Chapter 4: Going Home
Yuuri sat quietly alongside Victor as the airplane they were in carried them on the long flight back to Saint Petersburg. Recalling Victor's off and on crying jags that had interrupted his sleep and the nightmares that had brought him awake, shaken and teary-eyed, he was careful not to stare, but stole cautious glances at his new husband, from time to time, to read his emotional state.
Well used to keeping himself collected in public and also resigned to the fact that Patya was gone and there was nothing he could do, Victor sat in his seat with his blue-green eyes looking glazed and distant, his breathing slow and his mind carefully focused on the little, routine things happening around him…accepting the offer of more than a few alcoholic drinks to numb the pain, picking disinterestedly at his in-flight meal, listening to the pilot's occasional announcements and looking silently out the window at the somber clouds.
"You look kind of tired," Yuuri observed, picking up a travel pillow from his lap, "Want to put your head on my shoulder and sleep a little?"
Victor gave him a weary, but appreciative smile.
"I don't think so," he said calmly, "I would be worried about having another nightmare and scaring everyone if I woke up shouting or something. I will sleep when we get home."
Yuuri let out a worried breath and frowned.
"Are you sure?" he asked tentatively, "You've barely slept in two days. I don't mean to…"
"It's okay," Victor assured him, taking Yuuri's slightly sweaty hand in his, "I've gotten by on very little sleep for longer, and I promise I will sleep as soon as we are in our own home. I just…don't think that I can do that here."
"Okay," Yuuri said unhappily, "I wish there was something I could do. I hate seeing you like this."
Victor's lips managed a little, genuine smile.
"I know," he answered, squeezing the hand he held and kissing Yuuri tenderly on the cheek, "And believe me, you are doing more for me than you realize."
"I don't feel like I'm doing anything," Yuuri said in a frustrated voice, "I want to find a way to make some of the hurt go away. I know you're going to have to hurt. Patya was your best friend. You were so close."
"We were," Victor acknowledged softly, "As close as we were, I just wonder why he didn't tell me something…why he didn't ask me for anything, why he did this without even giving me a chance to help him. We were friends. He knew that he could trust me and I would be there for him. I can't figure out why he didn't come to me."
"Well, whatever his reasons, you must know he really cared about you," Yuuri said reassuringly, "I don't know, but maybe he thought he was somehow protecting you."
He felt Victor stiffen suddenly in reaction to the words and his eyes widened as his husband gave a swift and angry response.
"He wasn't protecting me. That's not how you protect someone you care about. If he wanted to protect me, then he shouldn't have fucking killed himself!" Victor shouted, tears returning to his eyes.
He sucked in a surprised breath as he realized what he had done and couldn't help but notice the shocked and curious eyes of the other passengers turning in his direction.
"S-sorry," he managed, putting his face in his hands.
"It's okay," Yuuri said comfortingly, curling an arm around Victor and guiding his head to a warm shoulder.
"I just…shouted in front of everyone," Victor said in a humiliated tone, "They are going to think I'm crazy or something."
As if to punctuate the comment, a stern looking man dressed in plain clothes, but followed by one of the flight attendants, approached the two skaters.
"Gentlemen, is there a problem?" he asked in Russian.
"No," Victor said in a quiet, cautious manner, "I am…sorry for the disturbance. It won't happen again."
"That would be best," the man replied, "You should also refrain from drinking any more alcohol while we are in flight."
"I understand."
"Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Nikiforov," the man said solemnly.
Victor nodded silently and the man turned and sat down nearby.
"What was that? Who was that man?" Yuuri asked urgently, "What did he say to you?"
"He is anti-terrorism personnel," Victor said softly, "He works for the Russian government. He was just warning me not to cause any more disturbances. It's his job. Don't worry about it."
Yuuri gave his husband a skeptical look.
"You look pretty worried about it," he commented dryly, "You went all pale when he talked to you."
"Well, I just started shouting in the middle of a flight and probably scared everyone sitting near us," Victor said off-handedly, "It's fine, Yuuri. Just…let it go."
Yuuri sighed and entangled his fingers with Victor's, nuzzling closer to his husband and frowning worriedly at the tension he felt in Victor's body.
I can feel how much pain he's in, but there's nothing I can do except sit here and stay close to him. I can't change what he's going through. I can't make it any easier, but I can support him.
I just hope he'll be all right. I've never seen Victor this unsettled before. It's bad enough with what happened to Patya. Now, Victor has this guy thinking he's going to cause some kind of trouble. They take that seriously in Russia. We'll have to be careful.
