Chapter 1 of 2 today …

(14/10/2018)

CHAPTER 51

Recap …

Everyone said goodnight. Jack followed Elizabeth to their tent. She led him in holding a small torch so that he could see and zipped the tent up behind him.

They fumbled around in the dark, changing their clothes before they slid into their sleeping bags. Laying there listening to the sounds around them, Jack felt a sense of peace.

"I see what you mean about this place" Jack whispered.

"It's calming, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is."

Continued …

Jack woke up feeling like he had just lifted into the air and landed again. He looked down to see Gracie had jumped on the air mattress between him and Elizabeth.

"Daddy! Wake up!"

"Oh I'm awake Gracie. What's the matter?"

"You said we could go fishing this morning!"

"Did I? Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

Jack was seriously regretting that conversation right at that moment. He would like nothing more than to curl back up against Elizabeth and go back to sleep.

"Come on Dad!"

"Alright. I'll be there in a minute. Go get dressed."

"I am dressed."

"Oh. Well wait for me outside the tent."

Gracie got off the air mattress and Elizabeth slid back against him. He put his arm around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Who's idea was it to go fishing?"

"All yours."

"Do you want to come?"

"Nope."

"You don't want to spend some quality time fishing with your daughters?"

"No. I want quality time sleeping."

"Okay then."

"Dad!" Gracie interrupted them.

"I'm coming" he said exasperated as he pulled himself out of his sleeping bag making Elizabeth get thrown all over the place with his movement on the mattress.

"Jack" she groaned.

"Oh hush. I'm going" he said with a chuckle.

He changed his clothes but before he left, he leant over Elizabeth.

"I'll bring you back some nice stinky fish and a kiss, okay?"

Elizabeth's eyes shot open.

"What?" he said.

"Nothing. I'll see you soon."

She reached up to kiss him before he left.

Halley and Gracie were outside waiting for Jack. He went and got their fishing gear out of the car and led them down to the lake. Both of the girls bounded beside him excitedly.

Within ten minutes of their leaving, Elizabeth felt movement beside her as Eve curled up beside her. Elizabeth rolled over and helped her into Jack's sleeping bag. She was asleep again in minutes. Elizabeth rolled back over and made the most of the peace and quiet.

An hour later, she had been up and taken Eve to the shower block. They had both had showers and Elizabeth had braided Eve's hair. They came back to find Katy starting on breakfast. Elizabeth gave her a hand while Eve played with Sophie and Candice.

"How did you sleep, Katy?"

"Alright. Those mattresses always take a few nights to get used to though."

"I know. Every time Jack moved he almost threw me off the other side."

Katy laughed. "I know the feeling."

"Where's Shane?"

"He and Phillip went to find Jack and the girls."

"It's funny. Jack said something to me this morning that he used to say to me all the time but I don't think he even remembered."

"What did he say?"

"I'll bring you back some nice stinky fish and a kiss, okay?"

Katy laughed. "I know you hate fishing so I'm guessing that was a joke between you?"

"I don't hate fishing. I just don't like the smell of it. Whenever Jack used to go fishing, which was quite a bit back before we had kids, he used to say that to me. Then when he came home, he used to chase me around the house with those stinky hands and try and kiss me."

"And he said it this morning?"

"Yes. Like it was the most normal thing ever. That's the hard part with it all though. I forget sometimes that he's not the same Jack and there are parts of him that are missing and then he'll come out and say or do something like that and it just throws me."

"And you remember that he doesn't remember?"

"Exactly. It's silly isn't it?"

"No. I understand."

Elizabeth glanced down at the lake and could see the men and the kids returning. Halley was carrying a bucket excitedly, so Elizabeth assumed they must have caught something.

"Mommy!" Gracie called out running ahead.

"What is it?"

"We caught some fish! Come and see."

Elizabeth walked toward them and Halley was grinning broadly at her. "Look what I caught, Mommy."

Elizabeth peered into the bucket of water to see two of the smallest fish ever swimming inside.

"Wow. That's great Halley. Did you catch both?"

She nodded proudly. Sophie, Candice and Eve ran over to have a look too. All the children peered inside, watching the fish swim.

"Right, well what about you go set them free now?"

Halley groaned. "Just a little longer, please?"

"Fine but just be careful that the bucket doesn't get knocked over. You need to put them straight back in ten minutes so they can swim away."

Halley nodded and sat down next to her bucket of fish to watch them.

Jack went and put the rods away. She could see him coming back toward her and wondered how much he remembered from his past fishing trips.

"Hey babe. Do you know where my blue tshirt is?"

"Yeah it's in the tent."

"Can you have a look for me?"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Elizabeth looked at him for a moment, but she put down the tongs she had been holding.

