My school and the friends over there, my undisturbed time with Edward, a little girly time with Alice, never ending physiotherapy with Carlisle, some sports with Charlie, spending some time at Cullen mansion with Esme – it all seemed a regular routine now.
Saturdays seemed to be boring as they almost altered my routine, and so were the Sundays.
With exams near us and the fact that I had already missed some lectures, we spend a good part of that day studying – actually I studied while he taught me. I was getting good at trig and that was a big relief for me as well as him. I sighed happily every time I calculated the answer and he laughed darkly at my relief. One day he had ordered me pizza so I didn't have to cook food. At first I tried to deny but quickly changed my answer to "Yes, please! I am tired and I don't think I'll cook anything good today." He smiled angelically and ordered me some.
That was how we spend the Sunday too, except for my physio. Carlisle was angry with me when Edward told him I was working too hard by climbing stairs. I looked at Edward with disbelief which made him smile like a fool. Carlisle could just shake his head in annoyance. "Really, Bella, it's no use of your therapies if you outdo yourself. Just because you gave a speedy recovery doesn't mean you must walk more. Don't forget you had a broken bone." Both he and I flinched. "I'm sorry but being a doctor, I have to speak the truth."
"I promise to take care, doctor." I hoped this would lighten his mood.
It did.
"We promise." Edward corrected. I smiled.
Carlisle smiled, talked silently with Edward with their stupid habit of conversing with Edward's power, and went for his office.
I glared at Edward and he knew he was in trouble.
"You!"
He smiled down at me and looked intently in my eyes, I knew he was at fault but not entirely, yet I couldn't resist the power of his eyes. And he knew how to make up his way.
"Yes?" he dazzled me in no time.
"Err..." My eyes were distant, my cheeks felt more warm and my heart was definitely hammering in my chest.
He laughed and kissed me, and the topic of him being a complaining freak never came up.
Stupid vampire and his stupid traits!
.
.
.
The next few days – or weeks to be precise – were the same.
School, Cullen mansion, home, everyday was almost the same for me.
The school friends were good now with me – I usually sat with them and Edward with his family – while they gossiped around and told me all the things that they thought I missed. Though Mike was still pissed of by me for entering in a relationship with Edward, when I told him that it doesn't matters whatever he says, he backed off and looked after his relationship with Jessica. Lauren didn't accuse me every now and then – well verbally, and I was fine by that. Jessica started to hang more with me but I got her hidden meaning – she was trying to get close to Edward. He had told me that and made me laugh. Edward talked to Angela and Ben which usually pissed off the others – Alice said it was good to see their stunned faces when Edward laughed with Ben over something.
Exams had started the next day and ended within the week. Luckily I was prepared for them now. Everyday I walked to Edward after exams with a big smile, exulting that my exam had gone so well, he would always say 'You had worked hard' but he was equal partner in the credit. I shuddered to think what would have happened to my results if Edward didn't help me in studies...
Also it was due to exams that Charlie let him in till eleven, knowing that now he was tutting me. In the span of this week, it felt like Charlie was opening up to him too, liking me enough for my closeness with me wasn't affecting my studies... But everytime at exact eleven his grunts told a whole different story and his deadly look while Edward sat with me always made me wonder if I am guessing right about Charlie. He was so hard to guess.
But the things at home were the same, but still a way too different.
Charlie was being good with Edward too and that was a relief, and by the look of it, he was ready to give Edward one more chance – willingly. I started to understand Charlie more and soon my words felt more right to me: Forks is my home. We played chess, joked, watched sports together – he watched it while I sat beside him...
My time in Cullen mansion went too fast, I thought.
Esme always made me delicious food I could not say no to, Alice helped me in my girly time and also bought me various clothes and accessories. I tried to say her no many times but she never listened and I kept silence since then – it was a lost cause anyway. Emmett kept teasing me and running pranks on me every now and then, like saying I broke his favourite vase by my clumsiness or how he lost his bet because I didn't stumble. I always got mad at him but when he laughed his booming laugh I all but forget his pranks. He was the brother I wished I had.
And so was with Jasper. He wasn't quite inviting towards me, the reason being his closeness with me which made him more thirsty, but he would make things calm for me by his gift and I knew he liked me too. Alice always sided him and said, Jasper has a suspicious nature, please ignore that but once you know him he is one of the most wonderful person you've ever met. I believed her easily.
Rosalie was not verbal about me, neither she was good to me. Just neutral. Like I didn't stay at her home almost every day. I got used to it. Everytime she looked at me, I smiled back. She didn't smile back, just nodded and went the other way.
Carlisle and I built a whole new understanding. He wasn't just my doctor now when I was in physio therapy. He used to crack jokes and make me laugh. Edward was happy to see me and Carlisle together this way – he said it meant so much to him that Carlisle was so welcoming and loving towards me.
But the one thing that I was happy didn't change was my time with Edward. If possible, I felt like I fell more and more in love with him with each passing day.
