From Order To Order
A SWTOR FanFic
By Bentarb Jade Bronze
Jaesa walked towards the safe house where her Master and the Apprentice were meeting. She knew she was defying Master Nomen Karr's instructions by coming here, but she couldn't stay behind and wait. She was the one this Apprentice – this Fenrir – was after and she was tired of these games. The behaviour of the Apprentice was… confusing. When he met her parents, he had them sent to Dromund Kaas to live in comfort and luxury under the Empire, but when he was on Tatooine, he killed Master Yonlach without hesitation. It didn't make sense to her, that a Sith would spare people on one occasion but not the other.
'The Sith are suppose to be monsters,' she thought to herself. 'Why does this one act so… erratically? He must be trying to unbalance me. That has to be it.' Happy with this idea, Jaesa continued through the swamps of Nal Hutta until she reached the safe house. There were three Imperial Soldiers standing outside, the one in front of the door moving aside to let her in. Going inside, she readied herself for whatever she was about to face.
When she entered the room, she saw a young man with long blonde hair tied into a tail – the Apprentice she presumed – sat on his knees in a meditative position with a helmet on his lap and a grey-furred hound-like beast laying on his left. It wore a tactical vest of some kind, and kept its eyes locked firmly onto her.
Behind him was an Imperial Soldier, stood to attention with his hands behind his back. His black hair was slicked back and his pilot uniform was surprisingly clean for a man on Hutta. Master Nomen Karr was sat tied in a nearby chair.
"Hello Jaesa," Fenrir greeted. "My name's Fenrir."
"I already know your name, Sith," Jaesa said disdainfully, approaching Fenrir. "Since there's no need for introductions, I'll get straight to the point. Your efforts to draw me out have been a success, now release Master Karr and surrender." The Apprentice opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Master Karr.
"Jaesa, what are you doing here!? I told you to stay put! How dare you defy me!" he chastised, and that was when Jaesa noticed how different her Master was. His voice dripped with anger Jaesa had never heard him use before, his eyes had turned the dark red of blood, and his face was contorted in rage. Jaesa's mouth opened in a silent gasp.
"Quiet!" Fenrir barked at him.
"My sacrifice for nothing!" Master Karr continued, ignoring the command he was given. "For all your power, you have understood nothing you stupid child!"
"What have you… done to him, Sith?" Jaesa asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "Has this been inside him all along? No, it can't be. No one can hide such darkness. Somehow you turned him mad."
"We fought, he lost, and this happened," Fenrir answered. "Look in his heart and see the truth." Jaesa paused to consider this.
"Master Karr taught me not to use my power as a crutch," she explained. "Only when it was clearly necessary. I have never brought it to bear on him, but… I guess it is necessary to do so." And so Jaesa put her hands together, closed her eyes, bowed her head, and peered deep into her Master's heart. What she saw disturbed her.
"I… I sense… pride and… envy and hate… and vengeance." The image her mind produced was not that of an ideal Jedi Knight. It was how she imagined a Sith Lord; cruel and . "No!" she exclaimed, breaking her concentration. "What Sith trick is this? I… I would have known if such darkness had resided in him!"
"How? You said you never used your power on him," Fenrir countered in a matter of fact tone. Jaesa opened her mouth to give a argument, but found that she couldn't muster one. The Apprentice that sat on the ground before her was right. She felt resolve leaving her heart, uncertainty crawling into its place.
"I… I thought I found something I could count on," was all she could say. "Jedi are… pure. You're supposed to know where you stand with them. Right?" Then Master Karr cut in.
"Jaesa, you're being deceived," he said. "Turn your power on the Sith, and you'll see!"
"Go ahead," Fenrir said, voice free from fear or reluctance. "Do it. Then we'll talk."
"Very well," Jaesa agreed, turning her power towards him, with some small part of her mind curious as to what the Apprentice wanted to talk about. She readied herself for a tidal wave of darkness and… was confused by what she actually found.
"I sense… I sense…" She paused. "Contradiction," was the only word she could come up with to describe what she was sensing. "You have much fury… and bloodlust." She imagined a feral beast thirsting for blood. "But also… kindness, mercy." She imagined a guardian standing strong against the darkness. "And… and…" Self-doubt. And fear. And loneliness. A child weeping for his parents. Jaesa had seen enough.
"No… no, this isn't right!" Jaesa exclaimed, confusion overwhelming her being. "You're… you're Sith. You're supposed to be a monster. This isn't right!"
"He is a monster, Jaesa," Master Karr said, as if he were a teacher annoyed at a child who made a mistake. "There is nothing else to it. No complexity, no intricacy. There is only pure evil." Jaesa wanted to believe her Master, she truly did. But looking at what was before her – the darkness within Master Karr, the kindness and self-doubt of the Apprentice – made that more difficult than any trial she had faced thus far.
'Is this what a Sith really is?' she wondered to herself. 'I've never met a Sith before now, I've only ever been told about them. Could the Jedi be wrong? Could… could I have been lied to?'
"You've seen my heart," Fenrir said. "I want to talk now." As the Fenrir looked at her, blue eyes bearing down expectantly, that was when Jaesa realized this had to be a trick. Annoyance replaced confusion as her face turned into a scowl.
"No. No, if I talk to you, I'll never be certain of the answer," she said. "The only choice I have is to fight you."
