I know I haven't included the narrator in any of the recaps yet, but I'm gonna let him speak this time because of this one opening line:

"One night, Henry and Gordon were alone with James."

Do I even have to say it? I mean, it's already so out of context that if you don't know the characters and/or haven't watched the show, your dirtied mind will immediately assume it's a prison rape joke. And sure, that's funny any all to most of you(probably all of you since you're reading this smutty shit), but it's just such low-hanging fruit either way.

Anyway, the other engines are like, "Hey, James! Needed anymore virgin sacrifices lately? Why don't you just sacrifice yourself?"

And James is like, "What makes you think I'm a virgin?"

"We never said you were."

"Damnit! You two aren't ones ta talk! Gordon, you're nothing but a fat bitch that hides in the closet! And Henry, you're just a giant, green faggot!"

"What the fuck, James?!"

"What? I'm just saying since he's gay-."

"Are you insinuating that all gay people are faggots?! Jesus Christ, that's just homophobic! Ellen DeGeneres would be ashamed of you!"

So, the next morning comes, and Gordon's spazzing on about how he's the best on the railway and that he pulls the express that compensates for his dick.

And he's like, "Alright, ya dumb red whore, go get my coaches before I give you a black eye!"

James gets the coaches and Gordon fucks off, which leaves James alone to work in the yard wondering about what his life could amount up to, if it even will. All day, he contemplates if he'll ever get his dick wet again before he turns thirty, if he'll become some famous influencer or motivational speaker, or if he'll somehow fuck up every chance he had at great life and get sent to the chop shop…

…

…

Being an engine must suck.

Anyway, Gordon ends up getting turned around like in that one Disney movie about a llama, and he tries to avoid getting spotted. But if anyone has a better bullshit detector than Gordon, it's James.

And he's like, "Well, if it isn't Mr. Blue Balls. Were you afraid of giving yourself a black eye with your oh-so proclaimed huge junk?"

And Gordon's all, "Actually, the tracks got switched, and I was put onto an abandoned railroad. And one of the coaches started poking at my backdoor while telling me no one would hear me scream, so I booked it back here as fast as I could."

And James is like, "Perhaps it was instinct!"(canon dialogue)

And no, I don't know why the narrator gave James a higher-pitched voice to make him sound more like an asshole, but I'm just glad he's using some vocal diversity for once.

Anyway, all the passengers are pissed, and Sir Biggy's like, "James, since Gordon's too scared to pull the raping coach, could you please do it so that everyone will shut the fuck up?"

So, James pulls the express, The Big Pimp lets him start pulling it once in a while so that Gordon can take some time off to forget about his scarring days in prison, and the two stop calling each other faggots.