sexual harassment documents; she was goddamn eager to find his sorry ass and hand it to him for good. Heavily stomp on his balls then feed him what's left of it; no mercy for piece of shit like him.

Jill was about to take the stairway to the second floor when the window right in front of her exploded into many shards, cutting her skin and leaving bloody cuts on her chest that looked like a sideway smiley face. She stared as the tall guy as he straightened, now holding a goddamn bazooka because he clearly needed such a weapon.

«Where did you find that...? As I recall, Kendo's weapon shop don't sell them; I know, I've tried to get one. »

«S.T.A.R.S. », it rumbled in his throat again.

«Hm k. », and she dodged the bazooka's sweep for her face, aimed and fired; her feet slightly sliding on the tiled floor, arms jerking up and down, the blasts of the assault rifle even more deafening within closed walls. As seen earlier, the many gunshot wounds were nothing but mosquito bites to the Nemesis; he brought the bazooka up again and fired. Being so fucking awesome and all, Jill dodged that, several times no less; then, somewhat pissed, Tyrant dashed her way to unscrew her head himself. Incoming slap avoided, she fired a few more bullets before evading again: that was really some sport due to his stature plus the narrow corridor... then her friend dropped for nap-time once more, gifted her with a cheaply-made figurine of himself this time.

Dark purple blood flooded the floor as she stared. «...so...what kind of fluid is that, hm? Does it taste like cranberry juice? Does it taste like blood...?»

Then that loud-quick noise repeated for the fifth time making Jill wonder out loud «Who's slamming doors?! »

Before leaving she could have at least taken the very dangerous-to-her-life bazooka away from this undying killing machine; but nah, that would have been too helpful. Instead she just took the figurine and hurried to the second floor; since it was safe to linger here while that thing was endlessly chasing her around.

Because: party time!

However her search for anything useful, despite not needing more than her skills and this cold baby in her hand; she came across a photo someone had dropped and left behind. It showed a man and a woman, the ginger man wearing an RPD uniform and the young brunette a sleeveless pink vest; they were both smiling, holding thumbs up. Also there was something on the ceiling behind them, some kind of skinless creature, which also seemed to smile.

«...I guess this is why they left in a hurry... »

Before doing the same she wanted to stop by the S.T.A.R.S. office; only there were nothing new there but the same old stories. Tons of firearms on Barry's desk along with pictures of him and his guns, showing off muscles and hugging some of them, licking at them with his eyes closed; the usual stuff.

Chris's had a single magazine on it, one talking about testosterone injections for some reason. Hers had video game magazines and bags of chips in every drawer. Rebecca's bag was filled with over 999 First Aid Sprays: looks like no one had thought to look in there during the horrifying days battling for their lives... could have helped... a lot.

Valentine had shoved three in her boots when the communicating radio beeped, she got closer and turned the dials, adjusted a few buttons until the transmission could be heard through static, deforming some of the words:

«..no...! Come in! -our baboon is cut-off!», then ended.

Jill blinked and then looked over where the white deduction board stood, remembering their days listening to Wesker getting infuriated at them through briefing sessions. For good memories' sake she picked up the pen and drew additional stick figurines on the board, adding the nemesis this time.

X+++++++X

Frowning, she read, «...hmm... 'ashes from cremations'... odd, but could come in handy. », somehow. Then her eyes moved to the guy's face, realizing she hadn't cared to show sympathy prior to stealing shit from him; it was even weirder that his face showed intense agony and pain. Yes, proper defining words.

She dismissed that and left.

Valentine eventually came across one boutique that sells clothes. One of the male mannequins in the window is what drew her attention since it was dressed in a sexy policeman uniform. «Interesting. Wasn't aware we have that kind of place here. »

The store was empty, except for a body slouched over the counter near the cash registry. She aimed and asked, «Sleeping on the job? »

Only the soft music kept being heard though. Approaching, she bashed the woman on the head, waited, but nothing happened. «...Death by boredom most likely. »

Leaving the fortunate employee to her dearest dreams, Jill went from one cubicle to another, however after eyeing the female clothes, she grimaced, «Like I'd dress in those get-ups.», then halted after seeing the uniform she used to wear at the Spencer Mansion, «Wait, why is this available in a boutique?! Goddamn cosplayers...!», and proceeded to steal it.

She decided it'd be best to change her attire, the ''clothes'' she's wearing now is all that was available at the time seeing all of her other garments had either been destroyed by putrid bodily fluids of all kinds, half-burnt or tore into pieces by avid brain dead fuckers. Also it was hard to concentrate on survival as one continuously wondered when one of her goddamn breast was going to poke out at some point, and this stupid skirt was too tight to allow optimal movement.

Case closed.

X+++++++X

Now equipped with better garments and reaching farther parts of Raccoon Anus, next was the time to play with mutated dogs and apparently the virus had a thing for Dobermans seeing that no other breed of canines would get infected. Imagine a Chihuahua mutant...so tiny and a lot more fucking annoying: would be interesting to shoot those.

Using her sixth sense some more, Jill would know whenever they were preparing to jump, she'd move out of the way with perfect timing and then immediately gun them down like the goddamn pro she was. So damn satisfying, but being a dog person it wasn't that nice to hear their yelp of pain; well either them or her so fuck it.

The pet-controller ran along a wrecked bus then instinctively moved away from an invisible canine, it leaped past her not knowing what had happened only to get killed instead of her. Bam, owned. Then around the bend she saw a corpse, got closer to search his pockets and found a similar bottle but with a yellow label on it this time.

«More ashes. Bit weird, but oh well. »

X+++++++X

Turning another corner while running through the tiny alleys filled with many shops, Super-cop almost got obliterated along with the wall ahead of her as the giant Nemesis stepped out of it. She had rolled backward out of the way, now chocking on the dust as her persecutor turned the target's way to grant her with that large pristine smile of his. Oddly enough, he had come out nearby a Dentist neon sign hung up there.

«Advertising and killing...?... »

His only answer was his typical word followed by a left hook, attaining her jaw thus making her head collide with the brick wall behind her. Shit. Momentarily dizzied, she got lifted off the floor... but instead of killing the human he just threw her away further down the passage. She scraped her elbows and looked at him while getting up, «...the fuck...?»

Tyrant's only answer was to heavily tread her way, looking menacing in the semi-lit path, neither bothering to lift his bazooka nor dash. «...Oh, I get it; playing with your prey. », she darted towards the end of the alley, shouting «Sorry but I'm doing the playing-around here, catch you later!» and was gone.

If nemesis could blink in surprise...

Once exiting that door and leaving her persisted pursuer behind, chuckling to herself, a set of large window shattered to her immediate right and crows converged on her. Not to be back-stabbed or get attacked from all directions, Jill bent and lay flat on her back before using the handgun to be more accurate. She received empty cartridges in the face, feathers and one even shat on her; but within a few seconds they were all expertly decimated. Take that. She picked up one of them to wipe the excrement off her then started walking away while discarding it over her shoulder as if nothing had happened.

Next she entered the Raccoon Anus City Press building. Going up the fiery stairs, a door to her right was burning as well and its glass pane burst in Jill's face at her approach. She glanced at it, «...k...», and kept advancing. Walking past then it brutally blew off its hinges, colliding with her and almost tripping her in the stairs. «OK fine! Fuck...! », that door seriously wanted the human dead. Now ascending the stairs faster, she ended in the office with three women standing there, apparently just admiring the pretty flames spreading to stuff.

However upon Jill's sweet smell of open-buffet, they all turned in unison towards her only to get effortlessly dismembered. The room was small for a working office, farther down was a guy seated there, the scent of sweet-ass blood must have woken him up, he tried to get on his rotting feet as Valentine aimed, «No, please, don't get up. », and he also ceased to exist.

Indifferent, Jill glanced over the messy bureaus and shelf, when she suddenly whipped her arm towards the large glass-window in the wall, aiming at whoever had sneakily entered.

Dude, same M4A1 pointed at me, olive Kevlar vest, military equipment; however he lowered his weapon within seconds seeing she wasn't a threat... and now he stared emotionless.

And Jill now realized that as she had been busy browsing through the bureaus, she had instinctively grabbed the first thing under her hand before turning towards the source of movement. The woman let the heavy stapler drop and it hit the damaged open mouth of one zombie, deepening in there.

Then proceeded to pull ranks to look more professional than what this fiasco introduction scene implied, «Jill. Alpha Team. RPD S.T.A.R.S. unit; who do you represent? »

His slightly-tanned skin and mild accent what was came through first, «Carlossssssss Oliveira. I work for the Umburial Butt-hazard Corrupted Shit, UBCS for short; we were sent here to rescue the civilians.»

Valentine darted her weapon up and kept aim at his face, however he didn't even flinch; probably because Newcomer didn't know who he was facing.

«You're not gonna shoot; women never kills th-» RRRRRATATATATATATATAAA!

