Dear Jack,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry it had to happen this way. You deserve more than a letter. You deserve a real explanation, a real goodbye. Face to face. But I knew you would try to stop me. I knew you would try to make me stay. And I can't Jack, I can't stay here anymore. Every corner I turn I see Ryan, every for I fight I here my dads voice in my head. They're everywhere. I just need to go. Please don't blame yourself. I know you, I know what you'll think. That maybe if we didn't break up, if we were still together, that I would stay. Because I would have. I would have stayed for you. But that's not your fault. I pushed you away. I should have said yes. When I found your ring in the turnout room, when you told me you wanted more. Because I did want more, I was just... scared. It's so hard. Sitting here watching you and Maya build a life, a life I want so badly. Please don't waste your time looking for me because the truth is I don't want to be found. Not yet at least. I told Dixon you should be the next captain of Station 19. Remember when we were first fighting for captain? I wanted it so bad. But I want to beat you even more. I never thought I would be willingly giving it to you. You'll be great Jack, I know you will. Maybe some day in a couple of years I'll come back. Maybe I'll finally more on and be ok with you and Maya. Maybe I'll be able to walk the streets of Seattle without being reminded of everything I've lost. Maybe. But Jack, if I don't. If I never come back, I need you to know this... leaving you is the hardest this I've ever had to do. I love you Jack. And I'll miss you every minute of every day. But I have to be strong. We both do. Be strong for me.

All my love,

Andy

Vic POV

Jack burst through the doors of the beanery and walked straight to the table tossing a letter at me and a letter at Maya. I looked at the letter. Vic. It said on the front. I could recognize that handwriting anywhere.

"Oh my god" I whispered to myself

"What's this?" Maya asked, sounding annoyed. She was being wierd all afternoon. Something must have gone down between her and Jack at the funeral.

"It's a letter." Jack said. He sounded equally angry and sad. "From Andy. She's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?" Travis said from next to me.

"I mean she left. She packed her bags and left." Jack yelled. Throwing the glass of water in front of him against the wall. The beanery got quiet. Travis reaches down and grabbed my hand. Dean got up and started picking up the pieces of glass. Maya looked stunned. Jack just stood there. Leaning against the table staring at the ground.

"She said she might never come back." Jack whispered.

A tear fell from my cheek.

"Maybe some day in a couple of years I'll come back... Maybe. But if I don't..." Jack read his letter out loud to the rest of us. "She's not coming back."

Jack turned and slammed the door.

"This is all my fault." I whispered "I never should have left her alone."

"Vic..." Travis said quietly "it's not your fault, you couldn't have known she was leaving."

"Does Andy ever give up?" Dean said sitting on the other side of me. "If she wanted to leave, she would have left. There's no stopping that girl."

I smiled. She was stubborn. I looked down at the letter in my hands. Running my hands along the edge. I slowly stood up from the table.

"I'm gonna go to my bunk" I said leaving the table.

When I got to my bunk I closed the door behind me and sat in the bed. I opened the letter and started to read it.

Vic,

I want you to know that this wasn't an easy decision for me. I don't want to leave you. But I can't stay here. Seattle isn't my home anymore. Not when it's filled with memories of everyone I've lost. I've been planning to leave for a while now. Ever since Ryan died I felt like I was drowning. Then Jack and Maya got together and then Sullivan left and then... I just need to go. I have a plan. I'm not just running. I know where I'm going, at least for a couple of weeks. This so going to sound cheesy but if you ever miss me, just remember I'm always here with you, even if you can't see me. I really regret saying that but it's important. I don't want you thinking I left you because you didn't mean anything to me. You do Vic. You are the best friend I could ever ask for. You were always there for me. With everything I've gone through, I could always count on you. I'm sorry I have to leave you. But I do. I'm going to miss you so much.

All my love,

Andy

I sunk into the bed holding the letter right. I knew she meant it. I knew Andy wouldn't leave here unless she really had to.

