(25/9/2018)

CHAPTER 42

Recap …

Jack sat on his bed in the room, straining his ears to hear the conversation. He could hear Elizabeth's voice. At first it had begun softly as she spoke to his mother but once Frank arrived he could hear her anger building.

Jack knew he was causing her so much pain but the alternative was worse. This was emotional pain but the physical pain he could potentially cause could be worse. Couldn't it? Right now he wasn't so sure.

Continued …

Frank and Dr Shepherd went into Jack's room to talk to him and welcomed Charlotte and Elizabeth to come and hear what they had to say. Charlotte stood by Jack's bedside but Elizabeth already felt like she wasn't welcome in the room anymore.

She stood by the door, feeling like she was eavesdropping on a private conversation. The waves of sadness and anger kept crashing over her as she listened to the conversation that involved her the most besides Jack, yet she had no input in.

Frank, Carson and Jack spoke about what the best course of action would be, removing Jack from the family home as per his wishes, finding him suitable accommodation and what would happen from that point onwards.

Elizabeth stood there listening but after ten minutes when none of the people in the room considered her opinion or presence to be of value, she turned and walked away.

Jack had been concentrating on Frank and Carson. He knew Elizabeth was standing there listening but when Frank turned to ask her a question and all of them realised that she was no longer in the room, Jack saw the worried looks pass between Frank and Charlotte.

"She probably just stepped outside. It's been a lot to take in. I will go get her."

Charlotte disappeared for a moment. Frank and Carson picked up the conversation but when Charlotte came back five minutes later and whispered something to them, Jack was more concerned about Elizabeth.

"Where is she?" Jack asked.

"Um … she had to go" Charlotte answered uncertainly.

"Go where?"

"Jack. She's really struggling with all of this. She'll come back."

Elizabeth didn't come back.

Two days later, Jack left hospital with Frank. He hadn't seen Elizabeth since that morning when she slipped out the door.

"Where's Elizabeth?"

"She's probably at work."

Jack accepted that explanation and didn't ask anything further.

Jack was walking across the courtyard when he looked up to see Elizabeth in front of him. It had been almost two weeks since he had last seen her. She didn't see him as she was looking in the other direction just as a man greeted her and the two hugged each other closely.

Jack just stared.

He couldn't see what they were saying but they appeared close. The man put his hand on her arm and Jack could see Elizabeth was upset. With that they said goodbye to each other with another hug and Elizabeth walked away.

The man appeared sad as he watched Elizabeth walk away too but when he turned back and saw Jack watching, his expression changed to a happier one. He put his hand up to wave. Jack looked around to see who he was waving at but Jack was the only person nearby.

The man approached him before he called out.

"Jack. How have you been?"

As he got closer, the man offered his hand and Jack cautiously took it to shake. He didn't know if he could trust this man that he had just seen hugging his wife.

"You don't remember me?"

Jack shook his head no.

"I'm Shane Cantrell. Your partner in crime, so to speak" he said with a laugh.

This was the man Elizabeth had wanted him to meet.

"You just got back from your deployment?" Jack asked.

"That's right. Last week."

Jack nodded not sure what else to say. He didn't think 'why were you hugging my wife' sent the right message.

"I heard you've had a bit of a rough time. Elizabeth asked me to come and speak to you" Shane said.

"Did she just?" Jack's anger returning. Jack could see the surprise on Shane's face.

"She's worried about you, Jack. That's all."

"She couldn't be too worried if I haven't seen or heard from her for almost two weeks" Jack mumbled.

"Why do you think she was just here? You excluded her, along with Frank and the doctor. She's been coming almost daily to get progress updates from Frank."

"Why doesn't she talk to me then?"

"You moved out, right?"

"Yes."

"Because you thought she was pushing you?"

"Yes."

"So it sounds to me like she can't win. She backs off and you're still upset that she hasn't been here. It goes two ways Jack. Stop being a stubborn ass and go home."

Jack remembered Shane then. He had heard that before.

"You've told me that before" he said quietly.

"I've told you that many times before, Jack. You two are both stubborn. One of you has to give in eventually. This time it has to be you."

Jack knew he was right. He was missing Elizabeth terribly.

Jack had no new aggressive episodes despite having a lot of memories return but making sense of them would remain difficult without Elizabeth's input. He had been busy drawing every little thing he remembered just in case she came to visit one day.