Every moment spent with him was delightful, tremendous, buoyant.
And especially the nights.
Every night he stayed with me, we talked about nothing and yet everything, laughed over things, read books and poems, played games...
I never realised how much I had started to depend on him when it came to my slumber. I couldn't sleep now until I felt his hard rock, icy body beside me, his arms draped over me like a blanket, his lullaby slowly lulling me to sleep every night.
One night when he was out for hunting, I had been awake for most of the night, and when I slept, I was relentless. I could only sleep properly when I felt his body beside mine.
It was so unhealthy, so unlike me, and yet I couldn't bring it in myself to deny it or stop it. I wanted it to go forever like this and never stop.
My nightmares had stopped now but still Edward worries that I may be hiding it from him just like last time. And I didn't like to mention it in front of him that my cast was not less than a nightmare to me.
Every day I went to Carlisle for my therapy, I wished he would let me go now and the cast will also be fine for good, but never such happened. Carlisle had promised that my physio sessions will stop after a time but that time never came. Edward had to put so much effort in making me smile then – which was actually small as he didn't have to do much except for making faces.
Which made me fall in love with him even more.
But he had a very stupid liking of surprising me every time.
Just like this night when I was cuddling by his side, relaxed that now the exams were over, and he was running his fingers up and down my arm when suddenly he spoke. "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?"
It was the month of May, the exams were over, school had ended and it wasn't a school night.
My answer was obvious. "Nothing much."
"Okay. So that means I can take you on a date?" I looked at him like he was a big creep or jerk. "What?" He shrugged and smiled innocently. "I never really took you to a proper date."
"I highly doubt it, Edward."
"What? That I never took you to a date or that I want to give you a surprise by taking you to a one?"
"Both." I shrugged.
He feigned hurt. "Okay. So let me make it up to you then. Be ready by seven. I'm taking you for a special occasion."
"I really need a bigger hint than that, Edward. Charlie would ask me and I have to dress accordingly. And you know it already that I hate surprises." I added for his benefit.
"You needn't worry about either one. I've already talked with Charlie into it – he is ready and asked Alice to take photos of you when you get ready. And Alice had already planned what you will be wearing tomorrow."
"When did all this happen?" I have to know that. Charlie would never abide my Edward's wishes if it weren't for me.
"Just a few days ago. To be precise, the day before yesterday." I looked at him waiting for more but it never came. "I'm not giving you the whole story so you dig in and spoil the surprise."
"Dang it!" He laughed. "But seriously, how did this happen?"
"We know how to get our ways." Was all be said.
"Stupid, stupid vampire!" That was for both of them.
He laughed again and I joined him. "Be ready."
"Can I have another hint?"
"It's just a thing which I know you should have. It's pretty special."
His answering smile was gorgeous, but that wasn't the reason my heart sped its beating.
I has promised myself that I will never think or ask him about my change until he was ready, but by the look of it, the mention of special occasion made me wonder if he was ready now?
There was just one thing which I wanted to have. An eternity with him! And it is a pretty special occasion for me. So is he really thinking about changing me? And if yes, how did he changed his mind?
But the main question was – was I ready?
With my whole heart I knew I was. He was more than anything that I needed, wanted. And an eternity with him was a wish come true for me, But that would also mean I have to leave mom and Charlie...
Charlie...
We have just gotten ourselves in better terms than we had in the last sixteen years of my life. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to break his heart just like I did a few weeks ago...
It was a big dilemma for me. For the one thing I choose that is too much dear to me to lose, I don't want to sacrifice the other. Selfishly, I wanted both.
It was middle of the night, just I and Edward. Sitting along a bench, having dinner. In a heartbeat he was near me and started kissing my neck. I tried to close my eyes to feel him but Charlie came from nowhere and sat in front of me, his eyes pleading me to not listen to him. "Stay with me!" was he had said.
"Dad..."
Edward shushed me and said, "It's for the best Bella." And bit me in the neck.
There was fire in my veins, fire which I wanted to water it down. I was paralyzed by the pain, but beside me Edward remained calm, repeating his words "It's for the best" while Charlie cried his heart out in front of me, begging Edward to release me from the agony.
And the fire was too much to bear. The pain was shooting in my veins like arrows. I screamed for life, for mercy.
I felt like I was drowning in the pain. And suddenly James vile laugh echoed in the hall we were in, happy to see me writhing in pain again.
Edward POV
She was shaking so badly in her slumber, a nightmare scaring her to death. I had tried to call her, said her name again and again, but she never listened. She just kept murmuring 'no' in her sleep, fidgeting helplessly.
This time I took hold of her shoulders and shook her shaking frame, hoping she would wake up. Her eyes fluttered again, but she didn't dare open her eyes. I shook her again, this time a little hardly and harshly that her teeth chattered, her whole body shook again.
It worked. She finally opened her eyes.