YOU, er- HE DIED

GAME OVER

...oh for fuck...

LOADING:...Somehow, he's still alive. Welcome to th horror.

Back to Carlos now frowning, «...Do you have a problem? »

Then they both heard a suave 'uuuuahhhh' coming from beyond the door. Jill's aim switched automatically like a robot, «The guest of honor...», then her vision worsened again with that weird filter; letters asking her whether she wanted to toss the UBCS to her executioner as decoy, or 'hide' in the hospitable fire.

Before they could do anything the door blew open, revealing the depths of Hell; Tyrant made one huge step but then another gust of fiery wind exploded thus sent him through the wall-window. The whole thing had been very sudden and hilarious, Valentine started laughing, the guy glancing between her and the tall whatever-the-fuck-this-is.

Jill took another photo then wiped a tear from her eye, « That would have been a scoop, huh. »

The guy was about to demand an explanation, when Tyrant decided that five seconds was enough humiliating time with his ass up in the air like that.

A twitch from him is all it took Jill to react so she promptly tossed the man through the window at her left, cutting his skin open before following him; both of them broke their spines down below.

The mercenary tried to replace his broken bones, «OW, my fucking ass! You trying to kill me?»

Jill shoved a medicinal plant in her nose and was fine just like that. «No else you'd be dead, if the game didn't save your ass. Then should I have left you choking on a huge slimy tentacle then? I'm sure you would have liked that.»

«...what...? »

Valentine went over to a nearby plant resting in a corner and picked it up while he kept blabbering, «Just so you know, I'm not into that ''pain equal pleasure'' thing, okay? Unless, you are...»

«I am: when it comes to giving all the amount of pain to stupid fucks that deserve it. », she was thinking about Irons and the likes. Valentine neared him and then shoved the plant in his pants above his ass, «There, all fine. »

He sprung to his feet, «What the fuck lady?»

«It'll make the pain go away; can't say the same for that face of yours though... and that awesome thing wants to party for ever but I don't have that kind of stamina. I gotta get out of here. You, do what you want: perhaps die.», and on that she was gone.

Before he could move however, something dripped on his right shoulder; the guy slowly looked up, and through the window was a face poking, staring...smiling widely.

He quickly followed the woman out, only to end up facing the barrel of her gun again, she said «You're not here to rescue civilians, that's bullshit; Umburial are fucking assholes with way too much money on their hands and the moral conscience of a dead bush. They got bored and decided to breed some sick, cool shit, and test it against dork humans to congregate data and get unlimited supplies of hard on. The only reason why they'd send you idiots in and dress it all up as ''rescue'' teams is to save face and pat themselves on the back. »

«...Why'd you shove a plant down my pants...?...»

Jill blinked. «After everything I revealed to you, that's... fuck it. », she moved her index toward the trigger when what he said next made her freeze in complete wondering.

«OH I know why now! I'm sure you wanted to ask me out at McDonald's! It's the stoopid accent, all the ladies and gents go loca y loco for it.»

They both blinked for a few seconds. She was wondering if the fall on his head earlier resulted in severe brain damage; or if he had been born that way. However before she could definitely shoot him, he was so proud with himself that he ran away fearing any come back better than his, «See ya later!»

Valentine followed him with her gaze, he almost got his face chewed by a dog but then managed to kill it, ran to the big double gate of City Hall only to realize they were locked...she saw him glance her way...cursed and ran in the opposite direction, finally leaving her line of sight. Then Jill heard several more explosions from the same building, followed by angry growls and two rockets.

Time to get the fuck out.

In search for the goddamn diamonds required to open that stupid gate, who the fuck designed this shit, Jill happened to run close to where she had left that fat non-cooperating delirious fuck when she had escaped the blowing apartment building. So running past the door leading to the warehouse, she heard a woman scream in utter fear and pain. Not wanting to miss on the fun, Valentine went through the door and found... well, no one. So she got up the stairs and through the other entrance, ending up in the warehouse once more and the realization that the guy had thrown a party in her absence.

There was the sound of frantic tearing and masticating; yum, and a group of infected festering on that same guy who had screamed at her to leave him alone. So then, the 'woman' scream... came from him apparently. Why had he left his hideout though? Who knows, maybe he had farted in the cargo container and came close to suffocating on his own stench, had to open a door and breathe...then ended up partying unwillingly. Jill left them to their business and went over to the storage trailer, opened the remaining door just to be sure about not getting intoxicated by that possible-fart lingering, before stepping inside. She located three plastic bottles, «Fatter, figures there would be more ashes.»

Then found his diary, the title on the cover made her snort, «What kind of name is Dario...pfff, hahaaaa... », she shoved the bottles under her beret and abandoned him there. That's what he had asked for anyway.

X++++++++X

Val-in-time was going back towards her goal when she ended up in additional alleys, plus some dude shouting « NO! » before she saw him run ahead of her and disappeared, soon followed by thirty eager zombies. She smirked from the funny scene and as they tried chasing after him, she shot them all dead; had to mount their bodies to reach the other side and follow the mystery man.

The path and door lead her inside the Grill 13, to her immediate right were tanks letting out some air or gas, «Well that's comforting. », walked past it ending up in the kitchen...and Carlos over tons of cheeseburgers.

With the sound of the leaking gas plus his frantic eating, he had not heard her enter; he was chewing down on them like he had not eaten in weeks. Jill approached and picked one, making him jump in surprise thus choke on the seven burgers currently in his mouth. She watched him struggle a few seconds while biting on the tasty food herself, then knee-kicked him in the stomach hard. Spitting and couching, taking his breath back, Valentine resumed her meal.

Carlos didn't have time to 'explain' when another invitee walked in, and this one they both heard as he broke the door down and stomped his way to them. Around the corner came Nemesis, and the first thing he saw were the delicious cheeseburgers; which those two non-sharing selfish puny humans would pay for with their lives.

Jill quickly sniffed her armpit but that wasn't it, «How did he find me!?»

Because you smell like a sandwich.

« Wuuuaaarrrghhhh!», lifting his crooked left hand, clearly asking to be handed some burgers.

Then came the shitty choices made up only to infuriate her: throw food at him or cower in the flooded room below.

Carlos' eyes grew bigger, «Shit the burgers! », and both started firing: also hitting the tanks behind the threat, ending up blowing half the kitchen up and Tyrant their way. He slumped down at their feet, smelling toasted and a ketchup bottle popped out of him: then both glanced at each other's and Jill spoke first, «Take as much as you can!»

«Yup!»

Hurriedly filling every available spots with food, mouth included; then they ran out not leaving a single burger for the enemy although one slice of pickle and a bit of mustard had landed on his bald head in the frenzy.

He will be

so

pissed...

Down the street from Grill 13 was a theater, the way the camera was placed only showed the five last letters so instead it seemed like it was advertising 'eater'; both fitting for the zombie apocalypse but also the duo right now. They were both too busy to run away arms and mouth filled with supplies that Carlos didn't say his stupid line again, good riddance.

X++++++++X

Another alley ahead, she was about running in front of three windows when zombies dove through them as if they were aiming to plunge into a pool, which made them bounce on the ground before being effortlessly torn to shreds by the rifle.

In another alley, the woman was about to cross a tiny gate with one car parked to her left, when the passenger's door blew open and a zombie jumped at her. Bad ass reflexes oblige she dodged and punched him in the stomach, he fell backward where she annihilated him. Jill looked at this green car parked in this very narrow alley, and wondered how the fuck it got there. Then inside the car she saw the red-labeled bottle, «Why th do these people all have ashes on them?!»

An additional contaminated nearby moaned and tried to get up only to be knee-kicked in the face, «Shut up», prior to bullets ending his torment.

Having an idea, minutes later Valentine got to a safe place, listening to the soft comforting tune within the room; all while suspiciously mixing ashes, I mean, ammo powders. She tried so many combinations for the HK-p Grenade Launcher too, some even made of other kind of ingredients; like organic bits. The result was odd but precious as it turned out now the weapon could shoot famished rats. They would come out, somehow, full-sized and lunged at her enemies to decimate them ferociously; so instead of doing the devouring, the enemies were devoured. To top it off then the rats would turn on themselves and consume each others, leaving bits of flesh and bones to remember the scene by.

A spectacle like no other indeed. «...w o a h...»

Wait until she can use this awesomeness on that Russian prick... Our hero didn't meet him yet but I did, way too many times...

Jill left the gory alley smiling.

A mutated dog that had been watching from afar with horrified round eyes, well more like due to its eyelids having rotted away; decided it'd be best to just leave town altogether.

X+++++++X

At the Stagla Gas Station, Valentine enters and sees an untouched hot-dog on the table, ketchup and all just waiting for someone to complete the ritual. Twenty seven cheeseburgers had not been enough to satiate her; the woman was just about to indulge some more when Carlos sprints through the door and hastily shuts it behind him. Then one glance at the room for safety and he freezes staring, just like Jill whose right hand is left suspended near the food.

