So, because of my very brief statement about Thomas getting a branch line in the last recap, I thought I should explain a bit more. Basically, after realizing that he has a whole new retarded character to fuck everything up, The Hefty Bag knew he had to give Thomas a different job and purpose in the show, or else there would be too many annoying characters in one place.

I know most of you already know that, but I didn't want you guys bitching about it in the comments.

Anyway, The Fat Bastard's like, "Alright, after your entrance yesterday, I'm gonna pair you with Edward since you're less likely to fuck up around him."

So, James and Edward take a bunch of coaches, but James gets so excited that he blows a load all over The Fat Bastard's new hat. But he doesn't have time to yell at him because the train gets going, and James is left to worry about getting fired for the rest of the day.

They pull up to a station where Thomas is waiting, and he's like, "Oh, heyyy! How's it goin' James? Feelin' any better after what happened yesterday?"

And James is like, "C'mon, Man, do ya have to rub it in? I thought we were friends."

"Yeah, I'm just messin' with ya. I can't stay mad at you after you gave me that weed. Seriously, that was some first class shit."

So, Tom fucks off and James starts thinking about seeing Sir Fatass again, and Edward just makes it worse when he makes them go by the field James crashed into.

And he's all, "Oh, look! It's the field you crashed into! See all the dead cows? I heard you swallowed one. Does cow taste good?"

Ya know, Edward, I really hate to say it, but FUCK YOU. You took James back here on purpose, and he had no choice! You were the one leading the train, and James didn't know where the fuck he was going anyway! I don't get what game you're playing at here since you never treat anyone else like this, but this is some bullshit. Is it because you feel like you're getting replaced? Is it because you're jealous of James' sexy red paint? Or is it because everyone literally likes him better than you because he's a recolor?!

*sigh*Sorry, I'm overanalyzing stuff again, I know. Just gimme a minute while a get the bleach…

Sooo, after that, Sir Big Smoke pays James a visit, and he's all, "I can promise you this, James. If you don't shape up, I'm gonna lock you up in your room, and paint you the same shade of white as the jizz you stained my new Goddamn hat with!"

So, now that James has to live with the fear of becoming a literal cum-covered whore, he lashes out at the coaches. But his tantrum results in his dick giving one of the coaches a black eye, and they refuse to go any further until they use one of the passengers as a virgin sacrifice to summon some black magic and heal the black eye.

Unfortunately, none of the passengers admits to being a virgin, but they start getting suspicious of him because he's wearing the biggest pair of boots on the train. And as we all know, when men sport something new and/or big, they're compensating for something. So, they kill the man with the big boots, the black magic is summoned to heal the coach's black eye, and they continue on while James figures out that he has even more problems. Not only will his boss paint him with jizz the next time he gets in trouble, but he'll probably also go to court for domestic abuse.