Elsa wakes up first, the smell of last night still heavy in her nose. She stretches her arms over her head and checks the clock. Five AM on the dot. You know you're in trouble when even in your sleep you do what you were taught to do. She sits up, noticing Anna's awake right next to her with her nose in a book. Elsa has to do a double take.
"Hey," Anna says first with a warm smile lighting up her eyes.
"Hey?" Elsa checks the clock again. "When did you start waking up at this time?" Anna sets the book down open on her lap and leans into Elsa, kissing her cheek.
"I figured I'd just follow after your footsteps while you were down for the count. And who'd be a better example than you?" Elsa's chest fills up. The compliment lands as intended, and Elsa gives her a small smile. "Can I get a good morning kiss now?" Elsa gives it to her and they get off of their respective sides of the bed, getting themselves ready for the day.
"You may borrow my clothes if you wish."
"Oooh," Anna clasps her hands over her chest, and wearing only Elsa's silky purple robe, she scurries into the walk in closet touching everything possible. Typically when Elsa created a dress, she'd keep a copy of it here. "Ugh they're so so so so so SO cute!" Elsa grins into the mirror, attempting to put her hair in a braid. She's struggling with it more than usual. I've only done this a thousand times, Elsa thinks aggravatedly. Elsa raises her hand and puts on her old blue ice dress. Weird memories with this one but… why not? "Hey Els! Help me get this one on." Elsa drops the piece of hair she was fixing and just leaves her hair down, fluffing it up. She walks into the closet to see her sister wearing her most "Anna-like" dress. It's dark green with purple seams, shoulderless and velvet.
"Looks gorgeous on you," Elsa praises, tightening the back tie by tie. When Anna spins around Elsa looks down at her open chest, freckles peeking over the top of the low collar. She touches the ring hanging over her tan skin. "You can't really hide this with a dress like that." Then Elsa winces at the dark purple mark just under her sister's jaw. "Annnd you can't hide that," she taps her neck, "either." Anna plays with her loose hair and shrugs.
"Too bad," Anna sings, brushing past her sister and shuffling through Elsa's makeup drawer. Elsa has her hands palm side up, naval height.
"Wait but think about this," Elsa tries.
"I have. A LOT. And If they get it, they get it." Elsa feels a load of stress make its way right back into the forefront of her mind. Her features wrinkle and her head feels heavy. This didn't happen when I was out there, in the North. It didn't even happen when I was in my own personal hideaway up North-West. I should really go back out there sometime soon. Check up on Marshmallow and maybe bring Olaf along. Anna leans over the oak vanity, applying her makeup with ease, finishing with a nice pink gloss Elsa never uses. "Ready to go to work?" Anna bats her lashes and Elsa gets off the doorframe, nodding and following after Anna. Since when am I the one who follows by the way?
Elsa's feeling oddly out of place in her own study. She's on the sidelines as Anna has a short meeting with a man who owns a coffee shop just over the castle bridge. Anna's saying all the right things and the man leaves happier than when he came in. Elsa's more than impressed… and it teeters on jealousy. It's not a feeling she's accustomed to and it unsettles her. Her sister's sitting in the chair Elsa's in for hours a day, signing papers and doing all the things Elsa does just as quickly. Maybe I really don't need to be here, Elsa thinks with a crook in her neck. She rubs away the burning anxiety on the back of her neck and clears her throat.
"Hey," Anna looks at her sister, raising one brow before setting down her golden pen. "You ok?"
"I'm fine," she lies. She's leaning uncomfortably against the windowsill, the blinds halfway pulled up.
"What is it?" Anna presses, getting up from the desk and rubbing her sister's shoulders. Elsa breathes jaggedly and looks out the window where there are leaves blowing in the wind, and the water is sparkling from the sunlight. She looks into the forest and wonders what the villagers are up to and how Honeymaren and Ryder are. There's so much out there she doesn't know the first thing about. She looks down at Arendelle, and she never has that wonder. There isn't a spark for her here. Her bedroom was a cage, the castle was a prison, and Arendelle is what holds it all in. She resents it.