A neon light above the table flickers and dies.

However what is heard next isn't Carlos' stomach rumbling but the distant sweet choir of mutated freaks nearing their position: music to my ears. Jill's face shifts from food-time-pleasure to a somber one, «...That's quite a crowd you've invited... »

«Shit, they must have smelled the hot-dog! », now having ''successfully'' put the blame on something else, he stared outside. «I'll go feed 'em something else! », and he exited to play hero now that she was watching and since he couldn't run away any longer.

Unfazed, she squeezed ketchup on the food and shoved it all in her mouth, then followed outside. Despite the early hints at a large group of infected closing in, seems that it was already all over plus there weren't any bodies in sight. Weird, she did hear Carlos fire many bullets while screaming crazily...

She looked down and found him seated there, napping. Or was he. Valentine bent over to gather ammo, making her pixel knees and legs warp in an odd manner, seeming as if they were broken.

As she groped him, Carlos came to, «...What's wrong with your legs...?», then realizes she'd been taking his spare clips, «Wait, what are you doing?»

They stare as the woman slowly puts them back, «Thought you were dead, it's that olive skin tone of yours, makes you look like one of them. »

He still doesn't blink, «...You hoped I was dead, didn't you. »

«...Yeah. »

A distant crow croaked.

X++++++++X

Now Jill was in the cable car with Carlos hence met his nice welcoming teammates. After dismissing all the useless crap Nikolai had to say, the woman then nears Mikhail and looks him over, «That's a lot of strawberry jam, you could have shared. Damn cold-hearted Russian.»

Mikhail's lids sprung open as if she had poked him in his injury, «In Russia, you don't eat the strawberry; it eats you.»

Her eyes ignited, «One more Russian joke and a lot more jam will spill, I'm not fucking kidding. Test me.»

Have had enough of that shit from YT already. It's like everyone has to perpetually make the same jokes, similar to being shitty clones of each others... much like zombies.

Since this trolley was missing shit to be operational, much like Nikolai's brain; Jill would have to keep investigating further areas. Carlos kept burping the burgers so he decided he'd stay behind a bit, his tanned skin had in fact turned green much like his vest. Truth is prior to all the burgers, he had finished eating twenty seven or so burritos and tacos... Yeah.

So our stomach-filled happy woman wandered some more, found herself at the City's Power Station where she had to mess with electricity in order to get doors opened, locating a fuse inside one of the locked down tiny rooms. All that was left to find were cables and oil. Exiting the last room, she now realized that seven zombies had somehow amassed between the exit gate and her; and judging by how they shook the meshed door violently with profound hunger, smelling her burger breath from afar, they'd be devouring her and all her stomach content soon.

Incoming shitty choices: puke burger-filled gastric juices on them, or dislocate your left shoulder on the locked exit door.

However Jill wanted to see them burn on their way to Hell so she went back to the console, increased electricity output way high, grilling them all in a beautifully unified dance of pain; soon their heads all popped up one after another, a great finish to the macabre performance. The machine also fried and died. «Fuck I'm awesome. », now stepping over BBQ cadavers and puddle of dark blood.

Crispy. Tasty.

Upon exiting however she received a rocket in the face. Nothing a magical First Aid Spray couldn't fix. Getting up from the pile of garbage she had been blown towards, Valentine looked up and saw her dear pal on a rooftop, now even more gigantic up there with the full moon casting his shadow down on her.

Valentine taunted him, «Jump down and break a leg; I won't laugh! »

She would of course. His answer was to load another invisible rocket somehow, then fired it and while she dodged he came down to her level, completely destroying the skull of the corpse underneath his feet, which splashed open all over the asphalt like a mere fruit.

Then he roared like usual but also simultaneously said 'stars' twice: looks like he has another mouth hidden somewhere...

Jill aimed her rat-filled ammo at him, smirking, «Let's see how you handle this. »

Bullets transformed into rats, momentum sending the rodents towards the target... however they all stopped mid-way squealing in terror at the formidable foe, an aura of 'not-to-be-fucked-with' emanating from the tall guy; rats scurried away in a panic, not even halting to feast on nearby corpses.

Valentine dropped her arms, «...aw come on guys...! », then got surprised-slapped right into the brick wall behind her. Afterward she avoided the lefty, aimed and fired the rifle until he dropped near her feet again then kept firing at his head that just won't blow up, and him that just won't go to Infected Heaven like all the rest of them. Still, the badass got back up, a bullet damaging his aligned teeth and making one fly out.

They both stopped and stared, another grin creeping on her face and she couldn't contain her laughter, the image of him missing a tooth was too fine in this dangerous moment. Tyrant quickly put a stop to it though by grabbing her throat to squeeze hard; she directed her rifle between them and dug the nozzle on his abdomen then fired. He was forced off her and then soon enough, back with his face hitting the ground; dropping some useless dental floss.

«Tsk, ok, guess I deserve that shitty one. », and kicked it away, it collided with the red explosive box on the nearby wall which magnificently blew up along with a portion of the building.

«... Alright...», then saluted him, «Until next round. »

X++++++++X

Still searching for parts to boost the tram car, Jill ended up at Umbrella's Sales Office meeting up with Nikolai again. And he was busy getting rid of one useless UBCS, Valentine got there in time to see him shoot the younger guy in both eyes and then severed his limbs off; then turned the intruder's way after smelling the lingering appetizing odor of food on her.

«I had no choice, he was being a total dick and I can't stand those. »

«Opening a door wide open for me...»

He promptly waved to her, «Not now, I'm busy.», before crouching to the corpse with his laptop, started typing something.

Before she could bash his skull in however, the front door opened so Jill aimed that way, only to see tanned-dude walk in. When he saw the body he fell to his knees screaming, «MmmMmUuUURrrphyYYYYYyy NOOOOOOOO!», now blood being absorbed by his pants, he sobbed there right in front of the obliterated guy and Nikolai who hadn't reacted one bit.

Valentine decided she'd leave them to their business and went to check the second door leading to the Chemical Storage. At the end of the long hallway she found some oil additive to mix with the gas canister they had found at Stagla. She was on her way back out when glass broke in the other room followed by hordes of zombies pouring in; that's when that wild tune got triggered indicating that a party had started.

Seconds later the door slammed open hence the crowd swarmed in, Jill's eyes went to the right on the wall towards that one brittle valve she had suspiciously eyed a minute ago; Valtiel must have turned this thing one time too many for it to be in such condition... Well, she aimed and fired at it, then casually leaned on the wall behind her, watched the show as contaminated tried to walk past the leak only to get scorched to death. The smell wasn't pleasant but they fell one after another with zero effort.

Walking on the warm cadavers and exiting, she realized the two men were nowhere to be seen now. «Kind of them to leave all the fun to me. », no sarcasm, she did enjoy it; then proceeded to eliminate the rest of them flawlessly.

There, Murphy wouldn't be left alone here in death. Not that it fucking matters.

X++++++++X

On her way back to the dudes, Valentine had to run through that garage again where she had previously ripped live cables from a car. Now the ground was being shaken and eventually gave way under her; she managed to hold onto the edge and then emerged half-way up, only to stare vacantly as metallic boxes slowly slid her way from an opened van ahead. Staying there, two choices presented to her once more but she ignored them, only to wonder absentmindedly, «Hmm...those tremors are perhaps produced by the huge worms I once saw in that old movie...also called Tremor, actually.», her limp legs dangling through the hole, the containers inching closer, the useless choices blinking faster, «If so, then they will add to the overall fun! », dribble came down her chin as she imagined the possible-incoming enjoyment their presence implied: the thrill of the chase, the cartridges popping out one after another, having to reload fast while dodging—

Then reality caught up normal-speed and something solid hit her hard in the face, knocked her down the hole then broke her nose down there. Pushing the box aside, she walked away now seeing the cadaver of a worm which made her grin, saying suavely «Ohhh... yeahhh...», like Rocket Raccoon in The Guardians of The Galaxy...then something bit her in the ass followed by two more attacking her arm and face. They sucked blood and became red, all wasted once she turned the beating on them with her pistol. Blam blamblamBLAM!

Now through City Hall and closer to her objective, another earthquake occurred making the soil collapse under her, ended her ass underground in some sort of 'sewer' again. And this time, one of those subterranean worms showed up except this one is alive, and very much hungry. Valentine grabs her infinite Western Custom M37 shotgun she was supposed to only get near the end of the game thanks to Nemesis dropping the last gift item, «It's Worm Time baby. », reload-speeding it by making it revolve around her finger like a goddamn pro then laying it on top of her forearm to blast away.

The monster opened its mouth revealing four large fangs surrounding the hole lined with smaller ones within; it tried to grab her and got half her arm in but before it could truly bite she fired. Blasted its insides, releasing its prey only to wail loudly as Jill kept reloading and firing mercilessly.

Swift revolve-reload, blam! Swift revolve-reload BLAM! Repeat.

