Sorry for the slow update! I'm on holidays but will do my best to post a few more over the next few days!

Chapter 1 of 2 ...

(25/10/2018)

CHAPTER 55

Continued …

Jack's mind was reeling. Four children. He was going to be the father of four children. Moments ago he had been excited but now he felt like he was having a panic attack. His breathing was shallow and his mind was clouded.

"I don't know what to say."

Elizabeth reached over, putting her palm on his cheek, drawing his attention back to her.

"We'll be okay, Jack. Me and you together. We've got this."

"I don't know what I'm doing as it is, Elizabeth."

"Maybe but this might be the chance you need to remember when Halley, Gracie and Eve were babies."

"I hope so."

"I'm not saying it will be easy, but who would have thought after everything that happened, you losing your memory and then finding your way back to me, we would be blessed with another baby? We are so lucky, Jack. You have to see that."

"I do, it's just they're thinking of putting me back on active duty. I could be sent away again."

Elizabeth pulled back in surprise. "Are you sure? You had a major head injury."

"That's what I was told yesterday. It won't be for a little while still but they're happy with my progress so far."

"Jack, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now, this is our future" she said taking his hand and putting it on her stomach.

"There's really a baby in there?"

"Yes" she said, the tears in her eyes again. His eyes glistened as well and he leant in, kissing her again.

"I just can't believe all of this. It's …"

"A shock. I know."

"How far along are you?"

"About 10 weeks. Due at the end of April. Right between Gracie and Halley's birthdays. We will know with more certainty after the next scan."

"Are you … worried?"

"Honestly?" He nodded. "Terrified" she answered.

Jack held her hand tightly. They sat there quietly for a moment, thinking about how much their lives just changed.

"How am I supposed to go back to work now?" He spoke in a serious tone but his grin gave him away.

"I guess I better take you back" she said sadly.

"Stay there for a moment." Jack stood up and pulled out his phone, turning his back to Elizabeth.

"Hi Frank. It's Jack."

"Hi. Are we still on at 2?"

"Actually no. Something has come up at home. Can I reschedule until tomorrow?"

"That's fine. I hope everything's okay, Jack."

"Yes, I will tell you tomorrow."

"Alright. See you then."

He then texted Shane and told him he wouldn't be back and he'd give him a call later.

"All done. I'm yours for the afternoon" he said as he came back to Elizabeth, sitting back down beside her.

"Really?"

"Yeah" he put his arm around her back.

"Are you hungry?"

"I can't eat. I'm still in shock."

"It's a lot to take in."

"Have you been sick?"

"Just those headaches and dizzy spells. I thought they were from when I hurt my head a few weeks ago until I was talking to Viola the other day. Both her and I got terrible headaches when we were pregnant."

"So then you realised?"

"Yes, I thought I got the implant when Eve was nine months old for some reason but then I remembered it was just after Halley's fifth birthday. I thought I was imagining things. I tried putting my jeans on this morning and sure enough, they didn't fit."

Jack sat there and ran his hand down his face.

"Are you okay, Jack?"

"Am I okay?" he said laughing. "Not really but you're the one that I'm worried about. You said Halley and Gracie came a month early?"

"Eve was a week late. It should be fine. I'm actually more worried about the next week or so."

"Why?"

"Because I had a few miscarriages at about this time before."

"When?"

"Between Gracie and Eve."

"I don't remember that."

Six years and three months before (May 2012) …

Elizabeth's friend Sarah was getting married in a resort a few hours from home and Jack and Elizabeth had been invited to attend. Truthfully, Elizabeth was dragging her feet not wanting to go and leave her girls. They ended up leaving Halley with Charlotte for the night but took four week old Gracie with them.

Since Elizabeth had to disappear to feed Gracie every few hours, they decided to stay at the same hotel that the wedding was in. That way Elizabeth could go back to their room whenever she needed to.

Elizabeth did her best to stay for most of the wedding reception but as the night wore on and the music got louder it became too much for the baby.

"I think we should go, Jack. She's overtired. It's going to take us ages to get her to sleep as it is."

"It's fine by me. Let's go."

Jack took Gracie from Elizabeth's arms and after they said a quick goodbye to the bride, they walked out of the reception. Jack placed Gracie in her pram and they walked upstairs to their room. By the time they got there, Gracie had stopped crying and was settled although not asleep.

"You go in. I will keep walking her" Jack said.