Yuuri turned his attention to distracting Victor with small talk as the flight continued, and they landed uneventfully in Saint Petersburg some time later. The two disembarked the plane and walked to the baggage claim area, well aware that the stern looking man from the plane remained nearby, watching until they had their luggage and were on their way out of the terminal. As they arrived in the front of the airport, they spotted Yakov and Lilia waiting for them. The two moved in their direction, but just before reaching them, an angry male voice snapped something in Russian that made Victor's body go instantly taut. The Russian skater whirled to face the one talking. Yuuri first thought it must be related to the incident on the plane, then reconsidered as he studied the unfamiliar man and woman more closely.
They look more than angry.
They look distraught.
He moved closer to Yakov and Lilia, who stepped forward to join Victor as he faced the two.
"Who is that? What did he say?" Yuuri asked.
"It is Patya's parents," Yakov said in a low, warning tone, "They just accused Vitya of killing their son."
"Patya's parents?" Yuuri mused, trying to think if he had ever met the two.
I was introduced to Letya's parents, and I guess I did think it was a little strange not to also meet Patya's family. Victor and Patya never brought up the issue. In fact, they never talked about Patya's family at all.
"Well?" Patya's father inquired impatiently, switching to English as he spotted Yuuri, "Don't you have anything to say for yourself? You are the reason that our son is dead."
"And not even a phone call?" demanded Patya's mother, "We had to hear it on the news?"
"Well," Victor said in a hard, cold voice that Yuuri had never heard him use before, "maybe if you hadn't had him kidnapped and taken to that camp of horrors, years ago, he still would have been talking to you."
"We sent our son to a caring place so that he could get away from you and your reckless perversions," Patya's mother argued icily, her blue eyes blazing, "If it wasn't for you, kidnapping him from the camp and keeping him away from his family, we could have saved him!"
"You think you were saving him?" Victor answered angrily, "Do you even know what they were doing to Patya in that place?"
"They were curing him of his mental illness!" Patya's father shouted, "You should have let him be cured, and this never would have happened!"
"Are you insane?" Victor hissed, his eyes flashing and his hands clenching into fists at his sides, "Do you really think that teaching a boy to hate himself for being gay, locking him up, beating him and starving him is how you cure him? You caused Patya's mental illness by sending him there. And even though I got him out, he was damaged by what happened to him. Why else do you think he left me and married Letya, when he wasn't ever attracted to a woman? Why do you think he told me that he wanted to live a normal life and he fought himself to the death to try to make it real? Patya was gay and he was in love with me. You hated that. You hated me for it. And you made Patya hate himself for it too…you and all of the others who intimidated him for just trying to live his own life. If anyone is responsible for him throwing himself off of that balcony, it wasn't the person who accepted him as he was…who loved him exactly as he was."
"My son was not gay," Patya's father insisted, stepping forward aggressively, "You perverted him. You changed him. You seduced him into sin…and now, he'll burn in hell, just like you will someday."
He punctuated the scathing words with a backhanded slap across Victor's face. The stunned skater staggered back, putting a hand to his face as Yuuri, Yakov and Lilia stepped forward protectively. Patya's incensed father paused, his lips curling as he lashed out again verbally.
"Don't worry," he growled, glaring at the four, "we learned from what happened to our son. We aren't going to let it happen to our Patya's children. We are going to sue for custody and you will not be allowed to pollute their minds like you polluted my son's. You will never see them again!"
The two turned and strode out of the terminal, leaving Victor, Yuuri, Yakov, Lilia and a number of gawking observers looking after them. As soon as they were gone, Yuuri turned his attention to his husband, who still stood with one hand on his stinging cheek.
"Are you all right?" Yuuri asked anxiously, "He hit you pretty hard."
"He did," Victor agreed, wiping away a little trickle of blood from his beneath his nose, "They never accepted that Patya was gay. They always blamed me."
"They still do," Yakov said solemnly, "They are going to cause trouble for you. At least, they said that they will sue you for custody of the children."
"I don't think they know Patya wanted me to have custody of Liev and Akilina," Victor surmised, "They only want to keep me away. They probably think that Letya's parents are going to claim custody of the children, and I think it might be best for me to let them."
"What?" Yuuri asked, giving him a surprised look, "But, Patya clearly wanted you to raise his and Letya's children."
"Yes," Victor agreed, motioning in the direction of a car that had pulled up to the curb, "but our ride is here. We'll talk later about that."
The four were quiet as they loaded their bags into the trunk of the car, then climbed in for the ride home.
