Hermione took a couple deep breaths as she walked down the hallway at work. It had been three days since she had kissed Ron, and she still had no idea why she had done that. Was she out of her mind?

She was three months out of her previous relationship. She thought of him daily, sometimes hourly. It was worst when she was alone. But here she had gone and probably made Ron think that she was somehow interested in him when she didn't even know how she felt about anything.

God damn that wine!!

"'Minoe!"

Hermione looked up, and felt her arms tighten around the folders of papers pulling them to her chest. She knew it was Ron and could feel her body tightening in fear that he was going to say something about what had happened. However she was pleasantly surprised when he told her he was given an assignment that would take him out of the ministry for a couple of weeks.

It was like a wave of relief washed over her. That gave her time to figure out what was going on in her head.

"'Minoe, I just wanted to add... thank you for coming with me to the engagement party. I really appreciate it. I hope you feel better and don't drink so much wine by yourself." He teased which also surprised her.

He... He wasn't going to bring up the kiss? At all? She was not sure how she felt.

Did he like the kiss?

Was it nothing to him?

If it was nothing to him should it mean nothing to her?

Did it mean something to her?

Damn...

Ron nudged her gently before walking down the hall ahead of her. He sighed and clenched his jaw processing what he had just witnessed. She tensed. She bloody tensed up. She regrets even kissing me. Why did I lean in and kiss her back? He rose a hand to his face and groaned into it as he turned the corner to leave.

He knew that she was in a delicate place and now he felt he had just taken advantage of the situation. He thought that was what she had wanted but apparently he went to heavily... He just wanted to show her how badly he cared for her. He thought that was what she understood and enjoyed.

However that was what he got for thinking...

She looked happy...

"Ready Ron?" Harry asked tossing Ron his broom.

"As ever." He retorted mounting his broom as his goggled appeared on his face.

Harry could sense something was off but he didn't ask. He knew that this would distract Ron enough. If he asked about it, it would just make it worse and he didn't need that. "Alright! Let's go." Harry said and flew up into the sky first shortly followed by Ron.

• • • • •

"Hermione." Lavender said softly as they three of them were enjoying a batch of Spaghetti that they had made for dinner.

Hermione looked up from her plate and smiled.

"Yes."

"What do you miss... you know... about him?"

"Lavender." Chided Cho.

"Well, I am just curious. I still don't understand how their relationship came to be, how it lasted so long, and well why it happened." Lavender shrugged. "If it is too much to explain then that is okay... but I just wanted to ask."

"It's okay Cho... its been nearly four months. I can talk about this..." Hermione said putting her fork down.

"To answer your question Lavender, I miss everything. I miss the conversations we had while drinking tea at the end of the day. I miss visiting him at work and helping him grade papers. I miss being in his arms. I miss that he smelled like Lemongrass, frankincense and Sandalwood. I miss how his hand use to shake nervously when he touched me, even if it was just to caress my cheek. I miss that I would look up from a book and see him looking at me with this hint of adoration. I miss wearing his shirts despite his arguments as I walked around his home doing as I pleased. I miss making him his favorite sweets and treats. I miss brewing with him. I miss waking up before he did and watching him sleep or waking up to see him watching me. I miss how he hardly asked for anything and graciously took all I would offer without pressure. I miss how he would gasp when our lips touched and how his hands would hover over my hair as he enjoyed the feeling of our kisses." Hermione didn't realize it but as she spoke silent tears fell down her face. She lifted her hands to her hair to mimic the sensation and sighed shaking her head.

"I miss it all." She whispered. "It wasn't a relationship we sought out. It started slowly and honestly we didn't see it becoming a relationship until it was one. It started by occasionally seeing one another in the apothecary, at the three broomsticks, and around Hogsmead. Then in Diagon Alley. Then I started moving to his table to just have passing conversations. Do you remember when I had started going to Hogwarts to explain the importance of underage magic outside of school?"

Lavender and Cho nodded.

"That was when this changed. We were close. Closer than normal. He was everywhere." Hermione whispered.

"When... when it ended it was just abrupt. It didn't and still doesn't make sense. He said that we couldn't continue our relationship and that I needed to leave. That was it. Nothing further. He wouldn't answer my owls. He seemed to have disappeared quickly from my life and made it apparent that he wanted nothing more to do with me... Which hurt. We... we were more than physically connected, but emotionally, and... God I sound stupid... Sorry."

With that Hermione got up from the table and left to her room feeling a nauseous wave overcome her as she walked to her room. She knew she wouldn't through up but seriously... She felt horrible.

Not only was she dealing with her breakup with Severus. But now she had to deal with Ron... she didn't know how to fix anything.

She wanted Severus back. That much she knew. But what if they did get back together but it wasn't the same anymore?

Was it wrong for her to just be told that it would be okay? That it was okay for her to move on to something new? But why did she feel she needed permission? She didn't need it. She wasn't attached to anyone anymore...

But what if she got hurt again?

No.

She wouldn't let that happen...

She wasn't going to be hurt again.