Chapter 9: Ipati's Angel

Yuuri carefully placed servings of freshly made Russian pancakes on six plates and nodded to Liev and Akilina to come and help him.

"Can you take the plates to the table?" he asked.

"Yes, Yuuri-san!" the children answered, using the appellation that Victor had taught them.

Akilina left for the table, carrying two of the plates, but Liev paused, looking at the plate made up for Victor.

"Yuuri-san, is Uncle Vitya going to come to the table?" he inquired, glancing in the direction of the master bedroom door, "He is usually up by now. Is he still not feeling well from yesterday?"

"I think he's still not feeling well," Yuuri sighed anxiously, "but hey, maybe seeing you would cheer him up. Why don't you take his breakfast in to him? You can ask if he needs anything else."

"You don't think he would be bothered?" the boy asked, giving him an uncertain look that Yuuri was sure he'd seen on Victor's face before.

Victor really is part of Patya's family. I can see it all of the time in the children, the little expressions or ways of doing things that they must have picked up from him. Liev's eyes remind me of Victor's…

"I'm sure the last thing Victor would be is bothered by you. Go on. I think he's awake. He's still just resting."

The boy nodded and picked up Victor's plate. He thought for a moment, then picked up his own and walked into the bedroom, where he found Victor reclining quietly in the bed with Maccachin laying beside him. Liev carried the plates to the bed and smiled at Victor worriedly.

"Oh, good morning, Liev," Victor greeted him, "That looks and smells very good. Were you cooking with Yuuri?"

Liev nodded.

"We were teaching Yuuri-san how to make your favorite, syrniki, for breakfast," he answered, offering him the plate, "Do you feel well enough to eat something?"

Victor's smile was weary, but it warmed as he patted the bed, inviting Liev to join him.

"I think so," he replied, "but I think I'd like it if you stayed."

"I won't be bothering you, Uncle Vitya?"

"No, you will not be bothering me," Victor assured him, "Sit down."

He held Liev's plate while the boy climbed onto the bed. Maccachin whined and thumped his tail on the bed and Victor ate one bite, then shared a bit with the old poodle. They continued in silence for several minutes as each struggled for something to say.

"This is wonderful," Victor said, finally breaking the silence, "I already thought that Eva makes the best syrniki in the world, and now she is teaching Yuuri to as well."

"Yuuri-san wants to make you happy," Liev concluded.

"Yes."

Victor's expression softened as the boy's eyes clouded up and he looked down at his plate to hide the threatening tears.

"What is it?" he asked gently, laying a hand on the boy's slightly trembling shoulder, "Liev, what can I do to help you?"

"I don't know," the boy answered, sniffing softly, "I'm just…sad. It makes me sad that Mom couldn't be here for Dad and that made him so sad."

He seemed to think for a moment, then he turned his head and looked at Victor through teary eyes that were beginning to spill over.

"Sorry!" he apologized.

"It's okay," Victor said reassuringly, squeezing Liev's shoulder, "That made me sad too."

The boy bit his lip, measuring his words carefully before going on.

"H-he was happy when you came over. He was still sad that Mom died, but when you would come it was…more like how it was when she was there. Dad was better."

Victor drew in a slow breath.

"I was happy to be there."

"Then…why did you leave us and marry Yuuri-san?" the boy asked, making Victor freeze for a moment,

"Liev, I…"

"Uncle Vitya," the boy said in a troubled tone, "I know I wasn't supposed to, but…I heard Mom tell Dad when she was dying that…that…"

Victor gave the boy a crestfallen look.

"That must have been very confusing for you," he said uneasily, "I am sorry."

"Did Dad really love you the way you love Yuuri-san?"

Victor's eyes closed for a moment and his teeth clenched behind very slightly trembling lips.

"That was a long time ago," he managed shakily, "I don't know what to tell you."

"Did you love him back?" Liev asked, his voice tensing.

Victor gazed back at him helplessly.

"I did," he answered honestly.

Liev's frown deepened.

"But you didn't stay with him?" he asked.

Victor took a steadying breath.

"It was…confusing for Patya," he explained, trying to keep his voice calm, "Liev, you know that some people think that it is okay for men to love other men or for women to love other women and some people do not, da?"

"Mmhmm," the boy answered, focusing his eyes steadily on Victor's.

"Well," Victor went on, "the laws in our country sort of encourage people to think it's wrong."

"But, it's not…is it?" Liev asked, giving him a confused look.

"I don't think it is," Victor assured him, "I think that…our hearts tell us who we love, and no one else should tell us that we're wrong. The world is starting to change so that people like Yuuri and me can get married and be spouses, just like Patya and Letya were."

