Another Auld Lang Syne
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Based loosely on the song Same Auld Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg and incorporates scenes from Food to Die For. Beckett meets Brent Edwards at her HS Reunion, delaying Caskett if not derailing it completely. Also, we may take liberties with the events and timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, Warning THIS IS AU, with only brief flashes of Canon.
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Previously
"Kate, you can make it out to Kate," she said in her bravest voice,
He looked up, acknowledged that it was her, then signed something in her book, and as he was writing, she seized the moment,
"Rick, can we talk, I promise it won't take long,"
Her answer came as he called, "Next" dismissing her to step aside,
She did, and as she made her way towards the door, she was intercepted by a blonde bombshell,
"So, you're giving up? That's it? If that's all you have then you don't deserve him, Kate, if you want him fight for him, wait for us outside the side door then don't take no for an answer if you really love him, if not stay away from him. You've hurt him enough"
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Chapter 11
Castle Loft
New York
Friday, After Signing at B&N
The heavy side door opened, and there stood Gina, followed by Rick on their way out of the signing. Gina caught sight of her but didn't react, then Rick stopped mid-sentence in his conversation with her, as he looked at Kate, was it really her. His eyes penetrated hers and she could tell he was hurting, deeply so she made her move,
"Rick, can we go somewhere for a cup of coffee, please, I won't keep you long, I promise, I know you're busy and with Gina." She asked in a soft voice almost tears in her eyes,
Rick turned to look at Gina, who just nodded, and then a look of panic came over him.
"If it would make you feel better, Gina is welcome too, it's just a cup of coffee, I know I owe you an explanation, and an apology in person, Please? Kate asked again,
"Rick, I'll go back to the Loft, but if you need me all you need to do is call, it's only 6 blocks and I'll be right there, OK, Sweetie?" Gina patted his arm, and rubbed his hand gently, reassuring him.
Rick took a deep breath then said, "OK Kate, you got 15 minutes, there's a Java Hut across the street, your time starts when we get our coffee. Thanks, Gina, I won't be long, see you back at home." He kissed her, gently. Something he would never had done before, but she deserved it, perhaps it was a Deming payback she thought, but this wasn't staged.
He used to always place his hand in the small of her back to guide her, it started from the very first day she met him, and as much as she pretended to hate it, she missed the touch, his reassuring hand touching, guiding her to a safe place. Through doors, into rooms, or just gently taking her hand to assist her off the street curb, all the little signs of a gentleman that he was. Today his hands remained firmly in his pockets, as he started to cross the street, not even glancing to see if she were crossing as well or not.
He reached the Java Hut, opened, and still held the door for her, at least he was still acting with manners. She could tell from the quick glance in his eyes, they hid more than anger, something else was there. She didn't recognize it, could it be hurt? Disgust for her? Well, she would find out soon, as she ordered and attempted to pay for her and his order, of course, it was already paid for, somethings never change.
She picked up her latte and stood to wait for him to get his coffee, and pick out a table he would be comfortable sitting and talking with her for a few minutes.
"Pick a table, Beckett, we're not going to be here long," he said, not unkindly, but again a reminder the clock for her was ticking,
She chose a booth, close to the rear, affording them as much privacy as you could get in a coffee shop.
"Is this OK Rick?" she asked, timidly,
"It's fine like I said we won't be here long" once again setting the tone of the meeting, he was there, but couldn't wait to be anywhere else.
"OK, then let me get right down to it, I was an ASS, I acted worse than that, and I owe you an apology and here's a letter from Espo apologizing for his actions. I can't give you one from Deming, he's no longer with NYPD, so I'm sorry and I'll repeat it sorry I allowed both of them to treat you in such a manner."
"Beckett, you already apologized for this, sorry about Deming I know you were close, well before your husband, he came out of the blue and believe me caught more than me by surprise to hear you were getting married. Your one and done, sorry it didn't work out." He said with little emotion,
"Well about that Rick, I have a confession to make, I was using Deming to try to get you to pay attention to me, Brent came as a total surprise to me, and I guess I fell for the old con lines. He brought back memories when times were good, Mom was still alive, and I guess I was trying so hard to be happy again, I acted like an idiot."
"You think?" he replied, the first sign that the old Rick was there, "I'm sorry I'm not following your line using Deming to make me more attentive, you kept threatening to shoot me, ridiculing me, making fun of the little gifts I would bring you, just because, (his voice cracked) eh, just because I thought you would like them, or it would give you a minute of happiness.
"I never would have guessed you would have treated me the way you did, and it was bad Beckett, really bad. Lanie was the one that reached out to me, she actually apologized for you, saying you were trying to capture the magic of times before your Mother was killed. She told me you were her best friend but she didn't trust Brent, and had told you so, which caused a rift between the two of you."
