(27/9/2018)

CHAPTER 43

Elizabeth stood there watching Charlotte talking to the girls who were still talking animatedly about their day.

"A walk?" she said in response to Jack.

"Yes."

She could sense the slight uncertainty in his voice and felt sorry for him. She knew she had been giving him a hard time with everything.

"Um. Okay. I'll just go change my clothes."

Elizabeth walked past him, said a brief hello to Charlotte before heading upstairs to change into something more comfortable. She pulled on her skinny jeans, a loose fitting sweater and her most comfortable boots before heading back downstairs.

"Bye girls. We'll be back in a bit" Jack called out to them.

"Bye!" they sung out in unison.

Jack went around to the passenger door and held it open for Elizabeth. She slipped passed him with a brief thankyou before he went around the other side and climbed in. They drove in silence down to the lake, where Jack once again rushed around to hold open her door but this time he took her hand and led her down to the path that wrapped around the lake foreshore.

The silence was beginning to be unbearable but Elizabeth wasn't quite sure how to break it. She wanted to say she was sorry for being difficult but then the disappointment she felt when Jack had left came back.

Jack led her to a bench and they sat down. He still held her hand but they sat further apart than they normally would.

"Elizabeth" he started, slowly. "I know you've lost some faith in me. I just want to say that I only had your best interests at heart. I didn't remember when I hurt you and I was so worried that I would do something out of control and hurt you or the girls and not be able to take it back. I love you more than anything, but I quickly realised that not having you there by my side every day was even more difficult to bear. I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. Will you please forgive me?"

Elizabeth watched him and could see he was hurting but he still didn't get it.

"Jack, it wasn't the fact that you hurt me, it was the fact that you left and made the decision without my input" she said, as the anger made its way back into her tone. "You, Frank, Carson and even your mother all decided what was best for you while I stood there helplessly watching. You forgot that I know you better than anyone, even your own mother, and yet I wasn't seen as important enough to contribute to the discussion on your treatment."

"No, Beth. That's not it."

Elizabeth didn't reply. She pulled her hand back out of his, wrapping her arms around herself as if she was cold but really it was more like she was holding herself together, willing herself not to fall apart as she stared out across the still surface of the water.

She heard Jack take a deep breath beside her, exhaling slowly but she didn't turn to look at him.

"Elizabeth, please. You know you are the most important person in my life."

Elizabeth put her hands out to hold onto the side of the seat and bent over, looking down at her feet. Her hair fell around her face, which she was glad for. Jack could no longer see her eyes, that had once again filled with tears. She had shed so many tears in the last two weeks that she was amazed that she had any tears left.

"I'm sorry for the way things happened" Jack continued. "It will never happen again. I don't ever want to be apart from you. We belong together Elizabeth."

"Well, that's what I thought, but the first sign of trouble and you ran away" she spat out, ashamed at her reaction.

Jack didn't know what else to do. This was a lot harder than he had expected it would be.

"Beth, please. I can't do anything more than say how sorry I am. I was in a bad place and was acting irrationally."

Elizabeth didn't move. "I am the first person you should be able to turn to and ask for help. If not, then what is the point of us being together."

Jack could hear the emotion in her voice. "You don't mean that."

"I do" she said clearly.

"You want to separate permanently?"

"What do you think, Jack?"

Jack tried to think rationally. She wouldn't be this upset if she was happy to go their separate ways.

"No, you don't."

They sat there in silence for a moment longer.

"Beth, I promise I will let you in first next time there is a problem and from now on you and I will be making any decisions that affect our family together. No one else but you and I."

Elizabeth glanced across at him and he could see the pain in her eyes.

"Please …" he said, his voice cracking as he put his hand out, running it down her arm slowly. He slid his body closer to hers until their thighs were touching.

Jack barely saw it, but she nodded slowly before closing her eyes. He reached out, his free hand running over her neck before he pulled her closer, his lips pressing against hers slowly. Her lips pressed back against his. Everything about her made him feel alive again.

He pulled back, his hand wrapping around her shoulders as he held her close. She moved into him, her head resting on his chest. They sat there quietly, staring out at the water.

"I've got some pictures to show you tonight" Jack said as they drove back home. They had spent a good hour talking down by the lake before they decided they should get back. Once they had got in the car, away from anyone's eyes, they had spent another half hour making up for some lost time. Elizabeth had eventually pulled away, her lips pink and swollen from his kisses. Her broad smile made him grin back as he started the car to head home.

"You've still been having lots of memories?" Elizabeth now asked.

"Yes. I've stopped therapy for the moment. There are still some memories that I can't remember fully but I do remember some clearly now."

"That's great news, Jack" she said with a smile.

Jack gave her hand a squeeze, where they rested on the glovebox between them.

They had ordered pizza and had picked it up on the way home. They pulled up at their house. Elizabeth clambered out of the car as Jack reached her, the pizza still sitting on the seat behind her. Jack leant in kissing her on the lips again. A few minutes later, they were still at the car, with Jack pressing her body back against the car.

"The pizza" she got out between kisses. "Cold."

"I don't care" he said, his hands on her hips, holding her firmly. His lips pressing back to hers.

"Jack."

Jack pulled back, leaning over her with a frustrated breath.

