"Hi!" a cheerful but unfamiliar voice spoke directly into my ear. I jerked awake in an instant, my blanket tangling in my legs and and sending me to the floor with a loud thump. My mind was racing: that wasn't my wife, but it was a female voice. This wasn't my bedroom floor, but that had been my bed I fell out of. I wasn't wearing my CPAP mask, which means whoever it was had managed to remove the thing from my head and face without my noticing. I wasn't an incredibly light sleeper, but that definitely should have gotten my attention.
After untangling myself from the blanket (mine, I noted), I stood up and looked for the source of the voice. I was surrounded by darkness on all sides, the only solid things around me being my bed and blanket and the featureless cement floor underneath me. With no one in sight I looked up, noting the fluorescent light mounted on what might have been a grocery store or warehouse ceiling. It was difficult to tell. With my heart hammering I slowly moved out of the circle of light cast by the light overhead, and tried to let my eyes adjust to the darkness. I'd always had good dark vision, so it shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes to find whoever to was that had abducted me. What I'd do when I found them, I had no idea. Who the hell steals a person IN THEIR BED, puts them in a dark warehouse, and then takes off their medical equipment?
"You won't find me that way," I heard from the direction of the bed. Spooked, I jumped and nearly stumbled again turning around. Apparently even the adrenaline produced by my wake-up-call wasn't enough to make me completely coordinated after a dead sleep. Maybe I was drugged?
"Nope! No drugs," replied the figure sitting on my bed. "Also, you won't need to worry about sleep-apnea anymore. I took care of that and a couple other things."
My brain rapidly clearing, I stared in shock at the young woman before me. Short, slim, wearing a lab coat and house slippers, and a dead ringer for an anime character I adored. Completely ridiculous hair included. The voice was irritatingly cheerful and a little too loud, but this was definitely Washu Hakubi. Or was it Hakubi Washu? She was speaking English, but she was also technically a goddess in her world. Would she want me to call her by her first or last name? Should I use the respectful suffix "sama" or the diminutive "chan" she demands people use in the show? My mind was so caught up on this being WASHU of all (fictional?) people that I was kind of stuck in a loop.
"None of that now! You're my new guinea-pig! And for your information, I am A Washu rather than THE Washu. YOU however will be calling me Jump-chan per tradition. Or Washu-chan if you really HAVE to. There's no need to mutilate Japanese by trying to use it interchangeably with English, so I'd prefer Miss Washu over the other two."
'Holy shit. She's in my head. SHE'S IN MY HEAD READING MY THOUGHTS AND-'
"No! Bad Jumper! You can't freak out on me now or I won't even have time to make the popcorn before you stop being entertaining!"
I'd just been hit with a paper fan. Also: what? Wait. Jump-chan? Jumper. Oh. Oh no. Oh NO NO NO NO NO. What happened to my wife? Did I die, or did Washu just pluck me out of the timeline randomly and now I'd end up either going back into a regular world with powers that would completely alienate me from the rest of the world or be annihilated down to my very soul for pissing off an apparently inter-dimensional version of Washu? A completely unnatural calm settled over me, and I found my eyes focussing once more on the entity in front of me. While I wasn't entirely sure of it, I suspected she was responsible.
"I am. And you're both technically in quantum flux. You can be dead or not, depending on what timeline I send you back to when you're done. That's up to you, since I really don't care. You will however be replacing that failure Tenchi as my next attempt to create a being more powerful than I was when I was created. You seem to have missed something in your entertainment, as myself and my sisters were already the creators of a multiverse canonically. I'm not only the Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe, I'm the GREATEST SCIENTIFIC GENIUS IN THE MULTIVERSE!"
Stereotypical mad-scientist laughter followed. It included gratuitous praise for said Scientific Genius by a pair of Washu-miniatures that popped up, one over each shoulder. My mind was once again slightly locked up, but at least I was paying attention this time and she didn't overtly mess with my emotions.
