At those words, my blood turned to ice. Tears blurred my vision, and the only sound I could muster was a muffled whimper. My stomach heaved, and I snatched at the trash can Buck had somehow instinctively grabbed and thrust my way.

None of the million thoughts that raced across my mind in that moment made any sense.

What is wrong with me? Why am I letting this get to me? Hadn't Valerie been my "mortal enemy"? But wait, what am I even thinking? What kind of a monster am I? What if it had been me? Why hadn't it been me? Had it all somehow been my fault after all? What if I had never come back to Odyssey? Would I still be living the same lame life in California, and she'd still be here?

I could have done or said anything during those moments of sheer delirium as the significance of the catastrophic revelation sank in. My mind and body went numb. I lost all sense of time. It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours that I just sat there, staring off into space.

Then, "Jules… Jules…"

A gentle voice broke through the nothingness. It was Buck. He was speaking softly and smoothing the wild strands of hair that hung in my face. Slowly my head began to clear.

I sensed that I was holding onto something, as if for dear life. What was it? Looking down, I realized that at some point I had grabbed Buck's arm and was clutching it in a death grip. I released him from my grasp, horrified at the red, angry welts my fingernails had left in his flesh. My mouth hung open, and I just stared at the damage I'd caused.

"I'm sorry—I'm so, so sorry—I—" I choked on my words, and my hands frantically caressed the marks, as if I could make them go away. Then, suddenly, I began to sob. He pulled me close, and I buried my face in his chest. I could feel his heartbeat—strong and reassuring—and for a moment in time, he was all there was in the world to me. His fingers trembled as he gently stroked the tangled locks of my hair. I knew he was being brave for me, and my hearth thanked him.

He held me till the tears stopped, but my hand still clung to his shirt, craving the security of his touch.

I don't remember much after that. It felt like I was living in a blur, like I was watching someone else being poked and prodded by doctors and nurses and mechanically greeting the visitors who came and went.

At some point, they brought in a plate full of colorless mush that was supposed to be my dinner, which I of course had no intention of eating. After an hour or so of Connie trying to convince me to eat while Katrina, Penny and Jillian tried to convince Connie to eat something they'd brought up from the cafeteria, I guess they all gave up.

As the evening wore on, people began filtering slowly out of the room, leaving behind only Connie, Buck, and Katrina, who had stayed behind at Buck's insistence.

It was well after 9 p.m. when Katrina left her seat beside Connie, whispering a few quiet words as she gathered her purse and keys.

"It's about time we go home and let Jules get some sleep, Bucky Bear."

He smiled softly at the nickname and gave his foster mother's hand a gentle squeeze as she joined him in the corner where he'd tirelessly stood watch over me for most of the day.

Though he'd never left my side, Buck had remained mostly silent during those long hours in the hospital room. He had been so strong for me, but I knew he was inwardly fending off demons of his own.

"Goodnight, Jules," he murmured softly, his eyes still trained on me as he got up to follow his foster mother out of the room.

They both paused in the doorway.

"Connie, give us a call if you need anything," Katrina offered. "Eugene and I will be praying for you both."

Then, they rounded the corner out of sight.

A split second later, Buck was at my side again.

"Jules—"

"Buck?"

We both spoke at the same time. Our eyes locked for a moment, and he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. His blue eyes held an expression I couldn't quite read.

"Go on. I'll be okay," I half-whispered.

"Jules, I, uh—" He hesitated. "Goodnight, Jules."

A second later, he disappeared into the hallway.

And just like that, everyone was gone. Except for Connie. She stayed by my side all night long. Mom and Dad would have left by now, I thought, blinking back a stream of involuntary tears.

They drugged me up pretty good so I'd fall asleep, and I slowly drifted off into a nightmarish haze of disconnected thoughts and rumblings of my deepest fears.