Luka trudged his way up the stairs, his bulging rippling muscles filled with power and impossible to restrain rage. His eyes glowed bright with his barbarian might, his hair, flowing in the breeze even though he was indoors. his nipples stood erect, dark brown. powerfully chiseled as if from granite, each movement caused them to cut through the air like a powerful spear. there was a chill. his loincloth restrained his hidden weapon, that no woman would ever touch again. it guarded his loins, his loinguard as he liked to call it. on his back was nothing.
"OH PUTIN FUCK" luka stopped and slapped his face. He forgot his weapon on the previous floor. his stupidity rose, crushing his feeble rage from warming him up he stood. on the stairs, his mind befuddled..
Luka shrugged
"oh well"
He continued up the stairs, his mind distracted, after what seemed like exactly 214 steps he reached a landing.
"luka know basic math, dont judge luka" he said aloud. as if feeling a presence asking questions.
upon the landing luka was shocked to read a sign, its contents...were disturbing
Ducks can and will commit rape*
"Luka...shocked...not disturbed"
his Serbian upbringing has exposed him to many animal orgies at the brothels after all.
he passed the sign, but another sign appeared, even more disturbing, almost...shocking
Duck penises are corkscrewed barbed monstrosities*
"but...yes. ok luka weirded out now"
luka ran past the sign, but yet another one appeared
ducks are always watching*
"luka done now, luka want out"
luka turned back towards where he came, an endless black abyss stared back
"...quack" a sound echoed from the darkness
a cold sweat began to run down lukas nipples
"l...luka gonna leave, luka not scared luka strong" he told himself, as he started running past signs
Duck penises are shaped to scrape out competing ducks sperm*
Male Ducks are all necrophiles*
Ducks have no sphincter, they shit as they consume*
Ducks will eat bird meat, consume and feed*
the Duck will find you, he will ride you*
Duck*
luka kept running, tears streaming down his chiseled abs and soaking into his loincloth
"Luka done. luka go home now" his terror filled mind was near its limit. never in his life had he ever experienced something so evil, so tragic, so unbelievably wrong.
he ran through the halls until he reached a dead end, a door, made of solid stone, designed by incredi- *FUCKING BLAM* the door blasted off its hinge. as luka ran through, his panicked mind racing. he was in a large room. across the way was an elevator, his adrenaline slowed down time as he stood there. panting, gasping for air as he dried his tears. he started to walk towards the elevator, the weird shit was over.
ding*
the elevator doors slowly opened. a single webbed foot stepped out. followed by a second one.
"Qonk"
luka stood there, frozen. a gigantic duck stood before him. above its head, a sign, *untitled duck moment, its soulless eyes laughing at him, its erection obviously visible from beneath him its corkscrew shape throbbing with intent as it dragged its schlong across the floor, feet slapping the ground as it slowly walked towards Luka.
Luka quickly looked around. no weapons, no furniture. nothing, NOTHING.
luka cracked his knuckles, time for a dirty duck fight.
"FOR PUTIN" luka cried and he charged the untitled duck
he swung his mighty fist and slammed the ducks chest, his fist brushing deep into the ducks feathers, remarkably soft, but impenetrable
"qonk qonk" the duck leered, as if hearing the narrator say impenetrable as it slapped luka with..uh...its...well...
*slap*
"LUKA KNOW YOU NO SLAP WITH WING, YOU DUMB BIRD"
Luka jumped at the duck again, ducking the duck...heh. get it...
His fist impacted the ducks mighty face. and his fist punched the duck with its own face. his fist face.
the duck reeled, its erection flopping around as it regained it's balance.
Luka pressed the attack. preparing to unleash a flurry of blows
"Qonk"
the ducks eyes glinted. and he twirled around spinning his body and thrusting mightily into lukas arm to unbalance him
*Wet whistling through the air noise*
the world stopped. the duck stopped, luka stopped, existence stopped. the narrator stopped.
'My son. It is time. You cannot allow this duck, to slap you with his erection. You must listen. for time is short. for you. You must concentrate. Focus hard, focus your energy, you must erect your power into your hand. and you must control it. keep it hard, long, and stiff. if you believe hard enough. an item should be made. to allow you. to draw your weapon. Now think Luka, THINK AND STOP THIS DUCK FROM COCK SLAPPING YOU ACROSS THE MOUTH WITH HIS TURGID THROBBING COCK, YOU'LL NEVER GET THE SMELL OF SHAME, AND DUCK DICK CHEESE OUR OF YOUR LOINCLOTH FAREWELL, AND GOOD LUCK.
luka felt the world start to move. the ducks pixelated member slowly whipped towards his face, but he could see, in the ducks eyes was a gleam of lust that told him that it was gonna find its way into his virgin luka hole and it wouldn't be gentle
he focused. his brain started to smoke, sending out a cloud of acrid smoke as he held his hands in front of himself. he thought about what he needed his hands started to fill with energy, slowly getting longer. too slow
"too slow, LUKA NEED NOW"
He began to shake his hands. pulling and tugging on his energy with both hands. teasing it to full size vigorously.
"faster, faster how faster"
luka thought of putin, his face telling him what to do
"oh putin. yes"
luka stroked harder, feeling the energy get harder, getting stronger. getting so throbbingly hard, he couldnt hold it anymore.
"Luka, DONE WITH YOU DUCK, YOU NO TOUCH" Luka began to monologue
time stopped slowing
"YOU WILL NOT TOUCH LUKA, LUKA WILL WIN. LUKA WILL STOP YOU." he continued his monologue
"The power of putin shall smite you down, you cannot withstand lukas power, it overthrow you, IT STRONGER THAN YOU" the monologue kept going too long
"YOU WILL DIE DU-Urk"
*SCKWALLOP SQUISH*
the ducks corkscrew penis twirled itself into lukas face, leaving a wet stain on his mouth
"EWWWWWWWW" Luka screamed. his face sticky, his energy charged, somehow he felt weird, like maybe it wasnt a bad feeling?
"no. bad luka brain" luka thought, as he unloaded his energy
a gleaming sword of light emerged, and he quickly sheathed it. the energy and its sheath made of energy faded away into nothing
"Nothing personnel duck" luka whispered
the duck raised its body. erection throbbing
"Q...QUACK?"
the duck paused. its body slowly getting cut, and falling into a pile of gore and feathers
luka wiped his face
"Luka smell like shame"
he shook his head. there would be time to unpack that later
"Quack?"
luka froze. turning around. a duck. no. a group of ducks...no...a literal army of ducks stood there, in the doorway. tiny, normal duck sized. but each of them packing heat thst would make a horse cry
"Quack"
the horde agreed
luka ran into the elevator and started mashing buttons
"no no no no luka say no close door close no no"
luka panicked as he heard the sounds of a thousand wet slapping noises invade his mind
"nope luka done"
luka snapped, punching a hole in the elevator, he continued punching until he revealed piping in the wall
"Nope"
luka broke off a pipe. steam filled the elevator and the ducks waited outside the steam
"Luka"
"mad"
a voice in the steam said
"quack?" a duck quacked quackingly
"PUUUUUUUUUUUTINNNNNNNN"
A battlecry echoed
the ducks prepared for combat
*ding*
the doors closed
the elevator left
the ducks stand there silently
"Quack?"