"Yes! Strike now, Jaesa!" Master Karr encouraged from the chair where he was bound. "Take the Sith down!"
"Defend yourself, Sith!" Jaesa declare, drawing her Dualsaber. As she did so, the hound got to its feet with a growl, the Soldier drew his blaster pistol, and Fenrir… Fenrir said a single word.
"No." Jaesa was taken aback, as was the Soldier. Even Master Karr was visibly confused.
"Wh… what did you say?" Jaesa asked, not believing what she just heard.
"No," Fenrir repeated, left hand on his pet's back to calm it down. "I won't defend myself."
"My Lord, what are you doing?" the soldier asked in slight panic, still aiming his weapon.
"I want to talk, Captain," Fenrir said to him. "Lower your weapon." As the Captain holstered his pistol – slowly and with a look in his eyes that said he thought this was a bad idea – Fenrir turned back to Jaesa. "We don't want to cause harm. Attack, and you'll break The Jedi Code." Jaesa's grip on her Dualsaber tightened, she thought on what to do, and reached one conclusion: the Apprentice was right. He was at a disadvantaged position, his weapons were holstered, and he was tense but not in a way that said he was planning to attack the moment Jaesa lowered her guard.
Jaesa breathed in, then out, and putting away her weapon, sat down in front of Fenrir, mimicking his pose. Master Karr started ranting at this.
"Jaesa! What are you doing!?" he asked furiously, spittle flying from his mouth. "Kill him! Kill him while you have the chance!"
"Captain, knock out Master Karr," Fenrir ordered. "Then wait outside. I want privacy."
"Very well, my Lord," the Captain said with a bow, before walking over to Master Karr, drawing his pistol, setting it to stun, and shooting him. As Master Karr slumped unconscious, Malavai walked out to join the other Soldiers.
"You must trust me not to attack you, to send your companion away," Jaesa observed as Malavai left.
"I don't," Fenrir corrected. "I just don't want him to hear what I say."
"What do you have to say that you don't want him to hear?" Jaesa asked. "Why didn't you want to fight me?" Now that she could get a closer look at the hound, she saw that its eyes seemed to be the same shade of gold that Darksiders eyes became. It was also wearing a sky blue collar with a name tag that read 'Moon-Moon'. She didn't think that was the sort of name a Sith Lord would give to their Pets, but the man before her hadn't been a typical Sith so far.
"If we fought, one of two things would happen," Fenrir began explaining. "One; you kill me, take Karr back to the Jedi, and gain nothing."
"What do you mean I'd gain nothing?" Jaesa asked in confusion. "If you're dead I won't have to worry about you hunting me down. Everything will be calm and peaceful again."
"Master Karr will still be obsessed with Darth Baras, Darth Baras will send someone else after you, you'll be punished for disobedience, and your parents will be tortured or killed." Jaesa tried to argue, but found once again that she had no words to do so. With nothing being said, Fenrir continued, "Outcome two; I kill you and Karr, tell Darth Baras I succeeded, gain nothing of worth, and your parents lose their child."
"Won't… won't you be rewarded?" Jaesa asked, knowing she couldn't argue with the statement about her parents. "You'll have done what your Master instructed."
"Any reward won't be a good as what I could gain by myself," Fenrir said. "That brings us to option three."
"And what is 'option three'?" Jaesa asked with a raised eyebrow.
"A few years ago, I met with two other people," he began. "We talked, swapped stories, and realized something: we were all unsatisfied with The Empire and all in positions to change things for the better." The gears in Jaesa's mind turned, her expression becoming thoughtful as she listened to what Fenrir said. "We came together and decided to do just that. We'd walk our paths, gain allies, and create a faction that would bring compassion to the Empire. Someone with your power would be a great help." Suddenly, everything clicked together for Jaesa.
"You planned this from the start, didn't you?" she asked. "Bringing my parents into the Empire, letting me use my power on you, refusing to fight. You want me to help you reform The Empire, so you tried to win me over."
"Yes," Fenrir answered.
"Than why did you kill Master Yonlach? If your plan is to make the Sith turn away from the dark side, having allies among The Jedi could only be a help to you, surely."
"I don't want to cast out the dark side," Fenrir answered. "Just balance it with light. As it is, The Empire will self-destruct. I don't want that, but I don't want to turn Sith into Jedi. And Yonlach was a threat. He taught other Jedi and those Jedi would fight my people."
"And you can't allow that," Jaesa finished, clarity filling her mind as she began to understand how the man in front of her thought and decided things. "But my parents weren't a threat, so you didn't want to kill them. But your Master would have punished you if you did nothing, so you sent them to live in comfort."
"And if you join me, you'll see them again," Fenrir said. "Do you accept?" Jaesa looked into Fenrir's eyes, sensing that he was made uncomfortable by the act. She considered her options, thought on how didn't lie to her, how he let her look into his soul without hesitation, and knew without doubt, that siding with him was her best option.
"Very well," she said, defeat seeping into her voice. "I accept your offer, and consent to aiding you in you goals for a balanced Empire, my Lord."
"Capital," Fenrir says, getting to his feet and placing his helmet back on his head. And so Jaesa's life as a Jedi Padawan ended, and her new life as a Sith Apprentice under the tutelage of the newly anointed Lord Fenrir began.