The worm twisted in pain then lay in its own bodily fluids, Valentine reloaded one last time and stared, a phrase rumbling in her throat that begged to come out, «Showed up in front of the wrong goddamn woman, did you, you bastard! », grinning...

Then a cement block from above detached and almost broke her neck.

X++++++++X

Valentine finally came back to the trolley driver's car and handed the objects to Carlos, who immediately stopped scratching his ass once she threw them at his face, «Here you go; Suckoids been taken care of!»

Upon realizing Oliveira didn't get the movie reference, she just sat on a bench then crossed arms to stare at him, noticing his now-brown knees, remnants of Murphy.

The mercenary proceeded to fix the machine, «By the way, I haven't seen Nikolai around after...the blood fest we weren't part of. Where could the cabrón be?»

Jill asked flat-toned «Do you honestly care, Carlos.»

«Just hoped you'd seen his mangled corpse somewhere...»

«Ok. And the bleeding-bucket on legs?»

«Still in the first compartment but much closer than Nikolai to becoming one.», he straightened up, «Fixed. That makes me a real man.»

«HA!», Mikhail's scoff came from beyond the door.

«Tsk.», the UBCS started the cable car and soon they were on their way towards the St. Michael Cock Tower.

Yes, you read that right.

After gaining momentum they silently drove a few minutes more, until a loud crash came from the first car as it also shook the driving cabin.

Oliveira didn't even bother glancing back, «Yup, that's your cue. »

Jill was already up and through the door; welcomed by her dear pal that hadn't showed up in a while. «UuUUuAaAAARRRGGHHH! STAARSSS!», now smiling amidst the tore up car.

«Nice seeing you too. »

She made a step forward when Mikhail stopped her with his arm, «My turn...», she saw the grenade in his hand, index ready through the safety pin. Jill was about protesting he'd blew them all up but what he said next made up her mind, «In Russia grenades-», and already back in the control cabin she was, not giving a single shit about the old man.

Carlos did look back when the door opened so soon, «Qué pasa, the fuck...?»

«Wait for it but hold onto your balls.»

A war cry like someone going mad and then BOOM! Jill was propelled forward right into Carlos though, which drove his face right in the controls, printing an L on his forehead. «Shit! The brakes are out!», he anxiously kept pulling on something that didn't look like the breaks at all.

Then choices arrived: tightly hold onto each other's asses while crying, or die together in brutal crash plus painful flames.

The man turned to his left, «Fuck it I'm outta here! », and jumped through the window, then cried 'nooo!' as if he had immediately regretted his action after receiving a vehicle in the face or something.

Jill remained there blinking a few times from the funny scene, then she punched the emergency brake's protective glass, engaging the mechanism which screeched loudly plus set nearby zombies aflame due to the fireworks. Cable car rammed into cars and such laid across the railways which eventually caused it to deviate from its track, then crashed at the base of the tower; jackpot. Hectic but better than having to do this all on foot while taking one hundred detours and exterminating everything in their path.

Coming out of the fuming carcass, our survivor stood outside looking up at the tall building; crows flew off the ground in packs, dropping feathers but due to the white pixel in-game it looked like they shat all over the place. Nice welcome.

The dark-green sky looked so nice with the moon behind clouds, too.

She'd have to delight in the view later once birds weren't savagely clawing away at her face though. Next it rained bullets. After decimating them, Valentine heard a familiar sound coming from the sky, making her heart jump from hope. Staring above, seconds later a chopper appeared close enough so she could feel the wind whipping at her.

«Finally... I hope they brought pizzas...», she smiled.

Then not too far from their position came another memorable noise, and her smile faded as she recognized it and the rocket flew past her; reached the helicopter to it blew up magnificently. Well I hope this wasn't the younger brother of Mike whose fate is bound to also make him blow up in similar fashion in RE4...

Valentine's sight locked unto the Tyrant, him staring down at the human, towering her from way higher this time; his perfectly aligned teeth departed and a filet of saliva slightly stretched through the opening, «...Uuuuarrrgghhhh...», not that usual loud roar but rather savoring the victory calmly...

Her jaw clenched as she glared, «...The PIZZAS you HEARTLESS awesome FREAK!», and without further ado, she ran inside the building, wanting to find Carlos fast and then get revenge for the brutal end of that dream her eager tongue couldn't savor, get home and get food.

Jill storms the building through the front door, giving into a big hall with a long stairway to the left and one door on each side a bit farther. A mercenary lays close to one pillar and upon investigating him, subtitles indicates that 'he died fighting'. Not so sure about that, he might have died crying for all I know.

The woman chooses to look into the door on the left first, ends up in a dining room with Carlos sulking within; as she suppresses flashbacks of that time with Burton, she thinks to herself, hope he doesn't go into brain-damaged mode like Barry...

She nears the mercenary, whom seems to have found a Playstation laying in a corner. He stares at the power button and says to her, «If we're gonna die then we should get to choose when it happens. »

The poor pizzas, and now this.

Valentine suddenly slapped him. Jill's smack is like a thousand upper-cuts at once; imagine what her upper-cuts are like…

Ungluing his face from the nearby wall, «OW! You almost unscrewed my head!»

«Did that also unscrewed your balls? »

He removed a portion of tapestry stuck to his skin, «No. »

«You'd want to put an end to this awesome party? If you want to quit then do so but don't ruin my fun. »

Oliveira frowned further, «Mierda, I told you the ladies go loca for my accent; you obviously lost it from all this time hearing my -», and one more slap knocked him unconscious, she left the delusional man there. Perhaps napping on the cold floor would cool him down a bit.

X++++++++X

Valentine investigated the second floor, got reunited with the same kind of spiders she had faced at the mansion; they also died as easily and burst open as grossly. She then ended up outside on a balcony, thankfully no crows were there to pick her to death... The woman was about to admire the sky again when something interrupted her; in the form of a slap behind the head.

A hard one.

Her neck cracked, she almost lost footing and then whipped around aiming her gun—

«Starsss...», he said lower than usual once more, twice as proud of himself now having surprised her that way too.

Monochrome choices appeared as the Nemesis took his sweet time closing in on her, relishing in his smooth victory: either keep admiring the sky, or the way the ground shakes with each of his stomping.

«NO fuck you! I'm done playing by your stupid rules!» and she turned the big projector on, rendering him blind, and while he shielded his face Jill dashed on the Tyrant to push him overboard. Thing is his feet got tangled in the cord, his weight as he stumbled backward unplugged it then landed on water; electrocuting them both simultaneously. They racked with spasm as both fell on the weak handrail, his massive body shattering it and she was sent overboard along with him.

Nemesis received all the damage from the fall though, so kind of him.

The electric current had short-circuited their brains, so they laid there unconscious, Jill on top of the Tyrant as if she was hugging him through a peaceful nap.

That's how Carlos found them one minute later, «...Hijo de culo, qué paso aquí...»

Yes I decided he could say 'son of an ass', I make my own original swears and rules.

He calmly stepped closer, poked the enemy with the barrel of his rifle; then grabbed Jill's arm to drag her to a safer place. Not that the minor load of the woman would have stopped Tyrant from breathing, but he must have felt his prey move away thus he woke up.

Carlos almost shat his trousers when he heard the suave groan behind his back, then watched as the enemy straightened up above them both, flames behind the Nemesis casting a tall shadow on the man's face as well. The monster lifted his arm as the mercenary hastily dropped Jill to lift his weapon; then a tentacle quickly struck the unconscious woman in the shoulder right before waves of bullets started to tickle the monster's skin.

«Uuagh, UuuaGGHHaAUAGghHuaugghhhauuUAUAUauGGGHhhhH! », as if he was laughing, and Oliveira kept pulling the trigger; until Nemesis lifted his bazooka then bullets ricocheting on it made it blow up: taking a portion of the creature's face plus shoulder along with it. Pissed, Tyrant swung his tentacle at Carlos's face and smacked him into the next dimension, «SHI—GARRGHH! », went flying over the short brick wall, breaking some ribs, then dropped face first into crow's feces. Nemesis being hurt, he held his side while stumbling towards the flames and walked right through it; because that would obviously help close those wounds.

Or just because he is a badass and won't/can't give a shit.

Oliveira winced, « Duele! Puto monstruo de mierda... », took a first aid can out of his left nipple then sprayed it all over his face and ribs for a good full minute. Coughing and blinking the gas away, he finally could get up and went over to Jill; her shoulder was purple plus veins were visible, still comatose.

Kneeling, he took the STARS' upper body in his arms, «Jill!», she didn't answer so he started shaking her violently, her cranium hitting the spare clips on his vest repeatedly, eventually her saliva was thrown everywhere plus landed on his face. Add that little touch to the dent left by the tentacle, the crow's feces...

The woman groaned, «...st-stop...you're only intensifying the throbbing headache, pendejo...»

«JILL ! I thought I'd have to cremate you before you turned!»

