So, James is like, "So, you're the new guy, right?"

And Toby's like, "Yup. Name's Toby."

"I don't give a shit. You're old and ugly as fuck, by the way."

"At least I never gave one of my coaches a black eye with my dick."

"That's it! I'm gonna fuckin' murder Gordon!"

So now, James is all butthurt and he fucks off to do his job, and he abuses some more trucks despite literally just being reminded about the other time he abused coaches. And he gets even more pissed off when he has to take a huge and dirty train, and this got me thinking more about James' character. Like, is it me, or does James just seem like a huge germaphobe?

Yeah, I get why most of you would argue that, "He's just a narcissistic cunt who cares about looking his best, and getting the most attention." And in most cases, you'd be right, but I think there's more to this than James lets on. I think he sees the fact that if people found out he's just afraid of germs, they'd see him as a huge pussy. And for James, that's not an option because he's already come so far and gotten covered in so many bitches that losing all of that now would literally be like hitting rock bottom.

Anyway, James pisses off the trucks so much that they reuse the plot from the episode where they fucked up Thomas, and push him down Gordon's Bitchass Hill.

And, I swear, as this is happening, James is makin' this awesome face that looks like Edvard Munch's "The Scream" is making a blowjob face.

And since James hasn't had a huge fuckup since his debut episode, he crashes into a couple of trucks filled with tar and gets with the stuff.

And then, the narrator's like, "Something sticky splashed all over James."(canon dialogue)

Do I even need to make the joke? It doesn't help that James' face is off screen when the narrator says this…then again, I think all of us would pay to see James get a facial.

And then, Toby and Percy show up, and Tobe's is like, "Well, what do we have here? This guy looks familiar, but I just can't put my finger on it."

And Lil' Green's like, "I dunno, it kinda looks like James."

"No, it couldn't be! James is a sexy red rocket, and this guy looks old and ugly as fuck. Wouldn't you agree, Percy?"

"Sure do, Dude!"

So then, they take James' dirty ass to The Big Cunt, and he's like, "Well, James, it seems only fitting for this to happen to someone like you. You're ugly on the inside, but now you're ugly on the outside, too."