"No, I'm fine. Let's go outside. I think it will still be quite warm."

Sure enough, the night was still and warm enough so they walked along the path that wrapped around the resort. After another ten minutes, Gracie was finally asleep. They walked quietly back to their room and decided to leave her in the pram instead of taking the risk of moving her.

Elizabeth slid the door shut between the lounge area and the bedroom, before she switched on the bedroom light. Jack watched her from across the room as he kicked off his tie and took off his jacket. She turned away from him, pulling the zip on her dress and easing it over her shoulders, when she felt him come up behind her. He eased the dress off over her hips and put an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. His hand pressed into her stomach. They hadn't been together since he left on his deployment which was over six months ago and his hands were making her melt.

She turned into him and their lips found one another. The kisses grew in passion and desire. She tugged his shirt out from his belt, making quick work of the buttons before she yanked it over his shoulders. Her hands went back to his belt.

"We can't Beth" he said holding her at arms distance away from him.

"What? Why?"

He looked crushed. "I didn't bring anything."

Elizabeth looked him in the eye as she pulled off her bra and briefs. "I don't care. It's been six months. We're not stopping now."

He looked her up and down for a second, before he grabbed at his own belt and pulled his pants off swiftly. His hands slid over her smooth skin, as she pulled him back to the bed with her. They made love hurriedly before they collapsed on the bed.

"Oh, I've missed you so much" Jack said pulling up, resting his head on his elbow as he looked down at her. He ran his hand gently over her skin. He hadn't touched her like that in a long time. His hand moved over her slowly. "I've missed loving you like that."

"You can love me like that whenever you want, Jack."

"I was waiting for you to be ready. I didn't want to hurt you."

"You could never hurt me" she said reaching up, placing her hand on his neck. She ran her hand through his hair at the back of his neck. "I've missed you too."

Six weeks later the fatigue hit hard. With Gracie still being up twice a night for feeds and Halley regressing and now needing a bottle in the early hours, Elizabeth was barely stringing a few hours together. She could barely drag herself out of bed but with two young children, she pushed herself to keep moving. When she got them both down for their sleeps at lunchtime, she would collapse on the bed and be woken by Gracie's cries.

Unfortunately, Jack came home one night to find her passed out on the floor and both children screaming.

"Beth!" he said worriedly, shaking her abruptly when he saw her laying there.

She stirred slowly and was surprised to see Jack hovering over her.

"What happened?" she said, rubbing the back of her head as she sat up.

"I don't know. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I guess." Then she heard all the screaming around her. She quickly stood up and was immediately struck by another dizzy spell and she staggered just as Jack caught her.

"Beth, what's wrong with you?"

"Just dizzy, I …"

Jack picked her up and carried her to the lounge. He sat her down and rushed off to grab Gracie and handed her over before he went to get Halley from the play pen. He went to the kitchen, grabbed a powerade from the cupboard and handed it to Elizabeth as she nursed Gracie.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jack asked, hovering beside her.

"I'm fine. My head is just killing."

"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No, Jack. It's not that bad."

"Beth, you collapsed. How long were you out for?"

"I don't know."

Jack was really worried. He didn't know how he could leave her with the girls all day on her own if she passed out. What if it happened again and Halley hurt herself? Or Gracie needed to be fed?

"You need to see a doctor. I'm taking the day off tomorrow."

"No, Jack. I'm fine."

"This is not negotiable."

The next day, Jack drove her to the doctor's. He sat in the waiting room beside her with Gracie in the pram and Halley on his lap.

"Mrs Thornton?"

Jack squeezed her hand before she stood to go in. She took a seat opposite the doctor.

"What can I do for you?"

"I've been having some fatigue and dizzy spells. I passed out at home yesterday and my husband found me on the floor unconscious."

"That doesn't sound good. Do you remember feeling dizzy on that occasion?"

"I actually don't remember anything except waking up on the floor."

"Okay and it says in your notes you have a newborn daughter?"

"Yes, she's almost three months old."

"And there were no complications from her birth?"

"No."

He checked her temperature and blood pressure which were both fine.

"Okay, we will start with some blood tests to eliminate a few things and go from there."

She went next door to the nurse to have some blood drawn.

"The doctor will call you to follow up late today or tomorrow."

Elizabeth and Jack went home. He fussed over her all day, making her put her feet up and rest. That wasn't hard. She fell asleep within five minutes of getting in the door and slept for most of the day.