She looked around, as if not believing that she was safe with me in her room – her breathing still shallow and her heartbeat too fast for my liking.
How I would love to take away her pain so she don't have to deal with these anymore – I would gladly have all her nightmares.
She finally looked at me in the eyes, and the pain in her brown orbs made me want to choke. She was very much terrified about something.
"Bella? Bella?" I realised even I sounded strained. She still looked at me with pain, like she was inspecting my injuries. "Hey! It's fine. It's fine." I kept repeating as I ran my hands over her arms, trying to soothe her.
She again looked around and finally exhaled loudly. "Nothing happen." She said, but it sounded more like a question.
I wanted to know what did she see that terrified her like this.
"What happen love?" I asked as I tucked her hair behind her ear from her sticky and sweaty forehead. Her face felt so small, so terrified, I could only guess for one answer...
She shook her head and threw herself on me, hugging me tightly by my neck – for a brief moment I feared she may hurt herself by holding me this tight. She held me like her whole dear life depended on me. "Just a bad dream." She finally said after a few shallow breaths and flinched again.
I looked at her and could see in her eyes that it was more than that. She saw something too frightening... She didn't want to share it with me.
My suspicions were slowly confirmed. "James?" How I hated myself to say his name, to bring the memory of his vileness back to Bella. But the most disheartening thing was when Bella shuddered even more, silently answering my question.
I pulled her close to me in my lap, rocking her slowly to comfort her from the haunting memories. "He is gone! He'll never come back to haunt you. You are safe." I repeated again and again.
She didn't say anything, just nodded, but her hold on my neck increased.
Nobody of us talked. I just combed my fingers through her hair lightly to soothe her till she calmed down, and even when she did calm down I didn't stop.
Slowly her heart started to beat at a slow rate ad her breathing became deep and even. I smiled and sang her lullaby or some songs in her ear. She was asleep in my lap within no time.
I smiled, thinking about how fast things change.
A couple months ago, I was afraid to be with her, afraid she will leave me when she finds out my truth, but here we were, in her little bed, cuddling. She trusted me with her heart and that was more than I dreamt of. She loved me for who I am, and still wanted to be with me. Even when she had a nightmare about a vampire, she wanted to find comfort in my arms. I was being ridicule thinking I will be able to leave her. With every passing day, I realised it became more and more difficult for me to even think that. I wanted her with me, every second of the day.
"Sleep love." I mumbled and kissed her forehead. She sighed and found the junction between my neck and shoulder too comfortable.
I smiled. Because once her closeness made me ache for her blood, for her, but with each passing day I craved for her closeness. Her blood still smelled appetizing for me, but now I had a better control on myself. Now it was just her company I craved for.
I was afraid in the starting, after her accident, that now that I had drank her blood I would want more and I won't be able to stay near her – the only option I will be left with will be to leave her – but it wasn't the case. Her scent, her fragrance still maddened me, still made me ache for that little paradise I had where I got to taste her blood – both pleasure and pain – but that was just it. I didn't crave for her blood like that. I would rather deprive myself of any blood than see her in any such condition again. I wasn't that strong. She had said in the meadow that I was strong, and now that I look at her face I can say I agree with her. I am indeed strong – not enough to come to leave her for her own good – enough to fight my natural instincts even after so much and be near her with the knowledge that she was safe with me, or rather I wasn't dangerous for her.
When I knew she will not wake up, I made her lie on the bed and relaxed her fingers which were clutching tightly to the back of my shirt. She stirred and her eyes fluttered open for a second.
"Shh. I am here." I murmured and ran my fingers through her cheek. She smiled and nodded, shifting sideways so she can rest her head on the pillow of my arm. I chuckled. "I love you."
For the rest of the night, she slept peacefully, dreamlessly,
Charlie woke up in the morning and decided to look on her. I slowly jumped out of the bed and her window, waiting till he was downstairs. I moved back again but sat on the rocking chair in case if Charlie wanted to look at Bella once again before leaving. Once Charlie left, I settled properly on the bed. She again found her former position more comfortable. Her one hand clutched my shirt in her small hand, afraid I will leave. I smirked at her small traits – even when sleeping, she needed me beside her.
It was after nine when she finally woke up as the sunrays creeping inside her room through the window disturbed her.
"Good morning." I greeted.
"Hmm." She groaned and hid her face in my chest.
I laughed and kissed her hair. "You can sleep as much as you want. Charlie is not at home and so is Carlisle. And Alice and Jasper have gone for a hunting trip. They will be back by tomorrow afternoon. You are, officially, stuck with me, you know."
She peaked at me through her lashes and I could see the hint of smile at her mouth. She kissed my cheek. "The best start of the day with this terrific news. I should have asked for something else too."
"Yeah. I had the same thoughts."
