Another Auld Lang Syne
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Based loosely on the song Same Auld Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg and incorporates scenes from Food to Die For. Beckett meets Brent Edwards at her HS Reunion, delaying Caskett if not derailing it completely. Also, we may take liberties with the events and timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, Warning THIS IS AU, with only brief flashes of Canon.
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Previously
"I'm so very proud of you, I know that's a part of your life that is most hurtful, and I'm glad that you were able to reach out and put that program in place. You'll never know who just might emerge from that program, perhaps a Supreme Court Justice, or even President, all because you gave them the opportunity to follow their heart."
During the kiss, Gina felt the little soldier saluting, and looked at Rick with her devilish eyes, "See something you want Rick? It seems like little Ricky is saluting already"
Her answer came with one motion, she was in his arms, off the couch and being carried gently to the bedroom, where her careful planning paid off, within seconds they were having a therapy session or several sessions that lasted well into the night.
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Chapter 8
San Clemente, California
Via Escorial Drive
Casa Castle Estate
Next Morning
After therapy, several sessions she had fallen asleep in his arms, content, happy and totally relaxed for the first time in ages. She loved him but wasn't in love with him, that didn't mean she didn't enjoy the sex, God, mind-blowing sex. She knew that it was temporary, how long was that?
No one, not even Rick knew, but she knew that he would find his way back to Kate someday, and she had accepted it. She just hoped he wouldn't settle, he deserved better than what had been offered during their working relationship together at the 12th. If she had her way, she would have beat the hell out of Kate and her detective partner Esposito. They had been cruel, no other way to put it, and now, well now she would have to go through her to get a chance to hurt him again.
She lay with her head on his chest, awake, but keeping her eyes closed, enjoying every minute of his strong arm around her, feeling so warm, and comfortable. He lay, holding her tight, staring at the ceiling, content, and for the first time in a very long time looking forward to the day.
He knew just as well as she that this new arrangement was temporary, but as to how long, he wasn't taking advantage of her, he was going to do his darndest to keep her satisfied, lord knows she did him. She had been his wife, so why would it be so unbelievable that they could enjoy a robust SEX life, after all, she knew him better than anyone.
"I hear your mind spinning Rick, tell me what you're thinking, and please not that you're leading me on again," she caressed his chest gently with her gentle fingers,
"Well good morning to you too, No, I wasn't thinking about that, actually just the opposite. I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life, how we love each other, without being in love, and how great our lovemaking is without labels or expectations." He smiled, as he continued to hold her,
"That's a beautiful way to put it Rick, and no one, not me, not you, no one knows when things will change, so can we just enjoy it for as long as we can? I don't know about you but there's no one left on my bucket list to sleep with now she giggled,
"Thank God, you finally got it, I do love you, and to say I haven't missed the physical touch would be a lie, especially with you who seem to know every touchpoint to hit." She turned her face to his and kissed him gently.
He smiled, "you know people wouldn't believe this even if we told them, so we won't, I mean unless you want to" he stammered,
"Want to what, tell the world I'm making love to my ex-husband? If they can't figure it out by all the times little Ricky salutes me during one of our appearances, I'm not going to tell them" she laughed as he turned beet red.
"What can I say, he has great taste, and you do turn me on, now that the heart is free, and no guilt, hell I love it even more" he finally got out.
"So, I noticed, gosh how many times was it last night Rick, I need to soak in a hot tub today, plus we need to finalize the release date of Dr. M's book." She casually threw out,
"What? What do you mean Gina, finalize the release, I thought you were still editing, are you sure it's good enough?" Rick was shocked,
"Baby, all those times I asked you to clarify something, I had a recorder going so I went and made the edits, and do I think it's good enough, here are some comments from your web page from the target market we sent out." She was smiling with a grin that could have broken her face.
"You have no idea how hard it is to keep a secret from you, Richard Castle, I'm glad I wasn't doing anything hurtful, you almost caught me several times."
Jumping from the bed, she opened her phone, projected it on the big screen and then showed Rick the comments from the market targeted audience.
"It looks like your fans don't care if it's cops, superheroes, or doctors, they love you." She bubbled,
Rick followed her out of bed and paused for a second as he reflected on the source of and his inspiration for the book. He then thought, Geez, Gina is reliving Richie's death all over again, what an ass I am, as he became flush and shaky,
Gina put her arm around him and led him to the couch, "Rick, calm down sweetie, it's OK, you didn't hurt me, I know who you based Doctor M on, and if anything it made me so very proud of you, him, and of course Richie. Doctor Mike, was a great friend, even better doctor, he worked so hard to save Richie, so I know sweetie, I know."