She woke up to silence. She found a note on the kitchen bench.

"Text me when you're awake. I'll bring the girls back. Love you. Jack"

She pulled out her phone and texted Jack. She sat down on the lounge to wait for them. She heard the car pull up in the driveway at the same time as her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Mrs Thornton? This is Dr Jenson."

"Oh hi. Did you get the results already?"

She waved to Jack as he walked past with a sleeping Halley.

"Yes and it looks like we found what is causing the fainting and dizziness."

"That's good."

"Your red blood cell count, TSH, Iron, LFT results are all good. I added on a pregnancy test to be certain and it came back positive."

Elizabeth heard the list of tests but wasn't really paying attention to what the doctor said as Jack reappeared with Gracie. "Okay …" she said distractedly.

"Congratulations, Mrs Thornton."

She snapped back to the phone call.

"Sorry, what?"

"Congratulations on your pregnancy. The numbers indicate you are already seven weeks pregnant."

"What?!" she said again.

"Are you okay, Mrs Thornton?"

"Yes, but I must have misunderstood you. That's not possible. My daughter is only 10 weeks old."

"I assure you it is possible and it is the case here. You will need to go back to see your obstetrician for a dating scan."

Elizabeth stared into space and Jack was now sitting beside her looking worried.

"Ok, thank you Doctor."

She hung up the phone but didn't move even as Jack handed Gracie to her. Gracie was making a desperate sucking noise and as she latched on and the calm ensued Elizabeth looked at the baby in front of her.

Pregnant. Again. No.

"What did the doctor say?"

"Um. I'll tell you once Gracie is done. Where did you go?"

"Just for a drive. You were asleep for a long time."

"Sorry about that."

They sat quietly until Gracie was finished and had passed out in Elizabeth's arms. She picked her up and carried her to the crib that was still in the corner of the bedroom.

She came back to sit down beside Jack. She wrapped her arm through his and leant against his shoulder. She could feel the heat now as the tears welled in her eyes.

"Beth, what's wrong? You're scaring me."

"I'm pregnant, Jack."

Jack pulled away, looking down at her. "No, that's impossible."

"About seven weeks."

"But Gracie's …"

"Ten weeks."

Elizabeth didn't look up at him. She kept her head buried into his shoulder as he spoke.

"The fainting, the dizziness, the fatigue … it's because we're having another baby …"

Elizabeth didn't answer him.

"Ten months apart …"

Elizabeth took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Close. Yeah."

They both sat there stunned for a long time.

"You didn't wait and take me to the lake?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that."

"What are we going to do?" he finally asked, mirroring her own thoughts.

"I have no idea. I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed right now."

The feelings that passed through Elizabeth were not even close to when she found out she was pregnant with Halley. For her first pregnancy, she was excited and elated, nervous but over the moon. Even with Gracie, Elizabeth had been happy although slightly worried with the prospect once Jack was deployed. The third time was a huge contrast. She felt physically sick and anxious at the idea.

The following day, she felt marginally better about the pregnancy.

Three days later, Elizabeth had made her peace with the idea of being pregnant again.

One week later, she was starting to see the positives and not be so overwhelmed by the negatives. She stopped worrying about what their family and friends would think. Elizabeth was now excited to think how close her children would grow up, instead of being concerned that she would have three children under three. This way she could go back to work sooner, instead of having multiple breaks between her children. Since Jack had just returned from his deployment, it was unlikely that he would miss any of this pregnancy. That was a huge bonus, that both of them were grateful for.

Two weeks later, however, Elizabeth woke up with stomach cramps and just like that, the baby that she had been so anxious about was gone. When the doctor confirmed that she had indeed lost the baby, she cried. Not only because of the loss, but because of the guilt. The guilt at her own reaction when she found she was pregnant. Jack held her tight as she sobbed into him.

"I'm a horrible person."

"You're not a horrible person. You were just scared. We both were. That is understandable."

"Maybe if I had been more optimistic, I wouldn't have lost the baby."

"You cannot think like that. It's out of your control and it had nothing to do with your reaction. We both know it wasn't the right time to have another child."

"I know, but I do. I do want that baby."

Jack held her tighter. "Beth, I'm sad too but it hasn't worked out that way."

The tears overwhelmed her and she sobbed loudly, not being able to find her voice again.

To be continued …