It was quiet interesting watching her trying to do things on her own with no Alice to help. She hopped to the bathroom – she said she didn't want my help and I should wait for her upstairs while she freshen up – and I could hear her grunts as she worked herself up. She even roamed inside the kitchen – she was hungry and didn't believe my cooking skills, it was no good really still it hurt my ego considering she would rather hurt her leg than taking my help. But I knew that much already. She will hurt herself but never ask for help from anyone. It was one of her trait which I loved and admired so much.
After breakfast, she went for a bath while I waited patiently for her in her room. I heard her moan and groan slightly when she came out. I knew she was tired – her leg still wasn't fully recovered for her to hop the stairs to much.
I went to the stairs to look after her.
There she was standing, wearing an orange skirt with black sweats, her hair down and wet from washing – Carlisle had finally given her permission to wash her hair. She smelled amazing, mouth watering but in a whole different way, her scent heightened by the warm water and the strawberry fragrance of her hair.
She tried to take a step up and groaned again. I smiled and went to her. "Can I help you now?" I asked and waited for no answer. I lifted her in my arms with utter delicacy like she was still very much breakable, which she was, and took her upstairs. She tried to deny but didn't oppose.
.
.
.
She was opposed to prom, refusing who ever come to her asking that.
I still remember her conversation with Mike during the last few days of the school. He had wanted to ask her to prom in case I wasn't interested. It's a long shot but worth taking it. He'd thought as he sat beside her in gym, with the perfect excuse of stepping on his own foot and wanting a minute.
"So, excited for prom?"
"You mean if excited for sitting in my room on prom night, yeah."
"You're skipping the prom too?" She nodded. "But why?" He asked with a cry. Isn't Cullen interested in taking her out to prom. I can remedy that.
I so wanted to punch him on his face for his smug thoughts – why is he so persistent, even after Bella had told him a no many times...
Bella looked at him in disbelief and waved her hand casually at her broken leg. "With this cast still on, I think it's better for me to stay away from prom." It was rather comical how she turned all her denials with just one excuse.
He rubbed his leg again. "But this is your first prom! You can't miss it! And what about Edward?" It didn't go unnoticed by me and her how he said my name like a curse. At this Bella looked at her madly and I stuffed a chuckle.
"I think he abides by my wishes."
"As you wish, but you missed your spring dance and now prom. Do you have any aversion to dancing or us?" He joked lightly.
"I was hoping you won't catch that."
He laughed and stood up, stretching his leg. "I'm good now. And as of you, try to come. It will be fun."
"I'll try, Mike. But I'm not making any promises."
"Hope you come though. I still haven't gotten my dance with you."
I stifled a growl. Why was he tenacious? – he refused to give up even when he had his own lady to look upon and Bella was showing clearly she wasn't interested in him at all. She was just interested in me.
Suddenly I had felt a little pity for that obnoxious boy, very, very little, as I started gloating smugly. Out of all the people, all her admirers, I was the one she was with. It was very hard not to grin broadly considering I was sitting in my Spanish and didn't want to scare others. Emmett was a whole different case – he knew I was behaving too weirdly now a days to look onto.
But that didn't stop me from hissing when the topic of Mike came up while I drove her back to her home. "That Newton kid has a lot of nerve to ask you for a dance when he himself has a date."
"It doesn't matter, because I am not going anyway."
"Huh?" I muttered absent-mindly.
"I am not going to prom and that's final. So nothing to worry about."
"Prom wouldn't be so bad." I had disagreed.
"No dice. I am not going and I forbid you to take me there." She announced. I had scowled and in returned she scoffed.
"Fine." I easily gave up as I knew she was not going to miss that. I was very sure of that.
.
.
.
"You should wear this." Alice showed the tuxedo she had ordered especially for me on the occasion of my first prom where I had an actual date rather than any of sister. "Trust me."
"I don't want anything exaggerating, Alice."
"You only said you wanted it to be a special occasion for Bella, so just seal your mouth and wear it." She looked at me irritatedly. I huphed and ruffled her hair as I took the tux from her and went upstairs. It was still a few hours before prom but I have to go out for hunting. Emmett and Jasper were waiting for me, and not to forget that Bella was coming over here, or I should say being snatched from her house, to get ready. She still hadn't gotten any idea what was running in my mind.
How such a small detail could go out of her notice, I wondered, she is such a perceptive girl.
But I let it go as Emmett honked the horn again.
"Coming!" I yelled from my room where I kept my tux and ran down.
After a few elks and deer and a couple wrestling matches, we finally decided to return home. Twilight was just near and we all were going to prom.
"Big day, huh?" Emmett punched my shoulder slightly. "I never thought you will ever go to prom with an actual date, and that too with a human." He was genuinely sincere and honest, his usual mocking tone out.
Jasper agreed too, but the burden of Em's teasing seemed to be on his shoulders today. "Atta time you finally got someone. How old are you anyway?" He mocked. "Hundred and ten? It's high time you should start dating."
Emmett laughed. "Yeah. You're actually getting old, man. It's about time your dating life gets a little interesting, considering you never dated anyone."
