So, ever since the chicken tender engines went on strike, no work was getting, and people were starting to riot and threatening to sue.

And the station master's like, "Uh, Boss? There's, like, a riot outside and people are getting upset."

And The Fat Guy's like, "No shit, Sherlock."

"Actually, there is shit. Some kid got tired of waiting, so he shat on one of the benches."

So, Sir TH heads over to the shed, and all I can think of the whole time is Shed 17(yeah, that one). But seriously, if you're into some horrifying shit that'll ruin your childhood, you should totally check it out.

Anyway, Sir TH is like, "Alright, motherfuckers! Get the hell out, and get to work before I scrap your asses!"

And Gordon's like, "Bitch, we don't know you! And if you don't get someone else to do our shunting for us, we'll keep denying your existence!"

So, despite his best efforts against plausible deniability, The Fat Cat knows there's nothing he can do but ask the bottom bitch.

And he's like, "Ok, Edward, since you're the nice guy, I'd like you to do exactly what I say without question."

And Eddy's like, "Uh, ok? I kinda do that anyway…"

"Exactly, and that's why I trust you with the shunting that your incompetent fellow tender buddies refuse to do."

"Have you ever tried swiping left?"

"Not that Tinder, wiseass."

"Right, an engine shouldn't be on a…dating app…or anything…"

So, Edward does the shunting and the tender engines come out, but they keep treating him like a little bitch and blow their steamy loads on him.

And Sir Flabs is like, "Jesus Christ, is this what you have to put up with?!"

And Edward's like, "Yeah, but there's really nothing I can do about it. They're all bigger and/or younger than me, so fighting back would just be stupid."

"Maybe alone it is, but it wouldn't be if you had someone to back you up."

So, Sir Flabs goes to an engine shop, and he picks out an adorable little green engine named Percy. Now, Percy seems like a child, maybe in his early teens, so even though he's not an asshole like most characters, he's still fuckin' retarded. If you don't believe me, just wait and see. If you don't wanna wait and see, you can blow me.

Anyway, they take Percy to the yard, and he starts working pretty well. And he does something even better when Henry tries to blow a load all over Edward, but Percy beats him to it and blows a load of his own all over him.

And Ed's like, "Whoa, that was awesome! I never thought I'd see someone with a bigger cumshot than Henry!"

And Percy's like, "You said he came from an abusive sugar daddy, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, that's the thing. I come from an even more sorrowful tale, a place that produces something far worse than sugar daddies: A Victorian workhouse. When you're as poor and young as me, you can't get anywhere in life if you don't produce as much jizz as you possibly can."

"Jesus, that's just…fucked up…"

"Yeah, but they helped make it better with a shit-ton of gin."

Aaaanyyywaayyyy, Thomas shows up to meet the newbie, and he's like, "Well, what do we have here? Adorkable design, completely pure and naïve personality, and something that isn't blue—you stick out almost as much as James, Kid."

"And that's…bad?"

"It is if you work with Henry."