But Shane was right. Jack had told Elizabeth she was pushing him so now when she backed off he was still angry with her. Jack wasn't sure what he expected from her.

When he saw Frank that day, he knew what he had to do though.

"I need to go home Frank. I miss them terribly."

"It's your call Jack."

"Do you think it was just a one off?"

"It seems that way. Just a combination of everything. We've gone over comping mechanisms since. You need to focus on them next time you feel like there is a potential for you to become overwhelmed."

"Do you think I would really hurt my wife or daughters? Am I a risk to them?"

"I don't think so but you need to know that. I don't know how angry you were on that particular day."

"Did Elizabeth come in and check up on me?"

"Of course, Jack. She's been really worried about you."

Jack thought about it. He had been miserable for the last two weeks and he didn't feel any different to before. He made his decision. He went and packed up his bags. I'm going home.

Elizabeth thought the time after Jack's accident had been terrible but now it felt so much worse. He had left her unintentionally when he lost his memory. Now he had done it on purpose. She never thought she would see a day when Jack left her and the girls. She had felt physically sick all week with the stress and anxiety of the situation.

She stayed off work the day after she left the hospital but she ended up back in the classroom by the Friday. Her new students were a welcome distraction from everything going on at home.

The girls took everything in their stride. Elizabeth had told them that Jack had gone away for work urgently and he didn't get the time to say goodbye to any of them. They accepted the explanation and things quickly fell back into the routine they had while Jack had been deployed. They had spent most of the weekend with their family and friends, Elizabeth doing her best to keep the girls busy.

Although Elizabeth thought about Jack every spare moment she had, the week passed and Elizabeth hadn't heard much. She had gone to the base on Monday afternoon to speak to Frank and find out how Jack was going. Frank couldn't tell her much but at least he could tell her that Jack was okay.

Elizabeth was at Abigail's the next morning with Eve while the other girls were at school. Eve was excitedly drinking her milkshake that Abigail had just placed on the table with Elizabeth's coffee, before she sat down with them.

"How are you, Elizabeth?"

"I've been better."

Elizabeth had filled Abigail in on all things Jack-related the previous week. Normally she would have spoken to her mother but Abigail had begun to fill that void. Grace and Abigail both had a similar delicate approach and were good at listening and telling Elizabeth their honest opinion.

"Jack hasn't called?"

"No" Elizabeth said sadly.

"He will be back, don't worry."

"Abigail, Jack's been gone for a week and hasn't even tried to talk to me. What does that say about how he feels about us?"

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth turned to see Sarah behind her.

"Hi Sarah."

"Are you okay? I just heard you say that Jack left."

Elizabeth sighed. She hadn't expected someone to overhear her conversation. She should have been more careful.

"Yes, his mind is playing tricks on him since the accident. He's having a bit of a rough time."

"I'm sorry to hear that. How are the girls handling everything?"

"They're fine. Thanks for asking."

"Well, I will leave you to it. Good to see you again, Elizabeth. Maybe we can catch up at some stage. I'll speak to Jasmine and see when she's next in town."

"Sure. That would be nice."

Elizabeth gave her friend a small smile and wave but as soon as she had left, she groaned. She had never intended Sarah to overhear her and now she knew Sarah would call Jasmine immediately to tell her what she'd accidentally heard.

Sure enough, that Friday night Lee and Rosie invited Elizabeth and the girls to dinner. Elizabeth walked in to the restaurant and found Rosie waving to her.

"Yoohoo. Beth!" she sung out across the restaurant.

Normally Elizabeth would have been embarrassed but she was used to Rosie's antics.

As she walked closer, the girls darted ahead to see Will and Sammy. Rosie stood up to give her a hug, as did Lee. Elizabeth sat down and was about to start talking, when she felt someone behind her and followed Lee's gaze.

"Hi Elizabeth."

Once again, Charles towered over her. How is he always here? I haven't seen him in almost ten years and this is the third time in three months.

"Charles. How are you?"

"Good. Can I borrow you for a minute?"

Assuming he would finally introduce her to his wife, Elizabeth agreed. She stood up and walked toward a table where a woman was sitting on her own but Charles kept walking straight out of the restaurant.