They teased me for almost the whole way. I tried to shut them out for the whole ride home with useless attempts.
I walked past Alice's room where I could hear Bella groaning, "It's too much, Alice!" while Alice ignored her, looking at something else and blocking her thoughts to keep her look away from me. She thought towards me don't you dare try to take a look at Bella before its time while to Bella she said "It's perfect. Just relax."
I walked away, giving the girls a little privacy and got myself ready – shower, hair, tux, everything. Esme helped me tying the bow correctly and appreciated my look after some of her final touch ups. I kissed her cheek and walked down, waiting anxiously to see Bella.
That Jacob kid was quite a nerve. It wasn't his fault that his father wanted him – used him – to warn Bella. I wasn't mad with him for that part. I was actually mad that he had the boldness to ask Bella for another dance when her boyfriend waited her to be free from him. And he even had the nerve to call her pretty. It was degrading. Bella looked more spectacular in her assemble, more beautiful than any other.
She had laughed at my explanation, not considering it.
"So are you going to explain the reason for all of this?" She asked as I twirled us again. I looked down at her, confused. What did she mean? But I got the answer when she looked around the whole setting.
It was not something I wanted to answer her when everyone was around. So instead I twirled her, this time towards the outside. She glanced around, looked at all her friends who were dancing being oblivious, but I was oblivious of everyone but her.
As soon as we were alone in the dim light of twilight, I scooped her up – she must be tired by all the dancing – in my arms and walked to a far away corner of the parking, at the verge of the fence where the trees started, and sat on a chair, with her in my lap. I wasn't ready to leave her or keep any space between us.
I looked at her, and in her eyes I could see all the questions burning with curiosity. Why I wanted her to give her this experience?; why I was so set on keeling her human?; aggrieved and confused and scowling and troubled. I wasn't ready to answer all her questions about my life yet, but I wanted to answer her every question. It was a dilemma.
"The point?"
I ignored her and stared instead at the moon shining in the pale dark sky.
"Twilight, again," I murmured. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."
"Some things don't have to end."
I sighed. She was waiting patiently for my answer and I couldn't stall more.
I sighed and explained slowly. "I brought you to the prom because I don't want you to miss anything. I don't want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if I'd died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have."
I felt her shudder and then shake her head.
"In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? If you weren't a thousand times stronger than me, I would never have let you get away with this."
"It wasn't so bad, you said so yourself." I retorted back with a half smile.
"That's because I was with you."
I shook my head and stared at the moon. I felt her gaze at me but I wasn't ready to look in her eyes right now, not when my own thoughts were contradicting each other.
The silence started to bug so I thought of asking her a question I wanted a answer to.
"Will you tell me something?" I asked with a smile. I wondered what was in her mind that she couldn't think about the obvious prom.
"Don't I always?"
"Just promise you'll tell me."
"Fine." She promised unwillingly.
Only if I could read her mind!
"You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here."
She interrupted by saying "I was"
"Exactly. But you must have had some other theory… I'm curious – what did you think I was dressing you up for?"
I could see hesitation in her eyes. What could be so embarrassing she had in her mind?
"I don't want to tell you."
"You promised."
"I know."
"What's the problem?"
"I think it will make you mad – or sad."
A crease formed on my forehead as I thought about it, but I could think of only one answer which would bring such a reaction from me. "I still want to know. Please?"
I was curious to know the answer but waited patiently.
She sighed. "Well… I assumed it was some kind of… occasion. But I didn't think it would be some trite human thing… prom!" She scoffed.
"Human?" My voice no more curious.
Exactly what I feared!
She played with the hem of her dress while I waited for her in silence to continue.
"Okay... So I was hoping that you might have changed your mind… that you were going to change me, after all."
I couldn't believe she actually believed that! Even after I had informed her that I was strongly opposed to that! But she couldn't wish that! Not when she had already tasted the agony of being transformed. But a small part of me contradicted me mind and argued back: she loved me too much, so much that she was ready to give up her life.
But I couldn't just take her! No, I never can!
Alice must have worked her out on this! Or maybe she really thought I'll change my mind about that.
My insides knotted and unknotted thinking about that.
No doubt I felt ambiguous – so many unfiltered emotions in a hundredth fraction of a second. Anger; Agony; Joy – only minor; Pain; Terror; Franticness...
She was still glancing at me, waiting for my reaction., her face troubled. She was anticipating my anger. She was actually scared thinking about my response.
I felt amused.
I always feared she will be scared of me for obvious reasons, but here she was, scared of for an unreasonable and an inexplicable thing.
A small smile tugged on my face as I made my eyes too innocent and looked at her.
"You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you?" I teased touching the lapel of my tux.
She scowled at herself. "I don't know how these things work. To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does. It's not funny!" She fumed when she saw me still grinning, unuttered.
"No, you're right, it's not." I allowed, my grin fading slowly.
"I'd rather treat it like a joke, though, than believe you're serious."