Yuuri looked up at Victor, watching as his husband touched a fingertip to the place under his eye, where a dark patch was forming.
"Looks like you're getting a black eye," Yuuri said unhappily, "We'll need to ice that when we get home."
Victor nodded silently.
"Vitya," Lilia said sternly, "you need to watch out for those two. Yakov and I have told you a lot of times that you should have a bodyguard, since you are a celebrity. I think you need to get one now to protect you. I don't want that man putting hands on you again."
Victor let out a soft, dismissive breath.
"Do you think I'll let him?" he asked.
"I think you need to remember that it isn't just you anymore," Yakov chided him, nodding in Yuuri's direction, "Vitya, Saint Petersburg may be a haven, but things are not good in general for gay couples, and you and Yuuri are in the public eye. You are supposed to gain custody of Patya and Letya's children. You know what the law says about that…"
"I know," Victor said, shaking his head, "and I told you, I am going to convince Letya's parents to raise the children."
"But…" Yuuri began.
"I know it was Patya's wish to have me do it," Victor said softly, "and I love them. I would do it if I could. But, you saw how angry Patya's parents are. They are not going to let me have the children. I am not their biological parent and I have shown publicly that I am pansexual. I didn't just hide the fact that I married Yuuri, when gay marriage is not legal in my country or his. Even though I didn't make a public announcement, it was in the news. Given just that, I will not be granted custody. It is safer and better for the children if Letya's parents raise them. I know Patya wanted different, but…I think he was wrong."
"Hmm," Yakov rumbled disapprovingly, "I understand why you are worried about that, but maybe you should talk to your lawyer and get more information before you make a decision."
"Yakov's right," Yuuri agreed, "and…Lilia's right that we should think about getting a bodyguard. That man hit you, and the way he was talking, I'm convinced that he could try to really hurt you."
"You don't need to hire a bodyguard," Yakov said shortly, "I did it for you, while we were in Denmark."
Yuuri's eyes widened.
"You did?" he asked, blinking in surprise.
The old man shrugged.
"You and Vitya were dealing with things and I have trustworthy connections. The security team will be meeting us at the house."
He gave Victor a meaningful look.
"I hope you don't mind," he added.
"It's fine," Victor assured him, "I'm glad you were able to keep thinking while I was reacting to everything."
"Vitya," Yakov said more softly, "you need to take care of yourself. Go home. Rest. Eat. Just get through the next few weeks while the business with Patya's funeral and final wishes is settled. Do you have the contact information for the counselor the Denmark doctor referred you to?"
Victor nodded.
"Yuuri," Yakov said, meeting the Japanese skater's eyes warningly, "make sure the appointment gets made."
"I will," Yuuri promised.
The four quieted again as the car turned onto Victor's street, only to find several media trucks parked there and news crews in front of the Russian skater's home.
"Damn it," Yakov sighed, "Let me handle them, Vitya. You and Yuuri go with the two men coming down from the porch. Their names are Maret and Sava. They'll get you inside while I get those people to go away."
"Thank you," Victor said gratefully.
The two bodyguards approached the car as it pulled up to the house and they immediately motioned for the news crews to move aside.
"Coming through, folks," the darker-haired man said in a loud, firm tone, "Please stand aside."
Victor and Yuuri waited as Yakov and Lilia climbed out to face the onslaught of questions and the quick, bright flashes of cameras that met them.
"Will Victor be making a statement?"
"Can you tell us what was in the note that Ipati Pechkin left behind?"
"Can Victor give us his reaction to this awful event?"
Victor and Yuuri scooted out of the car and were swept along by the two bodyguards, who carefully herded them past the shouting reporters and to the front door. They hurried inside and Victor slammed the door behind them, his heart pounding as he took slow breaths to calm himself. They heard a little sob, and Victor and Yuuri turned to find Letya's parents and the little boy and girl standing in the entry, waiting for them.
"Vitya," Eva whispered, "thank god you are here."
"Why did you come here, with all of that going on outside?" Victor asked in a concerned tone.
"I'm sorry," Filip apologized, holding a hand on Liev's shoulder as the little boy sniffed and wiped his eyes, "We tried to protect the children, but…it's all over Saint Petersburg what happened to their father. We told them and we comforted them, as best we could. They wanted to come to you."
"They were afraid," Eva managed in a broken whisper, "They were worried for you."
"Well," Victor said, smiling gently and dropping to his knees in front of the two, "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. Whatever happens, I will be here for you."
He looked up at Eva and Filip sadly.
"I will be here for all of you."