Elizabeth followed uncertainly. He walked around the corner of the building until they were out of sight and stopped, looking out across the lake.

"What's going on Charles?"

"My wife and I separated. We've decided to get divorced" he said quietly.

"I'm so sorry, Charles."

"It's okay. It's been a long time coming."

He leant on the nearby railing and Elizabeth couldn't help but stand next to him. She didn't know what to say, but she could sense his sadness.

"What about you? I heard things have been rough for you as well."

"Yeah, they're not great."

"You've separated?"

Elizabeth looked up at him in surprise and thought for a second she saw Charles appear hopeful.

"Not exactly. We're spending some time apart."

"Isn't that the definition of separated?"

"I guess" she said uncertainly, not sure where the conversation was heading.

Before she had a moment to think though, Charles turned and moved closer to her. His hand reached for her and his wet lips pressed against hers so suddenly that it took her a split second to react and push him away.

"What are you doing?!" she said angrily.

"It's a sign Elizabeth. We've been skirting each other for years, but right now we are both single at the same time. It's meant to be. I've always wanted you."

"Wow. Well, I'm not single. I'm still married and our separation will be temporary while he sorts through some things. I'm sorry Charles, but Jack is the only man that I will ever want."

"You don't mean that. He left you."

Jasmine must have passed on the news that she heard from Sarah.

"Even still. I won't be dating anyone until I've given up on Jack and I don't see that ever happening. I have to go."

Elizabeth pulled away, tears forming in her eyes. She hurried back into the restaurant toward Lee and Rosie. They must have seen something wrong because Lee stood up.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine" Elizabeth said as she sat back down. "Have you ordered yet?" she said as she wiped her eyes.

"No, just waiting for you."

The rest of the evening went well and Elizabeth knew she was quieter than normal but Lee and Rosie didn't push her to talk. Rosie did enough talking for all three of them anyway.

Elizabeth couldn't quite believe that Charles would be that forward. She knew she wasn't at fault for him kissing her but she couldn't help but feel guilty. She had thought the only man she would ever kiss would be Jack and right when they were apart, that had happened. Elizabeth just got angrier with Jack for causing her to be in this position.

The following Tuesday, Elizabeth and Eve picked Halley and Gracie up from school and Elizabeth drove them to the park on the way home. She had packed them a snack and once they pulled up, Elizabeth helped them out handing them each something to eat. They took off for the swings and slide once they were done and Elizabeth sat down on a bench and watched them. They squealed and laughed together as they played happily.

Considering everything that had happened, she was amazed at how well they were all doing. The only thing that had changed, was that Eve was back to sleeping in Elizabeth's bed at night, and truthfully, she welcomed the company.

After the girls were worn out from the park, she loaded them back into the car for the five minute drive home. As she pulled the car into the drive, she was surprised to see Jack sitting on the front step with his bag by his side. Gracie and Eve began squealing in excitement once they noticed him.

As soon as Elizabeth had opened their doors, they ran happily towards him. Jack stood up and with a big smile, wrapped both of them up in his arms. Halley was more reserved. She clung to Elizabeth as they walked toward the front of the house.

Jack glanced up and saw his eldest daughter glued to Elizabeth's side. He knew she must be wary of him now because of what had happened that night. Jack let go of Gracie and Eve who were talking excitedly to him.

"Just a minute" he said to them, before he put his hand out to Halley.

"Halley, sweetie. I'm really sorry what I said the last time I saw you. I don't know what happened but I should have never spoken to you like that. I'm very sorry. Will you forgive me?"

Halley looked up at Elizabeth who nodded with a small smile.

"Okay" she said quietly before taking Jack's hand. He picked her up and gave her a big hug and Halley put her hands around his neck.

"I love you, Halley. I'm so sorry" he whispered into her ear.

"It's okay. I love you too, Daddy."

Elizabeth walked past them and unlocked the house. She could smell the dinner cooking in the slow cooker which she had set earlier. Elizabeth walked straight into the kitchen and checked the pot, grabbing a spoon and stirring the stew. She would admit that it was just a distraction for the moment. She didn't know what to say to Jack. She felt selfish considering everything else that had happened but all she could think of was that he had left her.