"Only you can't have babies," Liev pointed out.

"No, we can't," Victor agreed, managing a little smile, "Still, here is Russia, a lot of people don't agree with us. Sadly, for Patya…his parents did not think it was right for Patya and I to be together. This was very hard for Patya, and in the end, it broke his heart. This is what made him so sad. He loved me, but he was scared because he didn't know if it was right or wrong. He tore himself apart inside, because he loved his parents and he loved me. In the end, he left me, but not because he stopped loving me. It was just too painful for him to battle all of the bad emotions."

"Did you try to make him stay with you?" Liev pressed, "Were you mad when he married Mom?"

Victor gave the boy a tender smile.

"I was sad when Patya left me, and I was both happy and sad when he married Letya. But…Letya was such a kind person. She knew of Patya's struggle, and she encouraged him to remain good friends with me. We stayed close, and that helped all of us. And when you and Akilina were born, it was even better."

Liev looked down at his plate again and gave a ragged sigh.

"I wish Mom didn't die."

"Me too," Victor answered, "And I wish that Patya was still here."

"Uncle Vitya, what do you really think? Do you think Dad fell on purpose or do you think it was an accident?"

Victor bit his lip gently and turned his head to look out the window.

"I don't know what happened in his hotel room that night," he confessed softly, "but…my heart tells me that Patya had too much to live for. I know he was sad, because he felt confused about whether leaving me had been right or wrong, but he still had my friendship and he still had you and your sister. I have to believe that he was sad, but that it was the drinking that made him reckless and caused him to fall. And I promise you, that if I had even had the slightest feeling that anything bad was going to happen, I would not have left him alone. Liev, I loved Patya like a brother."

"Dad loved you too," Liev acknowledged, "That's why he told us to call you Uncle Vitya."

"Yes," Victor agreed, "and because we loved each other like brothers, I feel bad that I did not sense how deep his sadness was, or that it could make him reckless. I didn't know."

Liev gave a tentative nod and sucked in a shaky breath.

"I believe you."

Victor froze at the admission, his throat tightening so that he couldn't make a sound and his face a mask of anguish for a moment before he managed to bring it back under his control.

"Uncle Vitya!" Liev gasped.

"I'm okay," Victor whispered, taking hold of him and hugging him tightly, "I didn't mean to frighten you. It just…means a lot to me that you believe me. I love you and Akilina like you were my own, and I promise you that Yuuri and I will be there for you. Filip and Eva will be too."

"But…how do you know?" Liev asked sadly, "Mom didn't think she was going to die, and Dad probably didn't think he would either. You're sad right now too, Uncle Vitya…"

Victor's breath caught at the look of worry on the little boy's face and he captured it in his hands and kissed Liev tenderly on the top of the head.

"I swear to you," he promised, "what happened to Patya isn't going to happen to me."

"But, you're sad too, and you drink a lot like Dad did," the boy objected, "How do you know?"

"Do you feel this?" Victor asked, taking the boy's hand and holding over his beating heart.

Liev looked back at him curiously and nodded.

"My heart is strong in a way that Patya's could not be. I feel no confusion about my love for your father or about my love for Yuuri. I am sad, but your love and Yuuri's and your grandparents' is enough to keep me strong. Let all of our love keep you strong too. We will be all right. It will be okay. Liev, we will take care of each other."

His words seemed to mollify the boy, and the two finished their meal together before Yuuri stepped into the room to collect the dishes.

"I'll take them to the kitchen, Yuuri-san, so you can sit with Uncle Vitya," Liev offered.

"Thanks," Yuuri said gratefully, taking a seat on the bed, beside his still weary looking husband, "How are you holding up?"

Victor shrugged.

"As well as can be expected, I suppose. It was good to talk to Liev. There were questions he needed to ask, and I was glad to be there for him, even if I didn't have answers to all of them."

"I'm sure you did fine," Yuuri encouraged him, "You're really good with the kids."

"Thank you," Victor said, sincerely.

He sighed and thought briefly before asking his next question.

"Yuuri, may I ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me when you answer."

"Okay," replied, frowning and tilting his head slightly, "What do you want to ask me?"

Victor took a breath, steadying himself.

"Will you tell me how you feel about the prospect of being like parents to Patya and Letya's children? Everything has been happening so quickly, we really haven't had the chance to talk about it. I want you to tell me the truth?"

"I thought that you were going to encourage Filip and Eva to seek custody."

"I am planning to do that," Victor affirmed, "I just think that it would be wrong to make them suffer through a public battle over them too. But even though I won't be raising the children, I will be spending a lot of time with them and looking out for them. That can't be easy for you, considering that Patya was once my lover."