But then she looks at her sister who shines brighter than all of those things. All of those negatives become positives just because she's here. Elsa looks down at her hands that hurt Arendelle, and they especially hurt Anna. That must've been so hard to forgive but she and Arendelle did forgive me as best they could. Therefore I shouldn't feel such resentment toward this land. Elsa rubs her head and covers her eyes.
"I don't know why I can't just suck it up," Elsa says, voice choking up. "Everytime I step back in Arendelle it feels like I'm being stripped of what makes me… me." Elsa cries against her palm, lashes sticking together. Annoyance kicks in and she grits her teeth, cursing herself for letting out tears at something this stupid.
"I don't think you're meant to be here Elsa."
….
….
Elsa rubs at her swelling eyes and wipes her nose, looking at Anna who she's just realizing looks a whole lot older within the last few months. No longer is Anna that skittish and love-seeking girl she was reunited with. She's not even the same girl Elsa knew three months ago. Anna's grown up, and thinking on it harder, Elsa feels like she has too.
"I mean it," Anna says softly, taking her sister's hand in her own. "I said this before, but I've always known this was coming. I'm ok with it now." Elsa looks at Anna sadly. "Well as ok with it as I can be."
"This feels like a goodbye," Elsa says quietly. Anna looks down at their hands and takes a minute before meeting with light blue eyes.
"Wherever you go, you'll still come back to me sometimes, right?"
"I don't want to leave you in the first place." Anna smiles at her, but it's the kind that's telling her, I know that's not entirely true. And Elsa feels weak. "Come with me," she says, knowing how selfish that sounds.
"I can't. Mamma and Pappa left Arendelle to us." Elsa drops her head against Anna's shoulder. "Just promise me you'll be happy out there."
"I'll try," Elsa mumbles. She holds Anna and Anna holds her back. "I think I should resign and you should become Queen."
"Um. I… I don't know about that," Anna squeaks. "C-can we wait on it for now? I'm… kind of scared." Elsa lifts her head and nods slowly. So much was happening. This was a big decision to make in such a short period of time.
"Yes." Elsa looks at Anna who's giving her a look she can't quite pinpoint.
"Els," Anna licks her lip. "Can I say something that might… upset you?" Elsa takes a deep breath and nods. Anna kisses her softly before starting. "I think I've been looking for some sort of fake relationship where both partners can help each other and support each other to the fullest." Elsa's brows wrinkle and she tightens her lips. "I honestly think it's probably for the best if I let things go and just try to understand that you have a lot going on... and sometimes you don't have any space left to give to me or Arendelle. And this isn't me trying to hurt you or argue again, it's just me coming to a realization that not everyone in a relationship gets what they want."
"...Anna?" Elsa searches her eyes, an uneasiness to her features.
"As much as I want you to always be able to show me love when I'm upset, or do exactly what I'm thinking, that doesn't mean you have the time or energy to. I'm not saying you never do, Els, I'm just saying that instead of me fighting you any time you don't, I think I just need to forget about it. I also think it's important that you can find peace and I can cope for myself."
"Where's this coming from?" Elsa asks, taken aback. "What'd I do?" Elsa looks caught between being offended and being incredibly concerned.
"It's something I'd been thinking about for a long time. Like months. I finally had the courage to say it. I don't want to be a burden on you. When you go, I want you to be totally free."
"Hang on you're not… breaking up with me are you?" Anna shakes her head quickly and holds the sides of Elsa's face.
"No no no baby." She kisses Elsa hard. "Never."
Elsa reflects on what Anna said throughout the day. She asked Anna to stop some of her work just so they could switch places. She did it so Anna didn't have to… but it also doubled as her final test with herself. Did she really want this anymore? Being Queen was the last thing holding her back. The sisters were called to meet with a different nearby Kingdom to discuss new ways to trade. Elsa was bored… thoroughly and numbingly bored. She'd never felt that way once when it came to her work before. It must have been a sign of the changes in her life.
The final nail in the coffin of her position was when Anna told her she'd been talking to the construction workers about what to do around Elsa's ice rink on that fresh land. That land being ok'd was the one thing Elsa was every truly excited about here in Arendelle. Now it was in her sister's hands.
"That sounds wonderful," Elsa says, her voice low. Her and Anna are having dinner at the long table that always felt so lonely with just the two of them. Elsa was just picking at her fish by this point, eyes staring blankly at her peas. She knew Anna had been watching her closely the whole day, and she knew Anna was picking up on every emotion Elsa felt.