Rick began to come around slowly, "Gina, I didn't think, I mean I'm sorry, that had to bring back horrible memories for you, God, I'm such an ass."
"Doctor Michael Sayer was a hero Rick, not only for what he did for Richie but remember how he died, on his day off headed into the ER to help an overload of patients when that damn truck went left of center and hit him.
"It's not your fault about Mike, nor about Richie, at least when I read this, I'll remember the love you had for both, enough to base characters on them which only I know how deeply you care to do that.
"I'm fine, really Rick, it was a surprise but when I read the first chapter, I knew it was going to be a smash, just wait and see. I miss them both, but like Richie said, 'live while you're living, death lasts a long time'.
"I guess I have officially grieved now, with our physical arrangement, and reading and editing a book about a doctor who attempted to save my late husband's life. It gave me the freedom Rick to remember the simple words Richie said, life is for the living, so thank you for setting me free from my grief." She reached up and kissed his cheek, patted his arm and then said,
"Now we have work to do, we need to settle on the cover art, and you need to write the dedication, then it goes to press. It's true you never do visit your own website, we announced a release date of August 30th, three weeks away.
"You said something about Christmas and New York, so I thought we could, and this is just me thinking out loud, you could do a couple of signings at the regional stores who have backed you for so long. I know Diane at B&N had called me four times, pleading for any kind of appearance by you.
"I actually asked her if she loved the books or you, and she said both, and this is a quote, 'Don't think I don't know why you are hesitant to bring your man around Gina, but he could put his shoes under, on, or in my bed any time of the day.' I told her she was lucky I needed all the retail outlets, or I would do more than yell at her, and we both laughed.
Rick blushed, then changed the subject, "I need to work on the dedication," as he got up but not before Gina caught him by the hand,
"I'm sorry did I overstep, I mean it was just a thought about Christmas and New York, I mean, *"
Suddenly she felt his lips gently on hers,
"You didn't overstep, setup the key stores if you want, but update the cover art, I hate that poster they had with me with Beckett, I mean I don't look like that anymore, do I?"
She laughed, "God No, look at you, washboard abs, 45 pounds lighter, and even your hair is longer and styled differently. I'll take care of that sweetie, already got the pictures picked out for the cardboard lifelike displays," She kissed him quickly,
"Go finish the dedication and we'll get this settled today, and thanks for not getting upset with me Rick, I know this book means a great deal to you, well us. I know why you started writing it, and then when Mike suffered his fate, I wondered would you complete it, I'm glad you did." As she walked away to make her calls, Diane was going to get her Christmas present early.
Rick was in his office, trying to come up with the dedication that would be appropriate but not depressing, he had typed and deleted several lines, and then just thought, what Richie had told Gina, and Mike him. His fingers flew across the keyboard,
"This book is dedicated to two special men who taught me that life is precious, live it while you can, death lasts a long time. Even in death, everyone deserves dignity, it's not an option but a requirement, Thanks for the great life lessons, Richie and Mike may you both rest in peace, see you on the other side."
He printed it off, then went to the living room to get Gina's approval, as he said, she had brought him this far and he wouldn't think of making a move without her.
"Gina, can you read this please, let me know if I need to re-work it, OK? He asked timidly,
She took the paper, read and instantly tears fell from her eyes,
"Oh God Gina, I'm sorry, I'll change it," he said sadly,
"No, you won't, not one word, it's beautiful, and just what Richie and Mike would like, thank you, Rick," she got out between her tears, then in a flash, Rick was holding her, just as he had when she needed him the most. He held her until her sobs subsided and his shirt was wet from her tears, then he lifted her face to face him,
"Hey, it's OK to still love and miss him, I understand" and when he finished speaking, she kissed him gently,
"I can't fool you either can I, I know it may be stupid to cry over someone who has been gone, well anyway,"
"Gina, you cry over Richie, ANYTIME you want, he was your soulmate, I know what that means now, OK?"
"OK, hey let's get to work on the schedule, then grab some lunch, OK?" Gina said to get off the topic that would keep her crying all day,
"Sounds like a plan, after you" as he pointed to his office.
Xx
Kate Beckett Apartment
New York
Same Evening
Kate had returned home after speaking with Lanie who hadn't pulled any punches letting her know what she thought of her actions, but she offered to forward an apology to Rick. Now the hard part, how do you tell someone you're sorry, and not that you have feelings for them all in two pages. At the beginning Kate remembered Rick's voice in her head as he always said, "the story starts at the beginning, anywhere else you lose the reader."