"You know that doesn't matter to me."

"But, it does matter to me. I have to know that I'm not hurting you with this, Yuuri."

"And I'm telling you," Yuuri assured him, "I think you're making the right decisions. I'll be there for you."

"But…how do you really feel about all of this? What is it doing to you?"

Yuuri didn't answer right away, but took a minute to gather his thoughts.

"I think you need to stop worrying about me," he said finally, "I'm okay with whatever you want to do, Victor. I know you'll be a good father figure to the children, and I want to help you."

"I know you do," Victor acknowledged, "but I have to warn you, Patya's parents have made it known that they are going to try to gain custody of the children…and…"

Yuuri gazed back at him questioningly.

"And," Victor went on, "I am sure that one of the tactics they will use is to bring attention to the fact that you and I are in a homosexual relationship. You already know from having lived in Russia for awhile that this is looked down on and the laws about homosexuality are restrictive."

"Yeah," Yuuri agreed, looking down at the rings on their fingers, "Japan is more accepting, but we still couldn't be married there either."

"But here, the laws prohibit expressions of homosexual love in front of children and they actively punish those behaviors as crimes. We are already careful of what we do in public, but with the children having such close contact with me and Patya's parents looking for ways to take them away…"

"What are you saying, Victor?" Yuuri asked anxiously, "Are you telling me that we might have to…to…?"

"I don't know what we might have to do yet," Victor admitted, taking his husband's hands in his, "I only know that I won't let us be separated…not you and me, and not us and the children. I will do what I need to do to protect all of us. It just may be a nasty fight, that's all."

Yuuri sighed and nodded.

"It's going to be hard to shield Liev and Akilina from all of that," he commented, "but I'm going to do my best to help you."

Victor smiled and kissed him tenderly on the lips.

"I know you will. You are always there for me, and I know you will be there for the children too."

"They're really great kids," Yuuri said admiringly, "I'm sure that Letya and Patya have been great parents, but it's also clear to me how much you've been a part of their lives. There are so many little things that they seem to have picked up from you."

"Well, when I lost my own family, I really only had Yakov, Lilia and Patya, so Patya and Letya sort of adopted me as their own. I think even orphans need to feel like they have some kind of family. This was the family that was there for me."

"I'm glad," Yuuri said, smiling and hugging Victor tightly.

Victor's smile brightened.

"And now, I am part of your family too. I…would love for the children to meet them soon."

"Really?" Yuuri asked, smiling.

"Mmhmm," Victor affirmed, "They haven't traveled much because of Letya's illness and then how hard it was for Patya after. But…once things settle and get better, I would like to introduce Filip, Eva and the children to my new family. I just know they will love your family, and that they will love Japan like I did. I swear it was the best thing I ever did, running away to Japan to coach you. I have never been happier than when I did that."

"I was never happier either," Yuuri laughed, "I mean, I was shocked when I learned that I had asked you to come while I was so drunk."

"I was more shocked than you when I learned that you didn't even remember seducing me on the dance floor and asking me to be your coach. I must have looked crazy, showing up there and demanding to coach you like I did."

"Don't worry about it. Everyone already knows that you kind of just do what you want to do. I can't complain about the results."

"Neither can I," Victor chuckled, nuzzling closer to Yuuri and kissing him on the mouth, "You make me so happy, Yuuri. I look at you and…it's always like seeing the sun rising, you know?"

"Is it?" Yuuri asked, blushing, "I'm not doing anything."

"You don't have to do anything at all," Victor sighed, "Just…like you told me that time…be who you are."

"I will be," Yuuri said reassuringly, "I will always be the person who loves you and supports you the most."

For just a moment, all of the sadness left Victor's handsome face and his smile finally reached his handsome blue-green eyes.

"You are an angel, Yuuri," he sighed, holding his husband close, "You are my own living angel."

Yuuri hugged back for several long moments, then pulled away slightly to look into Victor's eyes again.

"You know something?" he said softly, brushing the long silvery strands away from his husband's face, "you were Ipati Pechkin's angel before you were mine."

"Yuuri," Victor complained, "you don't have to…"

"Patya was lucky to have your love."

"What do you mean?" Victor asked, the sadness returning to his expression, "All I ever brought to that man's life was chaos."

"Yeah?" Yuuri snickered, "well chaos isn't such a bad thing. Look at what happened for me. It isn't about you taking a wrecking ball to his life, it's about how you brought something wonderful to it. I know without having been there that Patya Pechkin's life was worlds better, because he had you in it. I think he would have had the same struggles, with or without you. But you loved him through everything, Victor. You should never feel anything but good about that."