"This is so…" Anna drops her fork loudly and rubs her temples. "I don't know. This is the saddest I've seen you in so long, I hate it."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't say sorry when you aren't," Anna says flatly.
"I am sorry."
"For what?" Anna says it louder than she intended, so she repeats it, softer. Elsa opens her mouth but it closes again. She gestures with her hand but that doesn't help either.
"I don't know…" Elsa rubs her forehead and Anna sighs. It annoys Elsa, a lot. And she feels that annoyance bubble up in her chest. It's so close to just bursting out of her mouth that she takes a huge gulp of whatever juice she was served to avoid any bitter thing she might say.
"Hey don't shut down on me now. This is probably the last night I'm gonna be seeing you for who knows how long." Anna coughs into her sleeve and rubs her fingers into her bangs. "God I'm trying so hard to act fine. But this is like so much harder than I thought it would be." Anna throws her elbows on the table and holds her head in her hands. The maid walks in but he gets the memo to go right back outside since Elsa's flurrying everywhere.
"I don't have anything to say," Elsa says with a childish hmmf at the end. Anna drops her hands heavily on the table and gives her sister a bored look.
"Yeah. Sure. You're always thinking just SAY something." Elsa shrugs and Anna groans, dramatically throwing her head back. "You're infuriating."
"I'M infuriating? What about you?" Elsa's snow starts getting a little heavier, swirling around the red dining room. Elsa stands up. SCRRR. She catches the chair before it falls with her foot. "You're giving me such mixed messages, Anna. I don't know what to do-I have NO idea WHAT to DO!" SCRR! DNK! Anna's chair hits the floor and Elsa jerks at the sound.
"So what does that have to do with me?" Anna slaps her hand against her chest. "What, am I supposed to TELL you what to do?! You're older than me-oh wait, that's right… YOU ALWAYS JUST DO WHAT PEOPLE TELL YOU TO DO!" Elsa hisses and brings her fist up against her own mouth, teeth clenched so hard they crunch. It's a full on blizzard, and Anna's frame is shaking but she's standing her ground at the head of the table. Elsa nods her head and starts walking heavily on the wood to the door. "Oh what-are you gonna slam the door on me now?" It takes every last bit of restraint for Elsa not to completely lose it. A cloud of snow follows after her and all the servants rush the opposite way of her. Still scared I see. Not that I blame them. Elsa stomps up the stairs, and halfway up she hears the familiar sound of her sister's footsteps coming up quick. Elsa sighs and starts moving quicker.
She sprints down the hall toward her door, and from the sounds of it, Anna is almost right there behind her. She skids on the carpet, her feet burning, and stands face to face with her bedroom door. She doesn't think much about it, she just raises her hands over her head and widens her stance. SHHHP. An ice axe forms in her hands and Anna freezes in her tracks.
"UM?!" Before Anna can say anymore, Elsa slams the axe into her bedroom door. A maid pops her head out of a room and squeaks before slamming that door shut. Anna's floored. I think she's finally lost it, Anna thinks with a tinge of amusement. This is horrifying… and maybe a little hot. BUT LIKE REALLY SCARY NONETHELESS!
CRACK! CRACK! SHHK! SHK! CRRRSHK!
"Fuck this door," Elsa growls, hair going everywhere. CRACK! Elsa throws the ice axe through the broken shreds of the door and it clunks on the floor loudly. She kicks the door in and Anna follows after her, a worried wreck. Elsa starts rummaging through her bedside stand and whips out a bunch of her old blue gloves before making them solid ice and chucking them through the glass window. "FUCK those gloves!" Anna yelps and peeks her head out the window to see where they fell. WOOH! Thank Goodness no one was under there, heh. She turns to see Elsa tearing off her dress.
"Wait that dress is like so cute!" Anna puts a hand out and retracts it when Elsa tosses her dress onto the floor and makes a one handed axe that she throws on top of the dress, cutting it nearly in two. Elsa waves her hands and she's in that white dress from yesterday. Elsa's huffing, bending to touch her knees. Anna gulps before touching her sister's shoulder. Elsa doesn't reject the touch so Anna will take that as a win.