"But I am serious."
I sighed deeply. "I know. And you're really that willing?"
I knew what her answer would be. She thought she was too brave to let her go through all this, to leave her parents behind, to leave her everything behind. She didn't disappoint me. She was nervous – it was clear how she chewed on her bottom lip – as she nodded lightly.
"So ready for this to be the end," I tested in a small voice, "for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You're ready to give up everything."
She retorted by saying, "It's not the end, it's the beginning."
"I'm not worth it." I argued back, my voice small.
How true that was. I wanted to give her so much things, but I could only take things from her. I was no good for her!
How I loathed myself.
"Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "You obviously have the same blindness."
"I know what I am." I sighed in resignation. A monster.
I looked at her, memorizing every detail of her brilliancy and her beauty, even though I still had her face behind my lids, considering what she said.
The way her heart had beaten all the time... I knew she just thought she was ready.
I was ready to test the waters.
"You're ready now, then?"
"Um... Yes?"
I was right. The currents were in my favour as of now. She thought she was ready but she didn't know herself. She wasn't.
No wonder amidst all these tension a small smile carved on my face. I kissed her jaw very delicately, liking how her blush made her skin more warm. I brushed my lips over her jaw for a moment, liking her warmth...
"Right now?" I was enjoying it. And the way she gulped and shuddered...
"Yes." She whispered.
It didn't help that her voice was at the verge of breaking, her body too rigid, her hands balled into a tight fist, her heart beating frantically in her chest, her breathing almost loud...
I chuckled darkly and leaned back.
"You can't really believe that I would give in so easily." I said, the teasing tone hiding my disapproval very well.
How could she think I would ever do that to her...
"A girl can dream."
"Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?"
She frowned. "Not exactly. Mostly I dream about being with you forever."
She sounded so small. She did wanted that. If not now, still she wanted to be with me.
How was it fair that two people wanted the same thing but the line of rationality and reason blocked their path. She was being unreasonable, irrational... I also wanted to be that...
To let myself think with her in that way but couldn't.
The knife, on whose edge we were walking, seemed to twist every now and then...
"Bella." I traced her lips with utter delicacy, reminding myself again why I didn't want the knife to twist. "I will stay with you – isn't that enough?"
She smiled under my touch. "Enough for now." She breathed.
Why couldn't she surrender? Why did she have to be equally stubborn on this matter?
I exhaled sharply.
She put her palm on my face and I leaned my face in it.
"Look, I love you more than everything else in the world combined. Isn't that enough?"
It was more than enough for me. It was all I wished for...
I smiled involuntarily.
Only if she never talked about the topic of her change...
"Yes, it is enough. Enough for forever."
I leaned down again to brush my lips at her jaw again.
The music in the background slowly changed again. Inside the gym, fast song were playing.
Well, it is one part of the prom she shouldn't miss, I thought as I talked her into going back again.
"Isn't this much dance enough with you?" She asked me on the way back.
I smiled. "With you, nothing is ever enough." I smiled.
She huphed and I think I heard her say "Yeah everything but changing me" but I couldn't be sure as she was almost incoherent.
Inside the gym, everyone was now dancing at their own rhythm, jumping and singing along. Bella shuddered by seeing it and said in my ear, "You go, I'm better here."
"No silly, we're better here." I corrected with a smile. I didn't want to go in there and make everyone notice that my skin was abnormal when they accidentally touch me. Instead I wrapped my one arm over Bella's shoulder and she leaned onto me.
After a short time, Alice and Jasper also joined us. "I thought I wouldn't see this little vixen tonight." I mused as I ruffled her hair and draped the other hand over her shoulder. She grinned back.
She grinned broadly. "I just wanted to see how you both are doing. And not to forget that I too hate this part. I don't have any space for myself."
Jasper chuckled listening her and kissed her forehead.
I knew he had some trouble with all these people together, and the way their sweat made them smell more scrumptious. He looked at me and ran his hands through his hair nervously. Jeez Eddie! I wasn't thinking about any of that.
I rolled my eyes and looked around. Rosalie was loving all the attention while she danced gracefully on the floor, her blond curls waving with perfection. She was the only one who always loved attention, craved it. And I was used to this raw side of her. When she smiled so angelically while dancing, I could easily see why I loved her as my sister in the first place. Even when she was always vain, her heart was always in the right place. Just like today. She wasn't thinking about everyone's attention – she was, but very minimal – she just enjoyed herself.
Bella too saw that and sighed almost inaudibly. I knew this time what she thought and kissed her forehead. She shouldn't be jealous of her.
"Wanna go out?"
She nodded eagerly. I turned to Alice and Jasper. Jasper looked at me with relief while Alice nodded. Jasper is having a hard time here now. I nodded minutely. She sighed and leaned on his arm, trying to calm her down.
I caught Em's eye and signalled her him we were leaving. He gave me a thumbs up with a grin.