"Go Beth. I've got this" Katy said regarding the bacon and eggs that they were in the middle of cooking.

Elizabeth walked toward the tent but before she could get there, Jack came up beside her.

"Babe?"

"Yeah."

"I seem to remember that you like fishy hands."

She glanced across at him and saw the twinkle in his eye.

"No. I do not."

He went to reach for her but she darted away from him and just like that he was chasing her and she was squealing trying to get away from him. She darted behind the tent.

"No, no, no."

He cut her off from the other side and he wrapped his arms around her before he leant in to kiss her. She kissed him back, the way she used to kiss him.

"You remembered?"

"Yeah." He kissed her again. "By the way my hands aren't that smelly but that was worth it, just to get a kiss like that. Looks like I'm going fishing tomorrow morning as well!"

When they re-emerged from behind the tent, Katy was laughing and shaking her head at them.

"You two. Honestly! You put the rest of us old married couples to shame."

After breakfast, Elizabeth offered to mind the kids while Shane and Katy went for a walk. It took all of two seconds for Katy to agree and she dragged Shane off along one of the trails that wrapped around the edge of the lake.

Elizabeth set up some games for the girls while Jack played with Phillip. He put him up on his shoulders and they walked around exploring and looking for bugs.

Elizabeth watched them remembering all too well when he used to do that with Halley and Gracie. Jack didn't do it so much with Eve as she was more of hugger and ended up hugging his head off so he preferred to just carry her instead.

When Jack came back to them, he lifted Phillip down. Elizabeth set out the picnic blanket for him and Jack and Elizabeth sat down on either side of him and he played with his toy trucks between them.

"You used to do that with Halley and Gracie. Do you remember?"

"Vaguely."

"Halley used to enjoy it the most. She was devastated when she was too heavy to do it anymore."

"That wouldn't have been that long ago. She's a lightweight!"

Elizabeth laughed. "That she is."

"What happened to Halley when I came home from that deployment?"

Six years and six months before … (April 2012)

When Jack appeared by Elizabeth's side in the delivery suite she could hardly believe what was happening. Five months she had been without him and now he was here holding her hand. Moments later, their baby girl was brought around the curtain. The midwife handed her to Jack and he held his new daughter close to Elizabeth.

"Hi there, sweetie" Elizabeth said as she looked at her. "She looks like Halley doesn't she?"

"Yes, she does."

The tiny bundle in his arms felt weightless. He didn't ever remember Halley being that light.

The midwife came to take her back. "We'll just put her in the heating crib for a little while, just until you get stitched up, Mrs Thornton, and moved to your room. Then you can hold her for a bit longer."

Jack stayed by Elizabeth's side, holding her hand.

"I can't believe you made it, Jack. I never expected … I can't …" The emotion overwhelmed her.

"Sssh. It's okay. I missed you so much." He leant in to kiss her again.

Her hand cupped his face as she stared into his eyes. He held one of her hands tightly in his.

Shortly after, the curtain came down and Elizabeth was all covered over and they began to wheel her back to her room.

"Jack?" she called to him.

"I'm right here."

The midwife pushed the new baby's crib behind them. Jack looked down at his new daughter, amazed at how perfect she looked. Even more so than Halley.

"Her head is so perfect."

"That's because she was born by a caesar. She didn't get squeezed through the birth canal."

When Elizabeth was wheeled into the room, she was impatiently waiting for Jack to reappear. He rounded the corner with their daughter beside him.

"Jack. Is she with you?"

"Yes. She's here."

"Can I see her again?"

"Of course."

Jack wheeled the crib right up close to Elizabeth's bed side before he lifted their baby out.

"She is beautiful Jack. Are you disappointed she's not a boy?"

"No."

"I thought you would be."

"No. It just means we can have another perfect baby boy later."

Elizabeth gave a small laugh. "I don't think so. We're done. Two is enough."

"Now might not be the time to discuss it" Jack said with a laugh.

Elizabeth put his arms out to him.

"Are you okay to hold her?" he said as he moved closer to her.

"Yes, so long as I don't move too much."

She took the baby into her arms and at that moment, the little girl yawned. Perfectly.

"Oh, she is so cute. What are we going to call her?" Elizabeth asked, not tearing her eyes away.

"What was it between? Grace and Annie?"

"Yeah. I'm thinking Grace or Gracie to differentiate her from my mother."

"Gracie Anne?"

"Perfect."

"She is just that."

Jack reluctantly tore himself away from Elizabeth and Gracie that night and went home to have a shower and a good night's sleep. Charlotte was already there with Halley. Jack crashed onto their bed and was asleep in seconds.