"Yeah, she did. Even Maddie told me, although she may have had another motive. Rick, I'm so sorry she treated you the way she did, I know that you were hurt, I got back from vacation and you and Gina had moved to Los Angeles, formed a production company, and had purchased Black Pawn, quite a lot of reshaping your life in such a short time, Rick, was it all because of me?"
"Don't flatter yourself, Detective, eh excuse me, Captain, to use one of your old lines, not everything is about you. You have no idea how long those plans were in place, the timing was right, so was the price so we pulled the trigger. It just happened to coincide with your Honeymoon, not vacation Beckett"
Kate bowed her head; she knew she was losing him when he went back to using her title and last name.
"Rick, I am so sorry for everything you went through because of my actions, whether directly or indirectly. I never dreamed that Maddie would first come on to you so strongly, I know she was attracted to you, but worse, leave you to have an affair with my husband, even though we were separated, it was the ultimate betrayal by them both." Kate said with tears in her voice,
"Yeah, it does really hurt when the one you trust, the one you hold up in such high esteem not only disappoints you but does things to deliberately hurt you like only they can, no one deserves that. It does a lot to make you hold back your trust for others, no matter how sincere they may be, I guess it's just a self-preservation tactic we revert to when we hurt that badly." He said softly, then Kate picked up the sadness in his eyes, oh my God that's what she had done to him,
"Oh Rick," she started to say,
"Well, see you around Beckett, Good Luck" as he rose and was out of the door before Kate realized what had happened.
She sat there collecting her thoughts, glancing at the book, and the casual signature, he had put her far away from his heart because she had broken it, and worse in a very public setting. Not only was he hurt, but embarrassed as well, even Lanie had admitted she had been embarrassed by her actions, God what a mess she thought as she collected her cup and headed to the door.
The December snow was falling lightly, just covering the evergreen trees in the park, as she walked the long way home, trying to think of the next steps. Gina had challenged her, that was surely a surprise, but her approach with Rick did more harm than good it seemed. She had to do something, but what,
Xx
Saturday
Four Seasons Hotel
Castle Launch Party
Kate had wracked her brain, trying to figure out how to reach Rick. She had apologized, and it seemed it just brought her own actions into more clarity, the hurt she caused was evident by his line, "Yeah, it does really hurt when the one you trust, the one you hold up in such high esteem not only disappoints you but does things to deliberately hurt you like only they can, no one deserves that.
She cried, every time her memory replayed that line, his voice so sad, tears almost dripping off each word, perhaps because it was true. She hadn't intended to hurt Rick, or had she? Could it be she was still angry with him for something, perhaps his love that had been so apparent for Kyra Blaine?
Even though she was in town for her wedding, she found solace in Rick's arms, and she wasn't a bimbo from page six. She was real, very real, proving that Rick was capable of, and had serious relationships in the past, with little effort, could have rekindled the love he had for Kyra. Was she angry about that? Was that why she flaunted Deming in his face, to prove that she could have someone as well?
Why? Why did she feel the need to compete with him for partners? Rick hadn't mentioned the details, it had been Kyra who leveled with her. Rick was far too much of a gentleman to kiss and tell, in fact, he never confirmed or denied reports published about him and starlets at social functions, always remaining a gentleman regardless of who the tabloids had him coupled with.
The answer came to her as she was going through her Journal/Scrapbook she started keeping to record her thoughts and pictures of her favorite author. She was jealous, she cared about him more than she would ever admit.
She saw pictures of the book launch party for the first Heat Book, memories of how he had Alexis take her shopping for just the right dress, shoes, and attire, not wanting her to be embarrassed by the savages who were jealous of her on his arm. He quietly had taken care of her, protected her, and instead of thanking him and giving in to the feelings she had, she threw another man in his face, in the worst way possible.
Her thoughts were interrupted with the buzzing of her door, Lanie was actually early tonight. She opened the door and her friend looked anything but like a ME.
"Lanie you are beautiful, I love the dress" Kate exclaimed as she pulled her friend in for a quick hug.
"Thanks, Kate, it's not too much, is it? I mean the girls want out, and I have to be sure to keep them covered, but I think it fits nice, do you think I'll get much attention?" she asked
"Lanie, anyone who can spell boob will be all over you trying to get a dance, I expect Rick to even hit on you, maybe sign your chest" Kate laughed but Lanie didn't
"Kate, Rick hasn't signed chests since he met you, do you know nothing about the man who knows every detail about you? Lanie didn't try to hide her disappointment in her friend,
"OK Lanie, OK, I don't need a downer now, I'm not sure how he or Gina are going to react, so I wouldn't be surprised to come back tonight with no change in my situation, I am only hoping, well praying is more like it."
