Chapter 9

Luka cant read this one

Luka stood above the abyss staring down, the abyss averted its gaze as the angry serbian glared down its quivering holes, it angered luka, it reminded luka of the old days. when luka wasnt a barbarian. when luka was just...luka Back before he wole to his rage. his eyes misted over with rage, and he thought back to the long ago. the true true and the great sundering that shook a country. he sighed. in pain? in regret?

Serbia 20 years ago

Luka sat in his room, zipping up a duffel bag, putting on a trench coat and fingerless gloves. Today was the day. years of abuse. being screamed at. laughed at, bullied, today was the day he got his revenge. he walks out, his family ignoring him as always he walked down the street. passerby rolling their eyes at his fedora. the uncultured swine. he trudged down to the building, a nightclub. the club was roaring. people dancing screaming in joy. luka pushed his way in. and the club went silent.

"OOOOOH LUKA STOP CRYING AHAHAHAHAHHA" the crowd laughed. they sneered at him, posters of luka crying hung on the walls, the humiliation he suffered here, the fanciest night club in all of serbia, Channel 10. unfamiliar faces stared at him, mocking him. his eyes started to mist up.

"LOOK LUKA IS GONNA CRY QUICK EVERYONE GET PICTURES AHAHAA"

above, on the second floor stood the mastermind, the great evil. the one who kept attacking him each time he tried to make them stop. its shadow slunk back to its office. and luka paused. "no" he thought. "this time. I need to get my revenge" luka was being stared at as he reached into the duffel bag and pulled out a boombox. people started giggling at his barbie pink boombox he stole from his sister. he pressed play.

"aaaall the other kids with the pumped up kicks better run better run outrun my gun." Pumped up kicks started blaring from the boombox as luka took the other objects from his duffel bag, an Ak-47, and an american made AR-15 with a bump stock capable of firing 10,000 rounds per minute and loaded with a magazine of over 20,000 rounds. luka started to hum along and screams filled the club as luka began taking down the staff, "BOOMBOOMBOOM RATTATATATATATA" his gunshots filled the air as he massacred the clubgoers, shooting the bouncers as he trudged towards the stairs. his real target was upstairs. he passed private rooms, pausing to toss grenades as he passed. police sirens wailed as luka started forward, a literal god of death. he ascended the stairs dropping his guns barrels white hot and melting and pulled his sidearm, a makarov. the gun of the people, still freshly wet from when luka gave it a kiss as is enforced legally by serbia.

Luka opened the door slowly, creaking as it revealed the mastermind within. "mwahahahaha...foolish little serbian. you think your crybaby ass can stop me?" the mastermind swiveled in its chair...revealing...a 6ft tall penguin holding a glass of wine in its flipper

"Welcome to my lair luka. Do know that I allowed you in. because...you cannot hurt me."

luka raises his makarov "YES I CAN" he fires 3 times. the bullets hit the penguin, then bounce off. "n..n..no. impossible" luka cried "makarov boolets kill everything"

Penguin dusts off her smudged tuxedo and grins "you are but a mere mortal human, I am eons. I am eternal. I am the grand druid. and you are a weak, little, pussy, bitch, ass, crybaby. so you killed some little customers, im alive. and you can never kill me"

luka stood tall, pulling out his patented kebab remover 9001 katana "I wont cry anymore." luka cried. tears streaming down his face he charged the druid queen. sword slashing down on the wildshaped druids flipper, *CLANG* *CLAAAANG* the sword bounced off as penguin blocked. he rolled. dodging a peck, he rolled again dodging her gunshots. he roars, voice cracking as he hits puberty and pierces her cheek slightly. she glares at luka, backflippering his face and breaking every bone in his body from its massive power.

penguin glanced at luka. his broken form shuddering with tears. "perfect" she thought "now I can get back to important things like ruling with an iron fist. and executing that traitor vladimer putin ahahahah" suddenly and with great timing, the walls of the club started to shake. a swat team broke through the ceiling screaming "FBI DONT MOVE" penguin dropped her wineglass "what" she started, but out of nowhere a chiseled ruff man riding a grizzly bear jumped through the ceiling "ahh. ms. penguin. I see you havent aged at bit" vladimer putin himself sat before her, his grizzly bear growled at her. "vlad...I shouldve killed you when I had a chance" penguin snarled as she drew a sword she lunged for the putin. he laughed, drawing a massive battleaxe from the bears back. "You foolish bird. you think you can stand before the greatest barbarian to live? I the putin?" he laughed and slammed down, axe cutting the sword to pieces, he kicks penguin away. and scoops up luka. "unfortunately Im not here for you flipper legs, this boy cant die here. so. toodles" vladimer snapped his fingers. his men saluted as he walked out. each pulling out detonators. the grizzly bear pulled one out as well. "all hail vladimer Putin" they screamed, activating the detonators and blowing up the club.

luka woke up from his stupor and saw vladimer putin holding him "no worries little one, just call me dadimer putin from now on.

20 years later

Luka sat talking to the abyss, "and that when luka become barbarian and kill dumb people and stuff. soon luka get revenge on the penguin. and then luka find god king putin. and become better than him"

luka killed the abyss and walked away. time to find a new adventure.