The next morning, he woke up excited to see Halley but it was not the reunion he was hoping for. She was timid and shy with him. Charlotte drove them to the hospital but Halley wouldn't go with Jack. Whenever he would try and pick her up, she would start kicking and screaming much to Jack's disappointment.

They walked into the hospital room with Charlotte carrying Halley. As soon as Halley saw her mother, she began crying for her, despite Elizabeth being unable to take her as she was nursing Gracie. Neither Charlotte or Jack could calm her so in the end Elizabeth had to stop what she was doing and hand Gracie to Jack instead.

Halley wrapped her arms tightly around Elizabeth's neck and wouldn't let go. She had no interest in her newborn sister.

An hour later, Jack tried to take Halley from Elizabeth but she was impossible. Halley was confused and upset and just wanted to stay with Elizabeth. Elizabeth's heart broke at the sight but Charlotte assured her, she would be fine. Charlotte took Halley home and sent Elizabeth a photo an hour later of Halley sitting up in her high chair enjoying a chocolate biscuit with a big grin on her face. Elizabeth couldn't believe it was the same child.

Jack was reserved afterward and wouldn't say what was bothering him. He lit up when he held Gracie. Elizabeth drifted off to sleep listening to him singing their baby girl to sleep. When she woke, he had nodded off in the armchair in the corner of the room and Gracie was asleep in her crib. He looked exhausted. Elizabeth called out to him, trying to wake him up. Jack snapped to attention, staring at her in a daze.

"Jack, get a cab home. You need to rest and spend some time with Halley."

"She doesn't know me Beth."

That was why he was upset. "You have to give her time. She's not even two. You need to remind her who you are by spending time with her."

Jack nodded slowly.

"Go home, Jack. Get a good night's sleep while you can."

Jack relented, standing up and moving toward her. He leant down to give her a big hug before he pulled back, leaning down to kiss her before he moved away.

"Good night, Beth. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Jack."

The next few days were hard. Jack tried to spend time with Halley but she shied away from him every time. When Elizabeth came home, it got worse. Charlotte had left but now Halley relied on Elizabeth even more.

"Daddy can read you a book. Sit with Daddy."

But Halley would scream for her. Within a few days, it was wearing all of them down. Jack and Elizabeth didn't know what to do with her.

One morning, Jack had enough. They were at home so Jack picked Halley up and carried her kicking and screaming to the car. He drove her down to the lake. He took her out of the car, where she still screamed for Elizabeth. He carried her down to the path along the water until he found what he was looking for a short distance away.

"Stop crying Halley or you will scare the ducks."

She quietened for a moment.

"I have some bread for you to feed them but only if you stop crying. Only big girls can feed the ducks."

She looked at him and looked back at the ducks and she stopped crying.

"Ducks?"

"Yes. Would you like to feed the them?"

She nodded eagerly.

"Yes please, Daddy?" he prompted.

"Yes please, Daddy."

Jack pulled out some bread for her. Handing her a few pieces at a time so she could throw them. She watched in awe as the brown ducks fought over her pieces of bread.

"More?" she asked him.

Jack raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to ask him properly.

"More Daddy?"

Jack would forego the 'please', so long as she said his name again.

When they ran out of bread, Jack was worried that she would have another tantrum, but she didn't. Instead he walked her to a swing and he pushed her for a while and helped her up and down the slide. She played for a long time and was beginning to tire so Jack put her up on his shoulders. Halley held him tightly as they walked back to the car. When he got her down, he gave her a big hug and she didn't pull away. That was the turning point.

"She really didn't like me much when I returned then?"

"No. Even with all the photos I showed her and the Skyping while you were away, she didn't understand. As far as she knew, you were just a stranger."

"So it took a few weeks?"

"Yes, two or three for her to be normal with you. It was a hard time, but luckily Gracie was an angel of a child. We were very lucky."

"We still are very lucky" he said, putting his hand on hers. She beamed back at him. How he could still make her feel so special she didn't know.

In the afternoon, Phillip was having his nap and the girls decided they wanted to go swimming. Elizabeth and Katy helped them into their swimmers while Jack and Shane took them down to the water. Elizabeth and Katy stayed next to the tents so that they could hear Phillip when he woke.

Shane had blown up a massive swan inflatable and set it up on the water with a rope attached so that it wouldn't float away. They had it in the shallows so the girls were all climbing on and off having a great time.

Jack and Shane were sitting on the shore watching them play.

"Do you remember coming here, Jack?"

"Not really. We've been here a few times?"

"I think this is our third time with the families."

"It's a nice place. Very quiet this weekend considering the weather is nice."

Jack heard a big splash and glanced up to see the inflatable had shifted a couple of meters into deeper water. Jack counted the children.

He jumped up when he realised one was missing.

"Eve!"

Jack ran into the water. "Where is she?!"