«...nice now wipe your face...» closed her eyes again.

Carlos picked her up to bring them to the chapel room he had seen earlier...not before slipping over some crow's feathers and ramming both their faces on some debris lying around.

Two minutes later, after retrieving bits of his ego off the ground, the mercenary walked through the chapel's door, knocking Jill's head on the doorframe. His footsteps muffled on the red carpet, he laid her on the altar.

She groaned, «I know he pierced my shoulder, doesn't hurt though...so why are my face and head sore?»

Oliveira feigned ignorance, «No se.», thinned his lips into a fine line of innocence.

Jill tried to stir but the man stopped her, «Don't give up Jill, I'll take care of you.»

She clutched both arms on her chest and rolled to her right side while bringing her knees closer to her belly, «But that's what bothers me...»

«...hm k...Fría, I'll just, go then...»

X++++Carlos Oliveira++++X

The UBCS had not wanted to leave infected-cop so helpless behind, but the first few seconds lost in her nightmare she had swiftly turned around and savagely slapped him, then as Carlos had tried touching her forehead to see if Jill had fever, she had then punched him in the face.

Conscious or not, he had then decided it'd be best to give her space.

So here he was on the second floor looking for stuff, had figured out the monster wouldn't come back so soon after inflicting that amount of damage. Plus if there's something that his blind Jesus-obsessed, mentally-ill people taught him about God: is that evil things can't enter churches. Since they say that, it must be true; therefore the wicked fucker wouldn't dare step inside the chapel.

Yeah, evil-proof as Hell. I mean, as...whatever.

((Truly though, if evil monsters can't enter churches: how come all the catholic-pedos were allowed in there? Shouldn't they have burned right away...? I guess destroying lives of innocent children is not evil nor a sin then!))

After obliterating over two hundred oversized spiders in the hallway plus stomping hordes of babies, he ended up in a smaller room with three paintings across the left wall; oh and also four identically-dressed women in the opposite corner, three of them feasting on the remaining one.

He leveled his M4A1, «Heyyy, ladiessss...», said he cockily, watching them as they drunk-like turned around towards the charming manly voice.

Yeah he just liked to imagine that as the reason, instead of their actual attraction to his non-rotten flesh.

All in choir they lifted their feeble bones and moaned in anticipation then he expertly scored three headshots in a row. They all fell limp to the floor in unison again, adding to the comic effect of the scene.

He eyed the devoured victim to make sure she wouldn't be revived by his ''enticing male pheromones'', then shifted to look at the paintings. Three females were depicted; the one to the left was a kid playing with a severed head as if it was a soccer ball. The second in the middle was a teenager licking someone's detached head, and the last to the right was a sexy-dressed skeleton holding a similarly brutalized cranium on a silver plateau.

I think there is a recurring theme here...

Oliveira blinked in wondering, «...Meh, puzzles aren't my forte anyway. Adiós.», decided to leave the creepiness as they were rather than mess with them in case, you know, he ended up decapitated. To the back of the room was another door but for some fucking reason, a huge golden bell stood in the way. But since he is a dude and all that stereotypical bullshit, then all he had to do was look at it thus the bell moved the fuck away on its own; it just magically glided over the floor and even deepened in the closest wall from fearing his masculinity. Carlos just walked by, snorted, then was out.

He ended up outside this time, with bits of fresh rain now falling on his dirty skin; it just sucked that it couldn't remove the overall stench lingering all over the city. A couple of zombies had also been enjoying it until the man's flesh ended up number one on their priority list; well for the mercenary so did the barrel located near them. A nice show followed, warmth, parts flying skyward and around; kaboom baby.

The UBCS then didn't bother verifying the door or the staircase to his right; anyway both were on fire right now so fuck it. Instead he ran towards the hospital he could see not far from his position. Maybe I can find a couple of syringes in there, para la fiesta. Oh and perhaps to help Jill too...if she doesn't unscrew my head first.

When he opened the double doors, he saw that hell had broke loose here too, but he met new friends as well. Hunters had decided to party hard here and anyone who came uninvited were welcomed with immediate death; as depicted when one of the reptile jumped-beheaded a wandering zombie.

«Carajo, enough with the head-chopping already...! », aimed and fired before the monster could repeat the attack on him now. The scream of the B.O.W. echoed in the stillness, the first one of many more to come. Suddenly Carlos got reminded to reload, ejected the empty clip and shoved a new one in there promptly. He didn't have any Memory Card/Ink Ribbon on him, you see.

Investigating the other rooms, he located a handheld tape recorder machine, didn't bother with until he realised he needed it to open the electronically locked elevator. The sensor worked via voice data and so Carlos pressed Play in front of the receptor; apparently whoever had this forgot to turn it off while he emptied his bladder. The awkward piss-tune played for four seconds before the mechanism unlocked, Oliveira pressed Stop, «...can't believe that fucking worked...»

His grin immediately replaced by O_O as the doors spread open revealing ten famished zombies in there; food-dressed-as-human got grabbed avidly, pushing them aside would have no effect so he just shot them all to Putrid Hell at point blank. The noises of the riffle mixed with many groans filled the room for a couple of seconds; then the stench of iron, dejections and rotted flesh made Carlos puke all over their shredded cadavers.

Next he had to remove them from there, body parts by body parts; else the doors wouldn't close due to a bunch of limbs being in the way. Not so glorious, that. The ride toward the basement level was made with the nozzle pointed at the doors this time. When the 'ding!' resonated he tensed up; but then nothing happened. «...FUCKING life toying with me man! »

Triggering a duo of Hunters nearby who were on lunch break, they dashed his way and swept the air of their claws, scratching the metal doors as Oliveira dodged that fatal blow, dove-rolled then aimed at their faces which calmed them down for good this time. «Cálmate y está tranquilo....There's nothing to worry about; they're just like dumb huge frogs with claws that can ruthlessly fucking kill me rapidly in just one excruciating sweep. Two, I can handle; let's just hope there won't be twelve of them at once next. Sweet babeh gezzuz, por favor let them not attack in bigger groups. », gripping his weapon firmly.

Should have brought a Memory Card bro.

His butt cheeks tight, the man searched the remaining rooms, small areas with nothing interesting; beds, tiny TVs, bedside desks... oh and, electric flooring. Yup. He found out accidentally after a zombie, which pretended to be dead, clever one!, had caught his ankle and thought his decaying teeth would be enough to tear through the tough material. Well Carlos tried to avoid the bite while head butting the guy only to lose balance, stumbled backward right into one of those desks which pushed it aside so he landed on the square-part that electrocuted his ass.

Took him a couple of minutes trying to get up, seeing the current was impeding his nerves to send the proper feedback to his brain to maneuver a certain way instead of staying there getting grilled...after groaning in pain and foaming a lot, he eventually peed so it fried the plate and got freed from torment. In his shit luck he got fortunate enough the rounds on him didn't start popping, else that would have been some shredding-fireworks indeed.

For a goddamn hospital, this place sure as fuck wasn't secure.

Before leaving the accursed room, he noticed a small safe inside the wall, he didn't have the combination but decided to fumble with the wheel anyway. Carlos was half-expecting it to contain a severed limb of some kind since that seemed to happen a shit-ton since he set foot in this goddamn Hell. Absentmindedly turning the wheel, it just so happened to unlock. «...no way...HA!», he swung the door open, only to slam it back shut, then walked out with heavy steps.

Well, imagine having good luck enough to accidentally guess the combination of a random safe; being all happy, tons of cool things scrolling in your mind as to what it could be, starting to believe you may not have such a shit luck after all so you may not die here like everyone else, only to see it fucking empty.

Yeah. Hope, expectations and balls busted all so incredibly fast and efficiently.

Now thinking he'd like a pack of boosted reptiles to show up so he'd unload his frustration on them, Oliveira opened another door and got reunited with Nikolai. That'll do. Carlos had heard the man finish a sentence and was about storming the prick with his pint-up rage, when suddenly someone screamed «Don't shoot I have candies-NOOO!» followed by a shitty pistol sound. It felt like the two men were acting out a lame scene that neither of them took seriously.

Carlos turned the corner, white-haired prick had his back turned at him and was facing a black guy; but instead of asking what the fuck Nikolai had just done or at least aim at the Russian and ask the other man if he was alright, Oliveira's balls just dropped to the floor so he asked something fucking obvious, «Nikolai? You're still alive?...wait, what...?»

The man half turned his way, «Did you see what happened? Because I think cowardly shooting a cornered man in the stomach makes me a total manly badass: just like I spinelessly back-stabbed every other member on the team. I have big balls: that's really all you need to know.», then lifted his pistol on Carlos.

The black guy, whose name we didn't even fucking get to know but he's already dying; took grenades out of his ass crack while lunging at Nikolai, «FUCK THIS GUY!», propelling them both through the nearby window and they blew up together on their way down. Well instead of making sure the lying asshole truly had died this time, or if the nameless poor dude had survived, Oliveira just resumed his investigating with no care in the world.