"Well, how did you leave things over coffee, Kate? You never told me what happened there other than he gave you 15 minutes, and then he left, so what happened?"
Kate gave her the recap of the visit and watched Lanie's face as she quoted Rick's line about being hurt by the one you trusted above all others, tears came to her face before she got out,
"You know that's you don't you Kate, that boy is hurt something awful, and believe me, I don't know how he was able to face you and be civil, if you had done that to me, well they would never have found the body, that's all I'm saying about that." Lanie was her friend, but she was also Ricks, and she was right, defend the one who was in the right.
"I know Lanie, believe me, I know, now I have to figure out how he will allow me another chance, that's all I'm asking for is a chance, to earn my way back to his life as a friend at least. I don't think I can take it if I know he still harbors ill will towards me." Kate's tears almost fall,
"Kate, there's a big difference between harboring ill will, and trying to shield yourself from any future hurt, I mean look at it from his perspective. How would you have reacted, say if Gina had been Brent, and he suddenly found everything you did as secondary to her, how would you feel, seriously Kate, show some empathy when you talk to him.
"He has to start to trust you, that you won't hurt him again, that's first and most important. You already apologized, don't keep beating that dead horse, move on to the next requirement, prove to him, he's important to you, in your life, and don't just tell him, Kate, you'll need to prove it."
"You're right Lanie, let's go, I hope I think of something before we get there, I mean how can I prove something to him when he's there and I'm here?" Kate asked,
"Why are you here if the love of your life is there, and he is only there because of you to start with? Seems like a pretty simple answer to a question that you want to make a hell of a lot more difficult than you need to" she replied,
Xx
They arrived at the Four Seasons to enter the ballroom hosting the Launch party. Gina had seen them coming and went to greet them,
"Kate, Lanie, glad you could make it, it's been a pretty rough day for Rick, I'm sure you both being here will help him," Gina said sadly,
"Gina, did I upset him that much, I mean we barely got into the conversation and he looked at his watch, told me my 15 minutes were up and left, I hope I didn't hurt him with anything I said. I realize now just what happened, and it's all on me, my fault, I told him I was sorry. I just want to know how I can prove it to him." Kate said still fighting tears,
"Kate, don't repeat this, God he would kill me if he knew, but Alexis and he had a horrible fight right before we came to the signing, he basically set her free to be an adult, it's a long story, not mine to tell, but he is hurting badly because of Alexis, and well seeing you reminded him how things used to be, a lot better and simpler," Gina said softly,
"Oh my God, Alexis was his life, no wonder he looked so distant, my God, I'm sorry Gina, I mean what can I do? It may sound strange but yes I'm asking his ex-wife and lover how I can compete with her for his love." Kate was open and candid,
"First Kate, there is no competition, you're right, I am his ex-wife, for good reasons, BUT we never stopped loving each other, and let's say we are filling a need for the physical needs. Other than that, if you two get together, I'll be in his heart, but believe me, he's always been a one-woman man, especially in bed." Gina said quietly,
Kate had a funny look on her face as a security guard walked past the ladies talking, Gina picked up on it,
"Yes Kate, that's your other ex Tom Deming, he got fired form Lawrenceville PD for sexual harassment and security guard is the only job he could get, so be careful. If he causes you any problem please come get me at once."
They made their way into the Grand Ballroom, where displays of Rick's new book were on display, the wait staff very attentive with the champagne, and an open bar. At this time of night, they both headed to the bar, Kate for a double vodka, straight, and Lanie for a glass of brandy.
Everything was going great until Kate caught sight of Rick, he was talking to the Governor and laughing until he caught her glance. He suddenly excused himself and was lost in the crowd. This wasn't going to be easy, but damn it, she was going to prove to him she loved him, no matter what she had to do.
Proof would have to wait as Gina took the podium, said some kind words about the new direction of Black Pawn, and authors such as Rick now encouraged to reach out for their passion. Then she introduced Rick, who strode to the podium, showing the confidence he always did, he could always hide his inner self from his fans, all but Kate. She saw him, and she knew his heart was broken, again, maybe this time she could help, not hurt, she just had to get close to him.
Rick thanked Gina, the organizers, he never forgot the little people, then he got serious and thanked the heavens as pictures of Richie Rosati, and Mike Sayer, MD flashed on the ceilings and walls. Rick described the two men as the real heroes and motivation for the work, he closed by asking everyone to support their local hospitals and encouraged everyone to share the road, too many good people were being killed only because they rode a motorcycle, as he left the podium he received a standing ovation,
He walked to the bar, not noticing Kate, who surprised him and took his arm, and said, get your drink then we are going to talk Richard Castle, I have things I have to say before you kick me out of here,
TBC