"Hermione..." The door to Hermione's room opened slowly and she closed her eyes tightly wishing she could close her her ears as well. "Hermione do you want to come with us to Diagon alley?"
Cho Chang stood quietly looking into Hermione's dark room from the doorway. She looked from the parchment paper haphazardly tossed amongst the many tissues on the floor and could see her friend's slender figure completely covered under a large comforter on the bed. There was a small part of her that understood Hermione's pain, but also she knew that losing someone unwillingly vs willingly must feel different. Cedrick was taken unwillingly... He didn't choose to leave...
But Hermione...
She was left willingly and though no one cared to admit it, not even Hermione herself... it broke her.
It had been nearly two months and Hermione kept to herself every day. She wouldn't let anyone see her cry. She went to work as quiet as a mouse, and would return very much in the same demeanor. It was only when she entered the laboratory to bathe that one could hear the heart wrenching sobs that she had undoubtedly been holding in all day.
Each sob, quiet but heard over the splash of water...
Each sob, followed by a shudder gasp that echoed in the small walls of the shower.
The heart wrenching cries seemed to coat the walls and the residue was building creating this heavy feeling of grief. There were some days she would be unable to control how loud she cried. It was on those day Cho and Lavender tried hard not to listen to their roomate although their hearts reached out to hers.
Once Hermione was in her room, they knew she must have placed a silencing charm on her room so she could really cry it out. She only knew this because she would hear the gasp followed by a short agonizing cry before a gentle and pleasant hum that emanated from Hermione's door. She understood wanting to have privacy, but she wished Hermione would talk to them about her sorrows. It would do her good rather than keeping it all in to herself like she was.
Cho understood everyone handled heart break differently, but she didn't understand how Hermione could be this effected by one person... One that no one even understood why or how she had even begun a relationship with him... Everything about their relationship was a blur to everyone on the outside of the relationship and try as they might, no clarity ever came to them. Yet, one thing was clear. Hermione was hurting.
Because of him... and they didn't even know what had happened...
Hermione went to see him.
Came back an hour later which was much earlier than normal.
She looked pale, as if she was going to be ill. Her cheeks had dry lines from what must have been trails from her tears. Hermione didn't even look at Cho or Lavender who were sitting on the couch enjoying each other's company. Lavender called to Hermione softly, and stood up to walk to her before rushing to catch Hermione as she collapsed to the floor, clutching her chest, as she sobbed with all her might. The sound was deafening.
But ever since then, she never showed her emotions about the affair.
Cho sighed looking down at the floor before backing out of the doorway to close the door, taking away the small amount of light that had been illuminating the inside of the room as she left. Her footsteps told Hermione when she had headed down the stair case, and the squeak of the front door told her that Cho had opened the door to leave.
Should she have left with her? Taken her offer to go to Diagon Alley? Did it make her seem as if she couldn't function past going to work at the Ministry's office and coming home? She really didn't want anyone to question her or even suspect she wasn't doing well. But she knew that everyone already knew. What was the point in trying to hide it any more?
Because she never just gave up...
Hermione sat up in her bed, looking at the mess on the floor and then at herself. Today was suppose to be her day off and here she was, a mess in a mess. Why was she living so pitifully?
It was just a breakup...
"Scourgify..." Hermione whispered after grabbing her wand off her bed side table.
Immediately her room started to put itself back together. The wads of tissue rolling to the waste bin like mini tumble weeds. The parchment paper going up to her desk to stack in a nice pile. Her laundry being sorted to be cleaned or folded before folding said clothes to put away. She didn't want to take the time to actually clean.
Hermione stood up to look in the mirror and just as soon as she lifted off the bed, the bed made itself. Goodness...
Did she look like this going to work? Why had no one told her about the bags under her eyes? Of the uneven color of her hair, or lack of style it had? Goodness she looked worse than her first year at Hogwarts...
"Rutrum Pulchritudo..." She whispered and closed her eyes as her make up brushes, hair brushes and other beauty products got to work. Maybe... Just maybe she could try to be a good friend today? She thought as she waited for her make up to be done. It had been a long time since she had spent some time with her friends.
Even before...
Hermione could feel the tears building in her eyes and shook her head. Her chest started to tighten, and it was a pain that spread up to her nose making it tingle in only the way a heart felt cry did...
"Merlin be damned!" She hissed going to her bed, pulling back the covers to recover herself with the comforter. What was the point? She had no energy to do anything. She tried.
No. No you didn't... just like you didn't try to fight to keep your relationship...
She told herself curling her legs up to her chest.
She just wasn't ready.
She tried today... She cleaned her room.
Maybe tomorrow she could do a little more.
But not today...