"Ahem. Also, I'm a Goddess. Capital G. In my own home universe I merged with Tsunami and Tokimi when our Tenchi proved to be incapable of handling godhood in any continuity. After that I discovered that MY multiverse was only a branch of the TRUE multiverse and started branching out. I'm hoping that by provoking the genesis of a being of similar power to my original self, I'll learn more about my own origins. I can't really remember how I was born, just that my sisters and I eventually got bored and created a playground for ourselves. After that...well, you know enough of the story for it not to matter."
"Umm... ok," I replied. That was a lot to take in, but I think I got it. Nobody was dead, technically. I could go back to my friends and loved ones at the end of this if I wanted to. Apparently I was going to become some sort of god or equally powerful entity in order to satisfy Washu's curiosity.
"Don't forget, I also want you to be entertaining!" she interjected, completely ignoring the fact that I wasn't speaking to her, or at all for that matter. She also seemed to have acquired popcorn from somewhere. I wondered briefly if that was an affectation or if she really liked popcorn before deciding it was irrelevant. I had to be rational about this, or I'd go insane. That meant picking up some sort of mental stability perks as soon as possible. I also needed to know the rules for this particular chain. Not all jump-chains are the same in the fiction, after all. The original rules were written by an author going by Quicksilver if I remembered correctly, but most of the actual jumps were written by other authors following his template.
"Very good! Now you're getting into the swing of things! Since you're an experiment, I'll be holding you to a few of Quicksilver's rules at least to start with. You WILL start with the Pokémon Trainer jump to get your feet wet, and you WILL stay within the rules outlined for that jump. That way I can recreate the experiment up to this point with one of your dimensional counterparts with some reliability. I'm already doing that, actually. You're just one of many instances of yourself going through this test."
Huh. The powers of a higher-dimensional Goddess (capital G, remember?) would allow for that wouldn't they? And it was a great way to pick up an arbitrarily large sample size with just a few control variables. Washu was smirking at me now and had an eyebrow quirked. That was getting annoying, but I'd probably be dealing with it the entire jump-chain. She shrugged her shoulders with a "what can you do?" expression. I resisted the urge to introduce my palm to my face. I wondered though...since the experiment had already started, could I negotiate how the rest of it would go? Washu's smirk turned into a full-blown smile. I had my answer.
"Ok. Since you seem to be willing to negotiate a little, I'd like the following: I want to be able to turn perks on and off at will, especially body-mod; I want to be able to purchase perks from previous jumps whenever I have CP available; I want to be able to re-try any jump that I fail or die in; and when I finish the chain I want to be able to rejoin my wife for the rest of our lives as we would have otherwise lived them then get my powers back when I die. I also want my wife to be empowered somehow, with the same conditions regarding our old life and getting her powers when she dies."
"Interesting, but I sense you're not really thinking this through all the way. Please extrapolate. Explain your reasoning, and maybe we can make this a little more comfortable for you."
"Well...my wife and I already had theories of what would happen to us in the afterlife. A jump-chain is pretty similar to what I hoped for, but with more rules and the ability to gain powers a lot faster. We agreed that we'd meet in the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine universe and romp around as godlike beings if at all possible, with the option to explore other universes when we got bored. She wanted to be half Q, and I wanted to be a shapeshifting energy being with lots of arbitrary powers, including magic."
Washu eyed me for a moment, then threw her head back and cackled like a mad-woman. This lasted a few minutes, during which I finally realized I was wearing almost nothing and she negligently waved her hand to dress me in slacks and a button-up shirt. She was still giggling several minutes later, and actually had a few tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Oh, that's precious!" she giggled. "You really are perfect for this, given your expectations! You've got some common sense, but you're also willing to go out on a limb and try to change the parameters of the experiment. Even when you think I'll just wipe away your SOUL if you annoy me, you're willing to take a risk to be with your wife in your 'perfect' afterlife."
As her laughter died down she gave me an appraising look, then waived her hand. A partially-transparent screen opened in front of me like a game prompt, with a bullet-pointed list and a scroll bar included.
"How's this, for you? I think I picked up enough of your intentions that this will work out for the best. I also had another avatar talk to your wife a bit, so some of this is based on her input."