We were out within no time. Alice and Bella busied themselves with Alice asking her about her first experience of prom and Bella giving in the details.
"Thanks, man. I really needed an escape."
"It's fine, Jasper. We were anyway going to leave. Remember Charlie had given me a deadline."
He laughed. "Oh yeah. So where are you planning. It's just eleven and you aren't supposed to take her back before twelve."
"Well, I promised her a date."
He laughed. "Edward Cullen on his official first date! This is huge."
I joined him in his laughter too. "Well, as you pointed out: it is high time I start my love life"
"She's really a nice girl. So good for you. Look how she had changed you for good."
"Well, I can't argue in that." I was lucky in that criteria.
Once I used to laugh darkly at my destiny as I didn't have what my other family members had – their partner, their mate. But I got the best part of the deal with waiting.
I left them at the junction before forests as they wanted to have some alone time.
Now that we were alone, I took her to Port Angeles. I didn't want to take her at any place in Forks where almost everybody knew her.
"Where are we going?" She asked me as she peeked outside the window and saw the trees blurring in the background.
"I told you I'm taking you for a date, didn't I?"
She grinned. "Oh, yeah. So where are we going?"
"You'll see."
"I hate surprises." She grumbled.
"I love surprising you." I murmured with a smile.
She rolled her eyes and leaned back fully on the seat.
We reached the ice-cream parlour bear Port Angeles within no time.
I made her sit comfortably in the chair and placed the order for her – chocolate pancake with ice-cream and extra choco-chips
She smiled when I wrinkled my nose on the account of revolting smell of the food here and I laughed back, relieved that topic of our small argument never came back.
"What are you thinking?"
"Today was good." She affirmed as she put a spoon full of pancake in her mouth. "I wasn't expecting that, and especially when I came to know what you were actually planning," I growled at that, "but it was good."
"Thanks ma'am." I acknowledged in a perfect southern accent.
She laughed and I kissed her palm which sat idly on the table, twinning it with mine. She played with my fingers while she ate.
After her dessert she finally decided she wanted to go home.
"I'm very much tired." She mumbled.
"Is your leg hurting." No was her immediate answer. "Really, Bella, you need to tell us everything about your pain. It's been near about six weeks and if it's still paining, Carlisle should know."
"He'll just increase my physio." She snorted. "Honestly I don't see the point in all these sessions anymore. They were only meant for two weeks but as you pointed out, it has been six weeks."
"Bella! You know Carlisle do not want to take any risk when you are in question. The extended sessions are just precautions. And I know you are frustrated, but just a couple weeks more. Carlisle himself told me you will be cast free within two weeks, or less."
She smiled broadly, relieved. "You sure?"
"Feel free to ask Carlisle."
"No, I trust you." The way she said without missing a heartbeat, my heart soared.
"Okay. So tell me, is your leg paining." She shook her head. "Sure?"
"Do you really think I can lie from you?"
"In that particular case, love, you can lie to nobody."
She laughed lightly and leaned her face against the window.
"Do you mind driving slow?" She murmured, eyeing the speedometer from the corner of her eye. I chuckled and lowered the speed, prolonging my time with her.
We were outside her home in no time. She sighed and sat straight. I hurried up to her gate and opened it for her. She smiled. "Just imagine if Charlie was seeing through the curtains..."
I scoffed and tapped my forehead with my finger. "Checked already." While she stepped out, I continued, "He's engrossed in sports."
She smiled and shook her head, knocking at the door. Charlie opened in and gasped seeing Bella. Too beautiful... were his only thoughts.
He had seen Bella's photos when she stepped down, Alice and Esme had made sure of that, but to see her dressed do amazingly, he was right to gasp. I wanted to laugh and tell him that I reacted the same way.
"Wow, Bells, you look amazing."
"Thanks, dad." She mumbled as she stepped in. I was still deliberating if I should return back or step in too when Charlie called me in, "Come in, Edward."
She grinned at Charlie and winked at me when he wasn't seeing.
"So," he said when we were seated, "how was your prom?"
"Good." She answered while I said "Amazing."
"Good for both of you, but I wasn't expecting any other at the doorstep." And he laughed thinking about it.
I grinned too, thinking about his dejected look through Charlie's mind, while Bella snorted. "Just a misunderstanding, dad."
He laughed again. For the first time I heard his clear thought. Tyler isn't good for her. Better Edward than him.
I was gloating like an idiot and I didn't mind it. I was elated that Charlie at least considered me for Bella, and that was more than enough for me.
"Where is Alice?" He wondered.
"She's with our brother, Emmett, and the others."
"Oh!" Good... serious... deadline...
"I should leave now." I raised up as Charlie was already waiting for me to say that.
"Okay." Bella mumbled and waved me bye. "Thanks for the evening."
"Anytime." I replied and went to the door.
Charlie followed me to the door, his mind suddenly too clouded and befuddled. I couldn't get anything from his mind.