CAPCOM that's twice now that you give zero screen-time to black guys; wazzup with dat? First Kenneth J. Sullivan in RE1 and now this guy?

At least they got plenty screen-time in RE5.

Re-wait, what...

They tried to atone for it in RE3 remake though, right?... by having him die so atrociously.

Okay I'm outta here. Everyone getting shot at and brutally murdered in the games were white people anyway, give it a rest.

The remaining mercenary in the building located the last room, last but not least; test tubes everywhere with sleep-induced Hunters floating happily within, having good dreams. You don't want to trigger them and piss them off, do you Carlosssssss.

He slowly walked among them, eyeing their faces making sure they were all dormant. «Seems like a single fart could wake them up though...», feeling the tension in the air. Near the end of the room stood another piece of big machinery, and even if the man wasn't a scientist he realized it was the key to leaving with a vaccine; if he could adjust the fucking thing correctly though.

So he did try, glancing over his shoulder every now and then during the process.

Successfully adjusting the pressure properly created the vaccine then released the tiny cylinder, the purple liquid glowing inside like the Holy Grail; figuratively speaking. Nervously licking his lips, fearing to trigger an apocalypse if he ever touched it; Carlos reached in and removed the cylinder from its slot and immediately whipped around aiming at the first tube.

Everything remained still and silent as his heartbeat boomed in his head.

He sighed, «Aawwighty then, tranquilamente...», slid the vaccine in his chest pocket THEN all tubes violently burst simultaneously, « FUCK IT ALL TO HELL! », ensued countless dodging and firing while trying not to slip on chemicals or broken glass, ears bleeding from mad war cry and detonations alike.

He had wanted a fiesta, so...

Minutes later it was all over, blood and broken stuff everywhere; Carlos was still in one piece. Then he savagely stomped the closest one multiple times while cursing in Spanish, similar to Isaac in Dead Space. Done and panting, he replaced his greasy hair then walked out.

On the wall to his right the mercenary then noticed something that he must have overlooked on his way inside earlier, because his focus had been thrown out the window along with the two men maybe; one of those red flammable container.

«...where were you when I needed you...»

Then exiting the elevator, doors opened on three Hunters. «FU-»

And then on his way out, saw that a timer mounted on Semtex had been set, most likely by ass-sucking Nikolai who had still managed to escape Due-Death. «FOR FUCK-», and sprint he did, managed to put some distance between incoming-demise and him until his ass got lifted off the ground by the deflagration.

When he penetrated back inside the Cock Tower, his shit-luck struck once more; the wall on the second floor above the wide stairway shattered to pieces and Tyrant tore through accompanied by his personal Funeral Song, landing right behind Carlos, «Ay Dios mío goddamn!»

The upper portion of Nemesis' outfit had burned away, no shit I wonder why; and now his tentacles were free to move around his back, accentuating his inhumane nature. Only his leather pants remained, giving him quite a sexy allure and butt; what do you know, Tyrant could adapt to different situations in more ways than one. Good plan, buddy.

The Executioner faced the mercenary then took his usual Amma Gonna Kill Ya pose, yelling at the top of his lungs. Looks like he has had a nice reinvigorating meal after their last fight to heal all the nasty tickles the human had granted him with. Monster's right arm was now surrounded by four purple appendages, including the one that came through his palm. With determined steps, he then locked unto the ant standing in between his goal and him.

Well Carlos didn't need more incentive and pulled the trigger hard; still the lunged tentacle hit him right in the face and sent him flying in the wall. The UBCS had a brief thought about the vaccine in his pocket but was confident enough his rock-hard manly chest would provide adequate protection for the vial.

The creature prepared for another strike despite bullets piercing his skin, meanwhile the mercenary vaguely wondered when was the last time he switched clips.… B.O.W. somewhat slowed in his track, mouthing his usual «Uarghuargh!-», Tyrant endured fifteen seconds of this boring crap and then decided to move on, turned his back at the puny man and walked through the door. No goodbye, no nothing.

Oliveira relaxed his index and as the last rounds clattered on the ceramic, he also felt his ego deflate and scatter in a similar way… What kind of monster just walks out on someone out of boredom…..?

Nemesas, dude, the one and only.

Not wanting to dwell on this incident for two hours, Carlos then walked through the door...only to have the nightmare repeat all over again because Nemesis didn't take kindly to being followed; HE did the stalking. Purple limb grabbed his neck then rammed him on the wooden table, breaking it; and possibly his spine along with the material. Also the candlesticks fell on his hair which burst aflame.

Getting the hint, the sore man remained motionless and let the angry rock star leave alone; hair burning and all.

Now gone, Carlos slapped plants on his head and spine. Good thing chica is in the chapel...should have spread salt near the door though...or spices, don't remember which.

X++++C.O.++++X

So, Tanned-Bro had survived happy trigger-time dodge-your-ass-out-of-this-mess festivities with the Hunters at the hospital, also escaped with both legs intact from the blast, and another Piss Contest with Tall Mutated freak show; now he gave sleeping beauty a shot thus she awoke.

Probably because he had pricked her several times, unsuccessful into finding a goddamn vein; forcing her awake from all the unwanted painful probing rather than physical relief from the vaccine.

The UBCS sighed, «Finally, been unconscious for three days; was starting to worry I'd have to eat you-you didn't hear that. »

Jill sat up, « Three days? What the hell have you occupied yourself with during all that time...!? »

«There's an annoying puzzle up there with three clocks on paintings; finally solved the damn thing this morning. Had nothing left to do but that unsafe puzzle-up-my-ass...Thought it was driving me insane after the first day, but nope, I managed perfectly fine after all, on the third day. », his right lid twitched.

She stared, «...»

«...yeah. Oh and Nikoshit is still not dead, so is your dear mutated companion; seriously those tentacles scares the shit outta me, can't be sanitary. Also he is probably waiting to kill us in the next room, perhaps playing the piano-»

«What the fuck will it take for that Russian piece of shit to die!? »

«Heh, that guy doesn't know the meaning of the word dead. »

«Pretty sure he does since he speaks English; Tyrant, on the other hand...», she jumped on her feet, «Next time I cross path with Nikoshit, I'll set my precious rats on his ass.»

The man was going to ask what the fuck she was talking about; when they both ended up staring at each other. She lost some of the tension in her shoulders, while he gained some in his abdomen. Five seconds passed with them like this, and Carlos felt like something might finally happen. He was ready for some sweet-warm action; she lifted her right hand... and pointed to his face, «You got shit all over; like, a lot. »

Oliveira recalled he had removed none of the crow's feces, or blood from his trip at the hospital, even her dried-up saliva from when he was shaking her unconscious was still there somewhere.

She tapped his left shoulder twice and then was gone.

X++++++++X

Half-expecting her unwilling boyfriend to be seated at the piano, Jill ran through the door and aimed her grenade launcher; only to find the room empty. Bit disappointed but knowing the Nemesas was never really far behind on her ass, she just continued onward wondering if he had died somewhere in a dark corner.

Pff ha, just like back then when I thought the same about Wesker—the door she was facing blew right in her face then hit her a second time on their way down. The force of nature responsible for this immediately darted in while roaring, running with both hands half-backward similar to a ninja-run, then also just flicked the destroyed door away as easily, revealing his new style.

Jill snapped her broken nose in place, and then saw him shirtless.

«I see the flames helped fire you up-»

A tentacle whipped around her ankle and swiftly pulled her at his feet, from there staring down at her, the wall of teeth departed, «Sssstaaarrrssssss...», a few droplets landed on her leg.

«Salivating are we. Feeling's mutual!», not bothering to get up she fired the Freeze round that was in the HK-p barrel: the powerful liquid nitrogen frost-bit, dug and burned his skin all at once, making him step back a bit every two shots... until he started dodging like a smug sonuva—Valentine rolled out of the way, avoiding another fast limb, they were undulating slowly behind his back like serpents awaiting to strike. Putting some distance between them as he avoided the rounds, she hastily reloaded and then fired once more; the psshh noise from the nitrogen always followed by his groans...until he fell on one knee and stayed there, head cast downward, as if this was his faster new way to replenish.

Tentacles waved slowly behind, awaiting input from the brain.

Then with one grunt, he got up to resume the wrestling; and Jill pumped more rounds in his face then in the weapon in turn. The next maneuver came too short in time so she got mercilessly slapped to the side, then he pulled her closer again but still didn't follow up with another attack.

Valentine rolled out of the way once more, «At some point you'll have to stop playing with your prey, pal. », just like she knew his demise by her hand was getting closer.

His only answer was to roar loudly, as if laughing in his own way. Rage or laughter, the six remaining freeze rounds dropped him chest-first again for good; the only indicating he'd get up later were the limbs which remained erect diagonally instead of limp at his sides.