She sat down, curled her blanket around her, and began to just put her thoughts down as they came to her. She knew that she had to be concise, and clear or Rick would just treat it as another sob story from her. After several attempts, 3 cups of tea, and a shot of vodka, things hadn't gone well, she was finally ready to do the final edits on the letter.
"Dear Rick,
This is brief, I only have two pages to apologize to you for the treatment I dished out, and worse yet allowed Esposito and Deming to do so also. I'm very sorry, I've thought of those weeks back then a great deal since my divorce, and while we're on that, thank you for not holding anything my ex-husband did, you must, believe me, I had no knowledge and feel totally stupid.
"I'm a cop, and he pulled that crap right under my nose, his actions hurt you, me, and several others, so once again I apologize for any hurt those actions caused you. Back to the reason for this letter, I know I hurt you before the Brent saga and the biggest mistake of my life. I know I led you on at times to slam the door in your face when you responded, I am sorry, please forgive me.
"I know also that you went out of your way each day to start mine off on a happy note, your coffee each morning was our greeting, almost our silent acknowledgment of friendship, or more, and I'm so sorry I never properly thanked you for making my happiness a priority in your life.
"It's hard to believe it will soon be three years since you left the station, three years since I have spoken, or heard from you, I'm sorry, please forgive me for not making any effort to talk to you before the wedding, and tell you why I did what I did.
"In short, he's a con man, and I was so gullible. He pulled out the old memories and made me feel safe as I did when Mom was still alive. You were my partner, in every sense of the word, and you deserved to hear what was happening from me, I failed you, so I ask for your forgiveness.
"I have continued to read all your books, including the final Heat novel, thank you for giving our characters the ending that I didn't deserve. I was pleasantly surprised, when I read how you ended us, well Rook and Heat, but everyone knew they were the fictional us, so again Thank You.
"I just discovered, (that's a story for another time), I was still getting emails from your web site, and Barnes and Noble so I pre-ordered your next book, I know it will be another bestseller. IF you get to New York to promote it or do any signings, I would really like to have a cup of coffee with you to tell you how sorry I am in person, please consider it Rick, please.
"Well my two-page limit is nearing, so I will just close by asking you not to shun Lanie, she's just trying to help one of her friends apologize to another she loves dearly, it's not her fault, so please don't cut her off from your communications.
"I sincerely wish you continued luck and success, and once again, if you could spare just 15 minutes for me, I would appreciate it, if you ever get back to New York. Give my regards to Gina, and take care of yourself, you're special to many of us,"
Always,
Kate,
She had just finished proofing it and copying it to the stationary from her legal pad when her doorbell buzzed,
"Who the hell is showing up now," she thought as she grabbed her gun, and proceeded to the door,
Looking through the privacy viewer, she saw Lanie standing there with a pissed off look on her face, as she opened the door the ME barreled through it and sat two coffee's and two bear claws down.
"Lanie, what the hell are you doing here at this hour, and why the coffee and bear claw?"
"Did you eat?" She asked flatly
"I'm sorry, what?" Kate asked,
"Simple question Kate, did you or did you not eat?" Lanie was determined
"I was just about to, I had to do something" Kate finally said
"Well you can give me the letter, I'll mail it on my way home but before I go, you are going to at least have this, I swear, I love Rick more every day I deal with you. You're worse than a little kid, trying to keep up with the basics, eating, drinking water, what the hell is the matter with you? Do you want to get sick?"
"What do you mean Lanie, I take care of myself, what's Rick got to do with this?" Lanie was already giving her the eye,
"Oh, those bear claws, him making an excuse and paying for the precincts lunch just to get you to eat, you couldn't have been that blind Kate, my God everyone else did." She was letting her have it.
"Lanie" Kate exclaimed,
"Oh don't Lanie me, that man would have tried to move the earth for you if you asked him to, I just hope you made that letter count, I hope Rick forgives me, but girl, you need help." Lanie lamented
"Thanks again Lanie, I told him in my letter not to blame you, you were just trying to help me make a wrong to one of your friends right, hopefully, he'll listen." She said, as the bear claw came out of the bag and was nearly devoured in three bites, she was hungry after all.
"Give me the letter, I'll let you eat in peace and Kate?"
"Yes Lanes,"
"Don't get upset if he doesn't answer, you messed him up pretty bad before he left, think about how much it would take to get him to move all the way to the other side of the country. I'll see you tomorrow, Goodnight" as she closed the door after collecting the letter,
TBC