I…am out of shape. Being forced to run laps because I can't shut my mouth when I really know I should. I panted heavily, my legs feeling like they'd give out any minute. Hours and hours I'd been running, all because I told Levi to suck one for complaining that my room wasn't clean. It just slipped….it isn't like I intentionally meant to say it. Ugh….Ahna you fail at life. It's been four weeks since I've been back with the survey corps. I've barely even looked at Levi, let alone spoke to him…until today, our cleaning day.

"Quit running, we're having a meeting." Levi's voice rang out from the HQ doors. Oh for the love of God. Everyone gathered in the mess hall waiting on Erwin to show up.

"I can't believe you said that to Captain Levi. Are you crazy?" One of the newer Survey Corps recruits said. I think he said his name was Jean. "That's a death wish waiting to happen." I shrugged, not really caring.

"Levi doesn't scare me." I mumbled resting my head on the table.

"Maybe my punishment wasn't hard enough." Levi's voice whispered directly in my ear sending me through the roof.

"Don't sneak up on me!" I yelled glaring at him. He stood straight, his arms crossed over his chest.

"You're so hopeless." He rolled his eyes walking away, making me even madder. He was so infuriating. Commander Erwin walked in silencing everyone.

"So I have some ridiculous news. With everything that has transpired, the higher ups want all of the military branches to get to know each other better. They have scheduled a ball tomorrow night, everyone is required to attend. You don't have to bring a date, but every able body that can, will be there. I find this completely redundant but I can't back us out of it. The Survey Corps is at the brunt of a lot of scrutiny so I figure we can go, make an appearance and leave. Please do your best to be on your best behavior, I really don't want any bullshit hindering us from being allowed to do our jobs." Quite a few people groaned and complained quietly about having to go to this ball. I was so upset I couldn't even move. Damien would be there at the same time that Levi was there. Ugh I hope this ball goes well. I could feel the pit in my stomach get heavier at the thought. "Other than that, get cleaned up tonight. We don't want to not look presentable tomorrow." With that everyone stood up to leave. Everyone except me. I sat quietly, staring at my cup of water. This ball is going to suck. We have to dress semi nice, play pretend with a bunch of people we don't get along with, and then go home. If it was only that simple. What if Damien sees Levi? Would he confront him? Would they fight? Or would they ignore each other and save me from more misery? I sighed quietly, shaking my head.

"What are you worried about?" Levi's voice was calm, breaking the silence of the now empty mess hall.

"Does it really matter?" I ran my index finger around the rim of my water glass slowly, still thinking.

"Are you worried because your ex will most likely be there?" I hate Levi so much sometimes. He can read anyone.

"How do you know about my ex?" He shrugged.

"It's not like you kept your private life very private after you left." I arched an eyebrow.

"You kept tabs on me? Look at that Levi cared." He stayed silent for a few moments after my apparent sarcasm.

"I've always cared. You just didn't care to notice after you left." Ouch…was he being sarcastic or serious? I glanced over at his very serious face and sighed. My hearts going to give out if I keep feeling that all too familiar sting.

"It's not just my fault that I left you know. Don't blame it all on me. You didn't even care to notice how I was before I left. You were so wrapped up in your 'Levi is an asshole' world that you didn't realize how far you pushed me away until it was too late." He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"You don't get it do you? You were not the only one who was upset that you miscarried our baby. I may not have felt the physical feeling of all that pain, but I definitely felt the emotional side of it. I chose not to show it for your sake, but like you always do, you read into shit so deeply that you mistook my hurt for me supposedly pushing you away. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do to you. Don't you think that I wanted a family with you? Or do you think that I'm such an asshole that I couldn't possibly have a family?" He was overly honest and blunt….my vision blurred as I felt the hot tears pushing their way forward.

"I'm sorry you were hurting, but like always you get cold and distant when you're hurting and you ignore those around you. I was hurting horribly too…I needed you there. If that was too much to ask of you I'm sorry, but I needed to hear you say it was going to be okay. Instead you kept your back to me and acted as if nothing had happened. What was I supposed to think at that point?"

"Ahna this isn't about who hurt more than the other. We both hurt…and we both still hurt. You can hate me all you want but we both fucked up after what happened. Don't think it doesn't affect me still, because it kills me every day. The fact that I work so hard to preserve humanity is the only reason I keep pushing forward, so that others like us can have a chance at having families, or keeping what family they have safe. If it wasn't for that reason, I would've been titan food ages ago." I sighed loudly, wiping the tears off my face. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into his chair with him and just hug him. The anger…the hate…was dwindling…I could feel myself involuntarily warming back up to his presence.

"Levi I miss you." I blurted out accidentally. Ugh, not what I wanted to say at all in this situation.

"I miss you too Ahna…." I looked over only to see the slight pained expression on his face. He hates when I cry…with a passion, and I forgot all about that.

"I need to go. I can't do this right now." I stood up quickly making my way to the door. If I stay here any longer I'm going to freak out. Levi grabbed my arm tightly pulling me to him. "Levi stop please, I can't handle all this pain."

"I know." His arms wrapped around me tightly, and that familiar comforting feeling of being with him hit me like a freight train. Again the tears poured down my face as I cried into his neck. It was rare for him to hug, even when we were together. We stayed like that for what felt like eternity, but was actually until I stopped crying. I sniffled backing away from him, wiping my tears with my hands. "Go get sleep." He mumbled staring down at me. I nodded.

"Is it weird to be in the same building, sleeping here, eating here, training here, but not actually doing it together? Or am I just crazy?"

"You're crazy regardless." I glared up at him angrily. "But yea it is weird." I was going to regret this next part…

"Can I stay the night with you?" I could see the hesitation clear as day on his face. "I'm not asking to be your girlfriend and I'm definitely not asking for sex. I just need you close tonight. Sorry if I'm being cheesy." He stared at me for a good few moments before nodding.

"As much as I know we shouldn't, it's okay. Just for tonight though, tomorrow you're sleeping in your own bed." He stated leading the way out of the mess hall. I nodded, smiling. My face hurt, my body hurt – mostly from running, I was utterly exhausted. The HQ was silent, mostly everyone in their rooms asleep. We made our way up the stairs quietly, walking to Levi's room. The moment he opened the door it was like I came home for the first time. Nothing…literally, nothing had changed. I stared around the room taking it all in. The small table with two chairs to sit and enjoy tea at, the book cases against the walls, and the giant bed with the down comforters and a bunch of pillows; it was all the way I left it. My eye caught sight of the photo sitting on the night stand that we took when we were younger…and happier. All of these feelings were starting to come back…and I immediately knew I regretted this decision. In my moment of reminiscing, I hadn't realized Levi was already half undressed, laying his clothes like he always did, neatly over the chair near the bed. He stood in just his pants, looking back at me. "Are you going to get in or are you going to sleep standing up tonight?" I laughed lightly quickly undressing and diving under the heavy covers. I missed this bed so much. Levi slid in next to me, dousing the flame from the lantern by the bed. I wrapped myself in half the blanket happily, facing Levi, whose face happened to be quite close to my own.

"I never thought I'd be in your bed again." I teased. A slight chuckle/grunt escaped Levi's throat.

"I never thought you would be either, especially in a non sexual way." I rolled my eyes and playfully smacked his perfectly toned arm. He reached forward, pulling me against him roughly. My head fit perfectly under his, in the crook of his neck; our legs wrapped around each other's comfortably. "Go to sleep before I do something we both will regret." I smiled against his skin and nodded. I drifted off into a deep sleep, a smile on my face the entire night.