Author's note: So uh. We're a mess here. Here's a pic of the cosmetics Sniper used so you could see this gay bastard. (note, his shirts supposed to be more pink and rhinestoned

It all started come Valentine's day. Engie got each merc an origami paper basket with candy, and a plushie. That was the start of the end of Sniper.

Most mercs reacted to the gifts the way they usually did. Pyro was happy, Soldier recruited it, Scout denied he liked plushes, Medic grinned creepily, hugging it, Heavy kissed it softly, Demo tucked it into his vest, and Spy commented about throwing it away. But Sniper was near tears over his. A little koala holding a heart.

He knew better. He knew Engie did that for everyone there, but his heart longed for the Texan still. He lazily played the saxophone in his van after dinner, glancing over to the basket. It was clearly hand made. Taped carefully, slightly wonky cuts. It made his heart hurt more. It embraced its humble origins. Sniper's fingers twitched.

He should return something. But… What? He's not exactly an artist, and he already sent his paycheck to his parents after buying himself some booze. Maybe he'll just… Observe Engie for a while. Figure it out.

So that was an awful idea. Engie just thought Sniper looked sick, picked him up and took him to the medibay. And that didn't help this bastard's gay heart at all. When Medic wasn't looking Sniper snuck out. So… Maybe he'll 'disguise' instead.

As soon as Engie left for the pub, Sniper exchanged his usual outfit for something a bit more Western. A light pink embroidered shirt with fringed sleeves (Sniper's own modifications), blue jeans, the best buckle Sniper could make in an anxiety-fueled crafting session, a cowboy hat he snuck out of Engie's stuff, and spurs over his existing boots. He looked in the mirror, frowning. He was too recognizable like this…

Slipping on a cheapish wig he got for a Halloween costume once, a fake mustache, and darker sunglasses, he deemed his outfit complete. He climbed out the window, walked to town and took a cab to the pub.

He entered, a few patrons turning to look. His spurs jingled as he swaggered confidently to the bar, sitting next to Engie. "Whiskey, neat." Oh fuck yeah, that'll impress him. And he's got that Southern drawl down pat! Sniper internally cheers.

Engie glanced over at the new arrival, though his goggles concealed that. "Mighty interestin' fashion there partner."

"Just got back from a rodeo." Sniper grinned.

"If I didn't know no better I'd say you was workin' there as a clown…" Engie chuckled softly.

Sniper downed his drink, starting to cough and sputter. "N- (cough) naw, I was just a spectator. I take it you've been to a few yerself?"

Engie slapped a photo onto the counter showing him with a championship belt "... You tell me, slick."

Sniper has a gay panic attack. "Now ain't that impressive? Yer pretty all right, Mr….?"

"Dell Conagher" He held out his hand to shake

"Dell Conagher…" Sniper echoed, kissing Dell's hand. Dell jerked in Sniper's grasp, laughing. It tickled!

"A-and your name?" Dell wheezed softly

Shit! Sniper did not think of a name! Panic! "... Caoo- Cassie! Cassie, that's me." 'Cassie' grinned nervously.

"Nice t'meetcha Cass." Dell ordered another shot of whiskey, downed it, and dragged Sniper towards the jukebox, which was a bit embarrassing, considering Engie is 4'11" and Sniper is well over 6 feet.

Dell popped in a quarter and turned on some surprisingly tolerable country music. "All right Hoss, how's about we play some darts?"

Sniper thought for a moment, but unfortunately, he's quite hammered. So darts are a great idea. Sniper grabbed a handful of darts and divided them between the two. "Y'go first, ma'am." He grinned, teasing.

Dell isn't amused "I ain't a ma'am no more. Never was." Dell throws a dart to punctuate his point.

"A- Sorry, I didn'-" Sniper dropped his accent in his embarrassment, before clearing his throat and trying again "Sorry 'bout that- I didn't know-"

Dell grinned, making Sniper's heart flutter "I know, Alex."

That's Sniper's name. His first name. He doesn't even remember telling Engie that. Terrifying. "H- Who's A-Alex?" I am digging my own can of worms, now I must lie in it.

Dell wheezed, patting his back "Y'can drop the act now, Slick. I knew it was you."

Sniper swallowed hard, his heart pounding "How long?"

"The whole time, honey." Dell chuckled "You ain't exactly a spy, boy."

Sniper groaned, sinking to the dingy floor. Engie sat with him. "Y'know, you don't gotta dress up all fancy-like just to talk with me."

Sniper pushed up both pairs of glasses to rub his eyes. "I w-was tryin' to… flirt with you…"

Engie looked surprised, before breaking into a grin "Honey, I've been flirtin' with you fer months now."

"No way- I woulda noticed that."

"Alex, what in Sam's hell didja think me gettin' you a koala plush holdin' a heart meant?"

"You gave everyone a plush-"

Dell cracked up, his laugh like honey. "You didn't read the tag then, huh?"

"The… Tag…?"

"I love you 'beary' much, Dell." Engie shook his head, pulling Sniper close. He kissed Mundy's face "Let's go home, Cowboy Casanova."

Sniper teared up a bit, beaming. He picked up his terrible Southern drawl again for a moment "Don't mind if I do, honey-buns."