«Nap time sugar. »

Apparently Carlos have had no intention to join them in the fun since he still had not come out; his loss.

The satisfied woman left the now-useless Cock Tower to wander around the premises. Following through Oliveira's footsteps she didn't have much to do now, and when she saw the blown up hospital that had left quite a mountain of wreckage barring the way, subtitles told her that 'there was a hospital here, but it's gone now'.

A certain James Sunderland appeared out of nowhere, «Might I add: there was a hole here, but it's gone now.»

Jill aimed, «Shit, almost shot you in the face.«, still didn't lower her weapon though... «Where'd you come from?»

«Don't mind me, I'm not sane anyway.», and he sat on the asphalt to stare at the rubles, now his ass wet due to some gas leaking from a nearby car.

Valentine decided to follow his advice, plus something about his ghostly dead-white skin and haggard features told her to. A few meters away she heard him yell «MARY WHHHYYYYYYY!? », his voice cracking under utter sadness and psychosis.

Three seconds later, that was followed by another explosion. Kids, don't soak your ass in any flammable liquid that is within reach of any source of fire.

Or do so but don't endanger others, just blow your own ass up.

At some point Jill went down a stairway and was about to cross a tiny pond in the shape of an L, surrounded by calm water, even if the liquid was toxic-green and glowing. For the time being what caught her attention was the fluffy white dog chained to the nearby lamp post at the entrance. The female kind of looked like a wolf; was some sort of joke that this dog had not been killed considering all the ceaseless violence around, and she'd been there all this time, fully available for easy-slaughter. Valentine and the canine stared for a few more seconds, and then she started to pant with her mouth open. The state of her breath indicated that she did not chew on anything previously-alive that would now be rotting inside of her, indicating she was normal enough.

Jill picked up her combat knife and cut the cord to set the dog free; before leaving, the canine promptly barked once as a 'thank you', then left through the trees nearby.

Off to a crappy village in Spain you go...to save Leon's ass later in RE4.

Now resuming her calm crossing of the pond, avoiding missing planks here and there, admiring the creepy statues set around it and the way the water really looked weird. «Seriously, why is it so damn green?...The lamps poking out of the water are clearly white.»

Best left unknown. When she left, something bubbled up to the surface and floated there. Also a bright-red balloon with 'I Derry' on it might have been seen unnaturally floating toward the sky.

Now crossing a tiny path through small trees, like some kind of park; it was all quiet and relaxing as a fine rain fell all around, creating soft noises on the leaves and soil. A few steps ahead later, her left arm got chopped off out of nowhere; now looking down at it, «...oh...», then swiftly jumped to the side avoiding the Hunter that had managed to sneak up on her from the bushes. Good job buddy but first and last time; BOOM went its skull and brain all over the peaceful path.

The smell of iron attracted two more and they were then equally dealt with. Jill shoved the nozzle of a first aid spray through her wound and moved on. Hopefully it had grown back by the time she needed to descend a ladder, which led her underground again only to be reunited with those blood-sucking tiny worms that attach to you. They came from above and landed with a wet sound, she shot the first two, and then three more. After one full minute of firing them to oblivion, she realized they kept coming; but that's okay since her Western Custom M37 had infinite ammo too, remember.

The tiny tunnel filled with a mix of gunpowder and iron, plus the noises of the constant firing resonating within. They landed, got shot and contorted in pain then the bodies disappeared mysteriously, and new ones would arrive; repeat. After four minutes though she got tired of this, and frankly her eardrums had perforated thus now bled on her neck.

Up the second red ladder and now crossing a small cemetery, Valentine had to shoot some living dead that came out of the soil to greet her. Eyeing the tombstones she saw one bearing the name of Mary Sunderland, and then at the back one named Nicholas with an open casket, «...Close enough. »

The path brought her to a wooden cabin and there was the white-haired, nipple-twister seated and drinking Vodka; which he spat in surprise when she stepped in.

«Oh, speaking of which; I saw something outside that belongs to you, all that's missing is your freakin' corpse in it.»

«I'm quite impressed you managed to stay alive up until now.»

«Feeling's not mutual.», she swept her special weapon from under her beret, «Rat-time, fucker.», and pulled the trigger. A swarm of rodents jumped on him and started feasting right away, his screams of pain filled the hut; he couldn't even slap at them or anything since there was too many plus they were so violent, within seven seconds he had stopped yelling and then another ten seconds later nothing was left of the moron.

Next the rats turned on themselves because they're nasty little crazies, until the cabin was left silent with tiny bits remaining among the blood. Grinning, finally some good news to report to Carlos. Pretty sure he'd also like swigs from this Vodka, our victor picked the bottle up but when Jill neared her face she smelled vinegar. «...he, was drinking vinegar...?...»

Looks like Nikoshit had more than just one issue. «But that's all over now isn't it. », then the entire cabin and earth was shook with much bigger tremors, «This has just started though. » Still armed with her rat-gun, Valentine dashed outside but didn't manage to leave the graveyard as the ground shook once more, tore apart only to reveal a huge freakin' worm this time. It blew away tombstones and trees alike, elevating itself above all else then opened its mouth to shriek.

Reeked like a cemetery in there as well.

And then the cut-scene ended and Jill realized it wasn't as big as they meant it to look like, only the same size at the last one she had killed. «They bullshited me with false hope! », the worm crawled her way but the rats were much faster; the woman laid on a nearby lamp post to watch the massacre, listening to the mixed sounds of victim and attackers while still enjoying the gentle rain on her. Once over, she sighed, «Well, so much for that.», back to the park's entrance to investigate the remaining gate.

Valentine now faced a chasm leading to the Dead Factory up ahead, the only thing connecting the two was a shitty suspended bridge.

She glanced at the poor condition it was in and wondered how it could sustain her weight since it seemed barely capable to hold its own. Something heavy dropped behind her so she whipped around in time to see a tentacle come her way, and then another; dodging them backed her unto the bridge of course. Then Tyrant decided he also wanted to test the feeble bridge by using one appendage to balance himself behind her, it's a miracle the rotted wood didn't break right then as he landed on the planks.

«You want to send us both down is that it? »

Choices: tickle him into submission, or let him tickle you to death.

«...what the hell...», well she had already gone down once with him, so... she grabbed a flying appendage, jumped over, her momentum pulling him along with her and they fell into the water. The strong current pushed them away, Nemesis was roaring and she grabbed unto him, feeling him trying to swim with his limbs plus tentacles. They were closing in on a rock so she kicked herself off him to grab unto it, then stared as he got pulled further until he disappeared, «sSSSsstttTTtAaAAaArrRRrrssSssssss...»

Chuckling, she got up and entered the aqueduct to her right.

Above the river, a crow softly landed on the bridge which broke and entirely collapsed into ashes this time.

Jill wrinkled her nose at the dirty water she had now stepped into, knee-high, «Does it ever not fucking stink in Raccoon anymore...», when twenty zombies leveled from the murky liquid, so happy she stopped by...Too many, too close, gonna die- when someone else started shooting at them all, a choir of zombie moans plus rratatatatataaa! echoed in the tunnel for a few seconds; when the last one dropped dead, revealing the hero behind the putrid crowd.

«Carlos! I would've been done for again, thanks.»

He scratched his forehead with his left thumb, «Yeah, um, sorry about that...», he motioned towards the many bullet holes in her body.

«It's cool.», pushed a couple of medicinal leaves inside the holes for them to close up, but for now they just poked out of her funnily. «Good fucking news, the last Russian in Raccoon has finally been eradicated from the map at long last.»

«Hell yeah.», then he glanced over her as if he was looking for something, «Wait, where's his Vodka, didn't you search his body afterward?»

«Made the same mistake Carlos, he only had vinegar.»

Oliveira frowned severely so she added, «Yeah I know, hard to belie-» then approached her to sniff her breath, but all he could smell was the overall stench of the dirty water and the cadavers surrounding them, «No way, you kept it for yourself.»

«Look, I don't want to argue with you, especially not here while all kinds of unspecified shit are floating around our legs plus wondering when the Tyrant will swing back here to slap our faces into bloody chunks. Let's relocate first.»

They moved over a ledge, ended up in a tiny control room of sort; they both simultaneously noticed the burger left on the table... judging by the decrepit state of it, not even a zombie would want that moldy crap.

Oliveira shook his head, «I'm not that desperate. »

«Yeah, I'm good.»

Then the man paused both palms on the table, head sinking in between shoulders, «Listen, we are fucked; and not in a good way. I was fumbling around with a com radio, wanted to hear some Slipknot music; but then I picked up on a message that warned any survivors that the president ordered to launch a nuclear missile to destroy Raccoon Anus. So by dawn everything will be totally, truly dead this time.»

Jill reloaded her grenade launcher with fire rounds, face and voice neutral as fuck, «Let's get this party started then.»

«Well, this place is named the Dead Factory after all.»