"Hey… you good?" Anna asks with a hesitant quiver of her lips. Elsa cracks a smirk and Anna gives her a hesitant smirk back.
"I really needed that," Elsa says, twisting her back to crack her spine. Anna gags at the noise.
"Grossss." Elsa lifts her hand and cracks one knuckle, then the next. "Stop," Anna warns. Crack! "Ew!" Pop! "Ugh!" Anna tackles Elsa onto the bed and holds her down, pinning her wrists over her head. Elsa looks down and Anna's breasts are nearly spilling out of her dress.
"Oh look," Elsa says with a cocky grin on her face. Anna smiles and tries to hide it by turning her head away. Elsa slips her wrist out of Anna's grasp and turns Anna's jaw toward her. "Sorry for how I acted," Elsa mumbles. Anna grips Elsa's wrist tighter, putting her weight on that arm.
"Me too," Anna says softly. She looks up at Elsa's broken door. "Well that's gonna take some explaining." Elsa nods with a sheepish grin. "My room?" Elsa nods yes. Her sister holds the Queen's hand and they shut Anna's door behind them. They sit on the two-seater in front of the fireplace that has no fire. "This kinda reminds me of Christmas." Anna smiles fondly and holds Elsa's thigh, leaning her head on Elsa's shoulder too.
"Except I'm not a nervous mess," Elsa recalls with a scratch of her head.
"I was too," Anna admits. She watches her fingers as they graze over her sister's leggings. Elsa shifts and her lightly toned muscles bulge on her thighs. "Damn. You're gonna get so strong when you're out there doing stuff and being all fit n' active… n' hot." She doesn't see it but she can hear the smile. "Why'd you get all the sexy genes and I got the clumsy, frumpy, redhead ones?!" Elsa's kissing the top of her head and Anna closes her eyes.
"If it helps," Elsa leans closer into her ear. "I find you devastatingly attractive in every possible way." Anna shivers at the way Elsa said that. She sounds so adult it's like… awesome. Elsa rubs Anna's side, and Anna keeps touching Elsa's legs. Anna takes in a big breath, taking in the minty scent of Elsa she's so addicted to. It makes her giggle when she hears Elsa do the same thing. Elsa tickles Anna's side and Anna throws her body into Elsa's lap to stop her from touching it. "You're cute," Elsa coos, pushing Anna up by her shoulders and leaning in for a kiss.
Anna gives it to her, taking her top lip and letting her hands roam over Elsa's shoulders and arms. She wants to touch every part of her she can tonight. She gets light headed with the way Elsa sucks down on her neck and grips her hips with all her strength. She loves the feeling of Elsa being forceful because it's always just enough and never too hard. It's good to see Elsa taking control of something and it really gets her weak at the knees knowing she's probably the only thing Elsa ever gets that way with.
"Kiss me more," Anna says in between kisses.
"I am," Elsa argues teasingly.
"Well more than more." Elsa breathes against her nose and Anna chuckles. Elsa leaves her mouth to kiss Anna's wrist and grazes her tongue all the way up to the side of her neck again. Anna's heart is pounding, but not because she's specifically lust-focused; she just can't control how many breathless dizzying thoughts of how much love she has for Elsa. One second they fight, the next they're making love. She can't explain it besides thinking out loud that, "Love is like a whirlwind." Then her eyes widen. "Oh wait. Let's not forget who we are. Love's like a blizzard." Elsa chuckles and looks her sister in the face, pulling her to be on her lap.
"Well then good thing the co—"
"—cold never bothered you anyway," Anna says with a mocking nasally voice, face scrunched up. Elsa lets her freezing touch graze over Anna's warm skin and she yelps. "Sorry sorry. It's just too easy."
"You're easy," Elsa jokes getting a slap over the back of the head that she pouts at.
"Whatever," Anna huffs. "It's hard not to be when someone as amazing as you is right there."
"Sweetheart I was joking."
"Yes I kn—ugh. Els," Anna slaps her hand over her face. "The banter was going so well." Elsa shakes her head and smiles. Anna smiles back.
….
"I have a proposition," Elsa says quietly. "I wanna start easy. ...Maybe I'll only leave during the day for now, and I'll come back every night."
"Ok."
"Alright," Elsa nods.