No wonder Bella got her mysterious mind from her dad...
"Um, Edward?"
Surprise was clear on my face as I turned around. I wasn't expecting it.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for taking her out." Before I could say anything he explained. "She hates socializing, I know that as she got it from me, and I had feared that she may not like here and also want to skip her prom. But thanks to you, she likes here, and she also enjoyed her prom."
"She really likes here, Charlie." I murmured – first things first.
"She tells me so but I know her better. Sometimes I see in her eyes that she misses her mother or the sun or how she hates the rain."
"Than you should've seen her in the hospital, Chief. She couldn't wait to come back to this wet place."
He laughed, not believing it. I wish... "And thanks for prom too."
"Anytime, sir. I am happy to be around her."
"You are a good kid, Edward."
I wasn't expecting that. My mouth almost fell open.
"Means a lot, sir, coming from you. And I know Bella has been hurt because of me" – to what extent, he doesn't needs to know that – "but I can promise you, nothing like that will ever happen again. I'll try my best." One more reason why she needn't need change.
It was a promise to both father and daughter.
"Let's not make any promises." My heart felt crestfallen. He still didn't believe me safe for his daughter, not that I was completely safe for her.
"I'll try my best, sir." I murmured again, hopefully he considers my words and how truly I meant that.
He nodded. "Good night, Edward."
He moved his hand forward for a shake and I took it immediately.
"Night, sir."
And he closed the door.
I drove back to my house.
Esme was waiting for us in the main hall.
"How was your evening?"
"Best. Much better than I expected." I didn't want to tell her about my small contraries with Bella about her change.
"Good for you." I decided I could sit beside for a few minutes before rushing back to Bella.
I sat and put my hand over her shoulder, talking about nothing in particular. She asked me about Bella and some other stuff, while I answered her every inquiry.
"I knew you could work it out, somehow." She announced after a short time, jubilant about how things were going between I and Bella. "I can't be more happy."
"Thanks, mom."
But she could read me like an open book. She knew when there was something troubling me.
"Edward? Are you all right?" I nodded and tried to smile. She shook her head. "What happen, honey? Is something wrong?"
"I don't know, mom. Sometimes I fear that if anything goes wrong, I'll face to leave her, and sometimes I worry that if everything goes well, I'll still have to leave her for her own good. I cannot keep her at an edge just because I want to be with her."
"Not to forget, she willingly wants to walk along the edge, Edward."
I sighed and hung my head. "I don't know, mom. I don't know!"
"But I know. You have grown into a man, just because of her, sweetheart, and I would rather you stay along with her. But if you feel the need to walk away, even for her good, I won't stop you, but I know it won't come to that. You'll find a better way."
Her immediate thought made me snap my head up. How could she too think about changing Bella, just for my own benefit.
"NO!" I almost roared. "I'm never going for that. She is staying human and that's it!"
She did not flinch. "As you wish, but still, it's just a suggestion. Think about it."
I didn't answer her. I was already done with that with Bella.
"I'll see you in the morning." I said, dodging her suggestion and stood up. She waved me bye and wished Bella good night. I promised her to pass along the message and ran to her.
On her tiny bed, she laid curled up to her side, her body relaxed, her breathing almost even. She was near to fall asleep.
I didn't want to disturb her so I went silently to her side and laid down beside her. I put my arm around her and kissed her hair.
She relaxed more under my embrace. "I thought you were still pissed off at me." She murmured in a very faint voice. "I started wondering if you were coming or not."
"I wasn't though." I kissed her hair again. "As long as you tell me what's in your mind – no matter how irrational – and clear out things between us, I don't think I'll ever be mad at you to miss this." I squeezed her to me, emphasizing what I was talking about.
She laughed and rolled over.
She looked very tired."You should rest."
"I'm good for another half hour."
"We'll see." The way her eyes were blinking heavily, I was sure she couldn't keep them open for another five minutes.
"Thank you."
"Hmm?"
"For arranging this night for me." She explained slowly. "I am still angry with you for making me go there," she clarified for my benefit at which I could just laugh, "but thanks anyway."
"The pleasure was mine. I got to dance with you."
She blushed and put her head on my shoulder.
"Though I did not dance. You did all the work." She laughed.
"Still the same."
"I love you."
I pulled her more closer to me and kissed her forehead. "You, my love, are my the most precious thing, ever."
She blushed again and kissed my cheek.
I smiled and hummed her lullaby.
"I don't want to sleep." She protested again.
"What do you have in your mind, then?"
I waited patiently for her answer, running my fingers through her tresses and singing her lullaby. She was asleep in no time.
I smiled, looking at her face again. and kissed her head again. "You are my life."
She snuggled more while I got lost in my temporary paradise, forgetting everything – that we were very much different, we couldn't be together like I wanted us to be, that she wanted to be one of us – but us, closing my eyes too to think I was living in a world of dreams, where everything was possible.
Where a vampire and a human could live together.