Valentine entered into out-of-bound knowledge, «Actually that's wrongly translated from the Japanese name 'disused plant'. In fact this place should be named Incineration Disposal Plant P-12A, a waste-processing facility.»

«...Alright...»

Then they were off to kick asses, now advancing in a metallic hallway, until a shit realization dawned on them; they avoided bullets and took cover, then, «You're still wandering around?»

Valentine made a sour face, «Nikoshit? Why are you always saying the sentences we should be telling you ?»

Carlos clicked his tongue, «I thought you said you killed the fucker?», grabbed a frag grenade from his utility belt.

«I did, watched him get devoured and liked it; asshole must have a goddamn Memory Card tucked in his ass-crack.»

The Russian poked his head out from the bend, «I can hear you, you know!», doing that he lost one ear to a bullet- «Dammit!»

Jill kept aim, «Hearing and understanding the words that are being said are two different concepts, moron.»

Then Oliveira decided to speak Spanish so Nikoshit wouldn't understand his brilliantly-devised plan. As he spoke fast, focused; the woman slowly turned her head his way while not blinking.

«[...], lista? »

«Didn't understand a word of that; I don't speak French how could I understand Spanish...?»

«Err-»

Nikolai's annoyed voice arose above the other man's, «I'm still here you know?»

Oliveira abruptly shouted, «Yeah WHY are you!? », increasingly annoyed. He was hot, sweaty and stinky, hungry (yeah still), and wanted to have some goddamn tacos and burritos already. That pain in the ass was just about being the one last itch Carlos could take before losing his patience, in fact he knew Jill was also just about to blindly rage-run to the idiot to shoot him too.

The duo didn't have to do anything though as for the next thing that happened fixed this shit, came as a blessing too; the hallway filled up with the Russian's cries of suffering as the other two heard things being ripped apart, wet sounds and bones breaking, and then total silence.

Both glanced at each other before sprinting over there, aimed; there was a puddle of blood on the floor with bits of Nikoshit, a hole in the metal ceiling, burst pipes, and a severed head was all that could be seen up there.

However Oliveira didn't lower his weapon, «Better his than mine...still, this place has a serious issue with severed heads...»

Jill glanced his way, «Ohh I'm sure there can never be too much of that.»

«Never mind, the prick's dead. Seems like your persistent boyfriend also wanted the nuisance gone; meaning I'm next on the list and that idea doesn't turn me on, comprendes?»

Leaving the beheaded imbecile to his fate, they went through the thick electronic door ahead of them but both recoiled as if they had been hit in the face; the stench here was dense as hell hence made them want to puke.

They both covered their mouths as a reflex even though it wouldn't help, «Ay shit...hell you were right about this place.»

«Well I was hungry...», she also swept the area with her barrel.

Square room filled head-high with corpses, left and right sides had cylinders mounted on the walls; in the middle of the room you could see dents like metal teeth. Jill motioned towards it, «Looks like the floor opens up, must be a dissolving pool underneath. And the canisters on the walls are probably filled with acids »

«That would make up one nasty soup.»

Then from the far end of the room, revealing itself behind a hill of cadavers, came Nemesis.

They both aimed and Carlos said, «Ok that guy definitely doesn't have a sense of smell if he was waiting to ambush us in here.»

Tyrant's mouth had always been closed during in-game encounters; but now it was open. Still smiling, just like everything at the mansion... «It's me he wants.»

«Why, I'm not handsome enough?», he wiped some sweat from his upper lip.

She glanced over the acid tubes, thinking how to lure the monster their way to inflict enough damage before using the switch to flush his ass down the drain, «Might be able to get rid of him this time with the acid, you should go.»

«Ok he's approaching us slowly but not that slow; can't keep talking need to act!» and he removed a M66 Rocket Launcher from his pants, «Think he can chew on this? », now armed with a shoulder-mounted, four-chambered rocket kick-ass weapon.

O.o «When did you get that?!»

«Hey, I'm full of surprises...!», and woooshh went a rocket, and then a second, plus the two remaining as Carlos didn't even wait to see if the Tyrant was still standing or not after the first blast. When he lowered it and the fumes dissipated, they saw the monster vacillate on his feet, then a weird noise came from his wide open wind pipe as the head rolled off to the floor.

Valentine's mouth was also wide open now, «...no way... you did it. That relentless maniac is actually dead...?...but, he didn't explode-»

«Let's go, I saw a helipad on my way here; lucky for us I know how to pilot a helicopter.»

They activated the flushing mechanism on their way out, a siren blared for a few seconds and then the ground separated; Tyrant's body slid down along with everything else.

Headless Nemesis going in for a swim.

X+++++++X

Both left together for the helipad, on their way they saw remnants of good-old Mr. X here and there, bald and clothed with his typical green long coat, AKA his power limiter, plus superfluous hip-pouch; surely they were approaching a test chamber that had been used to gather combat data.

Carlos kept running even though he wanted to know, «What are those things...?»

Jill triggered the double doors to open then proceeded to fourth-wall break reality once more, «Leon and Claire knows, and trust me it's better that they are non-operational.»

That didn't help, «...and who the hell are those two...?»

«According to the timeline, they have arrived the 29th and managed to escape yesterday the 30th; so today the 1st of October is us.»

That, just made it worse, «...you creep me out when you do that...»

The next room was big and high, T-00 canisters lay in some corners, (or T-103 depending on which Mr. X you're reading about...latter having been mass-produced. Not talking about T-02 inRE1, and T-01 for Proto Tyrant in RE0), an additional one lay coatless plus two more clothed near the huge canon, walls all wrecked and stuff. Further to the right stood a large experimental rail canon and its three large batteries, the Demon Sword of Paracelsus.

((Thank that site for additional awesome info I never knew despite having played those games over 100 times.))

Before they could comment on it all, something cold plus gelatinous dripped on Carlos' head and face, «what th-», he moved aside as they both looked up, Nemesis' dip in viral-filled chemicals had only helped him mutate further...

He dropped down, now an inhuman shape with three limbs but then pieces of flesh were discarded as new features erupted to the surface, blood spurting. Amidst wet tissue sounds and cartilage breaking, shifting; he grew another long leg but deformed as well, a large long mouth and two tentacles. Next, the creature executed a back flip to face them before screaming, unlike the Tyrant due to now being closer to a more primal state than ever before.

Its program having been wiped from its memory due to the brutal wounds inflected on him mixed with the visit into a dissolving pool, now forced into the basic Tyrant-behavior like the rest of its variants, ready to annihilate anything it'd see.

Three tentacles were coming out of its back, the brain was also visible, all that surrounded by six large bent bones. A medium-sized bubble was close to its 'head' along with smaller ones on its body; when shot they'd burst and release some sort of fluids.

Oliveira didn't even bother, «Get to the choppa! »

By the time the monster would reach the door they were running towards, they'd be gone and the town would entirely blow up anyway. So they sprinted off view thus the mutant squealed; this could be interpreted as ''wait—what...?''.

Off the elevator and unto the helipad, the duo sped towards the chopper but then altered once seeing someone was in there already. No, not Nikoshit, he's truly dead this time. Jill recognized the ginger beard but predominantly the mass of fucking muscles the guy was stuck in, «Burry? What the hell are you doing here?»

Seeing them run towards him he had already turned the engine on, so now his sentence went unnoticed. They sat and put the headphones on while it took off, abandoning the ex-tyrant to its own shitty fate.

He won't get stars. However I'll get my stars rating for finishing the game under two hours.

So long buddy, it's been so damn entertaining.

Burton reiterated his earlier sentence but now felt less cool for having to repeat himself, «Couldn't let you die.»

Valentine frowned, «The hell happened to your voice? You sound as if you're struggling to hold your ass really tight for some reason.»

He cleared his throat, «Better now?»

«Yeah, got to leave fast before we get Judgment Day along with this entire town. »

Carlos glanced at them quickly, «Keep doing that thing where you pretend I don't exist.», hoping that guy wasn't with the police.

Then Valentine thought to ask how his family were doing, «Hey I know we've all been on the run for a while, so how's your daughters-», then Barry maneuvered wrong on purpose, making the helicopter go through some turbulence as Jill went 'wwAaAAhh!'; cutting short to the conversation just as he had wanted.

You'd know the details about this inside joke too if you have read my RE1 parody….

And then appeared the thermobaric missile, sped right next to them rather than into them, fortunately. Shortly followed by a scene worthy of that Judgment Day from T2 as shit burned from the air blast and then exploded entirely, which also triggered the movie theme song.

Presently they were left flying off with that cool ending behind them; much better than the repeated cheesy endings of a chopper leaving towards a bright sunny sky along a heartwarming cheesy song from most RE games.

---

Author Note: hope you had has much fun reading this than I did writing it. I also have humorous videos on the various RE games (and others), investigate my different folders. You can search on YT for my channel, since links can't be pasted here; just type Focused Fighter and you'll see the white round logo with two guns in, represented by two upside-down Fs.

Enjoy.