Since there were no controls visible, I assumed the screen would respond to my touch. It did, and I spent some time reading over the terms.
The Rules
Jump-chan will enforce all jump rules as written, but will be able to contact with the Jumper at any time for the purpose of rules-lawyering, adjudication, and/or entertainment. (You like to negotiate, so we'll negotiate!) This connection cannot be turned off or blocked, and Jump-chan may choose to interject commentary or otherwise use said connection for her own entertainment. Some exceptions may be made where Jump-chan has different versions of the documents in question. Hers will always supersede any other versions.
Jump-chan will allow the Jumper to turn perks/abilities/etc. on and off at-will, since they're already purchased and his to use or not use. If it makes sense for them to be scaleable, then the Jumper can scale them up and/or down from off to all the way on. Drawbacks kept beyond their initial Jump (see below) also benefit from this feature, but drawbacks purchased in the current Jump do not. Should the jumper at any point lose control his faculties for any reason these choices will remain locked until he regains control.
The Jumper may, if he so chooses, retain drawbacks between jumps. They do not provide additional Choice Points, but may be locked in negotiations with Jump-chan or for entertainment. Please remember that when active, Drawbacks always supersede Perks. Drawbacks normally go away at the end of the jump in which they were purchased, as per most jump documents and precedent.
Jump-chan will choose a few jumps, perks, drawbacks, and background settings on her own, which the Jumper will have to deal with as if he'd picked them. Perk choices will always be to advance either Jump-chan's experiment or the Jumper's goals, but Jump choices may just be for entertainment. For example, the Jumper's second Jump MUST be to the universe of The Gamer and the Jumper's perks for that jump MUST include the full Gamer ability to ensure flexibility and adaptability for future powers.
The Jumper may purchase Perks, Gear, and/or Drawbacks from previous Jumps at any time Choice Points (CP) are available. To allow more flexibility in this, the Jumper may in fact "bank" or preserve up to 500 CP between jumps. Any CP banked or un-spent over the 500 point limit will be lost.
The Jumper MUST take at least one high-magic Jump and achieve a rank equivalent to archmage, preferably an epic/legendary one. To ensure his magic and shape-shifting meet his expectations at the end of the Chain, the Jumper may need to spend extra time in certain Jumps at Jump-chan's discretion.
Since the Jumper wants to be a shape-shifter so bad, he cannot skip an alternate form in any Jump even if that form is a drawback. At the end of the Jump it will become an alternate form assumable at-will. The only exceptions to this are if the Jumper already has the form in question available, the Jumper doesn't actually encounter an opportunity to assume said form, or if he's already acquired at least one new form during the Jump. Jump-chan may still force the issue, though.
Jumps can be either restarted or continued via the Cosmic Warehouse "Return" option, in which case the Jumper will retain all their previous Perks and Drawbacks, but be able to pick up new Perks and buy-off existing Drawbacks as if starting a new Jump. If the Jumper fails a scenario or permanently dies in-Jump, he will instead start fresh in that Jump as if he'd never started it but with memories intact. Abusing this will anger Jump-chan. Don't do it.
The Jumper's spouse will be offered similar empowerment in order to meet her own goals, and the final decision of what to do when the chain ends will be a joint decision between the Jumper and his spouse.
The Jumper may not engage in any romantic or sexual relations that last beyond the Jump in which they start, and may not produce children during the Jump-Chain. For the sake of his sanity social and even romantic contact is encouraged, but he must still remain loyal to his spouse or the Jump-Chain will end and he will be stuck wherever he cheated. He will also be rendered sterile for his own safety for the duration of the Jump-Chain.
I goggled. That was a lot to take in.
"Will I have access to this after I start? Also, you talked to my wife? And she was alright with these conditions?" I asked, a hint of fear in my voice. I was encouraged to have temporary romantic relationships with other people? I knew each Jump was a decade, but I really didn't think my wife would ever agree to that.