She listened to the girls talking to him excitedly about everything they had been up to while she busied herself making their lunches for the following day. After that she walked outside and took the washing off the line and brought the basket in, carrying it straight upstairs. In her bedroom, she folded all of the clothes and then put them away. She lingered upstairs, cleaning and tidying, doing her best to find anything to prevent her from going downstairs and facing Jack.

She knew she was hurt and angry and she didn't quite know how she was going to react to him. Then there was also the thing that happened with Charles. Elizabeth knew she had to tell Jack but there was too many other things that needed to be said first before mentioning that. She felt avoidance was best at that moment, especially while the girls were still awake.

When Elizabeth went back downstairs, she served up dinner and called everyone to the table. Halley and Gracie set the table, while Eve hung off Jack's arm as he helped her sit up on her chair. Elizabeth put the plates on the table and the conversation still flowed between Jack and the girls. After dinner, Elizabeth cleared the plates and she felt ashamed that she hoped Jack would leave her be. No such luck. The girls left the dining room and left her and Jack behind. Elizabeth wasn't sure what to say so kept silent as she cleaned up.

"Elizabeth, I am sorry about everything."

"Sure. No problem" she said as she dried one of the dishes, keeping her eyes fixed in front of her.

"Beth, please look at me."

"I can't."

She felt him closer behind her now, one of his hands touching her elbow gently.

"Beth …"

She placed the dish down, still not turning.

"No, Jack. You shut me out. The girls can forgive you straight away but I can't."

"Elizabeth, I am truly sorry for hurting you that night."

Elizabeth put the dish cloth down and turned toward him, the anger flaring inside her.

"That's not why I'm angry, Jack."

She walked straight out of the room.

Elizabeth was up early the next morning for work. Eve was asleep beside her and Jack had slept in the spare room, realising that things weren't fixed between them yet,

Elizabeth organised the girls for school and was about to leave when Jack emerged. She was surprised to see him at first but then realised it made sense he would have had his work schedule changed over the last few weeks. Jack said goodbye to each of the girls, giving them a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

Elizabeth walked around to the driver's door, where Jack was waiting, holding it open for her. She glanced at him as she passed, stepping into the car. Before he closed it after her, he leant over kissing her on the cheek.

"I love you" he said quietly.

Elizabeth looked at him momentarily before he stepped away and closed the door. She turned on the ignition and drove off.

Jack had naively thought that he would be able to go back home and have everything fall back into place. He now realised that was a stupid idea. He wasn't exactly sure what was wrong but was fairly certain it had something to do with him deciding to leave. She had been upset with him at the hospital when he suggested it. Now he had to work out how to fix it.

Two days went past with Jack trying his best to be happy and optimistic with his wife and daughters. He bought a bouquet of flowers for Elizabeth, her favourite ice-cream and he cooked their dinner. He served her a glass of wine and told her to put her feet up. He did the laundry and cleaned the house for her, working around his half days at the base.

On Friday afternoon he had enough of the silence so called in his mother for backup. She was going to look after the girls as soon as Elizabeth got home so he and Elizabeth could go for a walk.

"Are things that bad?"

"Yeah, she won't talk to me."

"I thought I was imagining it but I think she has been avoiding me too" Charlotte admitted.

"Why? What did you do?"

"I think it was at the hospital. I was standing by your bedside, Frank and Dr Carson were on the other side and remember we looked back up and Elizabeth was gone. I can't remember what we were talking about but that is the last time I have heard from her."

Jack racked his brain trying to remember.

"Ma, I need her back but I don't really know what to say to her. I've tried everything. Taking her for a walk is really my last resort."

At that moment, they heard Elizabeth's car in the drive. Jack stood up from the chair he had been sitting in and nervously straightened himself up. He was wearing dark jeans and her favourite button down shirt. He had shaved and done his hair the way she liked it. He walked toward the door and was immediately mobbed by Gracie when she saw him.

"Daddy!"

"Hi beautiful! How was school?"

"Great. I'm so excited about tomorrow!" Gracie said before noticing Charlotte. "Grandma!"

Halley and Eve ran in, bypassing Jack and going straight to Charlotte to give her a hug instead.

When Elizabeth appeared at the door, she looked exhausted. Her expression didn't really change when she saw Charlotte in their house either.

"Hi babe" Jack said coming forward to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"What's going on?" she asked, still watching Charlotte.

"Ma's here to watch the girls for a bit. Take a walk with me?"