"We have to eat dinner and then get the girls to bed, Jack. Only then we can continue this."

Charlotte ended up staying for dinner. Elizabeth was still quiet in front of her mother-in-law but Jack pulled her aside at one stage and must have filled her in.

"I'm sorry about everything, Lizzy. It was unintentional on my part."

Elizabeth just nodded, not adding anything, but after that the mood seemed to improve around the dinner table. Elizabeth went to put the girls in bed and once they were all asleep, she wandered back downstairs to see Charlotte and Jack having a deep and meaningful.

Rather than disturb them, she went back to her room and sat down on the bed and pulled out her book.

"Jack, she has been through a lot on her own. At some point the whole situation was going to become overwhelming. You can only be strong for so long before the cracks begin to show" Charlotte said as she sat opposite Jack at the table finishing off her cup of tea.

"I know. I'm just worried about her."

"Everything is okay again though?"

"Yes, for the moment. I shut her out to protect her but I did more damage in the process."

"Maybe you should be writing some of these things down so you remember next time."

"Like a list?"

"Yes. You know if you feel overwhelmed yourself, number one should be talk to Elizabeth about how you're feeling."

"I guess I could try that."

Charlotte stood to leave. "I better go. You go look after that wife of yours."

Jack followed her to the door and said goodbye. He shut off the rest of the lights before moving upstairs. He found Elizabeth asleep on their bed, a book in her lap. As he took it out of her hands, she stirred.

"Jack" she said sleepily.

"Beth, here lay down" he said, pulling the blankets back for her.

She scooted down the bed, clearly exhausted. He helped pull her jeans off and she threw her sweater on the floor before laying down and Jack covered her with the blankets. He leant down to kiss her cheek but she was already fast asleep.

Jack was woken the next morning by someone running and jumping on the bed.

"It's Saturday!" Gracie squealed.

"That's nice" Jack said, not sure what significance Saturday had.

When he looked at his daughter though, she was dressed in a leotard and tights and was jumping up and down on the bed.

"Mommy! Mommy! Help!" Eve ran in with no clothes on and her own leotard in her hand.

Elizabeth sat up sleepily and helped Eve into her dancing outfit before collapsing back on the bed. Gracie and Eve ran downstairs together.

"Why am I wearing a bra to bed?" she asked Jack as she pulled the sheet up and glanced down at herself.

"You fell asleep. That was the best I could do."

"I fell asleep?"

"Yes, you must have been exhausted."

Elizabeth ran her hand over her face and put both arms over her head to stretch. "I don't remember anything."

Jack rolled onto his side. "Why are the girls so excited today?"

Elizabeth smiled at him. "Dancing starts this morning."

"All three of them?"

"No just Gracie and Eve. Halley wanted to play soccer with her friends this year instead."

"What time is dancing?"

"10."

"I'm supposed to meet up with Shane and some of the others at the pub this afternoon for a few welcome back drinks."

"So you met Shane?"

"Yes, I ran into him at the base on Tuesday. I actually saw you talking to him that same day."

"That was the day that you decided to come home" she said slowly, watching him.

"Yes."

"Shane spoke to you."

"He did."

They were silent as Jack reached out to move a strand of hair out of her face.

"He talked some sense into me Beth. I needed to hear it."

"He's a good friend."

"I got that idea when I was talking to him."

"Do you want to come to dance class this morning then?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world" he said with a smile.

After lunch, Shane picked Jack up from home and they drove to the pub where they were meeting everyone else.

"You worked closely with everyone here. You were their Sergeant so they have a great deal of respect for you. The day of the accident, we were attacked but you went in to pull Smyth out. That's when you were injured."

Shane reintroduced everyone before they took a seat. Everybody appeared eager to talk to Jack and see what had been happening. Paul Smyth eagerly shook Jack's hand, thanking him as he hadn't gotten the chance.

"Thank you Sarg. I owe you."

"It's fine. Just doing my job."

"You know it was more than that. Thanks anyway. I'm shouting you a beer."

With that Smyth was off buying everyone a round where they toasted Jack. He was incredibly embarrassed but at the same time pleased that he had people around him that thought so highly of him.

He had a continual conversation going with one officer or another as they all made the effort to talk to him and let them know who each of them was and how they fitted in.

Jack was surprisingly having a good time. He walked up to the bar to get some water and another jug of beer when someone bumped into him. When Jack turned, he saw a familiar man leaning against the bar with a sly grin on his face.

"Well, if it isn't Jack."

Jack looked at the man and struggled to place him for a moment before he remembered.

"Charles. You were a friend of Elizabeth's, right?"

"Oh, we're much more than that. Are you two back together yet?"

"That is none of your business" Jack said turning to walk away.

"Maybe I should give her a call and see if she's free. Elizabeth must be available if you're here."

Jack turned back toward him. "You stay away from my wife."

"You know after that kiss last week, I thought she was going to leave you and be with me."

Jack had no idea what he was talking about. But he kissed Elizabeth. My Elizabeth.

"I dream about those soft, full lips a lot these days" Charles said, faking a faraway look.

Jack placed his drinks down and was back in Charles' face as he shoved him in the chest. "I said stay away from her."

"You really think you can stop me?"

Jack snapped.