Maya POV

I knew this was my fault. Maybe not all of it. But I knew by dating Jack I was contributing, making Andy's life just a little bit worse. But I didn't think she would actually leave. When everyone had left the beanery, I opened my letter

Dear Maya,

I'm sorry. Don't get me wrong, I'm still pissed. I don't think I will ever be able to fully forgive you. Because dating my ex who you knew I was still in love with... that was a bitch move Maya. But I am sorry that I reacted the way I did. Maybe if I had just talked to you, we wouldn't have gotten into that fight. Maybe we wouldn't hate each other right now and maybe it wouldn't hurt so much to see you two together. I'm leaving. Maybe for good. I don't know. I'm not writing you a letter to explain myself to you, I don't have to. And I'm not writing a letter to say I'll miss you. Because I won't. At least not anymore than I do normally. Because I don't miss you. I miss who you used to be. Who we used to be. And whether I'm in Seattle or Timbuktu I'll miss you the same amount. The real reason I'm writing is to say this. Take care of Jack. I certainly don't take comfort in knowing I'm leaving him with you but at least he won't be alone. I don't want him ruining his life because I left. Make sure he focuses on being a good captain and doesn't go into some wierd dark twisty place. It's up to you now to take care of him.

Andy

I almost started crying, reading that letter. She was right. It was a bitch move. And that fight... the things I said... that only made it worse.

3 months earlier - general POV

Andy walked into the house she and Maya shared.

"Maya, I'm home" No response. She must be asleep. Andy went to the kitchen and opened a bottle of tequila. Walking to Maya's room, she started drinking. Sipping the liquor straight from the bottle.

"I think we should call in sick tomorrow." Andy started opening the door to Maya's room. "Get drunk, watch Titanic. Maybe we could..." Andy stopped.

She stared at the sight in front of her. Jack and Maya. Her best friend and her ex. Asleep in bed.

"WHAT THE FUCK" Andy yelled throwing the bottle of tequila against the wall. Maya and Jack sat up startled at the sound of the bottle shattering.

"Crap" Maya said quietly

"WHAT THE FUCK" Andy repeated

"Andy... let me explain" Jack said gathering his clothes from around him

"Oh no Jack. The only this you are doing is getting the hell out" Andy pushed Jack into the hall, still only in his boxers.

"Leave." She said pointing to the door.

"Can I at least get dressed first?" He asked

"No... I don't want you here a second longer." Andy responded. Jack left the houses through the back door, pulling his clothes on as he walked down the driveway. Andy immediately went to her room and pulled some boxes out of the closet.

When Maya finally can out of the bedroom, Andy had packed 4 boxes.

"What are you doing?" Maya asked as she walked over to Andy.

"Leaving" Andy said while pulling her favourite mug out of the cupboard and putting it in the box.

"Can we just talk. Please" Maya pleaded following Andy as she walked out of the kitchen.

"Oh you mean about the fact that you fucked my ex? Sure let's talk about that." Andy said turning to face Maya.

"I'm sorry... it just happened."

"Last night, when you said you were tired and had to go home early?"

"No before that."

"So this has happened before... unbelievable." Andy said pulling clothes out of her closet and throwing them carelessly into boxes.

"How long?" Andy asked tossing a shirt she had borrowed from Maya back at her.

"3 months" Maya said quietly. Andy turned and looked at Maya.

"When. Exactly. Did. It. Start."

"When Jack and I were in aid car together... and you had just gotten suspended.

"You mean the day Ryan died." Andy shook her head in disbelief. "So when I was covered in my best friends blood you were... oh my god."

"Please Andy, it's not like anything was going to happen between you and Jack"

"I loved him Maya. You knew that. I told you how I felt and you just lied to me."

"You never loved him" Maya sneered "you were using him the whole time and you know it. Jack needs more than some damaged drama queen who is afraid of commitment."

Andy stopped. Her eyes were starting to fill with tears. She picked up the boxes she had packed and walked to her car.

"I'll come back for the rest of it later" she said before driving off.

That's it for this chapter, where do you think Andy went? Next chapter should be up in a day or two.