"Yep! Apparently she's got her eye on a few people too, but doesn't want to abandon you. You're a lucky guy, provided you agree to the conditions. Lots of humans have personal hang-ups about loyalty that this doesn't follow. She'll abide by the last one if you do," Washu stated casually. I gulped. Was I really alright with that? A few minutes and a little foot-tapping from Washu later I made my decision. It was essentially our afterlives, and we'd sworn to be together all our lives. That she still wanted to be with me even after sort-of-death was comforting, and the freedom would allow us both to grow as...people? Souls? Whatever we were now. We'd still be "coming home" to each other in the end.
"I agree."
"Excellent!" Washu clapped her hands and pointed behind me, where a sort of holographic computer screen had appeared in another circle of light. "You're going to Pokémon first, and since I loved the cartoon it's might get a little silly. Get your feet wet with this, then we'll get serious with The Gamer. After that you'll have a bit more freedom of choice. Also: don't worry about keeping the plot under control unless I tell you otherwise. I'll handle any really serious issues that might pop-up."
I nodded, and headed to the screen. Apparently Washu really did like the original Pokémon cartoon, since there were a couple of notes I was sure weren't in the original Jump Document. I would start my stay in that world in Viridian City of the Kanto region, where Ash would be heading after starting his pokémon journey the day after I arrived. I'd be thirteen, so I'd be three years older than the "worst trainer in history who still somehow managed to repeatedly save the world." Misty would be twelve and Brock would be fifteen. That explained him being a hormonal idiot throughout what I remember of the series. Thankfully with Ash present I wouldn't be the protagonist of the story, which meant I could potentially focus on other things and leave him to his terrible decisions that somehow saved the world. Maybe I could screw with him a little, though?
As I mused on exactly how much I could get away with messing with the anime, I made my remaining choices. For a starter pokémon I chose Vulpix, since it was only a little extra and I loved the idea of having a Ninetails eventually. I loved the mythological kitsune as they were portrayed in some of the modern media I'd seen, even though the older legends usually depicted them as somewhat malevolent. I'd start with a City Life background for free Parkour/Free-Running and discounted Psionics, then add the flaws Silenced and Swarmed to get enough points for Survival Training and Savant. I really wanted Aura, but should be able to buy it later. It might also be unnecessary, since it was essentially ki/qi/chi energy which I could pick up in other jumps. Since I was male I'd stick with a male body, which left 100 choice points. Money was always going to be useful especially if I used the Gamer ability to convert currency later, so I picked up 50,000 PokeDollars and a Rebreather that "lasts forever" according to the doc. Checking with Jump-chan got "indestructible" and "will return to my inventory, backpack, or warehouse if lost" added to that, which was suspiciously generous of her. Being able to breath in any environment with sufficient oxygen was good, though.
That left me with a highly fit thirteen-year-old body that was unable to speak but could make other noises, psionic powers beginning with telepathy and basic telekinesis with the option to greatly expand my repertoire, and innate survival and parkour skills. I'd be reasonable wealthy but not as prepared as I'd like, even with the free starting gear including what was essentially a Bag of Holding, a mute-able PokéGear (what is that, anyway?), a filled PokéDex (Professor Oak might find that useful), five PokéBalls, three Potions, and a red hat. Also I'd be swarmed by zubats whenever it was funny, inconvenient, etc. I really hoped there was an area-affect psychic move I could learn to make that less of an issue, but I hadn't played the games or watched the cartoons in over a decade. The memories of my new body might help with that, come to think of it. Savant granting me perfect memory, calculator-like mental math, improved spatial awareness, and what I assumed was ridiculously good aim with a gun certainly would. I didn't think I'd be acquiring a gun anywhere in the Pokémon universe, though. As soon as I'd finished reviewing my choices and nodding to myself that everything was as it should be, I hit the finalize button. The console disappeared and I was sucked into the darkness with only Washu's "Good luck!" to reassure me.
Edit: There were a few uses of present-tense that should have been past-tense and I did a little bit of formatting work. Also edited thanks to johnworm pointing out I as the author was using a different form of rule 4, which stated Jump-chan could only pick Jumps and Perks. She can in fact also pick Drawbacks and Backgrounds.